Call Me Master

At first Silla just sat there blinking those wide, startled eyes, as if she couldn't possibly have heard me right. Then, in a trembling voice, she asked,

"S-so… you want me to… t-take that… that useless, inferior human's semen… into my body?"

"That's right~. Doesn't matter where you take it, but at least once every three days, no exceptions — you have to hold that young man's seed inside you~."

"Y-you're insane! Stop talking nonsense! Enough of this crap— ah, I'm sorry, I was just so shocked I—?!"

"Tsk tsk tsk. You begged me to save your life, so I went out of my way to tell you how… and still, it seems you're destined for a short one~."

"No, why?! Why does it have to be semen?!"

I'd figured she was scared enough that a little vague mumbling would do the trick. But leave it to a Kkanf — she just had to dig in her heels and argue. The shouting even seemed to take the edge off her terror; now she was looking at me like, Is this guy even really a Grim Reaper?

Ah, shit. What do I even say? Fine — just spit out something that sounds profound!

Maybe the slight bump to my Intelligence stat was helping, because my brain spun up a half-decent line pretty fast. I clicked my tongue at her.

"Foolish~. Foolish~. How foolish~. How can an elf — the first of the gods' creations — be this ignorant~?"

"What did you just say?! Did you just finish talking?! And you aren't even wearing a black robe or a gat. Now that I look closer, there's more than one or two things suspicious about you! You—"

"Semen has been revered since ancient times, East and West, as the origin of all things and a gift from the gods~. Because of ejaculation, all things were born~. Because of semen, life flourished upon this earth~. As a substance that holds the power to create life, tremendous vitality sleeps within it~."

"Uh…?"

Even as the words left my mouth, I had no idea what I was saying. But against all expectations, Silla was nodding along.

The same Silla who'd been glaring at me with pure suspicion a second ago was suddenly perking up those elf ears, nodding as if my nonsense actually made sense.

"C-certainly… I have heard that in the creation myth of Sumerian civilization, the Tigris and Euphrates rivers were formed from the semen of Enki, the god of water, and that Mesopotamian civilization began there."

"Huh? Y-yes, exactly~. And far to the west, Egyptian civilization claims that everything began from the semen of the creator god himself~."

"You're… surprisingly well-read. In that case, the instruction to take in semen is somewhat understandable — but why does it have to be that man?!"

Was she so smart that even my absolute garbage of an argument landed perfectly?

I was just starting to relax, thinking I'd gotten away with it, when Silla demanded more creativity from me. Fortunately, I'd already thought this part through. I shrugged at her.

"Obviously because it must be the seed of the young man you tormented and mocked so thoroughly — only then can you properly report to the Lord of the Northern Dipper that you are truly repenting~. In modern society, they call this 'appealing'~."

"Kh… Why did he have to catch my eye of all people!"

"Take it to heart~. Once every three days, without fail, you must hold that young man's essence inside your body— what is it now~?"

"No… the more I think about it, the stranger it seems. Are you truly a Grim Reaper? As I said earlier, your appearance and mannerisms are far too different from any Grim Reaper I know. You're not a Grim Reaper at all, are you? Did that human put you up to this…!!"

"Ahem! Doubting me again, are you~!"

What now?

Rape? No — unlike Senior Arang, this Kkanf isn't the type to just roll with something like that.

I needed something. Something that would prove to this Kkanf that I was a transcendent being.

But all I had was this invulnerable avatar I could strut around in. Was there any other way?

Ah!

There was one. A gamble, sure — but at least it had a chance of getting me out of this.

Please! Just give me one good pull!!

I dumped every last one of the thirty-six Assistant Points I'd earned tutoring Senior Arang in class straight into the gacha.

Oh, for fuck's sake…

A violently aggressive tidal wave of bubble gum and Baekdu Samdasoo filled my vision. A few halfway-decent items like Saint's Holy Water popped up in the middle of the spam, but none of them were suited to getting me out of this mess right now.

Should I just use a Bust-Up Pill? She'd get suspicious if I handed it to her, but if it was that… wait—?!

And then, as if the heavens had finally heard my desperate prayer, one item that looked perfect for this situation flashed out from between the rapidly appearing and vanishing messages.

So nobody but me can peel it off, huh?

And Silla just so happened to be wearing a high-exposure cowgirl outfit that left her midriff completely bare. I pulled the sticker out right in front of her face and spoke.

"Why aren't you answering? This is looking more and more suspicious. You, are you really a Grim Rea— w-what is that?"

"It seems I have no choice~. I had hoped never to show you this, but you brought it upon yourself — so do not blame me~."

"What is that?! That thing looks blatantly lewd— w-wait, wha—?!"

I shrugged one more time and brought the sticker straight toward Silla's lower belly. The moment I did, the sticker slipped free of my fingers on its own, drifted through the air like a feather, and settled onto her lower abdomen. A sultry pink flash bloomed — and then it sank into her skin exactly like a real tattoo.

Silla's ears went scarlet as she squeaked at me.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Punishment for daring to doubt a servant of King Yeomra~."

"It looked like some kind of sticker — something this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cheap, I can just— kyaa, kyaaah?! Ah—?! It sank into my skin?! How in the world does something like this even exist?!"

"It is not a 'thing' — it is a punishment~. That mark is proof that you are being pursued by a Grim Reaper~. A reminder that if you fail to do as I have said, you will meet me once more~."

"Th-that…?!"

Vulgar as it was, the visual effect was outstanding. Silla, still tracing the sultry pink womb tattoo glowing on her lower belly in disbelief, hurriedly lifted her head and looked at me.

"W-wait a moment! I'm sorry! I was being far too flippant, wasn't I? To a noble personage who came to extend my lifespan, what kind of rude words and actions have I— ohoho, so, um, could you perhaps remove this vulgar— I mean, this mark… aah?! Where are you going?!"

"Take it to heart~. Once every three days~. At the very least, once every three days, you must receive that young man's essence~. If you do not wish to meet me again, go out at once and obtain that young man's seed~."

"No, no! Wait! If you leave like this…?!"

But I was already drifting slowly away from her. I switched the avatar into stealth mode and vanished from her sight. Silla lunged too late toward the spot where I'd been, her hands clawing at empty air, and muttered,

"H-he's gone. Completely… as if it had all been a dream…"

Wondering if it really had been a dream, she brought the hand she'd stretched into empty space back down to her lower belly — and froze solid at the sight of the pink womb tattoo still glowing clearly on her skin.

"Aah?! So it truly wasn't a dream?! At times like this, aren't you supposed to scream 'Waaah?!' and sit bolt upright in bed?!"

Just in case — nothing to lose by trying — Silla pinched the womb tattoo on her lower belly as hard as she could.

"Kyaah?! I-it hurts?! So it really wasn't a dream?! That really was a Grim Reaper?! N-no… that can't be — no, it cannot be. Hoo… c-calm down, calm down…!! First, first I need to get out of here and think. This is some kind of strange space! Th-that's right, it could be something like that. Dungeons are places where anything can happen, so maybe this bathroom is actually a trap set by that useless human outside, or the nesting ground of some tenacious wraith that sticks womb tattoos on elves' bellies and pretends to be a Grim Reaper…!!"

Well, when the most shocking chain of events of your entire life hits you back-to-back, a little reality denial is fair… whoops, looks like she's about to come out.

Seriously, Senior Arang was just abnormally chill about this kind of thing.

Watching Silla's trembling voice and wildly darting eyes lock onto the door — more precisely, onto me on the other side of it — I yanked my consciousness out of the avatar and back into my real body.

Now I just pull out that student ID I picked up at school earlier…!!

BANG—!!

"You ungrateful human! I went out of my way to try and make a useless freeloader occupying a Hunter Department seat act like a real person, and this is how you stab me in the ba— w-wha—?!"

"Kim Bok-soon… whoa, holy—?! What the hell, did the bathroom explode?! How much did you even—"

"What filthy nonsense ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠is that?! More importantly, why do you have that?! Where did you get it?!"

Figuring I was the softest target, Silla had kicked the bathroom door clean open and come flying out ready to wreck me first — only to spot her own student ID in my hand, frantically pat her pants pocket, and then gape at me with eyes the size of saucers.

She was stunned that the student ID that should absolutely have been in her pants pocket was somehow in my hand instead.

Surprising, right? She never even realized she'd lost her student ID in the first place — and now, out of nowhere, the card that should have been in her pocket is sitting in my hand.

If she'd known she'd lost it, Silla would have dropped everything and done whatever it took to find that card. A girl so ashamed of her real name that she went around using some elf-style alias or fake name would never, under any circumstances, allow a student ID with her true name on it to wander into someone else's hands.

I held the card out with a completely innocent look while she kept digging through her pockets, muttering nothing but "Huh?" and "Eh?" over and over.

"Is this yours? Looking at the photo, yeah, that's definitely you… but damn, that name's something else. Kim Bok-soon? Is that a Korean-style name?"

"G-give it back?! When did you steal it?! Have you stooped to thievery now too?!"

"Me? Looks like you kept it in your pants pocket — you really think I could pickpocket just a student ID out of there while wearing gauntlets?"

"Ugh… th-then where did you get it?! Confess honestly!!"

"I don't know either."

"What?"

I really didn't. I gave a big, exaggerated shrug, and Silla — still jamming the card back into her pocket with a scowl — ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lifted her head to demand more.

"I genuinely don't know. I was just crouched here harvesting the Queen Spider's magic stone and byproducts when something went thunk against my back. Didn't feel like a rock chip, so I turned around to check, and…"

"A-and that was just… lying there?"

"Yeah. That's the only way I can explain it. It definitely wasn't there a second earlier… wait, why's your face like that? You okay? You're getting redder and redder."

"Th-that is… w-well…?!"

Normally you'd go pale and think, So that was actually real?! — so why was this girl turning bright red instead?

What a pervert.

She was already fantasizing about me doing something rough to her, no doubt. It was incredibly annoying, but I judged it was still time to keep my true nature hidden, so I kept playing dumb — then spoke as if I'd just noticed something.

"Are you sure you're okay? Your face is… hang on, it's not just your face. There's something on your lower belly…"

"Th-that! Looking upon a beautiful elf such as myself and raising your manhood in lust is, I believe, the proper conduct of a gentleman!"

"You itching to shoot me again? Why are you suddenly spouting firecracker nonsense and trying to build some weird setup?"

"You crazy— that's not— uuh, aauuuh…?!"

How was she supposed to explain this?

Silla bounced in place like she was about to scream it out loud any second, her massive breasts heaving — then, as if she'd made up her mind, she suddenly yanked a gun from her holster.

"G-give me your cock."

"Huh?"

"I said give me your cock! Right now!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

She jammed the muzzle against my chest and shoved me back against the wall.

"Pull it out right now and c-cum. Cum for me right this instant!"

"Why are you doing this?! Fine! I-is it money?! You want money?! How much do you need?! How much could you possibly need that you're shaking down someone who's already on a shit salary?!"

"Listen to yourself! Why would a Grim Reaper send me to a bastard like this…?!"

"Grim Reaper? Something really did happen to you, huh?"

Still pinning me to the wall, finger hovering on the trigger, Silla hung her head — her pointed elf ears flushed red. Then, for about five minutes, she explained everything that had happened in the bathroom.

"What? A Grim Reaper? That you have to take my semen to stay alive?"

"I-it may be hard to believe, but it is the truth!"

After hearing her out, I looked at Silla like she'd lost her mind. Of course she took that look exactly the way she expected and pressed on.

"I can tell from your face that you find this absurd, but it is real. I truly met a Grim Reaper in that bathroom just now. This mark on my lower belly is the proof…"

"No. That's not why I find this absurd."

"What? Then why— kyaa, kyaaah?!"

I shoved the still-tilting-her-head Silla with both hands. She couldn't match me in raw strength, so she landed hard on her ass and glared up at me with a venomous look that clearly said, What the hell do you think you're doing?

"You're here begging me to save your life, and you're still looking up at me like you're above me. That's what's so goddamn ridiculous."

"Y-you…?!"

"'You'? To the human holding your life in his hands, it's 'you'? Yoooou? Call me Master, you pointy-eared bitch."

"Hahk?!"

Time for a reversal of roles.