Floor Noise
Batch Coin: 964.7534 coins.
Sold at an average of 149,155,593 won each.
Total: 143,923,241,180 won.
I'd taken a hit of nearly 940 million compared to before the sale, but at least I'd turned it all into cash.
Or rather, I was in the process of turning it into cash.
The daily won withdrawal limit was 500 million, so this was going to be a long job—almost 290 days.
And right from the start, things got pretty intense.
"After carefully reviewing the source-of-funds documentation you submitted, we found no irregularities. Both the path by which the funds were formed and the purpose of the withdrawal have been clearly verified, and we are pleased to inform you that you have passed our internal review."
"So I can keep withdrawing?"
"Of course, sir. Withdrawal requests have been resumed, and the funds will be deposited normally into the account you designated sometime this afternoon. You can check the deposit details directly in your account."
"Thank you."
"Is there anything else we can help you with?"
"No. Have a good day."
"Thank you, sir. We hope you have a good day as well."
Whew... thank god.
The moment I withdrew three billion into my account over six days, the account got frozen and the bank called. They suspected money laundering and demanded documentation explaining the source of the funds.
I nearly shit myself.
The coins I'd bought with my grandmother's inheritance were Dart Coin, after all. I had no idea how Dart Coin had turned into Batch Coin, so I'd been scared out of my mind—but thankfully, nothing came of it.
Was heaven looking out for me?
"Speaking of which... Retto Coin..."
The coin that stingy Manager Oh had invested in kept catching my eye. I already had more than enough money, but more money was always better money.
"Maybe just throw in about a billion? A billion wouldn't even be noticeable if it disappeared, and this money's going to be locked up for almost three hundred days anyway.... Hmm... screw it, let's go!"
I put a billion into Retto Coin... no, I added another four billion for a total of five billion invested.
Even with nearly 140 billion to my name, the fact that fifty billion was the maximum I could bet felt a little cheap. Still, it never hurt to be careful.
Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!
"Ah... here we go again..."
No matter how many times I went through this, I never got used to it. If anything, the more I endured it, the closer I came to losing my mind.
This goddamn floor noise...!!
"Hey, you fucking asshole! What the hell are you doing up there?!! Are you renovating?!! You son of a bitch?!!!"
I jabbed the ceiling with the stick I'd bought specifically for floor noise and screamed like a maniac.
Weekdays, weekends, any hour of the day—the noise never stopped. I wanted out of this studio apartment as soon as possible.
Right. First things first—buy a house.
"Hoo.... Fuck, finally quiet..."
Thud-thud!! Thud-thud!! Thud-thud!!
This son of a bitch was screwing with me now...!!
Bang!!
I threw open the door and stormed up the stairs two at a time. Then I stood in front of unit 402—the source of the floor noise.
I wasn't the only one suffering. The front door was plastered with sticky notes.
[Please keep it down!]
[I'm a civil service exam prep student! Please let me live!!]
[Do you live alone?! Show some manners!!]
They clearly didn't give a damn about the notes on their door. Some looked ancient; others looked freshly stuck on, still clean. And on the floor in front of the door, sticky notes that had been stepped on with shoes lay scattered everywhere.
What kind of human being was this...!!
Thud-thud-thud-thud!!!!
I pounded on the door and the sticky notes fluttered down in a shower. But no one came out? They weren't coming out?
Fine. Let's see how long they can hide.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud-thud!!!!!
I hammered on the door like a man possessed. The neighbor next door, the one next to them, people from the stairs above and below—all of them poked their heads out to stare at me.
Their eyes looked like they were watching a hero who'd come to save a world plunged into chaos. There was even a desperate hope in them.
Alright. I'll settle this today. Let's all be free of the floor noise.
Click—
At last the door opened, and the culprit of the floor noise revealed herself.
Pink slippers. A rose tattoo on the top of her foot. Leggings clinging from her ankles all the way up her sides. And a sports bra on top.
Fuck, is this a gym?!!
"What do you want?! You're being loud!"
"Ha..."
It was so absurd I actually laughed. I'm being loud? Coming from that mouth?!!
"Hoo... Look."
"What! If you've got something to say, spit it out! I need to work out!"
"......"
Should I hit her? Was it okay to hit a woman?
For now, hold back. I had to hold back.
Pluck—
I peeled one of the sticky notes off the door and held it up in front of her face.
"Can't you see these?"
"Did you put this up?!"
"I didn't put it up, but I feel the exact same way. Please keep it down at home. Okay?"
"I don't wanna."
"Excuse me??"
"Whether I keep quiet at home or not, what business is it of yours?"
"......"
At this point, wouldn't hitting her be legal?
"Ah... fucking annoying, shit..!"
"Shit..?"
"Yeah, you shitty bastard. Get lost. You're pissing me off."
"Hey!!"
"Oppa!!!"
Oppa?
She wasn't calling me. And given the situation, the kind of person who'd show up was pretty obvious.
Exactly this kind of bastard.
"Who the fuck are you?"
"......"
A thug who came out wearing nothing but underwear, showing off the drawings plastered all over his body like they were something to be proud of. So cliché it made me yawn.
"I said who the fuck are you, you shitty bastard."
"Not a shitty bastard. I'm from downstairs."
"So why the fuck are you banging on someone else's door and making a scene..!!"
The thug shoved the half-open door wider and shoved his face into mine.
"This isn't a place where you live alone. Let's keep it quiet at home."
"'Let's'? You fucking piece of shit. You giving me orders right now?"
"Is this an order? It's a request."
"Ha... this son of a bitch is screwing with me..! Hey! Hey!!"
"......"
He jabbed my chest with his fist. As my shoulders rocked back and I was forced to step away, he followed, still punching my chest. The woman watched from behind and snickered.
The neighbors who'd opened their doors to watch—the one next door, the one next to that, the people on the stairs—had all vanished without a trace.
"Say it again, you shitty bastard. What the fuck are you gonna do about it?"
"......"
"I said say it, you son of a bitch."
"......"
"Useless retard piece of shit. If you've got nothing to say, get the fuck out, you retard. Ah! And clean all this shit up on your way. If I come out and see even one of these still here, I'm coming to find you."
"......"
In the end, I didn't say a single word. No—I chose not to.
"Hoooo.... Almost hit him."
"Um, excuse me..."
I turned my head. From the bottom of the stairs, a woman was peeking out with just her face, gesturing for me to come down.
Messy, greasy hair. Big horn-rimmed glasses. The woman who lived next door in 301. She was probably wearing the same outfit she always did—an oversized white T-shirt with a stretched-out neck and gray sweatpants with the knees blown out. She walked around like that every day, so it was impossible not to recognize her.
"What is it?"
"That guy is a scary person..! Don't do it...!"
"Ah... thank you for worrying about me."
"Don't just stand there—come down already..!"
"I still have things left to say."
"I'm serious..! Hurry..!!! Quick..!!!"
"Um, excuse me!"
The woman from next door came flying up the stairs, grabbed my arm, and dragged me down to the lower floor.
"Haa... Don't get involved with those people. Last time someone went up at night to complain... they got beaten..."
"And they didn't get arrested by the police?"
"If you report them, they come find you and take revenge..."
"Was that you, by any chance?"
"Huh??"
"The person who got hit."
"Ah, no!"
She flailed her hands in a panic. She was surprisingly talkative, though. Normally when I said hello she just dipped her head slightly and fled like she was running away, so I'd figured she was just shy.
"Ah... I only asked because you seemed to know the details so well."
"I went up to ask them to keep it down myself and happened to see it..."
"I see."
"Yes..."
"......"
"......"
Ah, this is awkward. How do I end this conversation? Just end it?
"If you've said everything you needed to, is it alright if I head inside now?"
"Ah.. yes! S-sorry.. because of me..."
"No. You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, thank you for worrying about me. Well then."
First time I'd seen that. Her bowing at the waist like that. She must really love those clothes, though.
The woman from next door vanished into her apartment in a flash, and I went into mine as well.
Thud-thud!! Thud-thud-thud!! Thud! Thud-thud!!
Into floor noise that seemed deliberately louder than before.
"Hold on."
I spun right around, opened the front door, and stepped out. Then I strode over—right to the door of 301 next door.
Ding-dong~ Ding-dong~
I pressed the doorbell and waited a moment. The front door opened just a crack—only half her face visible.
"W-what is it..?"
We'd just been talking, and now she was suddenly acting shy? What a strange person. Well, it didn't really matter what kind of person she was.
"I think I might have a way to solve the floor noise."
"R-really?? Ah...."
Startled, the woman wriggled out through the barely open door to try and shut it properly. She carefully stretched out a hand, grabbed the handle, and tried to close it—
Grab!
I caught the door before it could shut.
"W-why are you doing this..."
"Want to go to a hotel with me?"
"What...?"
"A hotel. Want to go?"
"Ho... tel....."
"Hey!!"
The woman from next door collapsed onto her filthy shoes like every muscle in her body had given out, and I hurriedly dropped to one knee in front of her. I figured I should check if she was okay.
But she looked like she was in pretty rough shape.
"Hotel.... hotel......"
"......"
No, why are you clutching that grimy T-shirt closed like that?!! What the hell is this woman thinking..!!
Current time: 1:12 a.m.
At my feet, peeled garlic cloves I'd bought at the supermarket were scattered everywhere. And in my hands, I held a mortar and pestle.
"Even a bear becomes human in a hundred days. A thug is still human, so it shouldn't take a hundred."
Alright. Let's begin.
Project: Turn a Thug into a Human.
Also known as: The Dangun Myth.
Day One.
Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang!!!!!
Garlic cloves being pulverized in the mortar flew in every direction. My face was already covered in garlic paste. And still, I was laughing. I couldn't hold back the laughter bursting out of me.
"Kwahahahahaha!!!!!"
I shoveled garlic in like a madman and slammed the pestle down without mercy. Pound, pound, pound, pound, and pound again.
And then I heard the sound of someone rapidly becoming human.
"Hey you son of a bitch!!! You gonna shut the fuck up?!!!"
The thug's voice, pouring through the open window with vivid, living energy, filled me with peace.
"Ah.... that feels good...."
Shall we keep going?
Bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang!!!!!