The Price of Being Loved
“In a way, that’s true, though.”
But if we played it that way, wouldn’t he seem far too innocent?
Hmm. Was that what Director Rhy-lac wanted?
When in doubt, it’s best to ask.
You save a lot of pointless back-and-forth if you just ask right away.
Hold on. In the script, he laughs later, doesn’t he?
He watches everyone one by one, and in the end, the son laughs.
“Even when he laughs?”
“Yeah. Like he’s just found the ice cream he wanted.”
Ah.
So the innocent direction is right after all.
It was a little brighter than I’d imagined, but…
I nodded and asked, “I was thinking it should be more serious.”
“Oh, really?”
“I thought the fear should be stronger.”
The assistant director fell into thought at my words. Then, without hesitation, he scooped me up and ran straight to Director Rhy-lac.
“Director! Gongza says he wants to act with stronger fear.”
“Oh? Really? Gongza, why do you think that?”
I glanced around.
“Because everyone’s staring at me.”
“That’s true.”
“It’s unfamiliar, and that makes it scary, but at the same time I’m also curious.”
Director Rhy-lac scratched his chin.
“We were thinking of it as pure innocence.”
“That does fit a ‘son,’ I guess. But if we go too far down that road, he might just seem thoughtless.”
Well, if he wanted me to act innocent, I could do that.
But I think the story needs a little more seriousness than that…
“Hmm. That’s interesting.”
Director Rhy-lac grinned.
“When I wrote the script, Gongza’s version is the one I had in mind. But I figured that kind of acting would be a little hard for a child actor, so I said innocence was fine too. And with Gongza’s face, it’d be easy to let it slide.”
No, what is he talking about?
Let me do the complicated acting.
That’s the best part of this work, isn’t it?
I can do it!
Do you think I’m some kind of child actor to be dismissed? These days, kids are amazing at acting!
“Instinct tells me things. Let’s go with what Gongza said. Gongza, can you do the acting with fear mixed in well in front of the camera?”
“Yes! I can do it!”
“Our little treasure is full of confidence, huh?”
I smiled brightly.
“I’ll work hard!”
Director Rhy-lac shook his head and let out a long breath.
“Our little treasure thinks deeper than adults do. Deeper than me, anyway.”
Well, of course.
The director suddenly said with a grin, “Gongza, do you know why I fell for you?”
I don’t.
No, wait. You fell for me?
It had felt a little intense, sure, but seriously?
“The first time I saw you, you did exactly what our work needed. At that moment, I fell for you. You’re my first love.”
I, I hate this.
A grown man’s first love?
I did my best to hold back the grimace trying to creep onto my face.
And on top of that—
“What about your wife?”
“Gongza.”
Director Rhy-lac answered gravely.
“My wife is my last love.”
What is this? Why does that sound so weird?
“Gongza, there are many kinds of love. You’re the kind of love I feel as an actor.”
Whatever kind it is, it’s gross.
I don’t want to know. And isn’t this the kind of thing you should never say to a child in the first place?
“Falling for someone has different forms too. When I first saw my wife, I knew it right away. I’m going to marry this person.”
Ah, yes. Yes, please enjoy your beautiful love story. I’m not curious.
“But when I saw Gongza, I knew something else. I’m going to do a lot of projects with this kid.”
I tightened the skin around my eyes, refusing to frown.
“Hmm, why?”
“Would any director ever let go of an actor who gives them two hundred percent of the scene they imagined?”
Ah.
Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but…
He really did like my acting.
“Let’s stay together for a long, long time. I called dibs first.”
I looked at Director Rhy-lac.
He seems sincere enough.
Hmm, for a long time, huh.
He didn’t mean one or two projects by that, did he?
I’d like that too, but…
Still, this man was supposed to be a tragic genius, wasn’t he? Thankfully, that time wasn’t now.
I took the director’s hand.
“Director!”
“Hm?”
“I like you a lot too. If I can work with you…”
Then let’s keep seeing each other on set for a long, long time.
“R, really? Hahahahah!”
“But then you have to trust me.”
“Huh?”
I smiled sweetly.
“My mom said love needs proof.”
Sorry, Mother. I’m going to smooth this over just a little.
“Wh-what? Ma—Ma actor said that?”
“Yes!”
I tightened my grip on his hand. Well, I was still a kid, so my strength wasn’t exactly impressive.
“There’s only one thing Gongza wants. Please get a health checkup.”
“Huh?”
“Mom said the proof of love is a health checkup.”
Let’s prevent serious illness before it even gets a chance.
“W-wait, out of nowhere?”
“You’ll do it, right?”
“I, I hate that sort of thing…”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Director, show me the proof of love.”
“Uh…”
“It’s your first love asking.”
The director just opened and closed his mouth uselessly. I smiled at him.
“I bet your last love would want the same thing too.”
I’m sure his wife would worry about his health, too.
“O-okay. I’ll do it once I’m done with the urgent stuff. Ah, I really don’t want to…”
Good. That’s the right answer.
Still, a contract should always be in writing.
Too many people say one thing with their mouths and another with their actions.
I looked at the assistant director. “Do you have paper?”
“Huh? Of course.”
The assistant director immediately handed me a memo pad and pen.
I held them out. “Promise you’ll go, and sign this.”
“H-hey. Little treasure, does it really have to go this far?”
“All promises should be in writing, or recorded.”
“Did Ma actor say that?”
I shook my head.
“Nope. The older sister who works at my house said that.”
It was true. I wasn’t lying.
“Ah, so she must have suffered a lot while she was young.”
“Mm, she’s a sister, but she’s in her forties. She’s very experienced. She’s been through a lot in the past.”
That was true too.
“Huh?”
“Age is just a number, you know.”
Don’t ask for details. My older sister had a rough past.
“Uh, uh…”
Though clearly out of his mind, the director obediently signed. I folded the memo paper neatly and tucked it into my pocket.
“Don’t go back on it!”
“R-right. You’re so serious I feel like I’d be in big trouble if I didn’t go.”
Ah, I should have gotten it notarized too!
That was a little disappointing.
Still, there’s a way around that.
I beamed. “Let’s pinky swear!”
I held out my little finger. The director, still dazed, hooked his pinky around mine and shook it.
If a cute kid goes this far and you still break the promise, you’re not even human, are you?
At this point, he has to go.
I looked around and said, “You can laugh now.”
Then the assistant director, followed by the camera director, practically collapsed, clutching their stomachs.
“Puhahahahaha!”
“Kahahahaha!”
“Cough—pfft! Ack—hah!”
The mood on set was so warm it was almost cozy.
Director Rhy-lac let out a sigh. “You people are way too much. Whose side are you on, mine or Gongza’s?”
The assistant director said through tears, “Obviously Gongza’s.”
“That’s just cruel.”
I shrugged.
If it came to it, I was going to use a coin anyway.
I’d planned to do that near the end of the film.
But if modern medicine can solve it, that’s even better.
Director Rhy-lac was a good person. I wanted to see more of him too.
So first, don’t die.
Do you know how sad Chungmuro was when you vanished?
The assistant director wiped at his tears and said, “Gongza, it looks like you’re ready. Shall we go film?”
“Yes!”
The assistant director took my hand and walked me to the set.
* * *
Since it was an outdoor shoot, the sunlight was strong.
Come to think of it, I haven’t been outside in a while.
There had been so many scenes in the basement that we’d mostly been shooting in the studio.
People are watching.
Even though the area had already been cordoned off, there were plenty of people looking at us from a distance.
Hm, they’re taking pictures.
Well, filming a movie isn’t something you get to see every day.
Hold on a second.
What was I supposed to do?
I walked over to the extras who were getting ready, smiling sweetly, and bowed my head. Then I lifted it again.
“Please take good care of Gongza!”
“Oh, sure.”
“Look how polite he is.”
Hmm, this side’s atmosphere was nice too.
Nothing will happen, right?
That was when I heard a nasty voice from behind the blocked-off road.
“Oh, so that’s the kid? Sungjin Group’s little foundling?”
Huh.
I blinked. At once, Mr. Deok-su leapt out.
But the voice was faster.
“Money really does matter, huh. Commit a crime and don’t even go to prison, while the brat gets to act in a movie!”
I couldn’t even see who was shouting. One of the staff members hurried off toward the source of the voice. The atmosphere on set hardened in an instant.
Mr. Deok-su said, “Gongza, are you all right?”
“I’m fine!”
“Look here. That’s not a thing said to Gongza!”
Mm. It did sound like it was aimed at me, though.
Still.
“Sir, I’m fine.”
I really was, Mr. Deok-su.
Well, for a normal kid, this would be a huge deal.
People can always tell when they’re the one being insulted.
Besides, part of what he said wasn’t entirely wrong. Sungjin Group was getting dragged through the mud right now over the accounting scandal.
If someone’s guilty, I’d like them to get the proper sentence too.
Honestly, if someone from Sungjin Group had to go to prison, I wouldn’t feel sorry for them one bit. Especially not the second son of Sungjin Group, who was behind this whole mess.
Lee Yu-kyeong’s husband, right.
Come to think of it, the grandmother who was addicted to the scent of my scalp seemed pretty busy these days, because she’d been absent lately.
But that wasn’t the important part.
What worries me more is Ma Jeok getting hurt because of the fallout from this.
I just wanted this to be resolved quickly so Lee Yu-kyeong would stop hitting her own kids.
I was fine, but Mr. Deok-su was frantic.
“Gongza. That person is a bad person.”
Well, that was true enough too.
“No matter how angry you are, you can’t take it out on a child. You have to use another way.”
I nodded.
Well, protesting in front of the courthouse would probably be better.
Better than saying nasty things to a kid, anyway.
Mr. Deok-su bent down and held my shoulders with both hands.
“Gongza has done nothing wrong.”
Of course.
If anything, the problem is just that my mom is the third daughter of the Sungjin Group owner’s family.
I smiled sweetly.
“I know.”
“Gongza doesn’t have to suffer because of this.”
“Mm, that’s not it.”
I shook my head.
“They’re saying it because I’m Gongza’s mom’s son. If it’s that kind of thing, then I can take it. It doesn’t even hurt.”
Do you eat sweet things and spit out the bitter? If I’ve gotten to enjoy the life of a chaebol family’s adopted son, I can’t suddenly complain that it hurts now.
What’s frustrating is that it happened before I was ready.
Of course, there was no way I could’ve stopped the accounting scandal with this body. But if it had broken out while the charity work and sponsorships were in full swing, maybe there would’ve been at least a little less backlash.
I should have been faster.
I let out a long breath. Well, what was past was past. The future was the real problem.
Maybe that’s why, but I really don’t feel anything…
Still, Mr. Deok-su’s face had gone a ghastly shade of blue.
As though he were vomiting up his pain, Mr. Deok-su said, “I’m worried.”
“What about?”
“That you’re still so young and already being exposed to the filth of adults.”
That’s just how this world works.
That’s why child actors grow up so quickly.
It wasn’t a good thing, no. But I’m on my second life here.
I smiled brightly. “I’m really okay.”
“Gongza, listen to me. The person who said that is a bad person. If Gongza were really Sungjin Group’s biological grandson, he wouldn’t have shouted like that.”