Morning After the Storm
I had already been having a ridiculous amount of sex, but if my sexual luck grew any stronger than this, I might end up doing nothing but eating and fucking all day. That in itself sounded incredibly desirable, but running into a real yandere would be a problem. And even without going to such extremes, it was entirely possible that the ex-boyfriend or ex-husband of one of the women I’d claimed would show up to smash my skull in.
‘…Ah, whatever. If I’m going to worry about that, I shouldn’t have fucked them in the first place.’
I worried for a moment, but in the end, my conclusion was simple: let things happen as they would. If I spent all my time worrying about the future, I wouldn’t be able to do anything at all. Even if I stayed locked up at home, a random murderer could still break in—so if I was that scared, I might as well just die safely right now.
‘Yeah. I’ll just keep living however the hell I want. I’ve already come way too far to turn back now.’
If I was going to stop just because it was dangerous, I never should have started this life. Since I was going to live, I wanted to live so flashily that even if I died tomorrow, it would still look cool. And if something could be prevented through preparation, then I’d somehow get through it even without preparing. On the other hand, if something was going to happen no matter how much I prepared, then it would happen no matter what I did. So instead of worrying about the future, the answer was to focus on my current life. I didn’t know about other people, but at least that was my conclusion.
“Mm. As expected. Mental management is important.”
Once I thought about it lightly, even the eerie messages inside my phone felt much less heavy. With light, cheerful movements, I closed The World is Money and Women app and opened my banking app. Since Mihyun had passed out twice during sex, I was expecting quite the impressive result.
“Khh~~~ There it is.”
I had slightly hoped it would break ten billion, but the actual amount that had come in was close to thirty billion. Toward the end, when I had lost my mind and was wildly thrusting my hips, Mihyun must have been drowning in an ocean of pleasure herself. Ever since I gained the Hand of God, my pleasure stats had been skyrocketing like crazy. Now a single round of sex easily netted me at least a billion won by default. There was the downside that the women kept passing out from excessive pleasure, but the amount of money I sucked in until they did was so enormous that it was still worth it.
As promised, I sent Mihyun a hundred million won. Unlocking my account transfer limit was insanely annoying, so I had considered just going to the bank tomorrow to handle it. But sending it cleanly while she was asleep felt much cooler, so I gritted my teeth, completed all the annoying authentications, and transferred the promised amount. Including the price of the fellatio, I had given her a total of one hundred and ten million won. Still, thanks to her I had earned well over two billion, so it was nothing but pure profit. On top of that, I had won five “Free Sex Passes” during our bet, so today’s session with Mihyun had truly been a full gift set.
‘Heh heh. She’s going to be shocked when she wakes up tomorrow, isn’t she?’
Imagining Mihyun waking up, gasping at the spicy taste of money, and throwing herself into my arms, I lay down beside her. Having had such a satisfying round of sex, sleep came easily.
‘Mm… Tomorrow I definitely have to destroy her with morning sex… The second she sees the money and goes crazy, I’ll fuck her right then and there… An active Mihyun is something to look forward to.’
Thinking about tomorrow’s sex plans, I fell asleep. Of course, at that moment I had no idea what would happen the next day. I had no clue how the catastrophic ability of I Am a Sex Lucky Guy would twist fate and bring forth what kind of storm.
Whiiiiir— Whiiiiir—.
“Ah, fuck…”
A thick curse automatically spilled from my mouth. Other than when I was having sex or playing games, I didn’t like spitting out crude swear words without any refinement, but this was truly unbearable. My body felt heavy and sluggish, and my head was pounding. Judging by this shitty physical condition, it had to be before nine in the morning. Since starting my life as a retaker, this was the first time I had woken up this early.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
With my eyes still closed, I reached out and patted the table right beside the bed with my palm. After doing that a few times, I managed to grab the vibrating phone. Even with my eyes closed, judging by the familiar feel, this was definitely my phone.
‘Who the hell is it? There shouldn’t be anyone calling me at this hour.’
If it was Yeonju or Sieun, I would let it slide, but if it was anyone else, our relationship would end right here. Waking me up at the crack of dawn after I couldn’t even get a proper night’s sleep following sex was no light sin.
“Hello.”
“Ah, you finally picked up. Are you the owner of the Porsche with plate number XXXX?”
“Yes, that’s me. Who is this?”
“Ah~ This is the Seoul Gangnam Police Station.”
At the words “police station,” my eyes snapped open and I shot upright. I didn’t know what it was about, but just hearing it was the police station made my head throb with a bad feeling. Starting the day with a call from the police station was a first, and the feeling was absolutely wonderful.
“What’s going on at the police station?”
“Ah. The Porsche vehicle you own has been damaged. Could you possibly stop by the station for a moment?”
“Damaged… meaning someone wrecked it?”
“Yes, yes. We received a report early this morning and dispatched officers. There’s damage to the hood and headlights. From the numerous shoe prints on the hood, it looks like someone climbed on top of the vehicle and jumped up and down on it.”
Squeeze—.
My rising blood pressure made me grip the phone tightly. While I had been sleeping peacefully, something so horrible had happened to my cute little Bumblebee.
‘Ah, shit. Whoever the bastard is, he’s dead for real.’
It seemed someone had mistaken my Bumblebee for a trampoline and had a grand old time jumping on it. I didn’t know which crazy fucker had used my Porsche as a bouncy castle, but I definitely wanted to crush them.
“I’m a bit busy right now. If I hire a lawyer, would it be okay for them to appear in my place and give a statement?”
“Excuse me? Ah, yes. It’s possible, but… most lawyers probably won’t do that. Having someone give a statement in place of the actual party isn’t an easy thing to…”
It might not be easy, but as long as it was possible, it didn’t matter. Whether I called a double or a triple, they would handle everything. No matter how angry I was and how much I wanted to catch the culprit and give them a proper education, going to the police station myself was annoying. Not only was it annoying, but if I spent that time having morning sex with Mihyun, I could earn at least several hundred million won. Going to the station in person would be an idiotic waste of time. In the end, for pocket change, the lawyer would take care of everything anyway.
“Ah, I’ll handle that part myself. Should I tell them to contact this number regarding the case?”
“Yes, yes. That would be fine.”
“Understood.”
Click—.
I hung up the phone and immediately got out of bed to wash my face. The cold water hitting my face helped cool down the heat that had risen. I patted my face dry with a towel, gulped down a bottle of water from the minibar, then pulled a business card out of my wallet. It was the dealer’s card I had received when I bought the Porsche. I dialed the number on the card, explained the situation to the dealer, and asked if he knew any lawyers. Fortunately, he gave a positive response. When I called the number he gave me, I heard the calm and intelligent voice of a woman. Just from her voice alone, I could instantly tell she had a high IQ. It was an extremely intellectual tone.
“This is Attorney Yu Inyeong.”
“Yes. Hello, Attorney. The reason I’m calling is…”
I explained the situation to the lawyer and asked her to appear in my place. However, just as the police officer had said, the lawyer’s reaction was lukewarm. But since I had expected that, I didn’t back down and immediately went into cash magic.
“No matter how busy you are, appearing in person to give your statement will ultimately be more convenient for you.”
“How much do you usually charge? If you handle the proxy statement as well, I’ll pay you double—actually, triple.”
“No, it’s not a matter of money, procedurally—”
“I’ll just pay you ten times. If you can’t, I’ll find another lawyer.”
“…Do you even know how much ten times would be?”
“Well, around a hundred million, right?”
“No, that’s not quite—”
“Then it’s fine. I’ll pay ten times, so please do it.”
“If you insist that much… understood.”
Even the intellectual-sounding Attorney Yu Inyeong couldn’t resist cash magic. I followed her instructions, filled out the documents she emailed me, faxed them back to her, and immediately wired the retainer fee to her account. At this point, anything less than a hundred million was basically pocket change to me, so spending any amount below that didn’t even register.
“Whew…”
Once the situation was handled, a sigh naturally escaped me. An unexpected disaster had appeared, but I felt proud that I had handled it excellently. Well, all I had really done was make a few calls and throw money around, but that was more than enough.
‘Thrilling. Cash magic really is the best.’
In a market economy, you needed to have a lot of money. You could even buy time with it. With the time I bought, I could just enjoy sex and make more money. That was the ultimate win.
“Mmm… Haaam…”
Mihyun was finally waking up and stretching. Every time she stretched her arms and legs, her enormous breasts jiggled, and my rationally functioning brain immediately shut down as my dick took control. I had originally planned to wait until she checked the hundred million I deposited yesterday before having sex again, but the plan changed. I was too horny to hold back.
“Wake up, Noona. Hurry.”
“Huuung. Whyyy. I’m so tired…”
“Why? We’re having sex, obviously.”
“…Hmph. Who’s going to do it? Me?”
The moment she woke up, Mihyun started acting spoiled. It was quite fierce, but it didn’t work on me at all.
“Do you remember the bet we made yesterday?”
“…Huh?”
“I’m using one Free Sex Pass right now.”
“Wait… just a secon—”
I unilaterally declared it and climbed onto the bed. Like a lion stalking its prey, I crawled forward on all fours. Mihyun tried to escape, slowly scooting backward.
“Nooo… from the morning… if you do this…”
“It’s morning, so it’s even better. Refreshing.”
“That’s good for you… but I… after what you did to me yesterday… Wait! Just wait—!”
“Nope. We’re having sex.”
“Eut…!! Heut…!!”
Squish. Squish.
I crawled across the long bed and finally grabbed Mihyun’s breasts. The moment I held them, thoughts of the police station and the car damage completely vanished. I was falling deeper and deeper into the drug that was Kim Mihyun’s breasts.
“Heung… Haa… I said wait… You’re so mean… Heut!! Uugh… You’re always… always just touching my breasts… Eut…!!”
Mihyun’s breast therapy was the best. Even someone suffering from depression would be instantly cured the moment they touched them. The more I groped them, the more my head cleared and my blood circulation improved.
Squeeze, knead, grope, massage.
I cast off all the shackles and restraints of this world and set off on a journey to the Land of Milk first thing in the morning.
I had an intense morning sex session with Mihyun. She passed out again, and I went back to sleep to catch up on rest. Eventually the front desk called to ask about checkout, so we slowly got up, washed lightly, and checked out right away. Mihyun took a taxi home, while I took one to the used car dealership I had visited before. I needed something to drive while the Porsche was being repaired. Renting would have been enough, but since something like this might happen again, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to buy another car if something caught my eye.
While texting with Mihyun, I quickly arrived at the dealership. I took the dealer uncle I had become acquainted with when buying the Porsche and wandered among the countless foreign cars. Whether it was because I had been here before or because I now had so much money, the impression I got was completely different from last time. Before, every single one had looked incredibly impressive. Now they all just looked like toys. Among all those toys, I picked the one that looked the most like a toy and bought it. It was an entry-level Lamborghini model, but the thing looked more like an aircraft or a spaceship than a car. I was worried there were too many buttons inside and it would be inconvenient to drive, but after hearing the explanation, it wasn’t that difficult. There were tons of features, but the car moved perfectly fine with just the steering wheel and accelerator. Plus, the scissor doors opened in a really cool way.
When I paid the full amount in cash from my account like before, the dealer treated me like an emperor, serving me with utmost respect. It was a bit burdensome, but not unpleasant. Ring—.
After finishing the contract and receiving the key, I started the car and my phone rang. The number that popped up was Attorney Yu Inyeong.
“Yes, Attorney.”
“The suspects are at the station writing their statements. Would you like to come in?”
“Ah, I’ll be there. I want to see their faces at least once… It’ll take me about thirty minutes.”
“Understood.”