Chapter 123: A Fleeting Spring Dream (6)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 123: A Fleeting Spring Dream (6)
Another week passed since I first realized I was being followed. My shadow didn't appear on a regular schedule; some days I felt a presence, and other days I felt nothing at all, which only served to make me even more high-strung.
I had expected some dramatic change after I noticed them, but unfortunately, I remained stuck in a state where I could do nothing but stay constantly vigilant.
Ultimately, the combination of exhaustion and irritability meant that even as more time passed, I still couldn't sleep well at night. It wasn't just a day or two that I spent the late hours agonizing over things, and whenever I stepped outside, I was more on edge than ever.
Even when meeting my girlfriends, I tried to avoid public places as much as possible. Even when heading straight home, I constantly checked my surroundings, wary that someone might be tailing me.
My paranoia reached its peak whenever I had to go to Headquarters. I would scan my surroundings from the moment I left my front door. Looking back, there were gaps in my memory, suggesting I must have dozed off unconsciously while using public transportation.
A few times, I sensed a presence nearby and gave chase, but while the stalker couldn't hide their presence, they were fast. They always managed to evade me, leaving behind only the faint trace that they had been there.
Eventually, my frayed nerves led me to wonder if I was missing something. I kept ruminating on these thoughts to the point where I couldn't even focus on my girlfriends when I was with them.
I felt a surge of irritation at my own inability to focus on anything, but none of my girlfriends called me out on it.
They probably assumed I was just stressed over work at the company.
On Tuesday evening, I went to Su-ah’s place to spend time with her. Of course, I stayed alert until the very moment I stepped inside. Fortunately, no one was tailing me that day, so I was able to enter her home with a sense of relief.
It was that day that I truly realized how much my fatigue was showing on the outside.
Usually, Su-ah would often use rough language with me while gaming, and I would give it right back to her, which was how we showed our affection.
To an outsider, it might look like we had bad blood, but that was just Su-ah’s blunt way of expressing herself. If you listened closely, you could tell her coarse words were just a way to hide the affection that occasionally slipped out.
While some might not see that in a positive light, I used to be quite rough with my words myself, so I understood her. Since I could feel that her harshness didn't stem from any ill will, I never took it to heart.
My own rough responses to her followed a similar logic. I held no ill will toward Su-ah; I simply chose that style of communication so she wouldn't feel awkward, given her naturally blunt personality.
To get back to the point—whether we were gaming or just talking, Su-ah usually expressed her feelings with a healthy dose of profanity. But for the past few days, she hadn't used a single coarse word with me.
Naturally, I brought it up.
"You haven't cursed at me in days," I noted. Su-ah looked at me with narrowed eyes and asked, "You want me to start?"
Then she added:
"I'm holding back because you look like you're falling apart lately."
Only then did it hit me.
I looked so bad that even Su-ah was worried. And if she noticed, everyone else probably did too.
Perhaps they thought mentioning my stress would only add to it, so they had been avoiding the topic as much as possible.
No wonder Yura, who usually begged for sex every time we met on the weekend, hadn't brought it up once when I went to her place. I ended up being the one to initiate it that day, but it seemed Yura had been walking on eggshells around me too.
In the end, even though I gamed and slept over at Su-ah’s on Tuesday, we didn't have sex. It was the first time in a long while that we had slept together without doing anything, and that felt even stranger.
On Wednesday, I was so worried about the commute back home that I intentionally stayed at Su-ah’s place gaming until the sun went down.
Su-ah didn't say much; she just played games and ate with me like usual. As dusk fell, I left her place and headed for my apartment.
Before entering, I checked the surroundings one last time. After confirming no one was there, I stepped into the building. I entered the code into the door lock, and when the door swung open, I saw Yubin sitting on the sofa.
"Oh, you're here?"
Knowing that tomorrow was the day of the duel, I was a bit surprised to see her. I took off my shoes and stepped inside.
"…I told you I was coming."
"Huh? You did?"
Since the new semester had started, Yubin had been going to school on weekdays, and the time we spent together had decreased drastically.
Hearing her words, I reached for my phone to check our messages, but I stopped when I felt her gaze fixed on me.
"What is it?"
"What is it? You're seriously asking me 'what is it' right now?"
There was an edge to Yubin’s voice. I wondered if something bad had happened as I dragged my exhausted body toward the bed and collapsed onto it.
"You stayed out last night."
"Yeah."
She obviously knew, so I answered honestly and turned my face slightly away from the pillow. Yubin’s red eyes were piercing through me, her brow furrowed in a deep frown.
"What's the matter? Did something happen?"
I reached out to stroke her hair, but Yubin slapped my hand away.
The sudden rejection caught me off guard. I didn't even think to sit up and have a proper conversation; I just stared at her from the bed as her trembling lips slowly parted.
"You stayed out both days over the weekend, and you've stayed out several times during the week since last week too."
I was well aware that I had been staying out frequently. It couldn't be helped; when I met the others, staying over at least once a week was the norm. Since I only really saw Yura and Hayoung on the weekends, I always stayed at their places when we met.
Since I couldn't tell her the truth, I had told her it was because of work, and Yubin hadn't said much about it then. I couldn't understand why she was suddenly being so sharp with me.
"I told you I couldn't come home because of work."
"When?"
My train of thought screeched to a halt at her last word.
When was the last time I had actually messaged Yubin to tell her I was staying out?
I couldn't remember. All I could recall from yesterday, the day before, and last week was the crushing stress of multiple overlapping problems.
Since the frequent overnight stays began, I hadn't always reported every single one to Yubin. There were days when I failed to contact her, and back then, Yubin had let it slide, thinking I was just busy with work.
When we talked about it later, she had seemed a bit hurt, but I hadn't paid it much mind.
But my mind, pushed to its absolute limit, couldn't process that far.
Even while I was with her, my thoughts were racing. I had to re-evaluate what I’d already done and plan out what I had to do next, over and over again.
Even now, rather than focusing on Yubin’s hurt feelings, I was thinking about what I needed to do later. The words that came out of my mouth were:
"…Let's talk later."
It was a blatant attempt to avoid the situation.
Hearing that, Yubin seemed to snap and bolted upright. Her clenched fists were trembling, and her wavering eyes were locked onto mine.
"What is wrong with you lately?! You don't even reply to my texts properly, you're gone for a whole week, and you spend more nights out than you do at home!"
"I told you, it's because of work."
"Is it work twenty-four-seven?! When you come home, you could at least talk to me for a little bit! About what you did today. About how hard it was!"
I couldn't find the words to answer her barrage. Once today was over, tomorrow was the duel. After the duel, I had to contact the others… and it would be best to meet Eunha briefly in the evening. While moving, I’d have to check if that person was following me again, and then…
"When I ask what's wrong, you barely say anything! You look exhausted every time I see you, but when I ask if you're okay, you just say 'let's talk later'! Do you have any idea how I feel, just having to watch you like this until you decide to speak?!"
…When was the last time I had a real conversation with Yubin? I couldn't remember.
My only desire was to rest for a moment now that I was home. I turned my head away from her.
I traced the patterns on the white wallpaper with my eyes.
I just want to rest for a second at home. I wish she’d stop for today. But since she’s saying this because she’s worried about me, I should just stay quiet and listen.
However, contrary to my intentions, seeing me turn away must have infuriated her. Her voice grew even louder.
"What is it?! Seriously! I'm trying to talk to you! You're not hiding something from me, are you?! Huh?!"
She shook my body to make me look back at her, and I shoved her hand away.
"Hiding something?"
I knew. I knew my situation wasn't one I could proudly explain to anyone.
I knew I was hiding something massive from Yubin.
But Yubin was hiding something important from me, too. It had been four months since we started dating, and she still hadn't told me she was a Superhuman.
Even though I already knew her secret, hearing her ask if I was hiding anything made me angry—angry that I had never heard the truth from her own lips.
I sat up and turned my gaze back to her. I knew I had no right to be angry. Despite knowing that, I glared at her with a scowl. Yubin froze, startled by the coldness in my eyes, which was so different from how I usually looked at her.
"Can you honestly tell me you're not hiding anything from me?!"
The fatigue and irritability that had built up over the past few weeks finally exploded, directed at the innocent Yubin.
Yubin’s lower lip trembled, her words cut short. It was only after I had snapped at her that my reason finally returned.
But while my logic was back, my emotions hadn't fully cooled down. My frayed nerves were still pulsing with irritation, and I couldn't soften the sharp gaze I held on her.
"…."
Yubin remained silent, her gaze dropping to the floor. She likely realized that she, too, was hiding the fact that she was a Superhuman.
I knew my outburst wasn't really because of her, but I couldn't compose myself. Fearing I would only get more irritated if we kept talking, I looked away.
As I averted my eyes, I caught a glimpse of Yubin’s eyes widening in my peripheral vision.
"O-oppa…"
She called out to me tentatively and reached out a hand, but I lay back down on the bed and turned my back to her as if to dodge her touch.
It was nothing. This whole situation had blown up over nothing. If we just had a proper conversation—even if I continued to lie as I had been—this could be resolved.
"…Let's talk in a bit."
Perhaps it was because I hadn't sorted out my own thoughts yet, but I didn't want to talk right now.
Because I was turned away, I couldn't see her. I could only feel her standing there, motionless.
Then, I heard the sound of someone gathering their things. Yubin didn't say a word; the only sound in the quiet room was the rustle of her clothes.
Soon, the front door opened and closed.
A few seconds after the sound of the door lock engaging, I turned around. Yubin was gone.
I felt pathetic. Who the hell did I think I was, talking to Yubin like that?
The biggest problem here, the person most in the wrong, wasn't Yubin—it was me. Why did I snap at her using exhaustion as an excuse? All Yubin did was wait for my calls and worry about me.
"Sigh…"
I placed my arm over my forehead and let out a long breath.
This is the limit. I’ve reached the point where I can no longer control myself.
It’s true that I love them all, but it’s also true that Yubin is the one I feel most comfortable with. And because I grew complacent in that comfort and familiarity, I ended up taking my anger out on her. Even in the moment I snapped—no, even as I was doing it—I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't rein in my emotions and ended up hurting her.
I need to finish the duel tomorrow first. Then, in the evening, I’ll either call her or go to her place to apologize.