Chapter 7. Farewell
Chapter 7. Farewell
Chapter 7. Farewell
I walked and walked.
Without knowing where I was going. I just walked, holding So-hee, heading toward a place with neither people nor monsters.
It was strange. I was cutting right through the middle of that chaos, yet nothing touched me.
People huddled in alleys averted their eyes the moment they saw me, and those things that used to be animals, prowling in the darkness, didn't even try to approach me.
They just kept their distance, wary, circling around me.
It was as if they knew instinctively. That I was something that shouldn't be touched.
Perhaps I really had become something like that.
Once, a pack of Mutated Wild Dogs was swarming at the end of an alley.
Under normal circumstances, I would have had to run for my life.
But as soon as they made eye contact with me, they whined, tucked their tails, and backed away.
As if they were facing an apex predator overwhelmingly larger than themselves.
The streets were completely shattered.
Overturned cars, broken glass, acrid smoke.
There were unmoving corpses strewn about everywhere, but I didn't even spare them a glance anymore.
There was nothing I could do about it anyway.
So-hee, held in my arms, grew colder and heavier as time passed.
Sometimes, I had the illusion that she was still warm.
Every time that happened, I slowed my pace and stared quietly at her face. And every time, I cruelly realized it again.
That she wasn't warm.
That she would never be warm again.
How long had I walked?
I climbed a low hill at the edge of the city.
It was a quiet place with dense trees and an old shrine standing there.
By the time I reached here, the screams and lights had faded far into the distance.
Below the hill, the city submerged in darkness and the black sea beyond it were visible.
It was the very same sea I had looked at while holding hands with So-hee during the day.
I thought this would be a good place.
I dug into the ground beneath a tree.
I had no shovel or tools, but it didn't matter.
My fingernails broke and my fingertips were covered in mud and blood, but it didn't hurt.
No, I didn't have the mental capacity to feel pain.
Rather, using my body mindlessly like this was better.
Because the moment I stopped my hands, I felt like the madness in my head would go wild.
So, I just dug silently.
For a long time, until the night deepened.
Suddenly, I realized something strange.
Even though I'd been beaten to a pulp earlier, my body was fine.
My ribs, which I thought were broken, throbbed, but I had no trouble moving.
My torn lips had also healed cleanly before I knew it.
I blankly thought about the reason, and reached the conclusion that perhaps my physical specs had been reconstructed as my level rose rapidly.
It wasn't even funny.
I couldn't protect the person I needed to protect, yet only my body had become fine.
Around the time the eastern sky was turning pale, I laid So-hee down quietly in the deep pit I had dug.
She looked like she was just sleeping.
It felt like she would open her eyes at any moment, give me that lovely smile of hers, and call out, "Ji-han-ah."
I took in So-hee's face one last time.
I stroked her silky hair and brushed her cold cheek with the back of my hand.
I had seen it every day for three years, yet I still thought she was terribly beautiful, and that made me feel even more like I was going crazy.
I took out the Sisa Doll from my pocket.
I also took out the doll she had originally possessed from inside So-hee's arms.
The one that looked exactly like a twin.
'I'll take one, and you take one!'
So-hee's clear voice from the day echoed like an auditory hallucination.
I placed one doll on So-hee's chest and put the other back in my pocket.
"If I do this, even if we're apart, we're still together... right...?"
There was no answer.
I covered her with dirt.
One handful, then another.
I couldn't bear to let go, but I stubbornly covered it to the end.
Even after covering it all, I sat slumped in front of that dirt mound for a long time.
I felt like I should say something, but no words came to mind.
Suddenly, trivial memories flashed by like a revolving lantern.
Your voice, chattering until dawn.
The pleasant weight of you leaning on my shoulder on the airplane.
The smile you gave me, looking at me lovingly.
Trivial, insignificant things.
I only realized after losing them that those insignificant things were my entire world.
'I should have told you I loved you at least once.'
She had told me that even at the very last moment, but I couldn't return those words to her in the end.
"...I'm sorry. For not being able to protect you."
After countless regrets and sobbing, the only thing that came out of my mouth was a single word of apology, that was all.
Because if I had said anything more, I felt like I would truly crumble.
The sun had risen before I knew it.
The world brightened up again as if nothing, no such tragedy, had happened yesterday.
Except for the silence where not even a single chirp of a bird could be heard, it was terribly peaceful.
"I will... definitely come back..."
I slowly walked down the hill.
Strangely, no more tears came.
No, it was as if the sorrow had sunk into such a deep abyss that nothing floated to the surface.
A cold, hard murderous intent was filling that void instead.
One scene kept circling in my head.
The faces of those pieces of trash who were giggling.
And the words they spat out.
'Level up.'
If you kill a person, your level goes up.
That was why those bastards killed So-hee.
Just to raise a few numbers, they killed someone they saw for the first time, someone who had done nothing wrong.
...This was the law of the world I had to live in from now on.
Rules had vanished, and power became the law.
If you are weak, you get taken from, and if you are strong, you take.
Last night, So-hee, and countless others, proved that.
Kind and gentle people die first.
Just like So-hee.
People who hesitate are the same.
The ones who survive are the ones who strike first.
Then I could do that too.
Without hesitating, I just had to destroy them before they could take from me.
It was a simple task.
Because it was the most certain survival method this crazy world had taught me.
And to be honest, I just wanted to destroy whatever it was.
Because I didn't know where else to release this suffocating chest.
Second year of middle school. I remembered when my parents passed away.
Back then, I was more dazed than sad.
I think I only realized the emptiness after a long time had passed.
About 10 years later, now, I had lost the most precious person in my life again.
It was the same this time.
Only, this time, the emotion of rage was added.
I looked down at my hands.
When I applied a little force, blue sparks crackled at my fingertips.
Vividly and intensely, unlike that first time.
Last night, the sensation of pouring out this power flashed through my mind.
Ecstasy. That terrible ecstasy as the Blue Lightning burned everything pitch black.
I didn't want to admit it.
But... at least for that moment, I liked that I couldn't think of anything.
Sorrow, regret, guilt.
In that bright blue light, they all disappeared, at least for a moment.
Perhaps that was why.
That I was captivated by this cruel power.
Because I felt like I could endure this hell without So-hee as long as I was going crazy.
To a guy who didn't know how to mourn or how to endure sorrow, that was all that was left.
Rage. And the blue lightning.
I knew it was a dangerous sensation.
Even knowing that, I didn't want to turn away.
I didn't have the mental strength left to do so.
I could see the burning city in the distance.
I walked slowly toward that slaughterhouse.
Before I knew it, the sun was high above my head. And when I came to my senses again, it was dark all around.
I didn't even realize how time had passed.
I didn't feel hungry or sleepy, even though I hadn't eaten or slept.
Was this because my body had changed, or because my senses were paralyzed by grief?
Come to think of it, I think I shoved some water and bread into my mouth at a collapsed convenience store, and I think I closed my eyes for a moment under some eaves.
All memories were blurry like fog.
The only clear thing was the cold murderous intent settled in the center of my chest.
I inadvertently opened my status window once.
[ Name : Seo Ji-han ]
[ Attribute : Electric Shock ]
[ Lv. 27 ]
I had only gone berserk once in the vacant lot that night, but I was already level 27.
Was it not...? Was that really all?
Had I killed someone unconsciously after that?
I couldn't remember.
There was no way to know if that level 27 was high or low.
There was definitely no standard to compare it to, but I felt it intuitively.
'It's easy.'
The mechanism of leveling up felt extremely easy.
I didn't know if I was a special case who felt that way, or if everyone felt that way, but somehow... I felt the difficulty itself was too easy.
To think that I would feel it's 'easy' after killing a person.
I wondered if I was in my right mind, but it didn't matter.
It was a crazy world anyway.
I walked aimlessly through the empty streets like that.
Then, I heard a familiar sound at the corner of an alley.
A despicable, giggling laugh.
And someone's desperate scream.
My feet stopped on their own.
I peered past the corner.
A few big men were cornering some people against a dead-end wall.
As the guy holding a well-sharpened piece of metal approached with a grin, the people cornered screamed.
A woman was crying and begging, hiding a child behind her back, but the man didn't even pretend to listen.
He just adjusted the weapon in his hand as if looking at an annoying fly.
It was again.
A disgusting sight that was no different from that night.
Those pieces of trash must know too. That if you kill a person, you get stronger.
That must be why they are 'hunting' only such helpless and weak people like that.
Suddenly, the faces of those Japanese bastards who were giggling while surrounding So-hee overlapped.
It was the same.
That face that smiles wickedly because they know the opponent is weak.
That disgusting expression that has become accustomed to taking.
The moment I witnessed that scene, that cold thing in my chest slowly raised its head.
My fingertips started to tingle scarily again.
I wanted to make that laughter stop. Forever.
Jijijikㅡ
I wanted to kill them.