A Name for the Slime
"...Just when are you going to decide? It's already been four hours."
Nipella Aoman, who had been keeping a polite distance and just listening to our conversation, finally chimed in as the time dragged on too long.
I finally looked up. The clock on the wall pointed to 6 a.m.
"Already?"
"Yes. At this rate, we'll be up all night. Ah, the sun's already rising."
I figured something acidic would work fine.
But the shadow had zero interest in a name like that, now that things had come to this.
-I'm never using a name like that!
"A name like that?"
-......That kind of name...
He still seemed scared of me, but the fact that he was protesting so boldly meant he really hated it.
In the end, I racked my brain as hard as I could. And then—ding! A perfect name popped into my head.
"How about Eodukshini?"
-Eodukshini? What's that?
"It's from an old folk belief. A kind of demon that grows by feeding on people's fears."
That's when the principal, lurking in the corner, jumped into the conversation.
-Hold on. Something like Pegasus would be better...
"Principal."
-?
"You agreed not to butt into our conversation."
Heaven slime, celestial slime, holy slime...
The principal, who had naming sense on par with mine, ended up getting kicked out mid-discussion.
"So just stay over there."
-......
He looked pathetic, huddled in the corner scratching at the floor with his finger, but none of us spared him a glance.
I noticed the slime's body twitch slightly. He liked it.
But he was a pro negotiator who'd shot down every suggestion for hours, and he pounced on the opening.
-My body's white, though?
"Then Acidic it is."
-Eodukshini it is!
Of course, tricks like that didn't work on me.
"Good. From now on, your name is Eodukshini."
Flash!
At that moment, light burst from the slime's body.
The light wove together, stretching out like threads.
The threads of light connected to the bond linking me and the slime, thickening it further.
The slime burst into sobs.
-It's... it's binding me more!
"Welcome, slave."
-Waaah! My life's ruined! Waaaaaah!
Did you have to say it right in front of him?
* * *
-Ughhh...
The puffy-eyed Eodukshini was perched on my shoulder.
I'd planned to tuck him in my robes, but with the sword already inside, there was no room.
Vrrr!
I hadn't noticed because it was secured, but the sword was humming like mad.
'Why wasn't this getting through before?'
Slip it in a bit, and the vibrations stopped.
Pull it out? It went berserk again.
"You, stay in there."
Vrrr! Vrr...
The sword, which had thrashed like it didn't want to go in, was finally locked away.
Like a feral dog getting a collar forced on it, it radiated hostility toward the principal.
The principal ignored it completely and continued.
-I should head back soon. I've been away much longer than expected.
"Why? Something wrong?"
-I can't stay away from the academy for too long. You'll understand eventually.
I shrugged.
"Guess I'll see you at the entrance exam then?"
-Pretty much. You don't need to worry about it anyway.
"?"
-?
A question mark floated over my head. Same for the principal.
That's when Nipella cleared his throat with a ahem! and stepped forward.
"Priest, you've been directly invited by the principal, so no entrance exam needed. Think of it as special admission."
"Won't that cause controversy?"
"It might if there were issues with skill or character... but the academy needs top talent right now. Your level should smooth it over fine."
"...You're not saying I have character issues, right?"
"I wouldn't know."
This guy?
-Anyway, you'll be treated differently from regular students. Not fully exempt from rules, but you'll get perks and honors.
"Oh. Can I bring my weapon too?"
I pulled the sword from my robes and held it up.
The moment it spotted the lich, the two embedded gems vibrated wildly, going full tantrum mode.
Vrrr! Vrr-vrrr! Vrrrrrr!
The principal eyed the madly buzzing sword with a troubled expression.
Hard to read on bones, but I could picture it.
-......That might be a problem.
"Can't I?"
-As long as it's not a divine relic, national treasure, or heirloom...
"Performance is about the same. Want to check it out?"
Vrrr!
"Quit it. Or I'll smash you."
Vrr! Vrr-vrr!
Like it was mocking me: Try it!
Damn, this thing.
If Arcana hadn't given it to me herself, I'd have shattered it on the spot.
As I trembled with rage, the principal—who'd been eyeing the sword from a distance—widened his eye sockets.
-Hold on. That sword... don't tell me...
"?"
He shuddered like he'd seen something he shouldn't have.
-H-how do you have that..
"You know what it is?"
-N-no idea.
"Liar. You totally do."
-I don't know! Anyway, that sword's a no-go! Banned!
Nipella slipped in smoothly.
"Actually, principal's wishes aside, weapons are allowed. Just sign a contract not to misuse it, and the 'weapon aptitude test' at enrollment won't detect alternatives."
-Professor Nipella! Whose side are you on?!
"The talented students', obviously."
-......
The principal went silent as a clam.
Huh. That's a professor for you.
I nodded with satisfaction.
"So that's settled?"
-Hey!
"Looking forward to it, principal."
-......Professor. Head back now. See you later. Or not.
"Ahem! Ahem!"
The principal shot Nipella a venomous glare from his sockets, then floated out the window.
The lich's receding figure drifted into the sunset sky until it vanished.
At the same moment, the stuffy air cleared.
I hadn't realized how oppressive it was until it lifted.
"Haa..."
I exhaled the pent-up breath and straightened my disheveled priest robes.
He's the real deal.
But kinda... clumsy.
Eh, good's good.
All in all, I'd scored big, so I decided to think positive.
"Can I head out now?"
I asked the Karma Count, who'd been standing there invisibly until now.
He looked apologetic.
"Sorry, priest... Someone else still wants to meet you. Should be here soon."
Can't we do it later?
I'd played it cool, but remaking Eodukshini and facing a lich on a whole other level had worn me out.
"How about next time..."
"Of course, we'll compensate you properly for your time."
"When's she coming? I can wait patiently forever."
I plopped down on the sofa obediently.
-Y-you... money-grubber...
Thwack!
-Kyaaak!
* * *
It was noisy outside.
I peeked out the window. My eyes went wide as saucers.
What the hell is that?
A fancy carriage wrapped in brilliant lights was approaching the mansion.
Not horse-drawn—this was a mana-powered automobile. Just a different word for it.
And the crowd? They swarmed like it was spraying pheromones or something.
What, a Pied Piper carriage?
"Waaaaah! It's the princess!"
Princess?
"Professor. The princess—is she the emperor's daughter I think she is?"
"Yes. The 10th princess, Adria Madcond. She's blowing up as an idol right now."
Whoa...
"Why's someone like that coming to see me? Did word get out that I'm the War God's priest? Even stray dogs would know."
"No. The imperial family will clamp it down before it spreads. They fear the War God most of all."
......What the hell did he do?
Did he hold a knife to the emperor's throat or something?
If the emperor blasphemed, it'd be justified.
No—chopping his head off wouldn't be enough.
"Why's the princess coming personally? With all that cheering?"
"Officially... to congratulate the count's official heir on beating his illness. The count invests in her."
The Karma Count nodded.
"Princess Adria lacks strong imperial qualities... but she's got plenty for an idol career. Worth the investment."
"How old?"
"Same as you, priest. She's due to enter the academy this year too."
Same age? And a popular idol?
"......Talent carries."
"......Not something you should say."
"Eh, I'm pretty average."
"?"
"?"
The Karma Count and Nipella gave me looks like what bullshit is this? but I ignored them.
I'm average, relatively speaking.
"So why does she want to meet me?"
"Mm... We contained the info, but word's out you're a physical-type priest. She's interested in that—and your similar age."
Nipella added,
"People who walk unique paths tend to seek out kindred spirits."
Like building rapport?
I didn't get it.
I couldn't afford friends to empathize with.
Outcasts can't have other outcasts. More victims? Hell no.
It had to end with me.
"Dunno if I get it. But she wants to meet anyway?"
"Yes. And you won't hate it. She's... quite the beauty."
"Pretty or not, she's 17—what's that gonna..."
I trailed off.
This world was like Earth but different. Mana and auras were real; bloodlines proved their worth.
The current emperor was famously handsome.
Married to him? Gotta be a knockout. And an idol to boot...
Hm.
Even back home, some kids were stunningly pretty young.
-......Pervy money-grub.
I straightened up. Eodukshini grumbled from my shoulder.
I said flatly,
"I'm a virgin."
-......
"What. Why."