Chapter 83
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 83
Chapter Title: Mama Bear #1
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The prison walls were cold and damp.
Lying there inside, the chill seeped into my back—it was pure agony, like I might actually die.
“Talk about a shitty turn of events!”
The shaman I'd been waiting so desperately for had finally come from the capital.
And they threw me straight into prison!
‘They called her the Imperial Historian?’
‘The one who was comrades with Lieutenant General Raiden and the Sewer Emperor?’
If she really was that kind of person, it made sense why everyone was too scared to move.
From my perspective, though, it was just way too unfair.
“I didn’t do anything wrong!”
I grabbed the bars and yelled at the top of my lungs.
Then, out of nowhere, someone in the cell next to mine shouted back.
“Yeah! Me neither!”
“I’m innocent too! That bitch came onto me first!”
“I-I’m innocent! They can’t just lock people up without evidence!”
“Me too! Innocent!”
Like dogs in the countryside barking one after another once the first one starts.
That’s exactly what this was.
All sorts of criminals hanging off the bars like zoo chimps, making a racket—it was pathetic.
Me, getting lumped in with those guys?
‘Screw this. Whatever.’
I flopped down flat on the floor.
Then someone approached my cell.
“Whoa, what’s this? Yor, is that you?”
“Huh? Double Sword?”
The bounty hunter D.S. from the neighboring party was on guard duty at the Great Wall Prison today, apparently.
He saw me locked up and chuckled.
“You got nabbed too, huh? Our party’s twins are shut up over there too.”
“Hi, big bro Yor!”
“We’re prison buddies now!”
Was this for real?
Looking around, every thief from every explorer party was locked up.
“Looks like those rumors about Yona hating thieves and ex-cons were true.”
“Damn it, why’d someone like that have to end up as our party’s shaman?”
“…Well, just hang in there a bit. Yona’s probably only filling in as the explorer parties’ shaman temporarily. She’s a busy lady—she’ll head back to the capital soon!”
Ah, that made sense.
I was about to close my eyes and catch up on some much-needed sleep when—
—Squeak...!!!
A little rat came scurrying up my thigh.
When I looked, it was the same runt that Nimble had nearly gulped down whole last time, but I’d set it free.
“Oh! Ratty!”
I could tell it apart because it was especially black, like a shadow—easy to spot.
“Here to repay the favor?”
Rustle rustle—
The rat darted around the cell super quick.
Not here to repay any favor—it just wanted the bread crumbs I’d left uneaten.
“You ungrateful little pest!”
Still, it was a nice distraction from the boredom.
I reached out to poke its plump little butt, but the thing dodged like crazy.
Just as my hand was about to graze it?
—Squeak...!!!!!
It threw a total tantrum, squeaking up a storm.
Enough to make the guy next door bang on the wall.
“You screwing that rat or what? Keep it down! Can’t sleep!”
“Yeah! Shut up already!”
And they were the louder ones.
This was why thieves were trouble.
Getting treated the same as those losers? So unfair.
Anyway, this rat was as jumpy as that ‘Canary’ girl I’d seen in the capital.
The second my hand got close, squeak squeak squeak—
‘Maybe…?’
I activated ‘Subtle Touch’ and stroked its back.
This time, the rat stayed put nice and calm.
“Nice!”
The Sewer Emperor’s pickpocketing skill for sure!
This mystical technique could even fool the senses of the twitchiest little critters?
—Squeak...!
But it didn’t work every time.
Out of ten tries, it squeaked about seven.
Failure.
If this were the real world, I’d get dragged off by the guards thanks to some screaming noble girl.
‘How can I boost the success rate?’
I pondered it from every angle.
Then it hit me—this was actually hilarious.
Training by throwing knives and stabbing scarecrows was fun enough.
But thieving? That was my true calling.
‘Thieves aren’t frontline fighters in a party anyway, right?’
Improving my thieving skills would help the party too, wouldn’t it?
Even back in the capital incident, swiping Wise Man Pilgrim’s ‘Cartwheel Necklace’ had turned things around.
Yeah, honing my thieving skills seemed like the way to go.
I’d watched a mantis catch a dragonfly once.
Anyone who’s seen how a mantis approaches knows.
Slowly—
Super slow, so slow from the dragonfly’s view it looks frozen.
Then, at the crucial moment—snap!
‘Now!’
Pluck.
I yanked out one of the twitchy rat’s whiskers.
It didn’t notice a thing, just kept munching crumbs.
‘Nice!’
My brain felt like a fountain of fizzy cola exploding.
‘I get it! The essence of pickpocketing!’
Now I could pet the rat seven out of ten times.
Such a chonky little guy.
“Training’s paying off!”
Next goal: ten out of ten successes.
Even with my new ‘Slow Hand’, three out of ten still squeaked and caught me.
‘The thief’s path has realms I don’t yet know.’
Unlock this secret, and I could steal the handkerchief flower hidden in Germain sis’s bosom.
And go further—become a thief raking in Ether like the Sewer Emperor.
“Hey, buddy, how’s four days in the slammer treating you?”
That’s when Hermit came to visit me in prison.
Shit, already four days?
Lost track playing with the rat.
‘Gotta get locked up more often for training.’
Anyway.
Hermit handed me a burger and cola.
After days of tasteless oat mush and rock-hard bread, tasting modern PhD-engineered grub? Pure heaven.
“Too goooood!!!!”
Hermit glanced around sneakily.
“Keep it secret that I brought you this! Yona the shaman banned treating thieves nice, so everyone’s stuck.”
“So when do I get out?”
“We’re deploying tomorrow, at least…”
Hermit trailed off.
Whatever—as long as she brought food, great.
I could feel the envy from the next-cell losers who’d eaten garbage for days.
“Why don’t our party members visit?!”
“You bastards! How much Ether did I earn for you?!”
Heh heh, feeling superior.
All from one burger!
Rustle.
Hermit stuck her hand through the bars.
“I’ve been meditating lately and can kinda control my mana circuits now. Wanna test it? Touch my palm?”
Her palm?
Curious, I placed my hand on Hermit’s palm.
Zap!
“Ow!”
“Didn’t work!”
Hermit looked glum.
She was struggling with her enhanced mana circuits.
Her spell power was now strong enough to briefly overpower a level 19 mage, but the stronger blasts meant fewer casts.
Overload the circuits, and her breathing got ragged and painful.
Poor girl.
Though I was suffering more in here.
“Anyway, deployment tomorrow—see you then!”
Hermit left.
Time passed, and the next day.
I was released from the bars and dragged before Yona the shaman, once called the Imperial Historian.
“Thief. Today’s quota is 1 million Ether. Fill it, and I’ll grant you three hours free time.”
Yona laid down the law.
Kneeling before her, I sneaked a peek at her eyes—sharp and intense.
“You probably know this already, but I don’t trust thieves. Don’t try any tricks.”
“…What exactly do you mean by tricks?”
“Don’t roll your eyes like that. I cooked in the same pot as that vile, sneaky Vein. I know every thief trick down to your breathing.”
Indeed, comrade of Sewer Emperor Vein.
Imperial Historian.
She could squash a newbie thief like me with a flick.
One thing bugged me, though.
“But Lady Yona, one question…”
“What?”
“You say you were comrades with Vein and Lieutenant General Raiden, but you look too young…”
Yona looked maybe mid-to-late 20s at most.
Generous estimate: early 30s.
From what I heard, the Imperial Historian’s heyday was about 30 years ago.
So how old was she really?
Yona clenched her fist and bonked my head.
“Ow!”
“Buttering me up like that won’t work. Prove your worth with results.”
Ugh.
Felt like a heavy metal chunk smashing my skull.
One hit, and I could feel the level gap.
No way I’d win in a straight fight.
Clank.
Anyway, they uncuffed me, and I deployed.
The deployment zone was kinda unfamiliar.
「Elania Forest」
Trees stretching sky-high—an impressive place.
‘Pretty sure there was a spot like this in the game…’
Too long ago; memory fuzzy.
I’d seen this view somewhere, for sure.
But unfamiliar spots? Whatever.
What mattered was the lineup for this op.
“Recommended level 16 hunting ground… this okay?”
Felix frowning.
Hermit next to him, gaping at the towering trees.
“Trees grown since ancient times! So tall!”
Crew so far: solid.
The real issue—
“Same old annoying forest.”
Shaman Yona.
Arms crossed, face scrunched as she scanned around.
She was joining this expedition!
And so the hunt began.
—Oohgik…!
—Keeik…!
Skull monkeys with talismans on their heads swarmed in droves.
These bony simians were called ‘Akham Monkeys’, apparently.
Reminded me of Hammer.
“<Lightning>!”
Zzzap!
Hermit’s magic power was impressive as ever.
“Hah… mana circuits…”
But she tired quick.
Felix swung his sword, slicing bone monkeys.
Clatter…!
「+800 Ether」
「Ominous Talisman: A common talisman across Elania. Feels imbued with sinister magic.」
「Tasty Rice: Staple food for Elania monkeys」
—Wahlu wahlu…!
Ether and junk drops got scooped by magnet pet Walrulu.
Crunch crunch.
—Arrr, garrr…!
Occasionally it’d pop some Ether in its mouth and chew, but tiny amounts—ignoreable.
Man, still scary as hell-looking!
“Magic creature? Neat tactic.”
Even Yona, supervising our hunt, was impressed by our magnet pet.
We’d gathered 400,000 Ether like that.
“All in one day?”
Yona was shocked.
Even to big shots, our Ether-farming skills seemed legit?
My nose itched with pride when Yona spoke.
“Then set up camp.”
“Huh? Camp?”
Camping.
In the Night Land?
As I panicked, Yona fixed me with a cold stare.
“Explorations run overnight by default, no? And you, blood clot—you’re sharing my tent. No funny business.”
Wha—!?
Cold sweat already pouring.