Chapter 79
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 79
“Let’s run away. I’ll take responsibility for everything.”
“If we run, won’t you lose the monthly income you get from the Admiralty?”
“Money comes and goes. What matters is that we’re together.”
“How did you become such a reckless romantic, my lady?”
As always, the dream was hazy, devoid of context. It seemed to exist only to faithfully reflect the desires that had conjured it.
In her half-conscious state, she felt a hand gently pull up the blanket that had slipped off her. Then, hesitant fingers lightly intertwined with hers. Lulled by the pleasant sensation, Vanessa sighed and tossed in her sleep before her eyes snapped open. A woman was kneeling at her feet.
“…Mary?”
Rubbing her tired eyes, Vanessa murmured, her voice thick with uncertainty. Just moments ago, she had been dreaming of River Ross in the garden, but now she was in her room at Gloucester Castle. Reality and dreams blurred together, clouding her judgment.
She waited for her mind to clear, but in that brief, lingering daze, Mary finished smoothing the rumpled blanket and stood up, her expression cold.
“Did you eat before falling asleep?”
“Yes… Just enough to take the edge off my hunger… I did.”
Vanessa yawned, covering her mouth as she sat up. A heavy lethargy washed over her whenever she leaned against something, making it impossible to stay alert. A cold, sticky sweat had broken out on her forehead.
“If you’re going to be like this, you should at least change into something more comfortable to sleep in.”
“Should I? I don’t know why I’ve been so incredibly sleepy lately. Maybe it’s the change of seasons…”
She fanned her flushed cheeks with her hand and walked to the window. A gentle breeze drifted through the open pane, carrying with it the hazy afternoon sunlight. Though it was a cool day, her body felt unusually warm.
Looking out at the garden, her thoughts naturally drifted to River Ross. Had he made it back to Linden safely? How was the business he needed to take care of going? And…
Who was the person he said he would introduce me to?
The mere thought made her heart swell foolishly. Perhaps it was the possibility that she had finally been allowed past the line he always drew, allowed into his future.
“Your clothes are ready, my lady.”
Vanessa stretched deeply and turned around. At that moment, a pale, shocked expression washed over Mary’s face as she stood quietly holding the clothes. Her expression was a mixture of disbelief and astonishment as she strode forward.
“What is it?”
Pulled by the hand, Vanessa found herself standing in front of the mirror before she knew what was happening. The maid’s face was so pale that even her freckles seemed to have lost their color. Mary’s gaze swept down Vanessa’s abdomen, waist, and hips before pausing abruptly on her chest. A sharp, fierce look entered her eyes, and a flush of color touched her lips.
“How long has it been?”
“How long has what…?”
“Since you missed your monthly flow. How long has it been?”
The color drained from Vanessa’s face. She forced her stiff, shocked lips to move.
“It’s only been a little over a week since I was due.”
“Then you’re at least five weeks along.”
“That’s impossible, Mary. It can’t be… You have to be mistaken.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“That’s…”
Vanessa lowered her voice, whispering hesitantly.
“He told me he couldn’t have children.”
“Your breasts are swollen. More so than usual.”
She bit her lip, speechless. The changes in her body were undeniable. Her increased sleepiness, her rising body temperature, and, just as Mary said, her swollen breasts. When they had made love, she had been far more sensitive to his touch than usual.
If what she had dismissed as a seasonal slump were actually signs of pregnancy…
Five weeks. If she really was pregnant, it must have happened around then. The day they had unexpectedly reunited after being apart for over ten days while she attended the hunting party at the House of Essex. The day he had returned to the garden, walking through the morning dew, and they had made love with such passion.
Seeing the realization dawn on Vanessa’s face, Mary pressed her lips together again before questioning her further.
“Does he know?”
“He… No, but before that, my cycle has always been irregular. You know that. It’s not even certain yet…”
“It was Mr. River Ross, wasn’t it? The man who left for Linden early this morning.”
Taking Vanessa’s silence as confirmation, Mary turned around resolutely.
“I’ll tell Gardener Ross. He’s probably in the greenhouse right now.”
“No! Don’t you dare!”
Vanessa quickly grabbed Mary’s wrist. Feeling her lady’s warm touch, Mary exhaled slowly. The maid’s shoulders heaved as she struggled to suppress a surge of emotion. She spun around and snapped.
“Why not? He needs to take responsibility for you, my lady. You must run away together, immediately, before the Count finds out.”
“And what happens after that? You know everyone in this castle will suffer. People are whipped for simply talking back. I can’t even imagine how cruel my uncle would be…”
“……”
“As long as you keep quiet, my uncle won’t know whose child it is. And I…”
The more she spoke, the more tangled her thoughts became. Though she had an intuitive feeling this wasn’t entirely bad, the shock was still undeniable. Pregnancy, and a scandal that could engulf all of high society. Vanessa continued speaking, almost out of habit.
“If I really am pregnant, I actually think it’s for the best.”
She wasn’t just saying it. Although having the Duke’s name entangled in this was a burden, being able to pile one scandal on top of another was a welcome turn of events.
Public attention was finite. High society churned out sensational rumors daily, and once a new piece of gossip emerged, the old ones were easily forgotten. Before, the scandal involving the Duke of Battenberg had been nothing more than a burdensome label that needlessly inflated her value.
But if her pregnancy were proven true, the implications would change entirely. Busybodies would start whispering that the child she carried belonged to the Duke. That misconception would serve as her strongest shield, if only for a time.
I feel sorry for His Grace, but until things are settled, I have to let the rumors run wild.
She would act as if she really were carrying the Duke’s child. At least until she could safely give birth and while the legal battle with her uncle was underway.
In the past, she wouldn’t have dared to dream of such a thing. But now, she had to use everything at her disposal. She had realized that her uncle—no, Wyatt—was a man who would gladly harm his own flesh and blood for personal gain.
Fortunately, Ingram was a nation that treated children and pregnant women with generosity.
‘I write. About the things I’ve experienced. Sometimes I use a pen name, but mostly I use the characters’ real names.’
Once she gave birth, no matter whose bed Wyatt tried to push her into, that one fact would brand her as an incomparably wicked woman.
Just as she had planned on the day she confidently proposed to “buy” River Ross. A pen, a woman, and a mother. She might be called the most terrible witch since the founding of Ingram—even more reviled than Lady Rowen.
The biggest problem was River Ross.
How would he react when he found out she was pregnant? Would he be happy? Or would he be flustered by this unplanned turn of events? Yes, he would be shocked. After all, he had told her he couldn’t have children.
But how on earth did this happen?
Had his body healed without him knowing? Had he been mistaken from the very beginning? Or perhaps it was a miracle from God. A miracle. Framed that way, the shock of the situation began to feel bearable.
She anxiously followed her train of thought, but in the end, she reached only one conclusion. Even if she gave birth, her relationship with River Ross had to be kept a strict secret. He was a commoner, and to make matters worse, he had ties to the Duke of Battenberg, who was already entangled in her scandal. Allowing no room for new rumors to spark was the best way to protect his future.
Mary seemed to sense Vanessa’s resolve. Staring at her lady with a somber, downcast expression, she murmured, “…Even now, you should find a way to rid yourself of the child.”
“I can’t do that.”
“This will be difficult.”
She knew. It was the way of the world she had been born into. Though illegitimate children were a dime a dozen in high society, it was extremely rare for an unmarried noblewoman to give birth. From now on, she would have to navigate everything alone. It would be hard to endure without extraordinary resolve. But that was precisely why.
It will be the driving force for me to live a life I won’t be ashamed of.
Giving birth and raising a child alone was nothing to be ashamed of. It was not a violation of morality, nor was it some terrible sin that would make her deceased parents weep in their graves.
Vanessa took a slow, calming breath. She was afraid, but nothing had changed. Her resolve to defy her uncle had been forged long ago; now, she just had one more reason she absolutely had to succeed.