Ha Ildo Unleashed a Dog-Squirrel into a T-Rank Rift! # 3
“Ha Ildo, long time no see!”
Jo Jang-hee threw her hand up in a bright wave.
“So the promotion to B-Rank was real! I never dreamed we'd end up meeting again in front of a B-Rank rift of all places.”
Jo Jang-hee had been one of my C-Rank batchmates.
Beside her stood a man with glasses, Seol Myeong-hoon, a heavy pack slung over his shoulders.
“The odds of a C-Ranker making it to B-Rank are roughly twenty percent of the entire C-Rank population,” Seol Myeong-hoon said. “All three of us reaching B-Rank at once — statistically speaking, it's a remarkable event.”
“It would've been perfect if Jina were here too!”
True enough.
If Lee Jina had been with us, our old C-Rank batch team would have been fully reunited.
Honestly, judged on raw talent alone, Jina had more than enough potential to make B-Rank herself. But getting there required the Tatong Circuit Inscription procedure, and Jina, a broke commoner just like me, simply didn't have the money. I decided to skip the backstory and keep it simple.
“Jina will be joining us soon enough.”
At my words, Jo Jang-hee's eyes narrowed into a knowing gleam.
“Oho? Speaking of which, you two seem awfully close these days. I saw on Insta-gram you went on a cruise together. What exactly are you two? What's the story?”
Seol Myeong-hoon chimed in as well.
“Statistically, awakeners who clear rifts together become couples about twenty percent of the time. There's the suspension-bridge effect to consider, and awakeners tend to be drawn to other awakeners anyway.”
Awakeners are drawn to other awakeners?
Wasn't that just superstition?
Seol Myeong-hoon launched into some explanation about how “mana and mana exert a mutual attraction, similar to the way rifts open across this land—”, but I lost the thread fast.
Anyway.
Today the four of us had agreed to tackle a B-Rank rift together.
“My name is Im Si-hyeon! The Association gave me the title West Wind. Because I shoot arrows like the west wind, you see.”
The man who stepped into Jina's vacant spot introduced himself as Im Si-hyeon — an archer, and with only about three B-Rank rift clears to his name, something of a rookie by B-Rank standards.
Of course, with zero B-Rank rift clears myself, I wasn't even a rookie. I was a total newbie.
West Wind, huh.
Pretty atmospheric and cool-sounding nickname.
Soon Seol Myeong-hoon spoke up.
“A second name matters a lot from a marketing standpoint. These days even awakeners need to manage their personal brand. In my case, for instance, I was given the title Analyst — presumably on account of my awakened detection-type abilities—.”
Analyst.
As in, someone who analyzes this and that and explains things well.
It was a remarkably well-fitting nickname.
“What about you, Jo Jang-hee?” I asked.
Our team leader gave a little chuckle.
“Mine's a bit embarrassing to admit. I was christened the Blue Eagle! Apparently when I use my skills, it sounds like a bird of prey screeching—.”
So that was it.
Everyone here had grown and honed themselves.
Now every eye in the group turned to me.
“And you, Ha Ildo?” Jo Jang-hee asked.
I answered honestly.
“I only made B-Rank recently, so I don't have a nickname yet. But I did just come back from a T-Rank rift, so I'm hoping a title will come out of it.”
Wouldn't I get something cool? I'd taken down an A-Rank Giant, after all. Giant Killer. Or maybe Attack on Giant — something like that.
While I was musing, Seol Myeong-hoon said, “How about something like Keongkeongi's Keeper? Or Friend of Keongkeongi.”
I mean, that possibility wasn't exactly zero.
Anyway.
We entered the B-Rank rift.
Cold crystal formations crowded in from every direction, and this was a place where trolls came crawling out with crystals crusted all over their bodies.
And it was freezing.
“Like I said — from B-Rank on up, even the environment is no joke!”
Jo Jang-hee pulled her jacket tight around herself.
But having just witnessed the hellish conditions of a T-Rank rift not long ago, none of this looked especially dangerous to me.
That said, complacency is forbidden in any rift, I supposed.
“They say you brought down an A-Rank Magma Giant, Ha Ildo! Your skills are as sharp as ever! You made things easy for the rest of us. And you too, Keongkeongi — good work out there.”
Shff shff—.
Jo Jang-hee stroked Keongkeongi while offering him a peanut.
Seol Myeong-hoon marveled as well.
“The average B-Rank clear takes around five hours. We cut that by a full thirty percent. I never even got to fire the heavy rifle I brought.”
Everyone heaped praise on Keongkeongi and me.
Felt pretty good, not gonna lie.
Even Im Si-hyeon, whom I'd only met today, held out a business card.
“Ha Ildo. If you're ever looking for something — anything — give me a call. I also run a private detective agency.”
Ah, I see.
Best to keep the card safe, then.
Come to think of it, I had a card of my own.
Master of the House — Ha Ildo
Certified Nymph-Friendly Person!
I pulled out the business card Oinoi had made for me.
It was a piece of white paper with wobbly crayon lettering, and the moment Im Si-hyeon saw it, he threw his head back and roared with laughter. “That's a fantastic business card.”
Yeah, I know it's funny.
But the nymphs absolutely adored this card.
Anyway.
And so, in that spirit, I rode home in Seol Myeong-hoon's car.
The moment I got back, I found S-Rank awakener Cassie out in the yard, shouting her head off.
“I can't catch a single one! Dog-Squirrels! I want to catch one!”
“Hee hee, to catch a Dog-Squirrel, strength alone is not sufficient, it is not…! One must employ wisdom and dedication, it is not…!”
I see.
So she'd been struggling to catch Dog-Squirrels all day long.
Click—chk-chk!
Cassie racked something that looked like a long rifle.
“Then I'll just shoot it with a tranquilizer—”
Oinoi went pale at the suggestion.
“You mustn't! A Dog-Squirrel caught that way can never be tamed for life, it cannot…! Dog-Squirrels possess exceedingly delicate and sensitive hearts, and so one must absolutely never fire arrows or guns at them, one must not…!”
Right.
The only thing you were permitted to use to catch a Dog-Squirrel was a wooden trap.
Use anything else, apparently, and their affection for you would crater instead — all because of their tender little souls.
━Keng-keng…!
Watching Keongkeongi rolling around in the sand over there, I did wonder just how “sensitive” his feelings really were.
Soon Oinoi offered a clarification.
“Keongkeongi is the exception, he is…! Even by this Oinoi's judgment, Keongkeongi is a somewhat peculiar Dog-Squirrel, he is…! Verily, he is the Prime Dog-Squirrel of Dog-Squirrels, he is…!”
That tracked.
Keongkeongi was pretty thick-skinned for a Dog-Squirrel.
Truly a five-billion-won Keongkeongi.
Five billion won.
Just imagining that enormous sum made the world swim before my eyes.
Wouldn't it be nice if Keongkeongi had some babies for us?
Beep-beep—.
Just then, the smartwatch on Cassie's wrist went off.
“A trap has been triggered!”
Cassie bolted off at full sprint.
Soon we found a Dog-Squirrel caught inside a wooden cage. Its fur was reddish all over, and its tail was short, as if it had been sliced in half.
━Krrrr…!
The Dog-Squirrel puffed itself up.
It looked positively furious about being caught in a wooden trap.
“How do we proceed from here?” Cassie asked me.
How do we proceed?
Beats me.
This was my first time seeing a Dog-Squirrel caught in a trap.
Usually the Dog-Squirrels were the ones approaching humans.
Oinoi studied the sight and spoke up.
“It appears it was desperately hungry and starving, and got itself caught while eating the peanuts left in the trap, it appears…! A Dog-Squirrel caught like this will grow docile if you feed and care for it for several days, it does…!”
It was much like the way you'd tame an abandoned puppy or kitten.
Cassie carefully transferred the Dog-Squirrel into a cage she'd prepared in advance.
━Krrrr…! Keng-keng…!
The little beast thrashed and snapped, but hunger must have drained its strength, because it went quietly into the cage. Soon Cassie declared:
“OH, SHIT! Dog-Squirrel! Caught it! Quite possibly the first American ever! Cassie has taken a first step as great as Armstrong leaving his footprint on the moon!”
She was genuinely ecstatic.
Everyone who'd ever caught a Dog-Squirrel reacted like this, come to think of it.
So even S-Rank awakeners were no different, huh.
Vroom—.
Just then a car pulled up in front of our house.
It was a compact sedan, and two people climbed out.
“Ah—! The nymph sisters have arrived, they have!”
Oinoi threw her arms up in delight.
And Cha Yura frowned.
“How many times do I have to tell you — I am not a nymph!”
“But it is so terribly confusing, it is…! Every time this Oinoi sees Yuranoi, she seems so like a nymph sister, she does…!”
Yuranoi, now that was another new one.
The nymph ecosystem still had plenty of corners I couldn't untangle.
Soon Illinoi gave a wicked little grin.
“Today the nymph sisters were planning to make a thing called dalgona — candy toffee — with honey made by the Honey Ants, but anyone who is not a nymph cannot participate, they cannot…!”
“What? You're making dalgona? Is it tasty? Tastier than Honey Ant candy?”
“Compared to ant-honey dalgona, mere candy is a nymph-phobic taste, it is…! Dalgona is a berry-berry delicious food, it is…!”
“Even this Coris believes dalgona is four times tastier, it does…! I want to eat it so badly my back is itching, it does…!”
“G-give me some too! I'll take your Honorary Nymph test or whatever it is!”
“Ah—! To become one of our nymph sisters, one must undergo a perilous trial, one must…! Verily, this Oinoi shall watch over her and see whether she can overcome it, she shall…!”
Soon Cha Yura and the nymph sisters all wandered off toward the warehouse where the dalgona machine was set up.
Why on earth had Cha Yura come here, anyway?
It was nice watching her get along with the nymphs, though.
I should ask Ari.
“Ari. What brings you by?”
“Senior. It's nothing much — this week is my vacation, you see. I wanted to try enjoying a little minimalist life out in the countryside, and you happened to cross my mind. You know, like a digital nomad.”
Minimalist life.
Digital nomad.
Very trendy of her.
“There are a few spare rooms around here, sure. But people keep coming through to catch Dog-Squirrels and staying a while, so I don't know if there's anything open. I'll call the village head and ask if a room's free.”
“Really?”
Ari lit up with delight.
Just then—
“Mr. Ildo! Thanks to you, I caught the Dog-Squirrel! Thank you berry much! With the female caught, only the male remains, and then it is OK!”
Shff—.
Having apparently transferred the Dog-Squirrel safely into its cage, Cassie came marching up to me and flung her arms wide.
And before I could react, she pulled me into a hug and planted a kiss right on my cheek!
Smooch—.
I nearly jumped out of my skin.
So this was the American style?
Truly, even in a world that had been through the 5th Industrial Revolution, America was still a developed nation!
But Ari, who'd been beaming with joy just moments before, forgot all of it and went ice-cold.
Shff—.
She pulled Cassie off me and spoke with unsettling calm.
“What exactly do you think you're doing? If you come to Korea, you follow Korean manners. Do you not know it's rude to go around hugging and kissing people? Ha Ildo sunbae doesn't like it!”
Actually.
I didn't exactly dislike it.
Still, Korea's customs were different from America's — different emotional register, you could say.
But Cassie just chuckled.
“I know! Cassie's grandfather was a veteran! I know Korea very well! Cassie is interested in Mr. Ildo! A kind and family-oriented man! Is Mr. Ildo not interested in Cassie?”