Live Like the Dead
The expression on my face darkened, and Illid quickly added an explanation.
“Logically speaking, that servant’s background poses no threat whatsoever to Your Grace the Duchess. If anything, it is a fatal weakness he must conceal.”
“That is true.”
“Nevertheless, the fact that it continues to trouble Your Grace may stem from a premonition that he might one day seek revenge against you.”
Just as Illid said, I too had instinctively harbored doubts about her from the very first moment we met.
That perhaps she had come looking for me to avenge what happened to her predecessor.
Yet far from seeking revenge, she was in such a wretched state that merely surviving each day seemed an overwhelming burden. In contrast, I possessed the power to dispose of her at any time I wished.
Caught between suspicion and pity toward her, I had chosen the latter. After all, I was strong enough to afford such mercy.
Therefore, even if I made the same choice again now, there would be no problem.
Whether she became His Majesty’s maid, the head maid, or even something greater than that, she could never become my equal.
Besides, the Karina I had observed until now was a clever and diligent child. Even when assigned the filthy work of the stables, she had never once complained and performed her duties with sincerity.
I knew full well how grueling stable work was for a woman. So it would be fine to show her a little more compassion. Especially if doing so served His Majesty the Emperor.
“People’s imaginations often race far ahead of reality. It is entirely possible that servant has never even considered revenge.”
Illid spoke again, his voice cautious.
“In trying to read too many moves ahead, both you and I risk missing the single move right before our eyes.”
“Yes… that is true.”
“Duchess. Do you trust His Majesty?”
“I do.”
I answered his question without the slightest hesitation.
“Then it should be fine to trust His Majesty and assign her to him. His Majesty’s trust is the greatest strength of all.”
His Majesty’s trust. At those few words from Illid, the heavy burden that had tormented me all day seemed to lift, if only a little.
“Thank you, Archduke Illid. Thanks to you, my heart feels much lighter.”
Only then could I relax my serious expression and offer an awkward smile. Illid’s face, which had grown dark along with mine, brightened a little as well.
“Do not worry too much, Duchess. Nothing will happen. And though it may be improper for a member of the imperial family to say this…”
Illid took one step closer to me. He slowly leaned down and whispered in a low voice.
His blue eyes, slightly lowered, soothed me as if to say everything would be all right. His warmly smiling lips, his calm voice—every part of him comforted my weary heart.
Come to think of it, this was the first time I had faced him from such close proximity. When I unconsciously averted my gaze, Illid gently reached out and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
“Thank you. For sharing with me a story that must have been uncomfortable to speak of.”
Now Illid and I were close enough to feel each other’s body heat.
My heart was pounding wildly. It raced so fast I worried he might notice.
Yet I did not dislike it. I did not want to push him away. This moment spent with him felt so thrilling and precious.
Slowly, I raised my hand and placed it on his waist. I rested my head against his chest and gently closed my eyes.
I was happy.
For the first time since Primos died.
“He’s coming… He’s not… He’s coming… He’s not… He’s coming…!”
The last leaf fell onto the thick pile of medicinal herbs. Though she had received the fortune she wanted, Karina’s expression remained sour.
“Strange… By now there should have been some news…”
It had already been a full week since the Emperor visited the stables. She had held high hopes after he asked so many questions about medicinal herbs and tea, yet there had been complete silence from the main palace.
“My chest feels so heavy. My body isn’t doing well either. Why is stable work so exhausting day after day? I should be used to it by now…”
During her long years of wandering, Karina had taken on any job that came her way. Even so, stable work never seemed to suit her body.
The only thing that washed away her fatigue was looking into the gentle, beautiful eyes of the horses. That was the only strength keeping her going.
Karina put a single herb leaf between her lips, leaned back against a haystack, and gazed up at the vivid blue sky.
The sky was so blue it stung the eyes. Yet her heart remained as dark and stifled as if covered by storm clouds.
“Karina, what are you doing here?”
At the sudden male voice, Karina turned her head. It was Roger, one of the stable hands.
“Ah, hello, Mister Roger.”
Karina greeted him brightly. Roger plopped down beside her and naturally draped an arm around her shoulders.
“The weather’s nice. Want to go up the mountain behind the palace and have some fun?”
“No, haha. I’ve been rather busy lately…”
Karina trailed off awkwardly and gently brushed his arm away. But Roger went even further, reaching out to toy with her silver hair.
“Have you thought about my proposal? You won’t find a man as good as me anywhere else, you know?”
“Ahaha… haha…”
At the mention of marriage, Karina looked extremely uncomfortable, smiling awkwardly with no idea what to do.
She looked exactly like an innocent, naive young maid.
When she makes that pure, clueless face, I should hurry up and snatch her for marriage.Roger could not tear his eyes away from her, finding even that expression lovable.
“Karina, no matter how many herbs you offer His Majesty, do you really think your life will change that much? In the end, a maid’s life is just a maid’s life. So stop wasting your energy on pointless things and just marry me already.”
Once again, Karina only lowered her brows in a troubled expression and gave no reply.
Of all the hardships of stable life, the most unbearable was Roger’s harassment. However, as a mere low-ranking maid, Karina had no power to resist him.
Just as she was growing exhausted from his persistent advances, an unfamiliar voice suddenly rang out above her head.
“Are you the maid named Karina?”
When she turned, she saw a middle-aged man dressed far more neatly than the dirty stable hands. He appeared to be someone of fairly high rank among the imperial servants.
“Ah, yes, yes. I am Karina.”
Startled, Karina hurriedly straightened her posture and bowed politely.
“I am Head Butler Derek. Pack your things and come with me at once.”
The head butler commanded her.
“By order of Her Grace the Duchess of Wintera, your affiliation will be transferred from the stables to the main palace starting today.”
It worked! Overjoyed, Karina clasped her hands together and beamed. In contrast, Roger frowned and muttered under his breath.
“Head Butler, sir. Do you happen to know where I will be assigned?”
“You will be assigned as a tea-serving maid for His Majesty the Emperor. His Majesty seems to have taken a special interest in you, so do not forget your gratitude and continue to serve well.”
At those words, Karina could not hide her joy. Roger, who had just been dreaming of a rosy future with her, was left looking like a dog that had lost its chicken.
If she was assigned to the Emperor’s palace, he would likely never see her again. If he had known this would happen, he should have pushed harder for marriage. Roger let out a regretful sigh.
“Mister Roger.”
Karina tugged at his sleeve with an innocent smile on her lovely face.
“Could you help me pack my things?”
Seeing her smiling face, Roger immediately broke into a foolish grin and nodded.
The two headed toward the narrow room inside the stable. There was hardly anything to call luggage in Karina’s room. A few worn-out clothes, a frayed hat, and a single pair of scuffed shoes were all she owned.
“You really are something. You’ve got nothing but these ragged clothes, yet you’ve turned down every single man who’s asked you to marry him?”
Roger muttered as he carelessly stuffed the clothes into a large bag beside him.
“I’ve put everything in the bag. Is this all you need to take?”
Roger turned toward Karina while holding the old leather bag.
It was then.
Slap!
A sharp sound of impact echoed through the narrow room.
Startled, Roger clutched his reddening cheek and muttered in disbelief.
“K-Karina…?”
The Karina standing before him no longer wore the face of an innocent maid.
Her golden eyes swirled with a mixture of rage and contempt he had never seen before.
“How dare a lowly bastard like you…”
At her sudden transformation, Roger’s entire body froze. Enveloped in fury, she had become like an entirely different person.
“Do you even know who I am? You dare utter my name with that filthy mouth and touch me with your disgusting hands?!”
Karina took another step closer to him. Terrified by her abrupt change, Roger slowly backed away.
“Marriage? Say it again. Marriage? Do you truly believe I entered this palace to marry a vulgar wretch like you? Every time you insects do something so ridiculous, I’ve barely held myself back from ripping out your tongue and chopping off your wrists!”
Furious, Karina raised her hand once more. Roger squeezed his eyes shut. But contrary to expectation, his cheek remained untouched.
Roger cracked his eyes open and studied her expression. As if nothing had happened, an elegant smile now graced Karina’s face.