The Idol Princess's Grand Entrance
The flashy entrance didn't last long. About an hour?
Only after the crowd had thinned out did the carriage slowly roll into the mansion grounds.
“Ugh, so sleepy.”
“That's what happens when you've got money.”
I'm jealous of that kind of wealth.
‘So that's why they let the priests strut around so expensively?’
Even if they splurge, it's no real burden, so might as well go all out.
But if they slack on the job, they probably just boot them out flat.
“They're arriving now. Smiling and waving at that swarm of people... I'd die before I could ever be a celebrity.”
“Aren't you pretty famous yourself, Professor?”
“People outside don't go out of their way to recognize me. Why stare at a face that's already tiresome from school sightings all the way out there too?”
Ah. That's kinda sad.
“For now, Priest, please wait here. We'll go out to greet them.”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
Nipella Aoman and the count stepped out briefly. Eodukshini, which had been flung earlier and sluggishly reformed on my shoulder, wriggled its body.
“Why?”
“None of my business. I'm sitting tight 'cause they offered cash. And don't you go wandering off for no reason.”
Cliché city, man.
Isn't the cliché rushing out from impatience during a short wait and unknowingly flirting with the princess?
“……”
Eodukshini, spouting more bullshit, got flung again. I snorted as it splatted against the wall and flopped around.
“What a load of crap. Sorry, but I ain't keen on getting tangled up with folks left and right. Messy entanglements? Hard pass.”
“What's wrong with my face?”
Pretty average-looking, no?
I left the passed-out slime and turned my gaze to the door.
Minutes had passed since they left, but no sign of them returning.
‘Why the hold-up?’
Lost their way? Nah.
‘Something... feels weird...’
I poked my head out the window.
“Grrr...”
A black-furred beast stood in the courtyard, crimson eyes wide open.
It looked straight out of myth—like a yeti—with razor-sharp, massive claws sprouting from its paws. Standing upright on two legs, it was enormous.
‘What the hell's that doing here?’
More than that, though...
“Hm, a mana beast, eh. Wonder why it's here?”
“Yeah. Probably drawn by the principal's presence.”
Why are they chatting so casually?!
“Uh... Professor? Count?”
The clear, ringing voice was thick with bewilderment.
“Why're you all just standing there? Th-that mana beast...”
“No need to worry. You'll get used to it. Knights'll be here soon anyway, and to begin with...”
Nipella's voice was so gentle it bordered on sluggish—enough to make my insides crawl with impatience.
“The count's a pretty skilled kni...”
No, seriously—why just stand there?!
Hurry the fuck up already!
I couldn't hold back and leaped out the window.
Thud!
Landed right on the yeti's head.
“Grrr?”
The yeti craned its neck up. Before it could, I slammed my right foot down hard.
Kwachuk!
“Huh.”
Why's it so damn weak?
Blood, brains, and shattered bone sprayed as the yeti's head crumpled like mush.
The headless body pitched forward. And me, shifted onto its back, went tumbling with it.
Right before smashing into the ground—
“Stop.”
Nipella's staff waved, freezing the yeti's body mid-fall.
Gush-gush-gush!
...The blood kept pouring, though.
The courtyard soaked right through with gore.
“...Uh, Count. This okay?”
“Yes. Perfectly fine.”
I pulled a face. Unlike the count's calm tone, tears seemed to well in the corner of his eye.
“Why do you look like you're crying...?”
“No...”
No, your reaction's making me sad...
Muscle loss. Muscle loss.
“Just means the workout gear I left in the courtyard's drenched in blood and unusable for a few hours... that's all.”
“...Want the corpse? Mana beast bodies fetch good money, right?”
“Eh, one piece of equipment? I can just buy a new one.”
Whoa, attitude shift on diet-level speed. Talks big every day, flips in hours.
I brushed the blood off my clothes and hopped down from the corpse.
Knights and soldiers arrived late to haul it away, while the cleaning staff naturally got to scrubbing.
“Hm...”
“Uh...”
A brand-new face. First woman I'd seen in this world besides Arcana.
‘What do I even say to greet her?’
Good morning? No injuries? Nah, she looks unscathed at a glance...
‘Ugh. PTSD kicking in.’
Among the bullies who tormented me back then, plenty were girls alongside the guys. Unlike the boys' direct hits, their sneaky jabs made it way worse.
‘She seems a bit different from those bitches... maybe...’
She strode right up and grabbed both my hands.
Her face filled my view—slightly curly golden hair, silver eyes like the moon...
An idol-worthy look that made the hype click. But more than anything, those sparkling eyes were overwhelmingly intense.
“Are you the priest who nabbed that black mage?!”
“Y-yeah... that's me.”
“Nice to meet you! I'm Adria Madcond! I've been dying to see you!”
“???”
What?
The fuck is that supposed to mean?
“I super respect mages bulking up muscles, knights slinging spells, priests jumping into the fray themselves! So when I heard a priest swung a sword and took down a black mage personally...”
‘What is this mom energy?’
We'd barely exchanged words, but I could feel my sanity draining at warp speed.
“Ahem! Ahem!”
Sensing my cold sweat, maybe, Nipella cleared his throat.
“Shall we head inside to talk first?”
“I'm good!”
I'm not, you maniac.
“I'm not. And won't the others feel awkward working with the princess right here?”
“Oh, didn't think of that. Sorry! Let's go inside then?”
She bounced in excitedly, ass wiggling, and I let out a full sigh watching her go.
‘Shoulda just gone home.’
Got blinded by the cash.
How do you even talk to people? No—how do you talk to a woman?
Impossible problem. A total conundrum!
‘Arcana! Help me out!’
Yeah, useless as expected.
Arcana wasn't the social type to begin with—her circle was limited to my predecessor priests and a few gods, even if she did mingle.
No marriage, never even dated—a total romantic eunuch, by her own admission...
‘This is hopeless.’
Who do I even ask?
Still got time. She said she was changing—should take at least ten minutes. Even normals need prep time; idols probably more.
“Professor!”
“Hm? What's up?”
I asked Nipella, who was helping the cleaners with some clean-up magic.
“Know how to talk to girls?”
“Pardon?”
Nipella's face filled with bewilderment.
Even a prof finds this tough, huh...
“...They always come to me first, so I'm not sure myself.”
“...”
Disqualified.
“Count.”
“Yes?”
Spotted him heading back to his study and asked.
“Know how to talk to girls?”
“Talk to girls?”
I flinched hard. Blood tears streamed from the count's eyes.
“...Can't talk to other women on account of my wife.”
“Ah.”
“Any chit-chat with another woman outside 'work,' and this mansion turns into total chaos that day...”
The woes of a married man.
Circling back, it wound up being Eodukshini after all.
“Wanna die?”
“So, how do you talk to girls?”
Eodukshini—slime form and all—puffed out its chest proudly at my question.
Beast-brained... wait a sec.
‘Why was I treating her different from the start?’
Just people, same as anyone. Not my old bullies. Why overthink it?
Eodukshini hit with brutal facts got stomped flat into the floor.
I slapped both cheeks with a smack!
“Alright. Just normal!”
...But how do you do 'normal'?
“...Just talk, I guess?”
Whatever—probably like with Eodukshini, but toned down a notch?
With resolve set on my face, I strode into the room.
Three weeks later.
Sky Academy's entrance exam was infamous for its brutality.
No escaping it, not even for a celebrity idol like Adria.
Swish! Swish!
The first test checked basic physical prowess.
Adria yelped and ducked the arrows flying at her the instant she entered.
“Eek!”
Beep!
-1 Point Added
What kinda test starts like this!
Wearing a baffled look, she lifted her head. First things first, pinpoint where the arrows were coming from...
“?”
But why's that guy over there?
The spot where professors scouted promising students.
Eugene stood there, waving glowsticks in both hands.
“Fight-o! Fight-o! Fight fight! Winners' side, our side!”
Why the hell are you there?
Adria pointed at him and asked the proctor.
“...Why isn't that guy taking the exam?!”
“Special admission. Exam exempt.”
“...”