Chapter 5
Chapter 5
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Oh, Happy Day! (5)
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***
[Welcome, Savior of the World.]
“Phew... It’s been ages here too.”
A space filled with nothing but pure white light, where a single black amorphous blob floated aimlessly. This was the cradle of all GG players—the character creation screen.
- Deer Drug Please: It’s been a while for me too. Come to think of it, hardly anyone’s making new accounts and streaming these days, right? Just a few years ago, there were tons.
- Gunpowder and Blood: Probably best to assume they’re all dead. For anyone who’s gone silent in the wasteland for over a year, it’s more practical to search for the corpse.
- Speed Wagon: Considering GG’s impact on real life, the moment a character dies, it hits the player hard too. No need to explain what happened to those streamers grinding brutal missions and churning through characters daily.
These guys... The person about to start that brutal playthrough is right in front of you?
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks a ton for scaring the guy who was psyching himself up to work, viewers.”
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Oh come on, between us...
- Whale is Coming: But is this guy really a newbie? Got curious about who he is, so I lightly poked around with a hacking tool. Recognition frame correction program, voice modulation, full broadcast setup—not a single thing missing.
- Nutria Pass: Holy shit, what a scumbag.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Cam! You hack the cam?
- Whale is Coming: Firewall’s airtight. Definitely not a newbie.
Of course. I went through hell because of that stuff back in the day.
Professor savored the sensation of syncing with the connector just enough, then raised the mic.
“Hahaha, like Whale said, this isn’t my first broadcast. A few years back, I did some survival streaming for a bit. And if I catch anyone pulling that crap again, it’s an instant kick. Appreciate the heads-up?”
- Whale is Coming: Kicking 30 lurkers? Hell no.
+ Player 'Whale is Coming' has been kicked from the chatroom.
+ Player 'Whale is Coming' has entered the chatroom.
- Whale is Coming: Mercy.
- Professor: dd
Already giving me a headache. Ugh, so bitter and spicy. Like raw wasabi.
Those types never go away no matter how much you stomp them. Best to just lightly tidy up early on—show them it’s not okay—and let the chat’s self-correction handle the rest. I trust you, Speed Wagon!
Confirming the sensory sync was complete, Professor pulled over the blinking text box in the corner of his vision.
[Would you like to log in with player 'Professor''s existing character?]
“No.”
[Would you like to create a new character? Creating a new character costs 500,000 sealings, and your existing character will be deleted.]
“Create character.”
[*Warning: Creating an account now will completely delete your existing / World 2 / Atlantic Warrior / World purification rate 68.74% 'Guillotine Professor' character. Are you sure you want to delete it?]
The text box’s blood-red flashing warning made his finger twitch involuntarily. It was the character he’d raised during those hellish days, diving into the game like a madman to escape a horrific reality. A fragment from the time he’d streamed hard to help the family finances, even making a name for himself.
While he got lost in sentiment for a moment, the chat sharing his view exploded.
==========
- Nutria Pass: What? World 2 with 70% purification?
- Whale is Coming: Fuck, this bastard’s a fraud. No money for a generator my ass. That thing alone pulls 50k a day.
- Holy: Uh... I don’t know much, but is that good?
- Speed Wagon: 'Guillotine Professor'. Dual-wield greatsword warrior player. 5 years ago, 2052 rankings #158. His execution play vid of Ravaltan’s Lucirox family hit #2 on popular videos. Streams were solid, if not huge.
- Jokasss: World 2 #1 official clear seed was 84% purification. And Atlantic Warrior’s a hero line that’s supposed to fade out in the story—he grabbed it himself, so he was gunning for a clear seed too. Selling that account alone’s gotta be 2 mil sealings easy.
- Holy: Then... why not play that character and do this unfair contract...
- Gunpowder and Blood: Must have his reasons.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Must have his reasons.
- Nutria Pass: Must have his reasons.
- Jokasss: Miss, gallery rule #1: ‘Don’t pry into others’ personal shit.’ Okay? The world’s fucking insanely crazy.
Who here doesn’t have a personal story? If something screams ‘That doesn’t make sense,’ just assume there’s a reason and move on. Got it?
- Gunpowder and Blood: Sad but true. No death without a story, and none of us haven’t brushed death close.
- Holy: Yes... Sorry.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Ooooh, an apology. First time I’ve seen someone apologize so politely since starting community.
- Whale is Coming: Hawawa...
- Highway Nacho Man: Precious... So precious...
- Holy: Eugh.
Luckily, they sorted it out among themselves. Our chat folks look rotten on the outside, but they’re sweet inside! They handle it all on their own!
Still, it’s a stream now. If I just let it sit, people will bail, so time to move on. He squeezed his eyes shut and firmly pressed the still flashing red ‘Yes’ on the text box.
- Ding!
[Character completely deleted. Creating new character.]
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Holy shit, he really deleted it.
- Number Three: What kinda reason...
- Morning Joy Multi-Time: Men must beware their reasons. Indeed.
- Take a Look: Damn, for real.
- Jokasss: Shiiiit! It’s starting!
The floating black blob drifted toward him, then scattered like mist, reforming into bold lines of text.
+ Race
+ Gender
+ Appearance
+ Age
+ Starting
+ Origin
+ Traits
One of this game’s features: minimal system interference. No levels, quests only log what you see and hear. No proper maps, time, or player status. No levels means no stat gains from leveling, making natural stat growth brutally hard. Stats are covered by traits instead, but everyone agrees character growth is a massive pain.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Hey Professor, ready?
“Don’t know, fuck.”
500k. A whopping 500k account. New GG accounts often take a day short, three weeks long to decide. The character creation stage hugely impacts play, and failure’s opportunity cost is massive.
- Deer Drug Please: For the stream’s sake, one question. Got a desired character image or traits?
“Of course. I was a ranker, after all. Warrior traits, like... ‘Unyielding Will’, ‘Blue Heart’, ‘Hundred Battles Veteran’, ‘Growth Phase’ or so?”
- Deer Drug Please: Look at that greed. Trying to snag both Growth Phase and Hundred Battles Veteran. A fresh-faced vet.
- Highway Nacho Man: Blue Heart’s shield warrior trait, right? Community logs say you were a greatsword warrior?
- Mukaba: Greatsword warriors bleed a lot, so unless you want a berserker, you gotta pick a calm trait like Blue Heart.
- Highway Nacho Man: Who’re you?
- Mukaba: Newbie.
- Highway Nacho Man: Hi.
- Mukaba: Yeah.
All spot on. Game’s old, so ideal growth combos were conquered ages ago. ‘Blue Heart’ prevents making a murder-happy psycho, ‘Unyielding Will’ toughens the character’s mentality so the synced player stays sane.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Hey Professor, done slurping kimchi soup? Time to spin?
- Professor: Ptooey.
All pipe dreams anyway. The character I’ll end up with is full-random trash.
“...Right. Gotta listen to our sponsor! Alright, everyone! Full random, 1 veto pick play—starting now!”
He slammed the [Realistic Mode] and [All Random Selection] buttons at the bottom corner of the trait screen.
Ding-!
[*Warning: Realistic Mode goes beyond immersive experience. All player and character senses sync 100%. Gedroits Company offers no compensation for fatal mental disorders or neural trauma resulting. Agree? YES / NO]
One brutal warning.
“YES.”
[Agreement confirmed. - Realistic / All Random Selection - Game start.]
Whirr-!
The moment he pressed, the trait text spun like a roulette, slowing from the top. First: race.
- Jokasss: Du-gu-du-gu-du...
- Holy: Elf! I wanna see an elf!
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: tag: horseman
- Highway Nacho Man: What’s so great about horsefuckers anyway.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Horsekin custom panties off? That heavy lower half shows right through.
- Highway Nacho Man: Wow.
- Mukaba: Info / Unlimited 19+ play streams still pick horsekin #1.
Click!
+ Race: [Human]
+ Gender: [Male]
“Yes!!! ”
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Nooooo!!!!!
- Jokasss: Aww, no fun.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Even TS failed!
- Deer Drug Please: Soy Gaybar’s unlucky.
- Speed Wagon: More believable Professor set water and slammed his forehead spinning it.
- Gunpowder and Blood: Lacked sincerity.
No fun or not, human’s always best. 70%+ randoms are human, main race in most worlds means way more events. Top clearers in heaven realms all use human, so good items sell easy. Gender? Duh, male. I’m a guy.
Next.
Whirr-
Click!
+ Age: Growth Phase. 20 years old.
+ Appearance: Set (Hulking / Muscular / Pale / Rough)
“Oh!”
- Jokasss: Not bad?
- Speed Wagon: Looks hit-or-miss, but performance’ll be top-tier.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Hey! Stop! Invalid! Invalid!
The character preview was a warrior incarnate. Over 190cm hulking frame, shoulders like shelves, pecs like mountains, lats like an ocean! At 19, still growing room, and already this!
In GG, appearance is a stat. Muscular starts high strength/potential, slender gets agility, frail gets low max HP. Handsome gets diplomacy/likeability bonuses, higher hero worship on quests. Sadly, this one’s got bulging eyes, bristly beard on an angular face—no charm bonus. But perfect base for a warrior.
- Jokasss: Atmosphere’s getting intense?
- Number Three: This momentum... maybe?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Keeek! Shut up! Negativity incoming!
“Come on! Keep it going! Please!”
Can’t lose this vibe. Next.
Whirrr-
Clunk!
+ Starting: [World 3 / Random]
+ Origin: [Bastard Son of a Fallen Knight Family]
“...Holy shit.”
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Crash bang boom! (Desk thrown SFX)
- Jokasss: Insane.
- Mukaba: This ain’t just any account.
- Morning Joy Multi-Time: Host scam map! Host scam map!
“...Yo, this the one I’m thinking?”
- Speed Wagon: Yup. Matches conditions.
With trembling hands, he accessed the gallery via Corduro’s video panel. Among countless posts, the always-pinned top one from #1 ranker ‘Levit Princess’.
==========
Hi! Levit here! No matter how hard I push World 4, no answer in sight!
Pretty sure Thousand Stream Emperor that old fart gave me a fake seed, so better clear World 3 myself and challenge 4 with it!! So annoyingly, posting myself!
Conditions simple! Buying ‘Childhood’ / ‘Growth Phase’ characters from World 3 with traits for ‘Cold Avenger’ growth, at fair price! Planning max buys, so if you roll similar in creation, hit me up! Don’t waste playing yourselves!
DM my ID right away! Best price buys!
- Levit Princess -
==========
Players can set 3 conditions at creation. Rest random like mine. Usually one starting for official seed, 1-2 traits or race, rest random.
So that #1’s seeking rare combo—few exist, high price.
“Ho, anyone know growth path for [Bastard Son of a Fallen Knight Family]...?”
- Speed Wagon: Loyal Knight / Buried Knight / Broken Sword Ghost / Super versatile origin, covers almost all knight lines. Includes Cold Avenger obvs. Knew you wanted this?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Uwaaaahhmeerimaeiwoa[email protected](#!(#@(!(
- Highway Nacho Man: Soy Gaybar, you know sprinkling red pepper means traitor? Bluntly, sell this perfect char, Professor refunds your 700k with change.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: @#)(@#$&*(!))#*[email protected]
- Holy: Shoulda thought pure-hearted ^^
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Not yet... Traits left! Fuck it there, worthless!
- Jokasss: True that.
Yeah, too early for cheers. But human nature... can’t stay calm. Like lotto jackpot, one number left.
“No no no! Snap out, Professor! Not time to hype! Whew, wheeeew...”
“Master, your hands are shaking?”
“Cold. It’s cold!”
Whirr-
While bullshitting Corduro, next roulette slowed. Crucial [Traits]. Random 3-6 traits.
Click-! Ding!
+ Trait 1: [Curiosity] - Interest surges for new worlds met. Positive effect on skill growth speed.
“Oh!”
Pass.
Click! Click!
+ Trait 2: [Mana Aptitude] - You sense an unknown energy. Positive effect on mana-related growth.
+ Trait 3: [Sparkling Gaze] - You see the world a bit more beautifully. Bonus to art-related activities.
“Ooooh!!!!”
Fuck it. Pop the champagne.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: I... wanna... go home...
- Mukaba: Godpick! Godpick! Godpick!
- Whale is Coming: Bogdanov, he... did it!
- Jokasss: professor is he a god!professor is he a god!professor is he a god!professor is he a god!
- Highway Nacho Man: This hits hard.
Like his heart, chat was festival minus one.
- Speed Wagon: All-rounder traits. Skill growth not physical, so mage #1 pick. Pure warrior fine, magic warrior too. Broken. Drop art, still amazing.
Traits perfect—couldn’t ask better! Sell now 1.5 mil, cert pic auction to rankers 2 mil easy? Thanks ancestors!
Gambling’s cruel. Smiling victoriously, he soothed his dear sponsor.
“Heh heh heh. That’s how it is, folks. Ah, damn. Concept play sounded fun~, but GG full clear’s humanity’s tech future on the line, right? Know that? Full clear perk sends GG HQ coords. Key mold to treasure vault of old era’s tech essence forming!
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Euugh, hueeek, no way...
“Heh heh. Sooooo...”
Deep in happy delusion, an unwanted sound hit his ear.
Whirrr-!!
“Uh......”
No. Stop. This is enough.
- Whale is Coming: Huh? Still spinning?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: One coin! One coin! One coin!
Random traits weren’t done—more coming.
Whirr-! Click!
+ Trait 4: [Glass Body]: Your body took catastrophic damage fleeing family enemies. Max physical durability fixed at '90'.
+ Trait 5: [Honorable Soul] - You inherited your father’s valor. Certain situations fix choices to ‘Honor’ options.
“Ah.....”
God. Do you hate me that much?
Situation flipped instantly.
- Whale is Coming: Boom! (Game explode SFX)
- Jokasss: Boom! (Professor gut explode SFX)
* Soy Sauce Gaybar donated 70 sealings!
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Kekekekekek what now? Drank heirloom kimchi soup, head exploded! Kekekekeke
Heaven to hell feels like this?
“Uh, u-uh, any way to s-save...?”
- Speed Wagon: Glass Body’s rough. Growth limit traits are true mines—step on, char delete. Or Rohendel bless to erase one neg trait.
“Oh! Right! Erase Glass Body, still tier 1 char! Start, rush Rohendel straight, erase one, still sellable...”
- Speed Wagon: Archbishop’s Benediction - min 9 mil sealings. Plus depending on church affinity.
“YEEEEM EAAAT SHIT!!!!!”
- Mukaba: 5 traits issue too. Branch forces honor only? Can’t unlock ‘Cold Avenger’. Fucked.
- Jokasss: Eh, normal for random.
Dizzy. Chat noise gone. Farewell, my shiny 100-gallon gasoline warehouse. Bye, wasteland sand absorber. Won’t meet you.
While mentally slashing ‘1.3 mil shopping list’, sponsor’s vibe revived from chat corner.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Kekekeke so 100% flop, right? Can sprinkle ashes no hate?
- Speed Wagon: Yup. Ranker sale dead on honor, warrior impossible on glass. Mage char savable maybe. Stack shields.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Yesssssss~!!!!! Hey Professor, snap out! Using veto here!
Right. Forgot this.
With sponsor’s word, noisy chat silenced. Black cursor blinked ominously dozens times on white bg. Finally, trait deciding char fate appeared.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Trait 6: [Mental Fragility].
.
.
.
.
.
.
- Jokasss: Wow...... devilishly evil.
‘Mental Fragility. What was that?’
Contract condition, so added. Game hates players—unlimited neg traits, even full random can add negs.
+ Trait 6: [Mental Fragility] - Your mind is utterly frail. You startle easy, scare quick, hard to focus.
“......Delete char?”
Seeing trait screen, last hope crumbled.
***