The Supporter's Despair
What the hell is this?
Just a moment ago, I was showing off a decent, attack-oriented ability... but suddenly, I’m an All-in Supporter? Is this for real?
Stunned by a phenomenon I couldn't possibly believe, I could only stare blankly at the holographic window, my jaw hanging open.
"...."
"Excuse me?"
Metatron’s words, sharp enough to pierce my heart as always, struck my ears.
"This... this has to be a mistake! You can't just go back on it like this!"
".....I apologize."
Seeing her attitude shift from mocking to terrifying in an instant, I immediately lowered my head, sensing that something terrible was about to happen.
"...Th-then, what about my... abilities? You have to at least give me an ability..."
Ability... less? Damn it...
I mean, I’m heading to a battlefield with no attack power... and I’m "ability-less"? What is this nonsense!
Is this a situation where a soldier has to go to war without a gun, completely useless!?
What is this... some kind of Hacksaw Ridge?
Surviving on a battlefield without a weapon... and being told to just be a supporter? Does that even make sense!
Crushed by the bleak reality, I slumped to the floor and closed my eyes.
Unlike me, who had fallen into a state of despair, Metatron continued to berate me.
"...."
None of her words reached me anymore.
To think that the hope I felt because the Main God told me to trust him was just a hollow delusion...
I suppose... he did say that from this point (?) on, he couldn't know what would happen...
Ha...
I don't know if you can hear me...
Main God...
You made the wrong choice.
I’m screwed from the very start.
There is no hope...
I’m sorry...
I think I’m destined to die the moment I arrive at the battlefield.
A hero, my foot...
Is that what I should leave as my last words...?
............
"..."
"..."
Seriously, was I that wrong?
Can’t I even make a joke? Is it really so wrong that I deserve to be berated like this?
Phew...
What’s the point of grumbling here...
Fine... they say it’s better to take the beating first... Damn it, let’s go!
Hey! I’ve died once already! Can’t I die a second time?
No, who knows? Maybe there’s a way to survive after all?
Having finished organizing my thoughts, I placed my hands on the floor and stood up, feeling like whatever happens, happens.
I turned my head and looked at Metatron once more.
She flinched, and perhaps feeling flustered, she asked:
"The evaluation is over... and I have no abilities, so please send me off now. To that battlefield."
"Yes. Why are you flustered? The world is being unreasonable... I just have to accept it."
"Unreasonable. It means a situation where the reasons are absurd. Look at me. What can I do?"
"Exactly. I’ll just follow the flow. The Main God said even he didn't know what would happen... but I’ll go and struggle anyway."
"More than that... can you at least tell me what kind of war it is?"
"Who knows? Maybe I’ll survive through sheer, insane luck? Whether it’s a war between humans or a war between races, if there’s any possibility of surviving... I have to struggle. If I can hear even a little bit of information, I might be able to make a plan and increase my chances of survival by even 1%."
Metatron met my gaze and remained silent for a while, as if she had forgotten what to say.
"...Armageddon...?"
It came out. That race... that name...
The Celestials and the Demons, the staple subjects that appeared in the fantasy novels I used to enjoy... and their chaotic collaboration...
I, an ability-less person, am going into the center of that vortex?
Lol, Extra 1, cut from the page immediately!
I’m going into a battlefield where I’ll be killed as Extra 1 with 100% certainty. I had thought about surviving for a moment... but no way! A death sentence! She’s handing it down right now.
The more I let my thoughts flow, the more desperate I felt about the horrific reality that was about to become my future.
I know the horrific future... but I can't do anything about it...
"...Supporter..."
Who would understand my feelings, sighing even more at Metatron’s answer, which she probably meant as comfort?
Seeing her actions, which were pouring oil on the fire of my already intense anger, reminded me of the Akashic Records that had presented me with such an absurd evaluation window.
This damn thing... I can't take it.
I cursed the Akashic Records that Metatron had praised so much for being perfect.
"Even if I’m going, you should at least give me something before sending me off! You crazy Akashic Records! You have no conscience, no conscience at all!"
I did it.
As expected, her reaction was...
Tremble, tremble, tremble...
Metatron, her haze-like body, shook.
Ooh!
That’s... bust morphing...!
The haze that had been shaking and emitting from her body suddenly transformed into a spear shape about 5 meters long, floating in the air.
Oh... is that going to pierce my body?
Perhaps drawn by my aggro, she pointed at me with her right hand and spoke in a cold voice.
"Please send me off without pain."
"I want to live... but..."
"..."
It seemed Metatron wanted me to beg until my hands and feet were worn out, pleading to be saved in a pathetic way.
That was only natural because I had seen a glimmer of hope, however small!
Since our Metatron doesn't seem to understand the difference between having hope and not having it for a human, I suppose I should explain it to her.
I called out to her in a gentle tone.
"...Metatron-nim."
Our Metatron is seriously sulking, isn't she?
"You must have seen many humans, so you’d know more about humans than I do."
"Then, what do you think of me?"
"I was just curious how I appeared among the countless humans when seen by the representative of God."
"Because opportunities to ask the representative of God aren't common."
Oh. That’s sharp, isn't it?
Well... everyone else probably just buried their heads in the ground the moment they saw her... so I can understand that reaction, having only seen humans like that and then meeting someone like me.
I nodded at Metatron, who was giving me a scathing evaluation.
"That’s a cool and generous evaluation."
"No. Not yet."
As if she were willing to listen to more, she dismissed the holographic window on her left hand, lowered her right hand that had been pointing at me, and crossed her arms.
"Metatron-nim. You see, humans... when they learn their future fate... and when they learn that the end is death, they feel despair and helplessness. But... if there is something after that, or even just a chance to change that situation... humans can start with hope. For example, if I could expect a future where someone else could live even if I die, or if I could expect a future where something, big or small, could change because of my death. But what about me, who can’t see a single glimmer of hope?"
Ah... I’m suddenly getting annoyed just by saying it.
"It’s not like I want to go, I have no abilities, and the conclusion is already out: 'You’re going to die anyway. There’s nothing you can do.' So what else am I supposed to do? It’s not like it’s coming from another human; it’s coming from the representative of God who manages the world, so am I just supposed to let it slide and think, 'Ah, that won't be it,' and just move on?"
"If I’m thrown into the Celestial-Demon battlefield as I am now, I’ll die immediately. Because I’m just Extra 1, an ability-less human!"
"Honestly, I don't care if you send me off with nothing. But you should at least give me hope so I can envision a future... I’m in a situation where I have to go without even a motivation or hope to live... do you think I’d feel okay?"
Feeling my voice rising, I pictured myself complaining to an innocent administrator who had done nothing wrong.
"Phew... I’m sorry. I suddenly snapped... I had nowhere else to talk, so I got angry for a moment."
"...?"
Thinking back on the conversations we had since my evaluation came out, Metatron, she had indeed never told me, "You are going to die."
It was a misunderstanding that started entirely from my own assumption.
Rather, she had been guiding me to make the right judgments in a pessimistic situation.
"...Did I just misunderstand everything, beat the drum, and dance all by myself?"
Overcome with shame, I covered my face with both hands.
Damn it... so embarrassing...
This is why they say you should listen to what people have to say until the end...
Let’s apologize.
"...I’m sorry."
"But... can’t you just end it for me here? I’m begging you."
Her voice trembled, flustered by my request to end it all.