Let's Do Business (1)
Neighborhoods like Yeonok-dong, packed with elderly residents and left to decay, commonly had homes with abysmal bathing facilities.
In some cases the pipes were so corroded that clean water wouldn't come out at all, but the biggest problem was that hot water was unreliable at best.
That was why, in neighborhoods like this one, the public bathhouse was an absolute necessity.
Except the bathhouse had recently shut its doors.
"Just as you instructed, Lee Seop-nim, we removed all the shower facilities and left only the baths and the plumbing. We laid soft mats across the bath floors as well."
Was he planning to reopen the defunct bathhouse? Absolutely not.
Why would a bathhouse close in the first place? Because it didn't just fail to turn a profit — the deficits only grew.
His plan was to use the bathhouse he'd just acquired as a kind of factory.
Sorry, people of Yeonok-dong. You'll just have to hold out a little longer.
When word spread that he had bought the bathhouse, no small number of Yeonok-dong residents had watched him with hopeful eyes. But he had deliberately looked away.
"Please install this holy relic in each of the baths. The women's baths as well."
Welfare for the brothers and sisters of Providence in Yeonok-dong could wait — it wouldn't be too late to get to it after the money started rolling in.
If anything, the money earned this time would go toward upgrading the aging homes' pipes, plumbing, and boilers.
That would be far better than building and running a brand-new bathhouse.
"Installation complete, Lee Seop-nim."
"They've finished on the women's side as well."
The Yeonok-dong bathhouse had three tubs: cold, warm, and hot.
Accounting for both the men's and women's sections, six holy relics were needed in total.
"Good. Now turn on the water. Make it cold water for all of them."
Having become a Pardner only the day before, Lee Seop had whipped up six holy relics in short order and placed them at the center of each of the six tubs.
The image of the Mother of All from the Providence app — a picture crudely generated with AI — was printed on A4 paper, framed, and hung from a pole standing 1.7 meters tall.
He admitted it. For a holy relic, it was remarkably shabby.
His heart had yearned to commission a marble figure modeled after his mother from his previous life, but he simply couldn't afford it at the moment, so this would have to do for now.
"In the name of the Mother, let blessing fall upon these sacred pools!"
Once each bath brimmed full of water, Lee Seop cast the Blessing and Baptism skills over all six tubs.
Ssshaaaaaaa—
Then, from each tub, a sacred halo imbued with divine power began to glow with a quiet light.
It was a peaceful radiance that any devout believer could see.
"Now put this holy water into the tanks."
That's right — this was holy water.
At his command, the most physically imposing believers stepped forward.
The tank, filled to the brim with holy water, was hauled onto a handcart, loaded onto one of the two porter trucks waiting on the first floor.
"From now on, believers, whenever you have a moment, please come and pray before these baths. You will of course be paid an hourly wage for your time."
Watching the holy water from the baths being loaded onto the truck, Lee Seop continued his instructions.
"Prayer, you say?"
"Yes. I can't very well stand here all day making holy water myself. It's embarrassing to admit, but I'll be borrowing the strength of the congregation."
"Would holy water really be made just from prayers from the likes of us?"
"Naturally, each individual believer's divine power is small compared to mine. But when hundreds of believers gather, the story changes."
While planning the holy water factory, Lee Seop had briefly considered granting the Cleric class to two of the believers.
But he had decided to hold off.
Class grants were something to be hoarded and cherished, saved for those who were truly the right fit.
Save the Stigmata Granting for when we expand the church across the nation — and across the world.
This holy water factory could run just fine without granting any classes in the first place.
The raw faith-driven labor of ordinary believers was more than enough.
"Lee Seop-nim, everything's loaded."
"Then let's head to the Paju factory."
The elder Heo approached and announced they were ready to depart.
With the core ingredient secured, it was time to move on to packaging and sales at the factory in Paju.
Lee Seop left the rest to the believers and climbed into the truck.
The small-to-midsize company in Paju that the Providence Foundation had acquired was once a modest outfit doing OEM cosmetics manufacturing.
On the factory sign, freshly replaced, the foundation's new subsidiary name shone brightly: Providence Anima Beauty.
"Use this holy water to make the toner. And package the finished product as luxuriously as possible."
Inside the factory.
Holy water was fed into the toner production line in place of purified water.
It was the birth of the Providence Church's very first product: Providence Holy Water.
At some point, strange advertisements had begun to circulate on the internet.
The ads first appeared in the banner slots of third-rate tabloid news sites.
Banners that anyone could recognize as false advertising ran rampant in a chaotic flood.
The laughable before-and-after photos claiming a woman in her seventies had transformed into the face of someone fifty overnight weren't even worth anyone's attention.
These trashy, overblown ads were so beneath contempt that even the professional exposure YouTubers who made a living hunting down predatory companies couldn't be bothered.
Yet instead of dying down, the torrent of hype for a toner nobody took seriously only swelled as time passed.
Soon it had spread beyond the third-rate tabloids to Insta, TwittX, TikT, YouXbe, online communities, and beyond — a deluge of sensational viral advertising.
Among all of these, the community reactions were far from ordinary.
One week later.
Mouth to mouth,
tale to tale,
word of Providence Holy Water spread.
By this point, the exposure YouTubers were naturally drawn into action.
In fact, quite a few subscribers had already requested reviews of the so-called holy water toner via DMs and community comments.
Hello. This is North Pole Penguin.
I am, of course, aware of the toner product currently making headlines.
I've managed to purchase two bottles and am currently testing them.
First, the ingredients are indeed those of an ordinary toner. This is accurate — I commissioned an analysis from a government agency.
However, I haven't yet reached a clear answer, so I haven't been able to upload a video.
The government agency called it an ordinary toner, but there's a chance it genuinely possesses some sacred efficacy like holy water, so I am testing it directly on my own body.
I will upload the video once testing is complete.
Then, some time later.
I will not be uploading a video on Providence Holy Water.
First, I apologize to subscribers who were shocked by the title and contents of this post.
The ingredients of Providence Holy Water are, without question, those of an ordinary toner.
But after testing it repeatedly — on myself and on my family — I came away with the sense that it has an effect that cannot be explained by science.
Naturally, that is an excuse that makes no sense scientifically or logically.
Nevertheless, I deliberated for a long time, and I have decided not to upload a video about this product.
I don't know whether you'll believe me, but I stake myself and my family on this: I have received absolutely no advertising fees, nor any money or goods, and I state that plainly here.
I have also received no threats or pressure of any kind.
Until now, I have gone after companies running false, exaggerated ads.
Which means I believe this same principle must hold in the opposite case as well.
You may unsubscribe. You may leave all the hateful comments you like.
But I refuse to speak falsehood.
I'm sorry.
North Pole Penguin was only the beginning.
— Holding off on the Providence Holy Water video.
— I will not be reviewing that infamous toner everyone's whispering about.
— NOT an ad! A genuinely objective review of the toner in question.
One testimonial and neutrality declaration after another poured forth from exposure YouTubers.
People began to take notice of this company called Providence, one by one.
Meanwhile, in a storefront office in Yeonok-dong set up as the Providence Foundation headquarters:
"…It seems things have gotten bigger than we planned."
"We overdid the advertising and viral marketing in the early stages."
Lee Seop and the elders of the Providence Church had gathered, wearing expressions of awkward embarrassment.
Even now, the Paju factory and the office here were in chaos, flooded with ringing phones and a steady stream of visiting reporters.