Do You Have a Pussy? Or a Dick?
After a thoroughly chaotic morning, I arrived at Dongmyo Market with my senior and clicked my tongue at the throngs of people visible through the car window.
"Is it because it's the weekend? Feels like forever since I've been here, and the place looks ready to burst at the seams."
"What do you mean 'forever'? For a hunter, this is the kind of place you come and go from like a rat through a hole in a rice bag."
"Well, yeah. If I weren't just D-class."
"Ah, right. Our Seung-yong—whatever you earn probably all goes straight to living expenses and potion costs, huh?"
Even if it was the largest hunter equipment specialty market in Korea, you still needed money to shop there. I stared steadily at Senior Arang as she snickered and teased me.
"Yeah, well, some trash-pussy senior somewhere kept breaking my bones on the regular, so potion bills and hospital fees ate up a lot. If it weren't for that, I might've come a few more times."
"There's a bitch like that?"
"Right? And get this—her pussy's that pathetic, but she goes on about how her eggs are superior to my sperm so there's no chance of conception… though I hear she's taking the morning-after pill today."
"Ahem. Never thought there'd be a girl so whipped by our Seung-yong's trash dick."
"The funny part is, even after all that, she still says she's not my personal pussy."
"Y-you just wait…!!"
Man, this was fun. Watching Senior's ears turn red, I laughed under my breath and scanned the area outside the window, searching for Silla.
"She said she'd be waiting at a café near here… where the hell is this kkanf—ah! There she is!"
"Where, where? Over there? That crowd? Huh? Why's she stuffing her face with brunch?"
In the middle of Dongmyo Market packed wall-to-wall with people, at a café where the crowd was especially thick, I spotted Silla elegantly enjoying brunch—wearing that same high-exposure outfit of a black bikini swimsuit topped with a cowboy-style jacket, poncho, and chaps.
An elf—already a rare sight even in the hunter industry—and one whose beauty could put a nation-toppling beauty to shame if she just kept her mouth shut, sitting there in that outrageously bold outfit enjoying apple pie and coffee. I hated to admit it, but it was practically a painting.
"I'll get out here. Thanks for the ri—Senior Arang?"
Just as I was about to thank Senior Arang and climb out of the car, she scrunched her face toward Silla and yanked hard on my clothes, as if telling me not to get out yet.
"Look at that bitch's outfit. She's a full-on exhibitionist slut."
"Huh?"
At Senior's words, I rubbed my eyes and looked at Silla again, wondering if I'd missed something.
"Nothing's really different? That's the outfit she always wears in the field."
"She ran around the field dressed like that trashy thing?!"
"…?"
What's with Senior all of a sudden? More importantly—was she really the one to say that? I glanced at the compression bandages wrapping her massive tits and the leather jacket she'd tossed carelessly into the back seat.
"Honestly, for Senior Arang to call anyone a slut…"
"Seung-yong."
"Yes, Seung-yong here."
"What has this senior been telling you about women all morning?"
"That women are all beasts. Beasts in heat who only think about devouring dick."
"Exactly! They're all beasts! And knowing that, you look at that and don't notice anything weird?!"
Had beast ears sprouted on top of Silla's head or something? I tilted my head and looked at her again. But no matter how many times I looked, nothing was different.
"…What? She looks the same to me?"
"That kkanf bitch is dying to devour you today! You mean only I can see that?!!"
"Come on, Senior, you're overreacting."
Her? That masochist? I snorted and tried to calm Senior Arang down, but she pounded her massive tits with her fists like she was going out of her mind.
"Ugh, so frustrating! Do you have a pussy? Or a dick?"
"A dick."
"Right! A pussy-girl's heart is best understood by another girl with a pussy! That bitch over there—on the outside she's posting photos on Outsta like 'A leisurely cup of coffee at Dongmyo Market…' but inside, all she's thinking is how to swallow your dick whole with her pussy today!"
"Huk…?!"
Figuring this would never end otherwise, I reacted with fake shock—but Senior Arang glared at me like she didn't care for that either and grabbed me by the collar.
"So be careful. Don't just follow her because she offers you candy. And if things start looking dangerous, call me. Got it?"
"Got it."
She'd told me not to even dream of two-timing just because we'd slept together. Yet here she was, all that tough-girl act gone without a trace, fretting over whether something might happen to me. It made me smile.
"Don't laugh! Anyway, if anything seems fishy, you fuck her first! And that's not just for that kkanf bitch. Any girl who approaches you—no matter how beastly the methods, thoroughly train them into your personal pussy! Your heaven-like senior here gives you permission!"
"Huh?"
After just telling me women were all beasts and to be careful, this was a pretty unexpected statement. My eyes went wide. I was surprised by the implication that other women would be drawn to me—but even more so by Senior saying it was fine to add more women. I barely managed to settle my dazed mind and answered.
"I don't know if any women will even approach me… but okay. I'll keep it in mind."
After nodding several times and saying I understood, Senior Arang finally seemed a bit relieved and slowly loosened her grip on my collar.
"Good answer. Ah! And one last thing!!"
"Huh? There's still more—mmph?!"
Just as I was about to get out of the car, Senior suddenly yanked my collar hard again. And then everything in front of my eyes filled with Senior Arang—
Chuuuk-♡
A soft, plump sensation pressed gently against my lips, and a pink tongue slipped stickily into my mouth. Dazed as I was, I closed my eyes just like Senior Arang, and we exchanged saliva with wet gulping sounds.
Apparently satisfied with that, Senior Arang pulled away again, seductively licking the glistening saliva from the corner of her lips, and smiled at my blank face.
"Yeah, remember that well. No matter where you are, no matter whose pussy you're fucking, engrave it on these lips and in this head whose you are."
"Even if your lips are lewd, you should say it right. Senior is mine. You lost to me."
"Hey! Don't count losing in bed! And I win during the day! So during the day, you're mine!"
"Ah, so at night, Senior is mine? Got it. You should head home and rest too, Senior."
"You little shit… y-you just wait?! Someday I'll shut you up with my pussy and put you under my ass day or night—!!"
Thud-!!
What was this senior saying in a place full of people. I shut the door so her voice wouldn't leak out any further, grabbed my greatsword from the trunk, and headed straight for Silla.
"Um, uh, that… you're so my type, but…"
"That will not do. This maiden has told you several times that she has a companion, has she not?"
"But still… huk?!"
Tsk tsk…
Look at that pitiful soul. That kkanf knew full well how pretty she was, and she was enjoying and mocking the guy who'd become a stuttering mess, overwhelmed by her beauty. And that fool, completely failing to notice the kkanf's true nature, just blinded by her looks, grinning ear to ear whether she mocked him or not.
I wonder if he'd still worship her like that if he knew this elf is a pervert who soaks her own pussy while sucking my dick.
Clicking my tongue, I pushed through the Wall Maria that had formed around Silla, feeling like a giant among them.
"Excuse me. Coming through."
"Ooh, a new challenger appears."
"Huh?"
Thinking I'd come to get Silla's number like the other humans, the men parted like Moses's miracle, opening a path toward her with oohs and aahs.
"You there, step aside."
"N-no… wh-who are you?!"
"Come on… I said step aside."
Clicking my tongue again, I strode right up to Silla and shoved the guy still clinging stubbornly to her side far away.
"Hey, I'm here. Let's go."
"Is this the tough-guy concept this time? It will not work. I have been waiting for my companion since earlier. I have no intention of giving out numbers, so please be on your way."
"Oh boy, oh boy. Here we go."
She was completely drunk on being treated like a goddess by the surrounding men. Convinced talking wouldn't work, I reached out toward the kkanf who was so high on goddess-juice she hadn't even noticed I'd arrived.
"Can you not hear me? I have no intention of drinking coffee with a barbarian like you, nor of giving you my numbe—kya, kyaaaaaaah?!"
I grabbed those outrageously massive tits, and a piercing scream tore out of Silla.