Chapter 523
Chapter 523
Kim Rae-bin had become unable to perform on stage.
However, the memories of his time in Steer—which were likely the cause—had already vanished from his mind.
This is driving me crazy.
What could I possibly say to a guy who didn't even remember? For now, I’d sent him back to his room to get some rest, telling him not to worry too much since it might just be fatigue.
But everyone probably knew that was total bullshit.
Fatigue, my foot.
If it were fatigue, he should have collapsed during their debut when he was only sleeping three hours a day. No matter how I looked at it, this was a trace left behind by the "Steer" version of Kim Rae-bin.
The only silver lining was that the member of the same age, who had likely spent the most time with him back then, was right here.
And as luck would have it, that guy was at the dorm because he didn't have any evening schedules.
"Tell me everything you suspect might have happened to Rae-bin during the Steer days."
Time to shake him down.
Called into the kitchen, Cha Yu-jin didn't pout at my question; instead, his expression turned serious.
It seemed he’d been doing some thinking of his own after seeing the situation.
"A lot happened. But Kim Rae-bin was fine. [Of course, he wasn't as happy as he is now. But there was no extreme despair or mental issues back then.]"
"Hmm."
That was quite an unexpected answer.
—Kim Rae-bin was fine during the Steer days. (Cha Yu-jin's testimony)
"So, at least as far as you remember, the Steer version of Kim Rae-bin didn't have an aversion to the stage?"
"That's right."
Cha Yu-jin nodded, his brow furrowing.
"I asked Kim Rae-bin a lot of questions a few days ago. But Kim Rae-bin only said he couldn't perform. [Sometimes it seemed like even he didn't know why.]"
So he’d conducted an investigation before the Steer memories vanished, but it had failed.
I nodded.
Good testimony.
"Then it's simple."
"What?"
"Look here."
I traced a line on the dining table with my finger.
"The last time you saw Kim Rae-bin during the Steer days was when you left for America right after the group disbanded."
"Right."
Cha Yu-jin's departure for America.
I marked a point there and continued the line.
"But the Kim Rae-bin who got his Steer memories back was a guy who had experienced everything up to his military enlistment. He remembers things that happened after you went to America."
"…Yep."
Just as Cha Yu-jin had worked at a repair shop in America and Lee Se-jin A had finally won his lawsuit, Kim Rae-bin had gone through something more during that period.
"The only difference between the Kim Rae-bin you remember and the one from the other timeline is this specific period."
—The period after the group's disbandment.
I dusted off my hands and spoke.
"So, the problem started after you left for America."
"Oh."
In other words, the short window of time between Steer's disbandment and the completion of his basic military training was the prime suspect.
Of course, this is all based on the assumption that Cha Yu-jin had a good grasp of Kim Rae-bin's condition during Steer.
I thought the probability of this assumption being correct was extremely high.
Cha Yu-jin was actually quite quick-witted. The problem was just that he usually didn't bother using those wits.
But during the Steer days, he would have been forced to use them.
In extreme situations, humans develop intuition they never had before; someone who already had it would be even sharper.
If this guy said there were "no mental issues" regarding a fellow member—and a close friend of the same age at that—it meant there really weren't any.
Cha Yu-jin, listening, readily agreed.
"OK. So what do we do?"
He didn't seem to have a single doubt that I would have the answer. I appreciated the vote of confidence.
I nodded and, as usual, spoke without hesitation.
"I have to start thinking about that now."
"…What?"
"Let's brainstorm based on this information."
You use your wits, too.
After assigning a task to the bewildered Cha Yu-jin, I returned to my room.
For the record, the person in question who couldn't perform, my roommate Kim Rae-bin, had his head buried on his desk.
And I told him to rest.
He wasn't resting; he looked like he’d passed out.
Wearing the headphones engraved with a rabbit and an energy drink—a gift from a fan early in their debut—he didn't move an inch.
"……."
He looked scared, or perhaps discouraged.
Good grief.
I needed to solve this quickly. I sat on the edge of my bed.
Well… actually, I’d told Cha Yu-jin I didn't have a method right away, but I did.
It was a method I’d practically signed in blood saying I’d only do "after reaching an agreement," so I was just waiting for the right timing rather than saying it immediately.
Namely, forcibly digging into the System.
I rubbed my chin.
I feel like I'll find something if I dig deep enough.
If I access the System one more time, like when I found Lee Se-jin A…
[Waaaah! Don't even dream about it, Hyung!]
"……."
No… when did he hear me? The pop-up appeared before I could even say a word.
I shut my mouth at the sight of Keun-dal's pop-up.
Well, since I was the one occupying the body of Ryu Gun-woo that he was supposed to use, I couldn't really complain if he felt uncomfortable about me accessing it.
Still, the first attempt ended safely, so I think I can do it even more safely this time.
I responded as calmly as possible.
The pop-up didn't reply for a while, then suddenly reappeared.
[I—I'll try doing it myself, so please just wait a bit!]
What?
What was he talking about now?
'Keun-dal.'
But there was no answer. It seemed he had accessed the System within me.
No, I can do it myself, so why send you?
It’s always cleanest when the person who’s done it before does it again.
I called out to him a few more times, but as expected, there was no response.
Dammit.
I smacked my lips in frustration and stopped calling for now. If he’d already accessed it, interfering might just screw things up, so I decided to leave him be.
Since he was someone who had lived as a status window, his understanding of the System was high; he might actually bring back some unexpected results.
Should I work on something else in the meantime?
I turned my head and spoke.
"Rae-bin."
"Yes, yes!"
Kim Rae-bin, who had his head on the desk, snapped his head up.
Being roommates was convenient for things like this.
Instead of saying things like, "Do you really have no memory?" or "Can't you remember anything?" or "Let's try to recall the situation on stage again," I said this:
"Let's take a look at your work."
"Pardon?"
I demanded access to his hard drive as if I were shaking him down for lunch money.
Kim Rae-bin nodded with a dazed expression.
"These seven tracks are the ones I've worked on recently."
On the screen of the heavy laptop he handed over, several files were open in a composition program.
I took the spare headphones from him and started listening to the tracks.
"Thanks."
"Not at all! Um, but may I ask for what reason you wish to listen to them...?"
I caught a glimpse of his complexion.
Tension, anxiety, confusion.
He's conscious of the fact that the topic of the stage might come up.
Bringing that up now would be a bad move.
So, I replied nonchalantly.
"I was just curious. I felt like I haven't been paying enough attention to producing lately."
Then I gave a slight smile.
"It's nice being roommates; I can listen to your stuff easily."
"Hyung..."
The guy, who was about to say, "No, you've paid plenty of attention," seemed quite moved.
It meant I’d succeeded in diverting his attention.
Good.
I listened to the seven tracks repeatedly, grasping their structures and hitting the play button several times even after hearing his explanations.
It was to stall for time.
"Oh~ Moon-dae-Moon-dae, you're listening to Rae-bin's songs?"
"What are you guys doing? Let me join!"
As I kept listening, the members who had finished showering and those who had returned from their schedules joined in to listen together.
Seeing even the members who wouldn't usually come over, it was clear they’d come out of worry for Kim Rae-bin and stayed to offer encouragement after seeing the atmosphere.
"Alright, let's play track number three~"
"Okay!"
Clap clap clap.
And in this sudden listening party atmosphere, Kim Rae-bin finally began to feel a different kind of tension.
Soon, a smooth ballad with a relaxed, rhythmic feel filled the room.
After listening intently, Ryu Cheong-woo smiled and spoke to him.
"This song is really good, Rae-bin. I think the melody is especially nice."
"Thank you! It's a demo version where I composed the top line first and then built a beat that suits the melody, but..."
Finally, he was reacting naturally without being self-conscious.
After a few more songs passed and I confirmed that his prepared anxiety had vanished, I subtly moved into action.
"Oh, Rae-bin~ You've been using those headphones for a long time. Why don't you take a picture wearing them and post it on our account?"
Taking advantage of the moment Keun Se-jin was talking to Kim Rae-bin, I grabbed the laptop mouse again and opened the file explorer.
What Kim Rae-bin had shown me earlier was the folder for his latest songs. He’d pointed out seven tracks from there.
But if I sort all the files in the folder by 'Date Modified'... there was one more song between those seven.
—62_06.wav
This was it.
I looked at the file and asked Kim Rae-bin as if I’d just remembered.
"Did you make this track number six recently too? The save date is recent."
"Ah, that... it seems to be a song I made during the time I had no memory."
"I see."
Meaning he’d made it when he only had his Steer memories.
Actually, I already knew that.
I checked all the file creation dates.
It fell exactly within that period.
But I nodded naturally.
"Since you don't remember making it, it must have been awkward to introduce. But I assume you've listened to it."
"Yes, since it was saved on my PC, I naturally went through the process of checking it!"
I asked the guy, who was nodding vigorously.
"Was there any part of this song where you thought, 'If I had made this, I wouldn't have done it this way'? Regardless of whether the song is good or not, just in terms of the composition style."
At that moment, the other members who had been chatting fell silent, reading the room. It seemed even the usually oblivious ones had squeezed out some tact given the gravity of the situation. Good job.
Kim Rae-bin's face briefly looked even more grim as he fell into thought, but soon his eyes widened as he answered.
"Ah! Actually, I did feel a sense of incongruity."
"Really?"
"That song seemed to be made with our group members in mind, but there was no part for me!"
"What?"
At that moment, Bae Se-jin couldn't help but interject.
"What does that mean?"
"Well... when I compose with the performers already decided, I tend to write while being conscious of each performer's individual characteristics."
Kim Rae-bin explained earnestly.
"This song seems to have been made in a similar way... but there is no part that seems assigned to me!"
Bae Se-jin's expression hardened.
"So... even though it seems like this song was written for TeSTAR, you're the only one without a part?"
"That is my analysis."
Kim Rae-bin nodded.
"So, I surmised that from the beginning, the person who made it... had no intention of performing..."
"……."
It seemed Kim Rae-bin had been making these deductions while he had his head buried on the desk earlier.
Hmm.
I looked at the file on the screen again.
The Steer version of Kim Rae-bin had clearly tried to find his TeSTAR memories "to contribute to this team by performing again."
In that situation, wouldn't he naturally try to make a group song assuming that he, having regained his memories, would be performing?
At the very least, he wouldn't have not tried.
If so, this meant that even though that Rae-bin had tried to put his own part into the song, he had failed.
In other words, it wasn't that he "didn't" put his part in, but that his aversion to the stage was so powerful and resolute that he "couldn't."
"……."
I suppressed a sigh. I’d been too complacent.
Because the Steer version of Kim Rae-bin had seemed to enjoy composing and was adapting so well to the team, everyone had been relatively less worried, but perhaps he was the one who had been struggling the most.
I need to approach this more delicately.
I spoke to Kim Rae-bin with deliberate calmness and ease.
"Anyway, you do want to perform now, right?"
"Of course!"
Kim Rae-bin answered instantly. I gave a faint smile.
"Then that's enough. There are seven of us here; if we keep trying, one of our attempts is bound to work."
I tapped Keun Se-jin on the shoulder. Backup arrived immediately.
"Oh, for sure~ With mental stuff like this, the most important thing is that the person themselves wants to do it! Rae-bin, you've already met the most important condition, right, A-hyun?"
"Y-yeah, that's right...! I hope... you don't worry too much."
"...! Yes, thank you!"
Kim Rae-bin's complexion brightened, seemingly relieved.
And I thought to myself: I need to find this guy's memories as soon as possible.
However, that night...
[There's no memory data, Hyung!]
I almost slammed my head against the headboard.
There's none?
[Yes... I even went to that terminal you mentioned, but it wasn't there. T_T]
Son of a...
Just as I was about to hurl curses at the System, a small, dejected pop-up appeared.
[I'm sorry. Maybe it's because I'm not capable enough to find it...]
No, that probably wasn't it.
He's not the type of guy who would search half-heartedly.
If Keun-dal had searched this thoroughly and found nothing, there was a high probability that it really wasn't there.
In that case...
If those memories hadn't returned to the System...
—The memories of Steer Kim Rae-bin must still be within him.
At that moment, realization struck.
I’d been mistaken.
Because it was a "Preview," I’d assumed that the moment the function ended, Kim Rae-bin's Steer memories were also retrieved by the System.
But that wasn't it.
It meant that the Steer version of Kim Rae-bin was still there, absorbed within him but refusing to come out.
"……."
I sat on the bed, reviewing my deductions and train of thought several times before finally reaching a conclusion.
If someone is holed up in their room, you have to let them hear a knock on the door.
He needed a stimulus.
*
After failing to properly perform the congratulatory song.
Throughout his rest in his room at the dorm, Kim Rae-bin had been agonizing.
What on earth could be the cause?
He was searching for a rational reason why he had experienced such extreme rigidity on stage.
In fact, he had tried several solutions over the past two days.
He had received gentle suggestions from Bae Se-jin and Seon A-hyun about professional counseling, and an invitation from Ryu Cheong-woo to join him in physical hobbies like shooting or hiking.
But none of those things eased his anxiety. Since he was fine during practice, he wouldn't know for sure until he actually stepped into a "real" performance.
Because of this, Kim Rae-bin, who had become even more obsessed with the cause, had even speculated in a slightly depressed state:
Maybe the problem is that I can't remember.
Even Cha Yu-jin remembered!
Park Moon-dae had dismissed it, saying it was "just a matter of method," but in this situation, Kim Rae-bin couldn't help but worry and reflect.
However, knowing that the deeper he brooded, the more he would be swallowed by it, he also tried not to obsess too much over the stage itself.
He’d had a similar experience before.
This is a similar situation to when I had a slump in composition.
Kim Rae-bin, who was fiddling with a composition program, nodded resolutely.
Then, it suddenly occurred to him.
Wait, composition?
In an instant, a bright light flashed in Kim Rae-bin's mind like fireworks!
If this situation was similar to a composition slump, what if he tried a similar response?
Enjoying the stage purely as a hobby while remaining anonymous.
Back then, with the help of the hyungs, I even created an account called Starry Melody!
Thinking of the situation back then, a warm feeling settled in his chest.
It was hope and happiness.
In a slightly excited state, he stood up to convey his deduction to his roommate, Park Moon-dae, who was right next to him...
"I was just about to tell you, so this is good timing. About the teaser for this album."
"Yes?"
"What if we make an intro song to include? Something short, a length you can finish within the current timeframe."
TeSTAR sometimes put a lot of effort into their teasers to create an elaborate lore, but other times they didn't.
This time, they’d planned for the latter, focusing their energy on the album itself.
Adding an intro now could be seen as an increased workload, but Kim Rae-bin nodded readily.
Moon-dae Hyung's plans have always gone well!
"I would love to! Since it's a video introducing the album, I will compose it well so that each element and member can appear harmoniously."
He was about to bring up his own business this time, but...
"No. You're going to do it alone."
"…??"
"The intro for this album is your solo track."
Kim Rae-bin doubted his ears, but Park Moon-dae still wore a faint smile.
"Make the song you want to sing."
Kim Rae-bin felt his vision go dizzy!