Chapter 173: Little by Little, Slowly (8)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 173: Little by Little, Slowly (8)
As I chased after Luche, who had dashed away in a panic, memories of the past suddenly flickered through my mind.
They were old memories, but moments I’d shared with Luche back when she was A.T. resurfaced, bringing a faint smile to my lips as I walked.
I knew I had to find her and have a proper conversation, but she had run off so fast I could barely track her with my eyes. I had no way of knowing where she’d gone.
Standing by the emergency exit, I looked around, unsure if she had headed up or down. Figuring she’d be easier to find if she went up, I started climbing the stairs first.
I made my way up the seven-story building, checking the emergency exits on every floor, but none of them showed signs of having been opened recently. I didn't think Luche, having fled from outside the office, would have ducked into another one, so I kept going all the way to the roof.
I scanned the wide rooftop and even checked the terrace below, but there was no sign of her.
“Is she really that angry?”
The thought suddenly struck me that Luche might be so upset she didn't want to see me at all. I had been under her command for over ten years and hadn't recognized her once; she had every right to be furious.
Of course, Luche hadn't told me the truth for those ten years either, but this wasn't a matter to be judged with cold logic. Regardless of her silence, the fact remained that I hadn't realized who she was for a decade. Even thinking that it was natural not to recognize her because her appearance had changed was just me trying to be rational.
Thinking back, the personalities of A.T. and Luche were remarkably similar. Both could be inflexible at times, yet they always gave their absolute best to their assigned tasks. On the outside, they seemed like strong, indomitable people, but once you got to know them and looked inside, that wasn't quite the case.
If there was a difference, it was that back when she was A.T., she rarely cried, whereas the current Luche shed tears quite often. Perhaps those differences were what kept me from realizing Luche was A.T.
I pondered it, but nothing really changed. Since there was no sign of anyone resembling Luche on the roof, I figured she must still be inside the building and headed back through the emergency exit.
As I descended the stairs, I wondered where she might be hiding.
My thoughts traced back through my memories. A.T. and Luche. They were the same person, but the amount of time I’d spent with each version was vastly different.
I’d only spent a few months with A.T., while I’d spent ten years with Luche. Yet, the memory I relied on to find her came from those few months. I didn't stop until I reached the underground parking lot.
“Theo.”
I approached Theo, who was working in a corner of the vast garage. He looked up, surprised to see me.
“What brings you down to the basement all of a sudden?”
“Where’s Team 3’s new ride?”
“Go toward that corner where the team vehicles are parked. There should be a new mini-bus there. Why? What’s up with the car?”
“Just wanted to check it out since I was in the neighborhood. Keep up the hard work.”
Following Theo’s directions, I walked toward the area he pointed out.
The vehicle Team 3 used to use was an old van that we always had to cram ourselves into. That van had been completely blown up during the last terror incident and was now beyond repair.
Naturally, Team 3 had been issued a replacement, and I walked toward the light-blue mini-bus visible in the distance.
The reason I had come down to the basement to find this bus was because of a specific memory.
Back when I was in charge of A.T., there were many days when I was under probation and had to spend the entire day with her. When two people are stuck together like that, they sometimes have fun, but they also clash.
Since A.T. was always the one coming to my room, whenever we had a fight, she would storm out. Sometimes I wouldn't go after her, but other times, when I felt I was in the wrong, I’d go out to find her.
Back then, I’d scour the entire Command Center—which was much larger than this current headquarters—searching for her like I was looking for a needle in a haystack. There were days I spent the entire day searching and still couldn't find her.
Then, it occurred to me to think about where she would most likely go, and I headed to the place most familiar to her: the hangar.
At the time, the dedicated craft A.T. used had been lost after a series of events involving a Predator appearing in the hangar, and she had been given a new one.
And whenever I opened the cockpit of that new craft, A.T. was always there.
I opened the door of the new bus and looked at the very back row. Luche was there.
“!”
Seeing her jump in surprise the moment she saw me, I let out a hollow laugh and approached her.
“You really haven't changed a bit, have you?”
A.T. used to jump just like that whenever I opened the cockpit door to nag her. Now that I was looking at Luche through the same lens I used for A.T., so many similarities became visible.
“W-What? Why are you here?”
“I came to find my superior, who ran away in the middle of a conversation.”
I approached Luche, who was avoiding my gaze, and sat in the seat directly in front of her.
Neither of us spoke. For Luche, she had been facing the same version of me all this time, but that was while I was still ignorant of her identity as A.T.
Now that she knew I had found out, she couldn't bring herself to speak easily.
I, too, had faced Luche countless times, but knowing she was A.T. made me unsure of how to start the conversation.
The tension was so thick that I actually thought it would be easier to report to her about my girlfriends like I usually did.
“...Since when did you know?”
Luche finally spoke, her voice cautious. Even though we saw each other every day, it felt like a reunion after a long separation. A cold sweat broke out, but I tried my best not to show how nervous I was.
“Roy gave me a hint earlier. But I realized it for sure while I was talking to you, Luche.”
“That watchdog...”
Luche cursed Roy using the same description I had once used for him, and the old memory made me chuckle.
“Didn't you want me to recognize you?”
I turned my head to ask, and the moment our eyes met, Luche looked away.
“Well, yes, but...”
Hearing her answer in a small voice, I felt that while she was the same Luche as always, she was also slightly different from the A.T. I knew.
“But haven't you changed too much from before?”
“Like what?”
“In the past, you spoke more dryly and brushed most things off like they were nothing.”
“People change over time. You’re the one who taught me that.”
When I first met A.T. And when we parted.
Both A.T. and I had changed. It wasn't a complete personality transplant, but we had both become a bit softer.
I could admit that my behavior back then was a bit aggressive, and looking back, that period had a huge influence on the personality I have today.
Luche must have also gone through many experiences during the twenty-plus years after she returned to the research institute. She had spent far more time away from me than with me, gaining valuable experiences, so it was only natural for her to change.
“I suppose so.”
I smiled and nodded in agreement. I hesitated for a moment before glancing at her again.
“Are you angry?”
“Huh?!”
Startled by the question, Luche looked at me, and I finally managed to catch her eyes, which had been avoiding mine. Just by looking at them, I could feel how complicated her emotions were.
Of course, my own head was just as much of a mess.
“No, I just thought you might have run off because you were mad that I didn't recognize you for ten years...”
“I’m not angry. I didn't tell you, so why would I be angry?”
“Then why did you run away?”
I had brought up A.T. out of the blue during our conversation, but I didn't think it was something to run away over. When I asked for the reason, Luche couldn't answer immediately and lowered her head.
Her face was so flushed I half-expected white steam to start whistling from the top of her head like a boiling kettle. Fearing she might actually explode if I pressed for an answer, I kept my mouth shut.
“...It was embarrassing.”
“Pardon?”
“I said it was embarrassing!”
Well, I was embarrassed too. Luche was A.T., and I had been her subordinate for ten years without even knowing. The fact that I’d watched her from right beside her for a decade and failed to recognize her was incredibly humiliating.
But when I tried to think of why Luche would be embarrassed, nothing came to mind.
“Why?”
When I asked gently, Luche lowered her head again and slowly began to answer.
“I always acted like such a big shot because I was your superior, but when you actually found out, I felt happy. But then all the things I’d done started overlapping in my head...”
I listened quietly as she spoke, her shoulders trembling. She had probably wanted me to figure out her identity all this time, but as the years passed without me noticing, that desire must have gradually faded.
Then, while she was treating me like a normal subordinate, I had suddenly discovered the truth, and she likely couldn't control the surge of complex emotions that followed.
“I kept it a secret for ten years, and even though I thought it would be hard to say, I wondered if it would have been better if I’d been the one to tell you first...”
Luche’s shoulders continued to shake as she spoke, and her voice began to tremble as well.
“But I thought if I told you first, you might be disappointed, thinking I’d been deceiving you.”
Before I knew it, Luche was on the verge of tears, her head bowed as droplets began to fall. I’d seen Luche cry many times, but seeing her cry in an atmosphere like this made me panic.
“What?! No, why would I be disappointed? I’m the one who didn't recognize you.”
To comfort her, I stood up and sat down in front of her to meet her eyes.
“But my appearance and voice all changed. It was only right that I should have been the one to speak up first.”
Even though I was right in front of her, Luche didn't look up, continuing to weep with her head bowed.
“I told you I’d remember you, but I failed to recognize you first. It’s not just your fault, Luche.”
I threw every comforting word I could think of at her, and Luche sniffled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
“I changed my look because I wanted you to recognize me, because I wanted you to like me... but I kept my mouth shut without explaining anything. It was stupid of me to keep hoping you’d just know.”
Her tearful plea had turned into self-deprecation. At the mention of her "look," I took another look at Luche. I hadn't noticed anything strange in the ten years I’d known her, but was there something she had specifically focused on?
“What’s wrong with your appearance?”
Unable to find the answer no matter how much I looked, I asked cautiously. Luche finally lifted her head and met my eyes.
“That drama we watched back then.”
“A drama?”
Back when I was in space, my hobby was watching dramas. Through them, I could glimpse the civilizations of many planets and observe different cultures.
In truth, there was nothing better for killing time, so watching them had become a bit of a habit. I’d watched countless dramas while traveling through space, and of course, I’d watched them with Luche—or rather, A.T.
But because I’d watched so many, while I remembered living with A.T., I had no memory of the specific dramas we watched together.
“The one about the spy!”
At the mention of a spy, I began to dig through my old memories until I let out an "Ah!"
Around the time A.T. arrived, I had been watching a certain drama. It was about a spy who was monitoring an enemy, only to fall in love and start dating them... Come to think of it, that’s basically my life story.
Anyway, I remembered watching a drama like that. And looking at Luche now, she looked exactly like the female lead from that show.
The ash-gray hair and the innocent impression. She had even used the character’s name.
“You’re right. You gave me so many clues.”
Luche must have put a lot of thought into deciding on this appearance. Having been trained by me, she had copied the look of the actress I liked back then, hoping I would recognize her.
A thought suddenly occurred to me: why did Luche specifically choose the appearance of an actress I liked? If she wanted me to recognize her, wouldn't it have been much easier if she’d kept her original look?
As I stood there with a blank expression, lost in thought, Luche suddenly glared at me.
“W-What is it?”
Had I done something wrong again in the last few seconds? I quickly reviewed the situation.
I couldn't think of anything. It seemed safer to just assume everything I did was wrong.
“Why do you keep using formal speech?”
“Pardon?”
“I asked why you’re still being so formal!”
I’d used formal speech for the last ten years; was it wrong to use it with my superior now?