Just Let Me Win Once, Seriously

A single figure sat silently in front of the computer.

She... had been staring blankly at the monitor for a long time.

Why was that?

All she had to do was click the single button to start the stream.

Yet, even at such a simple action, the girl with the beautifully shining silver hair and crimson eyes hesitated to move, like a child too afraid of the water to play in the pool.

Seriously, why am I acting so frustratingly?

"..."

If I had to answer my own question, the biggest reason was that I was worried about starting the stream.

Beyond worried, I was terrified.

The thought of casually starting the stream scared me, and I wanted to run away.

Honestly, my heart was pounding so hard that saying I wasn't worried would be a flat-out lie.

In fact, I felt more anxious and nervous than I did during my very first broadcast.

Because, in a way, I ran away without even saying thank you after receiving a massive donation of one million won, just because I was tired.

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Even to me, it felt like I had completely thrown my manners out the window.

Of course, I knew it was their choice to donate. Even if they regretted it, taking it out on me wasn't something a normal person would do. I knew I was the weird one for being scared of this.

But that single word, what if, kept terrifying me.

What if people curse at me, saying my attitude is trash?

What if they're disappointed that I didn't even say thank you, and they never come back to my stream?

Useless worries—or perhaps worries that could actually happen—made it difficult for me to even turn on the broadcast.

Because that was the kind of person I originally was.

A hopeless person who, before doing anything, would only think of the worst-case scenarios and end up not moving at all.

But.

In the past, I would have ended up doing nothing, using the excuse that I couldn't move my legs, or that I was just that kind of person anyway.

I would have blamed myself for everything and given up.

But I'm different from back then. I have to be different.

Now that my outward appearance was flawless, there was no reason to look for excuses to give up like before.

So, I wouldn't hesitate any longer.

...Whew.

I calmed my trembling hands and ragged breathing, then clicked the stream button.

"..."

Seeing the chat scroll by so actively, it seemed all the worries holding me back were completely unnecessary.

Instead, they chatted as if they had been waiting for me, and the atmosphere quickly fell into its usual, familiar pattern.

...Thank goodness, seriously.

I turned on my microphone and responded to their greetings.

"I'm here."

Yes, indeed.

This body even had a beautiful voice.

With that voice, I gave a timid greeting of "I'm here" to the 300 people who had gathered in an instant.

This was the tiny ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠step forward that I, having resolved to change even just a little, could manage.

...Of all times, a donation flew in with a username that grated on my nerves at my most sensitive moment.

Hardstuck Diamond, my ass.

Are you kidding me?

Even if I had a rough patch of a 12-game losing streak yesterday, I was someone who always managed to park my account right below the highest tier.

There was no way Diamond was my actual skill level.

"Of course."

I suppressed my rising anger at the nickname "Hardstuck Diamond"—which was basically calling me trash at the game—and replied to the donation.

A pledge to break the losing streak no matter what.

Just watch.

I'll show you something insane.

This game... this godforsaken game...

From the very beginning...

Was it just fundamentally broken...?

"No. No way... *Sigh*."

A sigh escaped my lips automatically. I lost again. We had basically won that game, and we fucking threw it again.

Fucking hell. Seriously, why is this happening to me? I can't even curse properly because I'm streaming.

"This has to be a lie..."

...Unlike me, who couldn't accept the reality before my eyes, the viewers seemed to be having a blast.

People giving feedback, people cheering me on... and people trying to recruit me to other lanes.

It felt like I had walked into a party where all sorts of weirdos had gathered to celebrate my losing streak.

Bastards...

I want to force them to sit in my chair and play...

How was I supposed to win that last game as a ranged dealer anyway?

In the past, back when romance still breathed in this game, I was confident I could force a win no matter what ranged dealer I picked.

But these fucking developers...

Under the pretext of balancing for pro play or whatever, they kept chipping away at the ranged dealer's carry potential until carrying became impossible.

And even when I positioned forward out of a desperate desire to win just one game, nobody followed up.

How am I supposed to win a game like this...

"Ugh..."

Unable to speak my mind, I just quietly stared at the game's post-match screen and the chat.

"...Thank you for the ten thousand won."

Just then, the familiar sound of a donation alert rang out.

The sound of a donation healing my wounded heart.

...Sticking to it, huh.

I don't know if I'd call it stubbornness.

To me, having played this game for so long, the ranged dealer role was romance itself.

Like I said earlier, it used to be the only role that could sweep and carry the entire game alone. Above all, it was the role my hands were most familiar with.

Of course, those weren't the only reasons. Being able to play the game solo was barely ten percent of it.

"It's just..."

The main reason I refused to change roles was, after all...

"Ranged dealer characters are pretty, aren't they?"

It was simply because they were pretty.

The characters are cute, have big chests, and are beautiful. That's more than enough.

In the first place, the roster was so wide that about thirty out of the forty ranged dealer characters were female. They all had youthful looks that weebs like me would absolutely die for, which is why I've spent eight years playing the ranged dealer role in this game.

Even the character Ruby I was playing just now was one of those characters I picked up simply because she was pretty.

Besides, the female characters in other roles...

They all look like middle-aged women over thirty, and they're definitely not virgins.

So, there's no way I'm switching to another role.

Unless they release a new character who is a silver-haired, crimson-eyed virgin.

"...Please don't fight."

*My stream isn't a gladiator arena, you trash viewers...*

*Sigh.*

I queued up for another match of this shitty game.

Please.

Seriously, just let me get one win.

Please, please, please, please.