One Night
The night air felt heavy, thick with the scent of aged wine and unspoken truths.
“Haha. I see…”
I smiled weakly and filled my empty glass. After wetting my dry lips with the crimson liquid, I continued slowly.
“My aunt, Baroness Turen, is one of the most renowned interior decorators in the empire. Ever since she served as the Empress’s chief lady-in-waiting, she has been responsible for decorating the Imperial Palace and changing the porcelain and tableware according to the seasons.”
“……”
“My friend Rose has no talent for music, but her artistic skills are exceptional. She majored in restoration art at the imperial academy. If any murals in the Imperial Palace or artworks in the Temple are damaged, Rose will eventually step in to restore them.”
“……”
“But I… I have nothing I can do except read books. My grandfather and great-aunt told me that I was not meant to be a charming noblewoman, but a respected empress. So they made me study politics and academics day and night from a very young age.”
“……”
“That’s why I don’t possess any charm that could capture people’s hearts. All my life, I’ve only gone back and forth between the duke’s estate and the Imperial Palace, discussing metaphysical topics. Because of that, I can never have it. The kind of power that makes you feel truly alive.”
Had I said too much? Once the words left my mouth, a sudden wave of anxiety washed over me. Until now, I had only shown him a sharp and dignified side. What if Illid was disappointed by this weak, vulnerable version of me?
Illid’s gaze and body remained turned toward me. His blue eyes rested on the side of my face as I stared out at the dark sky.
“No one in this Imperial Palace could ever replace you. Vitality and charm may be substituted by someone else, but the time you spent striving to become a member of the imperial family… no one could ever imitate that.”
“Do you really think so?”
I turned my head to look at Illid, who sat beside me. He nodded with eyes full of conviction.
“That maid may receive His Majesty’s favor, but she can never possess the time you and His Majesty have shared, nor the memories you’ve built together.”
The certainty in Illid’s voice was unmistakable. I was grateful for it, yet at the same time, a sharp ache pierced my heart. Before I knew it, my gaze had dropped.
“And…”
Illid trailed off for a moment, then leaned down so our eyes could meet. At this slightly lower angle, his eyes caught the moonlight streaming through the window and glowed with a soft, ethereal light.
Illid gave me a gentle smile. It was the expression I loved most. Without thinking, I found myself smiling back.
“That sounds nice. The way you say my name, Your Grace.”
I leaned my head deeply against the sofa and gazed at him. Illid held my eyes in return.
“Say it again.”
I asked him in a small voice. In my own way, I had gathered what little courage the wine had given me.
Illid let out a quiet laugh and reached out toward me. His long fingers gently cupped my cheek.
“Once more.”
His low voice calling my name. The touch of his hand caressing my cheek. The gaze that was directed only at me. Everything felt unbearably tender and beautiful.
I set the glass in my hand down without care. Red wine spilled from the overturned glass, soaking into the white cushion.
I stretched both arms around Illid’s neck. The moment my trembling fingertips touched his body, my heart began to beat faster and faster. Illid slowly drew closer, leaning down until our bodies nearly touched.
I closed my eyes softly. I wasn’t sure who moved first. When our breaths mingled, the kiss began.
It was soft, yet insistent. A sweetness that devoured even the slightest hesitation. A dizziness that made me forget how to breathe. And a strange, unfamiliar sensation I had never felt before spread throughout my entire body.
“Ah…”
A small moan slipped out between our slightly parted lips. Everywhere his hands and arms touched burned as if flowers of flame had bloomed beneath my skin.
But I didn’t want to let go. Not this moment we were sharing, nor the time that would come after. I didn’t want to lose even a single second.
I opened my eyes just a little and looked at him. In his steady gaze, I could feel that he felt the same.
The moment his voice calling my name reached my ears, I closed my eyes again. Illid kissed me once more. This time deeper, our lips pressed so closely together that there was no room to escape.
I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move. With his body pressing against mine without the slightest gap, I could only surrender everything to him.
Illid’s long fingers wrapped around my back and waist. My body slowly tilted until my waist, shoulders, and head rested against the sofa.
I couldn’t tell whether the small flame of the scented candle was flickering, or if it was my wine-dazed vision that was trembling.
From the moment his firm chest pressed against mine and his lips touched my neck, I remembered nothing more.
It was a night when the moon and stars shone unusually bright. The deep darkness pouring through the window settled gently over me and him.
“……?!”
Unease always arrived without warning.
My eyes flew open on their own, and at the same time, I heard birds chirping. Sunlight spilled across my face; it seemed to be morning.
But…
Why does everything feel so strange?
The texture of the bed felt unfamiliar, and even the air around me was wrong. And that ceiling… My own room had a constellation painted on it, but what stretched above me now was some kind of map.
A map. Map… map…?
No way…
Goosebumps raced down my spine as I bolted upright in bed. When I looked around, I saw enormous circular bookshelves encircling me.
Thousands of books and scented candles greeted me. This place, which looked like a grand library, was definitely not my room.
“W-what is this…?”
I was so shocked I could barely speak. I didn’t know what to do. My mind felt broken; I couldn’t form a single coherent thought or judgment.
“Huh…?”
While I was looking around like a madwoman, I caught sight of my reflection in a mirror.
Why were my shoulders so bare? I lifted the blanket and looked down at myself. The only thing covering my body was a thin silk slip.
“……?”
This had to be a dream. It was a dream, right? It had to be.
As I desperately tried to deny reality, I heard the heavy sound of a door opening behind me. Without thinking, I turned my head toward it.
“Oh, you’re awake?”
Illid, wearing a bathrobe, was drying his wet hair. There was a strange, playful glint in his eyes as he looked at me.
I collapsed back onto the bed as if I’d been struck down.
This is a dream. A dream. A nightmare. It’s a nightmare.
I pulled the blanket over my head and tried with all my might to deny what was happening. But the scent of him lingering on the sheets and the unfamiliar feel of the bedding urged me to accept reality as quickly as possible.
I peeked just my eyes out from under the blanket and looked at the long sofa. An empty wine bottle and glasses lay scattered about. The white cushion soaked with wine bore a distinct red stain.
Ah…!
The events of last night on that sofa flashed through my mind like a panorama. I had told him about His Majesty the Emperor and my past, and then…
Yes, caught up in that strange atmosphere, we had kissed. And I remembered leaning back on the sofa with him, but the problem was…
I can’t remember anything after that.
I felt like I was going insane. It was as if someone had carved out my memories; nothing came to mind. Given how bare my body felt, something… surely something more must have happened afterward…
“Are you alright? Would you like a glass of water?”
Illid’s voice came from near the desk beside the bed. Embarrassment, unbearable anxiety, and shame crashed over me all at once. I turned toward him, still only showing my eyes.
“We… nothing happened, right?”
“Nothing…?”
Illid tilted his head while still drying his damp hair.
“I mean… that… um…”
My whole body felt like it was burning with mortification. I felt like I should say more, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“We didn’t… make a mistake or anything, did we?”
I squeezed out the greatest courage of my life and barely managed to ask.
Please say no.
I looked at him with desperate eyes. But…
“Pardon…?”
Illid smiled in a way I couldn’t quite read, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. It wasn’t his usual neat, proper smile; this one carried a strangely mischievous edge.
Oh no. I’m finished.
In that brief moment, a thousand thoughts flooded my mind.
How could I ever face the people in the Imperial Palace again? Gossip spread like wildfire here. The rumor would surely reach the entire capital, and perhaps even the whole empire.
Suddenly, the face of my great-aunt, Marchioness Lilche, flashed before my eyes. She had told me so firmly that I must choose the emperor over any other man. If she found out about this, she would fly into a rage. Just imagining her storming about in fury sent chills down my spine.
Once thoughts of my grandmother faded, Hellion came to mind next.
If Hellion becomes crown prince… I’ll have to marry him…
No matter how political the marriage might be, this was an impossible situation. I was imagining all the tragic endings that could come from this when—
Illid spoke again.
“……?”
I stared up at him blankly, wondering what he meant. Then he winked at me with a playful expression. Only then did understanding slowly dawn on me.
This man… was he teasing me right now?