Chapter 4
Chapter 4
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 4
Chapter Title: Oh, Happy Day! (4)
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***
"Fuck."
Yeah, I knew it was coming. Internet communities are basically sewers of culture, swarming with twisted desires and manias. After the Great Catastrophe, anonymity had ballooned into a monster several times bigger than before.
And starting a broadcast meant facing that massive, filthy beast head-on. I knew that.
- Jokasss: kekekekeke
- Deer Drug Please: kekekekekeke
- Speed Wagon: I definitely remember convincing you properly.
- Professor: That's how it turned out.
- Highway Nacho Man: kekekekekeke
In the end, screw mental health or whatever—after I announced I'd make a living off broadcasts, the chat room exploded. And for good reason...
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: kekekekeke kid, life doesn't go the way you want it to~
- Deer Drug Please: That's what makes life fun, right?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: You confirm the goods and the rest of the payment? I might not know much, but I know you follow the code of the rivers and lakes. No mercy, so brace yourself kekekeke
Finding a sponsor faster than expected was great, and it being someone from our local chat room was even better.
But why the hell did it have to be Soy Sauce Gaybar? A certified psycho with a shattered personality over seven years! Pure evil! The kind of guy where if 100 people know him, all 100 shake their heads!
Having to take conditional play from that bastard!
My throat was already itching like crazy, tempted to blurt out "lol jk, just kidding^^" and go scrap-hunting in the wasteland. But at my feet, the red gas can had arrived like a shackle, flaunting its presence.
- Speed Wagon: Damn, you found one quick.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: I got money. How could I just watch someone die one step away from starvation over a measly can of that black gooey oil?
- Jokasss: Don't pretend you're normal, you lunatic.
- Highway Nacho Man: Don't pretend you're human, you freak.
Yeah. Right after the broadcast announcement, to shut down the dissuading chats fast, I posted: "Generator's busted, not joining any other faction even if it kills me, no gas means no spare generator." Then came the chat: "Ah, then send the oil minus account fees?" Eight hours later, here was a full can of gas right in front of me.
"I'm aliiiive!! We're aliiiive now, Master! Electricity! Aaaah, blessed electricity spreading to every corner of the shelter!"
"You're alive. I'm not."
"Aw~ Why so tense? They're all people we know. You think they'll work you to the bone or something?"
"That's exactly why I'm tense, you idiot."
Honestly, I had a sliver of hope. Maybe behind the wild chats, he's a decent guy. Seven years of built-up friendship—even without faces—maybe he'd request something normal and wholesome!
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Hmm... 700k worth of gas exactly, so 3~4 traits sounds fair, right?
- Professor: Yeah.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: "Legendary Stench," "Terminal Exhibitionism," "Unique Diet: Filth," "Habitual Vomiting"
- Professor: Dude, where do you even live.
=========
Of course, that hope shattered on the first move.
- Jokasss: You... are something else...
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: 700k.
- Jokasss: A saint of humanity right here!
- Deer Drug Please: For a 700k advance, you'd thank him and bow twice lololol
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Gulp gulp.
- Professor: Have some mercy... This is how I'm gonna eat from now on...
Yeah, close my eyes, roll in the maggots like a clown for a month, and I might survive. But my old generator will keep guzzling gas, and I'll need to farm ceils steadily to pay for it.
I could take shit options, but at least make it sustainable for broadcasts. Who'd pay to watch a naked guy eating and puking shit?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Okay. Let's go with a classic then. Seed 9274983, 'Billy the Murderer' world. Sound good? Proven to hype broadcasts. Oh yeah, Billy hasn't streamed lately—what's he up to?
- Speed Wagon: Killed himself. Radar found him with his guts spilled using a giant razor blade replica from the game. Posted proof in the gallery.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Uh... well... Professor's got a strong mind, right?
- Jokasss: Fuck off.
- Holy: Even I think that's too much...
I knew that Billy guy would end up like that from his streams. Stick a psychopath killer in a normal head, and something's bound to blow big. That's a bigger landmine than the last conditions. Obviously rejected.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: ...Hah, this sucks. Hey, you think I'm a pushover?
When I showed refusal again, Soy Sauce Bastard started getting pissed, chats turning nasty.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Gave you 700k, and this no, that no... Hey Professor, got nothing to say? Gonna eat and run? I look like an idiot to you? Why? Gonna keep rejecting till I pick exactly what you like?
- Holy: No, you still gotta keep requests reasonable...
- Highway Nacho Man: Tsk. Holy, how old are you?
- Holy: Seventeen...
- Highway Nacho Man: Ten during the Catastrophe, talks and acts like raised fancy in Upper Dome or something, new to communities...
- Jokasss: Hey Nacho, quit digging. Follow the rules, punk.
- Highway Nacho Man: Wait. Gotta educate. Miss, sheltered life, you don't know... Communities have radars posting too, right?
- Holy: ...Yeah.
- Highway Nacho Man: They get 200k to track and kill one person. 700k gets you three heads with limbs optional.
- Deer Drug Please: ...Also price of 300 lowest-grade calorie bars. Two weeks' food for a small group.
- Holy: !!!!!
- Highway Nacho Man: Soy Sauce's 700k is basically Professor's life price. He should obey any demand, but Professor's cocky on thin friendship. Fault's Professor's, not Soy Sauce. Got it?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Kyaa, Nacho defending me. Live long! That was a peace gesture??
- Highway Nacho Man: Fuck off.
"...Damn, he's got a mouth on him."
All true. What I'm doing is selling seven years of friendship to beg for my life. No guilt, though. Like wastelanders, I won't lose out. Friendship's on the auction block—gonna squeeze more value. In this shitty world, life weighs heaviest, so sell everything you can.
As the chat chilled, right when I was about to say something, Speed Wagon dropped the solution, as always.
- Speed Wagon: How about this.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: What.
- Speed Wagon: That trend from like 3 years ago. Random traits condition.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Nah. Price doesn't match. That was 400k tops. Even with inflation, I'm losing a head's worth.
- Speed Wagon: But all random instead of 4 traits. Job, race, traits, appearance... everything randomizable. You pick one from the full random to swap to what you want. Realistic, obviously height.
- Jokasss: Ooh.
- Highway Nacho Man: Fresh. Balanced too.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Hmm... what if something OP pops? I'd be pissed.
- Deer Drug Please: That's why one pick trait. To dump shit on a lucky Professor. GG ain't an easy game pushing with mismatched random traits anyway?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Yeah, makes sense. Okay, call. Professor?
- Professor: Call.
I shot up from my seat without thinking.
"Of course call! Speed Wagon, paragon of our era! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Uh... is it that great? Could get a bunch of nasty stuff and be real danger, or even good traits but opponent can flip the combo with their pick?"
"Hell yeah it's great! Normally I'd start loaded with crap traits and shut up, but now there's a shot at good start by throwing a tantrum!"
Best negotiation outcome possible. Full random start—topical, good for broadcasts. Not bad. No, perfect!
No time to waste. Lock it before he changes mind. Draft the contract.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Yeah, solid. Getting more fun the more I think.
- Professor: So deal: full random start / 'Soy Sauce Gaybar' picks 1 trait / maintain play & broadcast 1 month (5 IG months) excluding minimal rest / Realistic mode / Agree?
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Yeah agree. Hit trade confirm?
- Professor: Ok
Both hit trade confirm, system message: "Trade processed successfully."
Big reason ceils are reserve currency: no confirm, trade cancels, Gedroits drones return items.
Friction? Instant ban.
With GG community—only real-time long-range comm via Gedroits satellites—ban means social cutoff. Even Dome taking limbless rejects bans.
Touch drones for parts? Ban, bio-signal track, ban all IPs in 500m radius. So drones fly free in chaos.
Anyway, contract done. Crisis eased, neck tension gone.
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Alright, strike while iron hot—paid up, start now? Everyone seated!
- Speed Wagon: /seated/
- Jokasss: Hurryyyy!! I'm dizzy!!!!
- Holy: Heart pounding!
+ player 'Nutria Pass' entered the chat room
- Nutria Pass: Heard the rumors. This the full random 1 negapick Realistic broadcast?
- Whale is Coming: This room's streams slap.
- Morning Joy Multi-Time: Spread the word in our local chat too.
+ player '....' entered...
+ player '....' entered...
+ player '....' entered...
- Soy Sauce Gaybar: Welcome newbies! I'm the host, Soy Sauce Gaybar! 700k concept play, enjoy since we started!
- Gunpowder and Blood: Unfamiliar vibe.
- Jokasss: BANG BANG BANG!!! Host!!! Open the door!!!! People waiting!!!!
- Whale is Coming: BANG BANG BANG!!
- Nutria Pass: Open the doooor!!!!
==========
"Master, ready?"
"Yeah. Can't react to outside for a bit, so amp the stealth field and shield output."
"Yep. Sweet dreams."
Hiss—thunk.
Pod door shut, soft interior enveloped me. Cozy yet tensely exciting sensation after 2 years.
"Really swore I'd never do this again..."
Eh, life turns—think positive. Game's bad influence means potential good too. Compare wasteland hell outside to game—100/100 pick game for mental health. Why people can't quit despite dangers.
Musing as bio-pattern scan finished, lights out, body floated, soft woman's voice.
[Welcome, Professor. For the world beyond the world. Connect to Gedroits's Game?]
Slight annoyance at the overplayed voice, but swallowed. Don't think. Survival on the line.
"Connect."
Words ended, blinding light swallowed me.
***