The Child Who Notices Too Much
I looked around. Fortunately, it didn’t seem like anyone had noticed.
The costume’s such a ragged mess, I guess they can’t tell.
That was good enough for me.
Duksu will make a fuss, though.
I didn’t want to stir up trouble.
I looked down at the wound. It seemed to have torn open by about three centimeters over my shoulder.
Maybe because I’m wearing scraps of cloth, it doesn’t even show.
There was a little blood soaking through the fabric, but that was all.
At this rate, no one will know.
Director Rhy-lac beamed and said, “Monitor call?”
Actress Jung Yu-jin said, “Call! Call! Call!”
Hmm. Those catchphrases really did show their age.
No, wait. This is their prime, isn’t it?
I was tilting my head when, all of a sudden, I was lifted into the air. It was Director Rhy-lac.
Hey, why are you picking me up?
Even then, he kept dancing as he carried me off, his whole body wriggling with energy. He even tossed me up briefly.
For an instant, I felt weightless.
Ah. This is what a ride feels like.
I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to get on one, though.
Still, I guess I should act like a normal kid and be happy.
Kids would like this sort of thing.
I flailed my arms and legs and cheered.
“Kyah~! One more time!”
“Oh dear, Gongza.”
But that didn’t happen. Director Rhy-lac looked at me sadly and said, “I’d love to do more, but my back hurts.”
Ah, I see.
I patted his shoulder and said, “You don’t have to.”
“Kh. Thank you, Gongza. For showing mercy. You really are like an adult.”
The adults passing by would laugh, I guessed. Well, it wasn’t that big a deal. I didn’t even like it that much to begin with.
“But I really must be getting old. My lower back’s getting weaker.”
Don’t say that to a kid.
“Lower back… important,” I said.
“Lately I think a disc may be starting to act up.”
Wow. That sounded painful.
Jung Yu-jin, who had been listening, cut in. “Director, Gongza is at the age where his whole body’s still soft and squishy. He doesn’t know what a herniated disc is.”
“Ah, right. All right, Gongza, let’s look at the monitor.”
I watched the monitor while still being held in Director Rhy-lac’s arms.
Whoa…
It was the scene where Jung Yu-jin’s character was being hit by a male actor. The young son grabbed the man’s arm, determined to protect his mother. But he was struck on the head immediately and rolled to the ground.
All child abusers should die.
The sight was so brutal that my brows knit on their own.
No matter that it’s acting—I really can’t watch a kid get hit.
I let out a small sigh. Director Rhy-lac asked quietly, “What’s wrong, my little treasure?”
“What is it?”
“You just sighed like the sky caved in. Don’t tell me you don’t like it.”
I answered honestly. “I can’t watch a kid getting hit. Ugh.”
Director Rhy-lac’s shoulders shook. When I glanced down, he was laughing.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing, Gongza. You got hit yourself, and you’re saying that?”
Ah. I’d forgotten.
It doesn’t feel like the person on-screen is me.
I nodded. “Gongza’s acting, you know? And he’s the one who chose to throw himself down.”
“Fair enough.”
“But there really are kids who get hurt like that, right? That’s just too cruel.”
Child abuse has to disappear. Those bastards should be rotting in prison for at least twenty years, minimum.
Then again, compared to some other countries, Korea’s punishments for child-related crimes are still too light.
Shouldn’t this sort of thing be harsher?
I was lost in those thoughts when I suddenly felt someone’s gaze on me.
I looked around and asked, “What?”
Jung Yu-jin answered, “Well, I always think about it, but when Gongza says it like that, it makes me reflect on myself.”
Why?
“We should pay more attention,” she said.
“What, should we sponsor something?”
“I already do.”
Things had suddenly gotten noisy. The monitor had already stopped. Director Rhy-lac said, “Let’s look at the monitor first. Focus!”
Director, you’re the one who started the small talk.
But I couldn’t say that.
I looked back at the screen. My bag appeared in the shot. After being shaken three honest-to-goodness times, it disappeared beneath the sofa.
That bag is important, after all.
The camera showed the scene where the mother in the film was being beaten again, but it didn’t portray the violence too directly. In the end, the camera cast shadows on the wall. The shadows writhed chaotically.
Once the monitor stopped, everyone clapped.
“You see why I passed it, right?”
Everyone laughed.
“Well then, since we’re done, let’s eat.”
Ah, it was already time for that. I looked for Duksu.
Duksu brought lunch boxes, right?
But Director Rhy-lac wouldn’t let go of me. I looked up slightly. He gazed down at me with a stern expression.
“You can’t do that, Gongza!”
What? Why was he scolding me all of a sudden?
“Why?”
“You’re injured.”
Wow, how did he know?
I looked down at my shoulder. There was a little blood seeping through, but it wasn’t very obvious.
Sharp eyes.
I smiled and made excuses. “It doesn’t hurt.”
“Whether it hurts or not isn’t the issue. You should have said you were hurt.”
“I forgot.”
Director Rhy-lac lifted the hem of my costume and let out a groan. “Good grief. It’s cut deeper than I thought.”
“It really doesn’t hurt.”
“No, my treasure. Why wouldn’t it hurt? Of course it hurts.”
Well, would you like me to say that it hurts right here and now?
Then a heavy voice cut in. “Gongza, are you injured?”
Ah, Duksu.
You appeared like the wind.
Director Rhy-lac handed me over to Duksu. The man in the black suit flipped up my costume with a terrifying expression.
“It’s just a scratch!”
“Not just a scratch. It’s three centimeters.”
That’s what you call a scratch.
It’s just the skin that got a little nicked, and now everyone’s making a scene.
Pulling a bandage from his pocket, Duksu asked, “When exactly did this happen?”
While filming.
But if I say that, he’ll worry even more.
I shook my head. “I don’t remember. I didn’t even know I’d been hurt.”
Perfect explanation. But just then, as Duksu was sticking on a hydrocolloid bandage, Director Rhy-lac said, “He got hurt during filming.”
Huh? How did he know?
“It shows up vividly on the monitor.”
R-right.
“We really need to keep a close eye on Gongza. He seems like the type to say he’s not hurting even when he’s injured.”
Whoa. Caught red-handed.
“That’s exactly what we’re worried about too,” someone said.
“He’s still young, and he’s already like this. My little treasure, you can’t go on living like that.”
No, how exactly have I been living?
If I’d said I was hurt back there, we wouldn’t have made it through the one-take.
Director Rhy-lac sighed as he stroked my hair.
“Is he precocious because he’s a child actor?”
“He’s just Gongza. And this is something Ma Soo-jung is very worried about too.”
“I can understand how Soo-jung feels. How could I not know something was wrong when he was cut like this? My little treasure, you can’t keep only worrying about everyone else, all right?”
No, I said I was fine.
“You can’t keep injuries to yourself.”
“It was fine.”
Duksu’s eyes widened. “Gongza.”
“Yes?”
“I’m telling your mother.”
Oh no.
“Don’t!”
“I will. Gongza needs to be scolded a little.”
“No! Mama will worry!”
“She’s already worrying.”
I hopped in place, trying to block Duksu, but he wouldn’t let himself be caught.
Ah, this can’t escalate!
What if they stop filming again?
Seriously, why were they making such a big deal out of a tiny scratch?
Director Rhy-lac watched me and shook his head. “I know our little treasure isn’t ordinary, but saying he’d rather make Soo-jung worry than admit he’s hurt…”
He muttered it like he was narrating a movie.
“It sounds like the introduction to some legendary actor.”
Hey now.
That’s going too far.
Director Rhy-lac rubbed his chin and wandered off. I tried with all my might to stop Duksu, but in the end I couldn’t prevent him from calling my mother.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
“So I got scolded.”
When I said it in a dejected voice, Jung Yu-jin covered her mouth.
I was honest. “You can laugh.”
“Kya-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
She burst into laughter, clutching her stomach.
“What kind of punishment did they give you?”
“They wouldn’t let Gongza practice.”
“Huh? Practice what?”
“My voice.”
First thing in the morning, I did stretching and vocal exercises.
That’s how you start the day.
I looked up at the sky sadly, and Jung Yu-jin laughed again.
“Kya-ha-ha-ha! Wait, that’s punishment?”
“It’s a serious punishment. If I don’t do it once a day, I feel really weird.”
Perfect diction only came from practice, after all.
I sighed at the script in my hands, all tattered at the edges. Jung Yu-jin patted my head.
“Aigoo, my son is working so hard. By the way, I spoke with Soo-jung last night too.”
I asked carefully, “What did she say?”
“She said she’s worried about you. She asked whether you’re getting too deeply absorbed in the role. It’s a pretty gloomy one, after all.”
Ah.
“You do have a counseling teacher, you know.”
“I know. And it’s okay. But you can’t help being affected at all.”
That was true enough.
But still.
“Gongza isn’t a child who lives in the basement.”
I grinned.
When you’re being showered with this much love, do you really need to sink too deeply into it?
Of course, that didn’t mean I couldn’t focus on the acting.
“Oh my. Our Gongza’s saying something remarkable. I’ve been a little down lately because I’m so immersed in the role.”
Oh dear.
“Go to counseling for me instead!”
“No, no, not that much. It’s just that I’ve been thinking a lot because of acting concerns.”
Jung Yu-jin let out a sigh.
“This role is really depressing. Even if you barely escape the basement, the world waiting outside is still lonely.”
Well, that was true too.
In the film, the mother and son came out of the basement.
But the world that spread out before them was unbearably painful.
It was cruel enough to make you wonder whether living in the basement had actually been better.
The media and the public never left the pair alone.
Not even the mother’s own parents.
The mother was battered and broken by the world.
But the son accepts it.
The son adjusts with innocent ease to the world outside the basement.
“Gongza. What do you think a son wants most from his mother?”
I stared at Jung Yu-jin. Honestly, the answer was all in the script.
There’s no way she wouldn’t know that.
And yet she was asking me anyway, which meant she must really want to hear the son’s answer.
“His mother’s happiness.”
“Exactly, right?”
I held out the script and said, “The son in here always wants his mother to be happy.”
Jung Yu-jin smiled a little.
“That’s right.”
Maybe that had settled something for her.
Just then, the assistant director approached.
“Gongza, you know what we’re filming today, right?”
I nodded.
The assistant director hugged me and pointed with a finger toward a distance away. “You just walk over there. The extras will be watching. Walk like you’re nervous.”
“Yes!”
“Once you get to the spot I marked, look around. Then take a deep breath. After that, turn around and look at the people.”
It was an intensely philosophical scene.
A child who has become the thing people stare at, now turning to stare back at them.
Honestly, this kind of acting was hard.
You have to express both fear and curiosity, so it’s a bit of a hassle.
The assistant director stressed, “Gongza, you need to look conflicted. Hmm… imagine the face you’d make if you had to choose between strawberry ice cream and chocolate.”
The custom-tailored acting direction was impressive.