The Evaluation of a Scoundrel
Had it been an hour? It felt like it, sitting on the sand, staring blankly at the horizon.
Suddenly, the beam of light connected to my heart began to thicken.
"Crazy... what on earth are you doing inside my body?"
It had started as a thread of light no thicker than a strand of hair, but before I knew it, it had expanded to the size of a five-hundred-won coin. I lowered my head, staring at my chest with bated breath.
But the expansion stopped there.
It seemed to be over. Should I say the line now?
After a moment of hesitation, I timidly blurted out the classic line every protagonist in a boy's manga uses when they've supposedly finished off the villain.
"...Did I get him?"
Fwoosh!
No sooner had the words left my lips than a sonic boom erupted from my chest.
"That's what I'm talking about... the performance is legit!"
That line never fails to deliver. Truly a masterpiece.
I looked up at the sky and noticed a shimmering, heat-haze-like female figure curled up in the air.
"You've arrived..."
-...-
"Not yet?"
Metatron, having taken form, remained silent, her consciousness apparently still trapped elsewhere. I stood up, keeping my eyes locked on her, waiting for her to come to.
Twitch.
The heat haze flickered. Metatron’s curled-up body unfurled.
"Oh...!"
B36C W24 H36!!!!
Unlike that fleeting glimpse from before, I could now take it all in with perfect clarity.
"Ahem! Metatron, you've finally arrived..."
-Hey, Unconscious! You...! Huh? Why are you here? This place is... Ah~ you've finished and returned, haven't you.-
"Excuse me? I'm here, where else would I be...?"
-...-
"...?"
Watching her ramble to herself, I waited for her thoughts to settle. Once she seemed to have gathered her wits, she called out to me in a hushed, serious tone.
-Hey, I have a few things to ask you.-
"Go ahead. I'll answer whatever I can."
She descended from the air and approached me on the sand. She held out her left hand, palm facing the sky, and a hologram unfolded above it with a chime.
Wing—
"Whoa! Is this the legendary 'Status Window'?"
-Huh? How do you know about a Status Window?-
"Ah~ I come from a world where computer games are incredibly advanced! Of course I know!"
-Ho... So, in a world without this ability, you imitated it out of longing?-
"Is that how it connects? It's a world with a lot of imagination... it's even recorded in novels."
-Is that so? Anyway... this is your Position Aptitude Evaluation window.-
"Yes."
-From now on, the Akashic Records will evaluate and reflect your status based on my assessment.-
"Yes... wait? This isn't a status window. 'Position... Aptitude Evaluation'? What is this?"
-Ah~ the place you're going is a battlefield.-
"???"
-???-
Seeing my confused expression, she tilted her head, a string of question marks floating above her face as if she couldn't understand why I didn't get it.
"Suddenly... a battlefield?"
-Yes. You're being sent there... I guess I didn't tell you. You're the 13th Hero... No, I shouldn't have said that.-
"A hero? What are you talking about..."
-Forget what I just said~-
"..."
-Anyway, you'll be granted a position and abilities based on the Akashic Records' evaluation.-
Ah, she wants me to forget that... as if that's possible! She said I'm a hero! And that she's sending me to a battlefield! Finish the sentence, woman!
Ha...
As I stood there speechless, she continued.
-Before the evaluation is reflected, I want to ask you a few things.-
"...Go ahead."
Here it comes...
She hesitated for a moment, then asked the very question I had been dreading.
-...You really are a piece of trash, aren't you?-
"...Is that a confirmation of my execution?"
-Hmm, so you admit you're trash...-
If I just sat there, I’d be branded as trash without a single excuse, and my evaluation would go down the drain. A sudden spark of inspiration hit me, and I offered an excuse—or something like one.
"Phew... well... it's true that I acted like trash for that one year. But listen."
-Go on.-
"..."
I paused, then gave a self-deprecating laugh.
"Heh... I think it's a bit harsh to judge me based on just one year... I don't know why you're targeting me by focusing solely on that year. My opinions were ignored, and all the good things I did were omitted... What can a mere human like me do when a god tries to hide the truth? I just have to accept it. It must be my karma. But I'm not sure if it's fair to say I'm 'trash'."
-...I'll take that into account.-
She raised her right hand and began writing something in the air.
"Wow... to be able to leave a record in thin air... it's a new world."
-Why? Is it your first time seeing a record made like this?-
"Of course. Back home, you needed a medium to record anything."
-I see. All done!-
She waved her hand, and the embroidered letters crumbled and vanished.
"Hm? Is the record finished?"
-Yes.-
"Wow... writing and sending with just a gesture... truly the realm of a god!"
-Ahahahaha! That's right! I'm practically a god here~ Keep praising me!-
I laid on the flattery I’d honed in the military to get on her good side. After enjoying it for a while, she suddenly dropped the smile and asked in a serious tone.
-But tell me... why did you do it?-
"Yes? Which part... Ah, if you mean the bad behavior during that year..."
She cut me off, having hit the nail on the head.
-Yes. You could have changed things. But you didn't.-
"...That's not easy. The situation you saw must have been in the military... right? That... place with the terrible environment?"
-Uh... yes! There were several humans staying in a tent that looked like it was about to collapse because the fabric was all torn...-
"Hm... you saw it correctly. I don't know how much or what perspective you saw, but the military is a unique organization. By the time you finish your term, you reach the position of the 'best leader' (?). You could call it a bit of a reward mentality. You get compensated for all the suffering in a short amount of time. Well, you take on the responsibility that comes with it."
-Oh? Responsibility? But... you seemed to just make others do the work and avoid it yourself?-
"Excuse me?"
Wait. Did she see that too? That skill every sergeant naturally masters... the 'hide from the supply sergeant' technique...?
-Don't try to deceive me.-
"...I have no intention of doing so. It is, after all, a skill I mastered."
-Right... remember that. And 'reward'? You think those actions were a way to be compensated for your suffering?-
It seemed she judged my military behavior as 'unjust'.
"Yes. Since that's what everyone else did before me... I just accepted it and did the same without question. It was just so convenient... Well... if what I did was a sin and I have to pay for it... I'll accept it. So, is my evaluation over?"
I calmly accepted her criticism and asked for the verdict.
-Phew... wait a moment.-
She looked up at the sky. I followed her gaze, but all I saw were a few clouds drifting in the clear blue—nothing else.
Ten seconds passed as we both stared at the sky.
Suddenly, she looked at me, clearly irritated.
-Ah, this is annoying! I clearly saw the wrongdoings... but because everyone around him took it for granted, they're saying it's not wrong at all??? Does that make any sense? What exactly are you?-
I had no idea why she was so stressed or angry. I mean, what did I do wrong? But one thing was clear: I finally had a chance to counter-attack.
It was time to push again. Now's the time!
Swallowing my frustration, I smiled shamelessly.
"Metatron... the military is just like that. Look. You submitted the report, didn't you? And the evaluation isn't bad, is it? That just means I lived a good life."
-Bullsh*t-
"Excuse me? Did you just... curse?"
-Yes.-
"My goodness..."
Ah, she didn't fall for it. I wanted to squeeze a bit more out of the evaluation... it's not easy.
-Hmph... how dare you try to get a free ride?-
"Oh, a free ride? No way!"
-Do you want to die?-
"...No..."
Just then, the hologram on her left hand began to react.
"The big one is coming... let's spin it, let's spin the happiness circuit!"
-Ha... holding onto false hope.-
"Hey~ don't you know it's not over until it's over?"
-Bullsh*t-
Seeing me spin my 'happiness circuit', she couldn't hold back the venom.
Whirrr—
The hologram flickered, and the evaluation window changed. Our reactions were completely opposite.
"Ohhhhhhh!"
-This is a scam! How does this make any sense!-
The hologram reflected a much more generous score than I expected. In my favor, too. Hehehehe!
Time to tease her!
"See! Isn't the Akashic Record making a fair assessment! Do you believe me now? Hehehe."
-Ah... I'm so pissed. That shouldn't be possible!-
"It's not that it shouldn't be possible!"
-No. Something is wrong here.-
"Hey... just accept it now..."
Twinkle—
Before I could finish, the hologram flickered again, and the evaluation window shifted.
"Uh...?"
-Uh...?-
Twinkle, twinkle—
"Wh... what is this?"
-What... is this?-
An unrecognizable evaluation window—no, one that had broken past the 'Supporter' category—was now visible to both her and me.