EP.99 Level 9 - Ung, Complete Empathy (13)
I've wanted to help others ever since I was little. It wasn't some grand heroic spirit or anything. I just thought everyone around me sparkled—everyone except me. If I could do even a little to protect that sparkle, it felt like I could get a bit closer to that light, even in my own dim darkness.
That's why I tried to help as many people as possible. So when I first awakened as a hunter, I was thrilled. Hunters on the front lines protecting people—they sparkle no matter who looks at them.
Objectively speaking, I had become someone who radiated intense light. "Eunha, at your level, you don't need to worry about what anyone thinks. Who's gonna say shit? Sure, if you'd done something as controversial as me, maybe, but you haven't."
"...It just feels like I'd be picking on them for no reason. The stronger you are, the more careful you have to be."
"Sigh, who can stop you?"
But to me, I didn't sparkle at all. In the mirror, I saw a monster that had forcibly absorbed others' light to bulk itself up. It dazzled from the outside, but inside, it was just a ragged golem patched together from stolen glow.
I wasn't a good or beautiful person. I was a parasite living off others' light. A greedy wretch thrashing to possess what I could never have. Protecting someone was just my ugliness coveting their shine.
No matter how hard I tried to become beautiful, I couldn't. A monster like me could never be beautiful.
I thought weaving myself into that light would make me shine too, but I was still spewing out nothing but ugly, murky glow. The people calling me out—they knew exactly what I was. They weren't ordinary either; they shone beautifully. I even coveted their light, so I tried to protect them.
"No, Eunha, don't look."
"What's wrong?"
"Please, Eunha. Don't open the internet. No internet for a while."
Even my closest teammates, who spent the most time with me, cursed me out online, saying I was prettier. But I was the dirty one. Still, I couldn't show them this ugly side of me—I was afraid their lights would all run away.
"If I just take all the blame, it'll all be over. That's the way the most people can be happy."
So I decided to give up this time. Return to where I belonged. I'd started this to protect others' light, but I was ruining it instead. Time to ditch my greed, stay away from the sparkling lights, and live alone.
"Ah... hng...."
But I was already made of their light. Bearing it all alone was brutally hard. I'd thought stealing their light made me strong, but I was still just as fragile.
My wrong choices so far. The greed I'd wielded so ugly—they crushed me now. It hurt. This belated punishment hurt like hell.
"Wha—what?"
"Stop moping and come on. You need a wash first."
That's when a single light came to me, holed up in my room. Our first meeting started with a misunderstanding. But I knew he was someone who shone intensely. Another fake light I'd conjured was deceiving and tormenting others.
I tried to run, but his ability stopped me. Then he started treating me like a child, making me feel at ease.
"That was the right choice, so don't regret it."
"...Pardon?"
"Ah, it's obvious. You regretted not blocking that attack, right? No need."
"......."
But... I could have blocked it. I was just scared I'd break under the pain—afraid of my own fragility. It was bearable.
He seemed to know I thought that, stroking me and saying it was fine. It felt like he could peer into my mind. Weird feeling. I should be ashamed, stripped bare like that. But his kindness, unchanged even seeing my ugly insides—his light was so beautiful. I felt like I'd melt into it.
"You can speak up."
"......."
"It's okay to spit it all out. That it hurts."
The alcohol spread through me. He kept wrapping me up, urging me to bare my soul. Like he knew I wouldn't without this effort. Every action screamed he knew exactly what kind of person I was, crumbling the walls I'd built.
But he's kind. If I said it hurt, he'd empathize like others—and my ugliness would tarnish his light. I couldn't do that.
"It's fine, Miss Eunha. You can let it out with me."
"...Pardon?"
"You're screaming it in your head over and over. That it hurts, that it's torment. Just say it out loud."
But with him, it was useless. He already knew my heart, tempting me that speaking wouldn't change much. His light was so vast and beautiful—it wouldn't crumble with someone like me beside it.
"Why... why go this far?"
"Because I like you."
Even seeing my ugly nature, tossing out "I like you." It was something I'd never imagined. So beautiful it could shatter me. Instead, I was falling for him.
"Haa♡ Haa♡"
The physical pleasure he'd forced on me surged. It kept crumbling the love I'd suppressed. No, snap out of it, Seo Eunha. You're not worthy of someone so beautiful.
"You said it yourself—you're not a good person. So become that. Blame others and grab a little happiness."
He could run if he knew my ugliness. Why love someone like me? My ugliness was pure greed—even begged like this, I clung to it stubbornly.
"This whole mess is your fault anyway, you selfish bitch."
"Wha...?"
"For your happiness. To abandon everyone and drown in pleasure—that's what you're thinking."
"Th-that's not...!"
It was spot on. I'd ignored everyone else just to see the light I wanted. For my greed. That was my ugly nature, and he was rebuking me. This pleasure just made my feelings clearer.
Even after his efforts to change me, I hadn't. Still greedy as ever. Still throwing a tantrum.
"See? You're so happy. That's the ending I chose for you. I want you happy, and those trash to fuck off."
My lights would break because of me, he said angrily—this was greed's end. All while dosing pleasure so I wouldn't suffer. His shine hurt my eyes like the sun.
"Kuhk...!"
To protect that solar light. For the first time, I tried emptying all my greed. Or really, bewitched by that sun-like glow. Coveting what I couldn't have again. I wanted him.
Imagining how the asshole who left hate comments on Seo Eunha would react. I slowly raised my finger to the doorbell.
And as I pressed it hard...
"Eu, Eunhyuk-ssi!"
Smack! A burning sensation flung my arm away from the doorbell. Seo Eunha shoved me aside, blocking it so I couldn't press.
No trace of pleasure lingered on her body.
"I don't hate you. And for your happiness, I won't hate myself either. So please, stop."
I don't hate myself. I don't hate myself. I don't hate myself. I don't hate myself.
She gripped her mind like self-brainwashing. Someone who'd always taken self-loathing for granted was fighting it. Not submitting to pleasure. Overcoming even that to stop me.
"Haa, really... You could do it, Miss Eunha. You don't have to hate yourself."
"I..."
"Forget all that earlier. Let's go home."
Now she wanted to back out after I'd set it all up? Kinda disappointing... but she'd fought this hard and won. Not that disappointing to push anyway.
"I'll release all the traits too. No self-blame, okay?"
"Thank you..."
"For what? You proved you didn't want it. That's why I stopped."
"Not that..."
She hesitated, like wondering if she should say it. Getting impatient, I almost reactivated Ung, Complete Empathy. But she spoke first.
"Thank you for liking someone as dull and twisted as me. For trying this hard for that me."
"...Not just me. Your teammates probably feel the same."
"Maybe. Could be I was scaring myself all along."
She smiled brightly for the first time. So dazzlingly beautiful, I stared blankly.
"So you have to take responsibility."
"Pardon?"
"I was gonna ditch all greed, but you made me greedier."
"...What greed?"
Did she even have greed left? If she was ditching it, maybe just living normally was "greed" to her? This woman was terminally ill.
"I fell for someone as beautiful as you."
"...Pardon?"
"I love you. I know it's selfish, that trash like me doesn't suit you—so it's pure greed. But I want to be greedy. I want to have you."
"Uh..."
"So take responsibility. Hold me."
Such out-of-nowhere confession, my head spun. Seo Eunha inched closer, then pressed her lips to mine. Rose scent flooded my head dizzily. Her clumsy, soft kiss pierced my heart fiercely.