Chapter 27
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 27
Chapter Title: Only I Know What Happened Back Then, And That's Why
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"KAIST, you know it?"
I knew it, alright.
Was there anyone here who knew that place better than I did?
I'd spent over ten years there in Daejeon.
"It's like that university... You'd know it, right?"
"Kinda. Not super well, though."
But this time, I wasn't going to pretend I knew.
"Yeah? Anyway, there's this science and tech university that just dives deep into science stuff."
She was telling the story.
All I had to do was nod slowly and keep listening.
That was my role right now.
Lee A-ram started talking on.
To be honest, it wasn't all that convincing.
The excuse about skipping the volunteer club earlier had been more persuasive.
Still, if I kept listening, it went something like this.
"At first, I wanted to be a teacher... but seeing how things are done here, I changed my mind... That fat toad... Oh, excluding our homeroom teacher?"
"She's a new teacher, and a rare breed in this day and age."
"Yeah, I agree with that."
Lee A-ram agreed with me for once and kept going.
"Anyway, then I thought about being a lawyer or judge or prosecutor for a bit, but on TV, all the people going to jail seemed to come from those fields."
"Our country's administration is third-rate, companies second-rate, politics fourth-rate."
"...Who said that?"
"Sa-seong Ko Geon-hui."
"Oh, yeah. I read her autobiography."
And then, she saw this on TV.
That's how she continued.
It was something I'd heard before—actually, I'd seen it as a meme online.
A broadcast exposing corruption among university professors.
A Seoul National University professor embezzling hundreds of millions in research funds.
Other profs at Y University and K University in the Seoul area siphoning off similar amounts to their cousin's bank account for stock investments.
While all these professors were mired in scandals,
"Do you know what a KAIST professor embezzled?"
Of course, KAIST professors weren't immune to corruption.
But the crime was ordering pizza at home with research funds.
And buying "research materials" (figurines) overseas.
"Well... it was still embezzlement."
"Yeah. And they got punished the same."
Lee A-ram covered her mouth cautiously, chuckling as if it still amused her.
That refreshing laugh sounded so genuinely middle-school-like.
Nothing like the girl who'd just tried to choke me while telling me to die in half.
"It was just... kinda funny. Wonder if it's because they study too much and stay pure, or if they just don't have the guts to do real crimes."
"Definitely the latter."
It was never the former—being good-hearted.
KAIST wasn't some pure science haven different from other comprehensive universities.
The world didn't change that much.
As someone who'd gone there, I agreed to an extent.
But it wasn't a gathering place for saints, either.
There were plenty of weird professors.
Just look at how grad students lived.
Ah, was that every university in Korea? Or worldwide?
Anyway.
Even against my near-assertion, Lee A-ram didn't react heatedly like before.
"Yeah? Probably. Yeah, that makes sense."
She even agreed with a wistful expression.
"...But still, I thought this."
And added,
"Don't people who study science, which has nothing to do with morals or law, end up better than those who do?"
"Eh. Studying science doesn't make everyone good and righteous."
I denied it again.
My stance had flipped completely from the morals talk earlier.
Plenty of reason to poke holes.
But uncharacteristically, Lee A-ram
nodded again,
and subtly lifted the corner of her mouth where I couldn't see.
"...Yeah, true. But."
She looked out the science room window.
The movie was nearing its end.
Tony and his assistant gazing at the night sky,
then the press conference where he'd just say "I am Iron Man" and it was over.
But Lee A-ram,
"Still, holed up in labs talking about atoms and the universe... occasionally embezzling funds for pizza..."
More than that famous scene,
"...A life staring at the night sky through a telescope like that. Maybe that's the right way."
Just the two of them looking up at the night sky.
Talking about the stars.
A cliché romance moment.
But the scene before, where Tony first showed his physicist side, stuck with her more.
"At least when I grow up, I thought I wanted to be like that."
She opened her heart to someone for the first time.
She wasn't the type to reveal this.
From elementary school kid to high schooler to college student,
and even after becoming an adult starting a job amid all sorts of hardships,
She harbored stronger distrust of people than anyone.
She never talked about herself.
Let alone her true feelings.
At least, from what I'd seen in the 1st round records.
Lee A-ram grew from that child into that adult.
However,
"That's why I got interested in the science club. I don't... love science that much."
For some reason this time,
as if possessed,
or because she was still young and vague, she spilled it to me.
"...Uh, whatever. Just that."
Then she realized she'd let it slip.
The 2nd round Lee A-ram, too.
"...It's nothing. Don't overthink it."
"Huh, really?"
"Yeah. Really."
Lee A-ram turned her head away and spoke a bit faster than before.
"After seeing you and the science club teacher today, those thoughts are gone anyway."
Then she suddenly blamed me.
"No, just... I was talking nonsense, no need to take it seriously... Hey, what's with that face! If you tell other kids, you're dead?!"
"Tell Hong Ja-hee?"
"Argh, seriously...! If you tell her about this today, you die and then I die?!"
"Haha."
I wondered what face I was making.
Her actions said it all.
Blushing uncharacteristically, even mixing in curses she rarely used.
Honestly.
It was childish, pure middle-school talk.
Middle school syndrome, even.
She knew it, too—she'd kick her blanket hard when she got home.
Regret telling me this forever.
And later, she'd never tell me, her friends, or anyone.
Never talk like this again.
It was truly absurd.
Talk born of ignorance of the world.
Thoughts possible only because she hadn't experienced it.
Disillusioned with so much at a young age.
Her endpoint was here.
That's why she had dreams.
Romance.
Back then, me, them.
We all thought we'd left it behind.
That childish romance.
She still held onto it.
For now.
"Impressive."
So I had to protect it.
Even if she never grew in middle school.
A total loser nerd, body grown but just brute-forcing studies.
Eventually, tainted by society's grime, just an adult gorging on cynical stories.
Me.
But I'd once supported a family as head.
A foolish physicist who chased romance to the end, failing miserably.
So,
"Really. I'm serious."
I had to protect it.
That childish dream,
That romance unattainable in reality,
That pure heart, all the more youthful and beautiful.
"Must've been awkward, but thanks for telling me."
So it wouldn't fade to gray ashes.
"Ah..."
It was a first for her.
First time sharing this with someone.
And hearing thanks for it.
Honestly, half—no, most Koreans,
would just mock: "Why so serious?"
She'd expected that.
That face said it.
"...R-Really? Well, then, good... Glad..."
As she blushed awkwardly again,
"So it was you."
A bit greedy now,
"...What?"
Something she'd never know,
"Now I get it. Who it was, and why."
I brought up that story only regressor me knew, haphazardly.
"...What the hell does that—"
~♪ ~♬
Before she could ask, the bell rang signaling class end.
Like back then in the office, where I'd given her two foreign caramel candies.
"Bell rang. Let's go."
I prepared to leave first again.
While muttering something only I knew, like before,
"It'll be tough."
Quietly, to myself,
"No one to recognize it, no one to reward you."
If things went as she thought,
it'd become mockery.
Surroundings teasing her sudden seriousness, embarrassing her.
Especially Korea—not just back then,
but the future, too. It'd stay that way.
Lookism.
Money worship.
Any value challenging that gets belittled,
turned worthless.
A society where value devolves to vanity.
Not just 2008,
but 2010 two years later,
2020 ten years on,
and even 2030 at the end.
It wouldn't stop— it'd deepen, endlessly.
Our future.
"But thanks to people like you, someone gets saved sometimes. Han So-mi first. And probably—"
Then, I
in a much smaller voice,
barely audible even to me,
"—me too."
Whispered softly.
Science high school, KAIST, exams, quantum computers.
Or since she liked stars, star formation, universe origins, philosophical questions.
Beyond dreams like just now, to present and future talks.
I couldn't tell regression tales, absurd as they were.
But even excluding that, endless things to say.
But rush too much, and you'd choke.
Confirming her heart was enough for today.
"Oh, I wrote the reflection based on our discussion just now. Submit it for both of us, yeah?"
I handed her the pre-printed paper detailing the movie's physics errors, equations and all.
"...W-Wait. You submit this..."
"Please, Lee A-ram."
I left first.
Perplexed Lee A-ram,
"...What the. Then what do I write?! Hey! Hey?!"
She'd suffer a bit.
The way home.
Let me reminisce a bit.
In the 1st round, I was bullied so badly,
but didn't suicide, dragged to 37, finally ending that pathetic life.
The reason.
It gave hope to live over 20 more years,
enduring alone, friendless, pure study grind.
The reason I held out.
Definitely.
Probably transitioning from 1st to 2nd year middle,
life plummeting with Lee Ho-kwon and bullies in class again.
One day amid routine torment,
school was in uproar.
I'd done nothing.
Suddenly Lee Ho-kwon and crew dragged to juvie for school violence.
Then media swarmed, cops, even government folks,
school branded nationwide thug central.
Paradoxically, overt bullying vanished.
Like when I regressed in 1st round and shipped off Lee Ho-kwon and teachers immediately.
Something similar happened in 1st round,
unrelated to me.
And it lasted until I left this school.
Moving to Ilsan, transferring from Sinnong Middle to Ilsin Middle, into 2nd year.
First time in ages,
half a year free from bullying.
Some student gathered evidence over time,
anonymously blasting it to media, police, education ministry.
Even video sites.
Anonymous.
Not revealed.
I never knew who until 1st round ended.
But now in 2nd round regression, it's different.
『Lee A-ram』
▶ Gathered evidence over a year and publicly exposed your bullying as well as all school violence at Sinnong Middle School.
"You were right."
Though causality reversed in 2nd round,
that event erased now,
as if never happened.
"I, saved by you, am proof."
I'd carry on that will.
"Couldn't say it then, shamelessly behind your back. I'll say it now."
So someday,
this embarrassing line,
"Thank you."
I could say proudly to her face.
I truly hoped for that day.