Stepping Back from the Throne
"Why do you always try to step back, Your Highness?"
"You are the daughter of the Empress. The legitimacy and bloodline are yours. You must fight."
A calm, sinking feeling washed over her. Yeah, why did I do that back then? The world doesn't run on good intentions alone.
There was a saying that if a woman ascended to the throne, the nation would fall. The one who best proved this was, of course, Wu Zhao—Empress Wu Zetian.
...Well, what kind of causal link was that supposed to be? Still, the reality was that most people accepted it as established fact.
The princess is too clever.
Even without her expressing any ambitions, everyone feared her. Envied her. Checked her.
After her mother passed away, in those fragile childhood days, everything had terrified her.
—Facing people with twisted dispositions, those who couldn't draw lines, and the reactions they would have.
"What will be left at the end of the fight?"
Hyejin voiced her inner thoughts, meeting their eyes one by one as she continued.
"The nation is in hardship. Barbarians rage outside, and there are far too many starving people. If we squabble over such a petty succession and the palace shakes, the ones who suffer first are the common folk's lives."
She appealed to the greater good.
"If I moved out of selfish desire to elevate my position, the country would split in two, and all of them would be in danger. I don't want that."
But everyone knew there was an underlying intent to escape reality. The onlookers, who had nodded quietly, withdrew from their seats.
To keep her words, Hyejin gradually shrank her own territory, one piece at a time.
She skipped banquets and deliberately distanced herself from matters where her name might come up.
Perhaps because of that, the people around her kept dwindling. In the end, the only one who stayed by her side was a single maidservant.
It felt a bit lonely, but those memories weren't bad.
"Princess! The chrysanthemums are blooming so beautifully. I thought you'd like them, so I picked a big bunch."
Pretty, right? Hehe. The girl had laughed in front of her. Why had she kept that girl around? Now, she couldn't even properly recall the reason.
She only remembered that the girl's bright laughter, which always cheered up those around her, resembled her late mother's.
Some might call her lowly origins vulgar, but that child was her greatest confidante—someone Hyejin shyly considered a true friend in her heart.
"Yeah, they're pretty."
The fragrance from the golden petals lifted her spirits. Even now, those memories remained vivid.
One day, she acted on a sudden impulse.
"I want to see what life is like for the people outside—no, for you. With my own eyes, at least once."
The maidservant's eyes went wide at her words.
"I-it's dangerous! O-outside is d-dirty and smelly and not a place for Your Highness to step into!"
The maidservant panicked and tried to dissuade her, but Hyejin just giggled.
"...P-Princess."
"Nah, I'm just going my way, so don't worry about me!"
She followed behind the maidservant, who was stepping out briefly for some errand.
Having secretly stashed away the clothes the maids wore, she changed into them, hid her identity, and tricked the gatekeeper with practiced ease.
The maidservant's face drained of color for a moment, but she soon slapped her own cheeks and steeled herself.
"Ugh, Princess. It's dangerous outside, so stick real close behind me, okay?"
"Places where people live are all the same, aren't they?"
"...You're too optimistic."
The capital had soldiers patrolling daily, so security wasn't an issue, but 'what if' always loomed. She resolved to stay sharp.
For the princess, who stepped into the outside world for the first time trailing behind her maidservant, everything felt novel. Not repulsive, just new.
It was like learning about the unknown. Experiences books couldn't teach: how people lived, something genuine, freedom. The maidservant scurried after her as she darted here and there, but Hyejin was too exhilarated to notice her efforts.
Plip, plop.
"Ah, rain."
"Eek! Princess, over here, quick! Your precious body can't get wet!"
As rain poured down, Hyejin was dragged by the hand to shelter under the eaves of an unfamiliar house.
Etching these new experiences into her mind, she wandered aimlessly. Then...
Squeak, squeak.
A strange creature's whimper reached her ears.
Curious, she peeked out. Between discarded wooden planks, a fat, round furball trembled alone.
"Why is this one stuck between the wood scraps all by itself?"
"Well, you see..."
The story she heard was quite cruel—from the creature's perspective, not humanity's.
"Among noble houses, fads come and go quickly. Until recently, raising handsome, majestic dogs was trendy, but now the young ladies are all about cats."
"What does a fad change have to do with this poor thing's plight?"
"...They just discard it once it's out of fashion."
"Heh."
Whether beast or otherwise, taking one in meant bearing responsibility—yet here it was.
She sighed and pondered on the spot. What to do?
Woof! Pant, pant.
"Cute little guy."
Even as she thought, her hands busily stroked the scruffy yellow furball.
"Wanna come with me?"
Woof!
Oddly, the yellow furball responded at just the right moment, as if understanding her words. Hyejin loved it.
"Then from now on, your name is Yellowy."
Woof!
—Her mind, pitch black, skipped forward in time like leaping through voids, shifting scenes.
"You don't think just inheriting imperial blood makes you equals, do you?"
Authority required backing and ability to support it.
"Even thinking of taking something that doesn't suit you is arrogance enough, wench."
What did I take? I gave it all away.
That was why such crude insults sparked her instinctive rebellion.
You're the ones saying it with your own mouths. Only those without a shred of conscience could speak so boldly.
Her naivety lay in not realizing the world didn't run on good thoughts or personal brilliance alone.
"This is our final mercy. Be grateful we let you keep what we were going to sell abroad. Cross the line again, and everything really falls apart."
I get it. I know.
—Please, just leave this place already.
Her trembling hands could only endure the powerless passage of time.
Only when that loathsome group turned away did Hyejin, princessly status be damned, kneel in the dirt, soiling her silk robes and stockings, and cradle her precious ones.
"P-Princess, I-I'm s-sorry..."
"No. You did nothing wrong."
If anyone was at fault, it was her for being so powerless beside her.
That truth cut deepest. Soon, the child bleeding from the mouth lost consciousness, head lolling to the side.
"Soya!"
Gasp, gasp. Her breath quickened. Grrr. And then, "Rowr!"
A small life growling in fury on her behalf.
"Y-Yellowy!"
No, Yellowy. It might feel good now, but if you do that, I might not protect you. If you vanish after Soya, I...
"Aaaah! Help!"
Grrr, snap!
Yellowy lunged at the eunuch preying on the nation, pinning him down. Soldiers rushed in belatedly.
"Lord Wei Gong!"
For a gelded wretch, what was so precious? Yellowy bit fiercely at his vital spot.
"Gaaah!"
"...Y-Yellowy."
Yellowy. That scruffy, dull-yellow-furred kid had been so cute, but before she knew it, he'd grown enough to protect her—fulfilling his role. Even Soya's share.
"You damn mutt!"
Yelp!
The dull-yellow fur was swiftly subdued, soaked in red fluids. Thud, crunch! Bludgeoned repeatedly until bones protruded.
......
"—No!"
Gasp, gasp. Soaked in cold sweat, she bolted awake, panting.
The dim office, lit by a small oil lamp.
The oil hadn't burned low, so she'd only dozed off for a moment.
Just a dream, after all. Sighing to shake off the unease, she craved fresh air.
She quickly stripped her sweat-soaked undergarments, changed into spares, and stepped out, opening the office door.
Cool air hit her face, easing the bad mood.
"Cannon Corps Commander, thank you for your hard work tonight as well."
Officials on night duty spotted her wandering and greeted her despite their tasks—no anomalies, all diligent.
Thanks to their efforts, the nation stood safe today. As one above, she was truly grateful.
Passing them, her patrol naturally led her eyes to a small building.
Outside the office walls in the outer courtyard, it had been a storage shed for unused goods. She'd luckily assigned it as lodging to Yujin, the man she'd recently recruited.
On this impromptu walk-turned-patrol, her feet turned toward it.
This guy's not sneaking off in the night, is he? Gotta keep tabs. A small smile tugged her lips.
"... ... ."
"Hm?"
A familiar sound reached her ears.
Someone mumbling. As she neared his lodging, it grew clearer—definitely his voice.
Talking in his sleep? Maybe something funny or embarrassing.
How can I eavesdrop and tease him later? Ears perked, Hyejin listened intently.
"...Why'd you do that? I tried so hard,"
Her expression froze.
"It hurts."
Hearing that, Hyejin quietly opened the door and entered.
Sorry to invade privacy, but... um.
Yeah, he's the talent I recruited. If he's hurting somewhere, it's natural to care as his superior.
Moonlight through the window cracks lit his face. Forgetting her purpose, other thoughts surfaced.
...He really does resemble him, somehow.
Why did looking at this guy remind her of Yellowy? She knew comparing a man to a dog was rude.
But she couldn't stop the association.
Whining from nightmares—just like him. Stubby build, scruffy look. Why remind me?
Sighing, she lightly pinched his sleeping cheek.
...Sorry. And thank you.
Words she couldn't say to those kids. Yet her gaze lingered on Yujin.
He looks so worn out.
She wiped his cold sweat with a handkerchief from her bosom, then called for a damp cloth.
Like this?
Never done it before. Just drape it on the face?
Unfamiliar with such care, Hyejin plopped the damp cloth right over Yujin's face.
"Mmph, ugh."
Uh oh, not like that?
"P-Princess?"
Wi Eokgi, trailing her, noticed the blunder and rushed over—averting what might've been a midnight assassination attempt(?) on an innocent man.
"Ah, so that's how."
Only then did she heed Wi Eokgi's advice to fold it in half and place it just on the forehead.
Yujin's face finally relaxed. Watching, Hyejin said proudly,
"You know you're lucky, right? Reminds me of Yellowy, that's why. I don't do this for just anyone."
Does he get it? If he did, he'd be grateful—but this guy? Doubt it. Sigh.
After watching a bit longer, she rose and returned to her office.
......
...And, early next morning.
"Wh-what? Did I forget to lock the door?"
He recalled feeling off yesterday. Must've slipped his mind.
More startling was the damp cloth by his bedside. Startled, Yujin panicked. Later, the inspector captain explained the Cannon Corps Commander had placed it there before leaving.
'See how much she thinks of you and cares? You should be grateful.'
Wi Eokgi's well-meaning advice. But to the recipient,
'She was watching me even in my sleep?'
Yujin shuddered involuntarily.