Let's Do Business (2)

No matter how armored in fanaticism Old Man Heo was, it would have been a lie to say he felt no anxiety.

But that anxiety had nothing whatsoever to do with the Mother of All Things or with Lee Seop.

What if people just don't recognize the power of our holy water?

It was anxiety about human beings. To him and his brothers and sisters of the Providence Church, Lee Seop's divinity was more familiar than their own reflections — but to everyone else, he was a stranger. What good was brewing miracles by the barrel if nobody knew what they were looking at?

"We need publicity. The problem is that ordinary methods won't get us any."

And so, from the very start of the business, Old Man Heo threw himself into marketing.

"We know the holy water's effects better than anyone. But there's no way to prove those effects scientifically."

"Elder Heo, isn't there some good method?"

"It's beneath our dignity, but that's exactly the route we have to take."

"You mean those things you always see from internet news outlets?"

"Precisely."

Lee Seop had entrusted the Foundation's operations to Old Man Heo. Old and out of touch with the times he may have been, but the hard-won experience of running a corporation in his past life still counted for something.

"The needs of the elderly are best understood by the elderly, hohohoho."

Then again, in a South Korea racing into hyper-aging, Old Man Heo's silver-generation management might actually be the more effective play.

"Oh, come on! Grandpa! You seriously don't know ANY of the trends these days!"

"She's right. Even this kind of exaggerated false advertising works on the younger generation, you know."

On top of that, Heo Jae-soo's two granddaughters, Yu-mi and Yu-na, threw themselves wholeheartedly into the cause.

"Yu-mi! Let's make TikT*k, Inst*gram, YouT*be, and Tw*tter accounts right now!"

"Yes, unni!"

"We need to shoot videos too. Anyone in our neighborhood whose skin transformation from holy water would go absolutely viral?"

"What about Park Yeon-ju? She's from a multicultural family and she's always stressed about her dark skin."

"The girl you've been hanging out with lately? Perfect! Let's do it right now!"

"I'll get the video prepped right away, unni! Should I ask Grandpa to buy us a camera?"

"Filming on a phone is plenty. Honestly, phone footage gives it that authentic TikT*k vibe anyway. Let's just ask him for editing software and a computer."

"Yes! Then let's spec it out so it can run the newest games too! Wait — will Yeon-ju even agree? Her face will be all over the internet."

"Get her to try the holy water's whitening effect first, then promise her a bottle every single day for a year. She'll say yes."

"Going to ask her right now!"

And with that, the two granddaughters became the marketing staff of Providence Anima Beauty. Still minors, they weren't full employees — more like part-time contract workers — but they took charge of the community forums and social media accounts entirely.

Thus began a marketing campaign aimed simultaneously at the silver generation and the young. Add in the genuinely divine efficacy of the Holy Water, let word of mouth ride the forums and social feeds, and the holy water business produced results that blew clean past every projection.

My initial goal was the classic hidden-master meta.

Grow my power base to a certain size while posing as just another murky, closed-off pseudo-cult. The holy water business, too, was meant to run primarily on a concrete consumer base — the people in the know, buying wisely and quietly.

That plan had slipped somewhat off the rails. The reaction to the holy water had been far hotter than anticipated. Our believers were simply too capable.

"Lord Lee Seop…."

"Journalists and a few YouT*bers have gathered outside."

"The government has sent an official request to re-verify the holy water we produced…."

"The scientific community as well…."

Old Man Heo and the elders of the Providence Church looked at me with eyes that didn't know what to do.

"Then normalization is in order."

It was still too early to reveal divine power before all the world. So I resolved to take action to smother this fire.

"Do you have a plan in mind?"

"Charge straight through the front."

"I'm sorry?"

I walked boldly out toward the outsiders camped at our gates.

"Aaaah! He's out! He's OUT!"

"Subscribers, he's finally here! The CEO of the company behind the legendary holy water is right in front of me!"

"That's the head of the Providence Foundation?"

"Lord Lee Seop! Kim Yu-han from the Daily Hansung! A word, please!"

"What are the ingredients of Providence Holy Water?"

"Rumor has it the Providence Foundation is a cult foundation — is that true?"

A forest of cameras surrounded me from every side.

"Greetings, brothers and sisters."

I spread my arms wide before the cameras with the brightest smile the world had ever seen. I kept the divine power reined in as far as it would go, focusing hard so that my passive skill, Happy Conversation, wouldn't trigger by accident.

"My name is Lee Seop. I am the Firstborn Son, who delivers the will of the Mother of All Things, the Weaver of Providence. Everyone! This world is fallen, and it is damned. Only a new religion — a new faith — can light the road to salvation!"

I shouted it at the cameras with the wild-eyed fervor of a fanatic that anyone could see was off his rocker.

"As Providence wills it!"

"As Providence wills it!"

Responding to my cry, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠our staff drew the Providence sign of the cross and chanted the slogan. Several of them wept openly and dropped to their knees in prayer on the spot.

"That's right, everyone! The Providence Holy Water made by our Providence Foundation is TRUE holy water! The purified water at its core is distilled through the daily prayers of our believers!"

"…?"

"Huh?"

"???"

The press pit, blazing with journalistic fervor moments before, flash-froze.

"Want to go to heaven? Want salvation from the doom that's coming? Then believe in the Providence Church, and buy the Holy Water sold by the Providence Church! The more you buy, the higher your Divine Points climb!"

The Foundation's young CEO, his narcissism on brazen, naked display — and the old men and staff following him with fanatic devotion:

"That's right! Our pastor Lee Seop is the Firstborn Son, born with divine power!"

"Journalists, you've come all this way — believe in the Mother of All Things THIS INSTANT! Do so, and you shall be saved!"

"Oooooh! As Providence wills it! As Providence wills it!"

Their performance was, in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a word, flawless.

"So they really were a cult?"

"Doesn't look like an act…?"

The journalists and outsiders sized up the situation at lightning speed.

"Ahh, okay, I get what happened now."

"All those review posts and videos were just crooked-prop stone game these cultists staged among themselves."

"Yeah, figures."

"I mean, they did run the ingredient tests, and it still came back as just ordinary toner, right?"

"Ugh! Another cult?! I'm sick to death of them!"

"Seriously, can't somebody punish these goddamn cultists?"

If the people standing right in front of us reacted like this, the online response was a foregone conclusion.

Everyone who had once sung the praises of Providence Holy Water was now, retroactively, a full-blown cultist.

Until very recently, South Korea had been through a full-blown cult measles outbreak. Politics, culture, business, the media — even the police. The sheer infiltrative reach of the various cults had stunned the nation and left it reeling. Politicians and civil servants alike had grown allergic to anything that smelled of entanglement with them. In that climate, the emergence of yet another new cult handed the public a fresh wave of exhaustion.

"Lord Lee Seop, Holy Water pre-orders have dropped sharply."

"Phew, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠thank goodness. We were struggling to keep up with the volume anyway."

The cult coming-out had worked beautifully. Interest evaporated overnight, and online we were now filed away alongside the likes of the Creation Church, the Hana Church, and the Sarang Church.

"We're still maintaining a certain baseline of purchases, though."

"The people who've actually tried it know the holy water is the real deal."

In exchange for a little public humiliation, I had recovered exactly what I'd planned for from the start — the concrete revenue stream and the hidden-master meta. Yes. For now, this was enough.

"Though I do feel sorry for our Yeonok-dong kids. Yu-na alone promoted the holy water all over her school…"

Still, one thing nagged at me: our Yeonok-dong children.

"Hohohoho, no need to worry about that, my lord."

At my concern, Grandfather Heo Jae-soo replied as if it were nothing at all.

"The school our Yeonok-dong kids attend, and the hagwon district its students frequent, were sprayed with holy water long ago. I guarantee you that by now it's harder to find a child who hasn't used it."

"Ah, right, we did distribute quite a bit to our own kids. It helps with studying too, after all. Told them not to let the school grind them down."

"Precisely. Mix the holy water with the diffuser oil and concentration rises — they simply study better, don't they? Children, more sensitive to their grades than anyone, became latent believers of our Providence Church ages ago."

"But the children's parents and teachers haven't, have they?"

"For the parents, rising test scores ARE their religion. And the school and hagwon teachers have already experienced the beauty effects of the holy water our children gave them as gifts."

"Our church is expanding faster than I expected. Might I see the current status report?"

"I prepared it precisely because I expected you to ask, Lord Lee Seop."

As if he'd been waiting for the question, Old Man Heo brought out a map of the peninsula, lovingly drawn by hand.

"Seventy percent of the hagwon district north of the Han River is already under the Providence Church's influence. We've also established a foothold in Gangnam, Daegu, Gwangju, Cheongju, Sejong, Suwon, and Dongtan."

It was chilling. Our church had already swallowed the schools and hagwon districts of northern Seoul, well beyond Yeonok-dong. And that wasn't all — nationwide, the expansion of our reach through the weapon of holy water had only just begun, sprouting up like cells of some organism.

I understood now why famous cults poured such effort into hagwon districts and university towns. The results really were spectacular.

So THAT'S why the believer count has been climbing so fast lately.

I stole a glance at my status window. Every category of believer except the fanatics had grown.

At this rate, I could expand the church faster and more aggressively than I'd planned, couldn't I?

Next I checked the Stigma Granting (B) skill.

By rights I should have been able to create twenty-eight Clerics, but thanks to that damned B-class limit, I couldn't get past ten. It chafed, watching a fresh line of restriction append itself with every rise in the believer count — but there was nothing for it.

"In any case, thank goodness we managed to redirect the aggro away from ourselves."

"Uh… Lord Lee Seop? Forgive me, but I judge it far too early to relax."

Just as I was letting myself breathe, an old man from our church's council of elders — Old Man Hong — cut into the conversation. His name was Hong Dong-soo, a man who had served in the Vietnam War and later worked for the Defense Intelligence Command and the NIS.

"So there are still those with their eyes on us."

"There are, Dae-hoon."

"Yes, Elder."

At Hong Dong-soo's gesture, a young man who had been standing against the wall of the meeting room at the back stepped forward. His name was Kim Dae-hoon — until recently a black-ops agent of the National Intelligence Service, discarded by the very government he'd served. Old Man Hong had introduced him to me out of respect for his wasted talents, and he had recently received baptism as a believer.

"Reporting to the Firstborn Son. Several agents dispatched by the NIS have entered our congregation as believers."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. They're using aliases, but their faces match. They were definitely faces I saw at my former workplace."

"Could they be interested in our divine power?"

"I doubt it. Their purpose appears to be simple reconnaissance of an up-and-coming cult."

"The NIS certainly stays busy these days. Drug busts, religion — there's nothing they don't stick their fingers into."

"Recent cults have attracted controversy for wielding excessive influence over politics and even the police — while causing major disasters every single time. At this point, cults are treated essentially the same as drug organizations."

At Kim Dae-hoon's report, I nodded as if in understanding. We weren't a cult — we were the real thing — but to any outsider, we looked every inch the counterfeit.

"What are your orders, Lord Lee Seop?"

"Observe them for now. If they have any thoughts of their own, the day will come when they settle sincerely into our embrace."

"As you will, Lord Lee Seop."

The NIS's surveillance notwithstanding, not a single believer present — myself included — felt fear. We neither guarded ourselves against the infiltrators nor shunned them.

"New believers are always welcome, after all."

We were simply, purely glad to see them.