Murim Nymph # 4
"Muhhehe, do you know this…? All martial arts are said to have derived from the Nymph Secret Technique: Random Beating…! That is what Illinoi is declaring…!"
We were taking a ship to Shanghai, since loading all the animals onto a plane would have been impossible.
Illinoi, apparently having watched some strange documentary or MeTube video from who knows where, was spouting rather dubious theories.
"The fact that all martial arts trace their origins to Nymph Secret Techniques is recorded even in the Goguryeo Melon Scroll, which chronicles the ancient history of the world…! Not the Watermelon Scroll, mind you — the Melon Scroll…!"
What finally silenced her chatter was the ice cream Coris brought back.
"This Coris has purchased ice cream…! All the nymph sisters must share it together…!"
Coris returned with a huge paper bowl of vanilla ice cream, and both Oinoi and Illinoi thrust their hands up in a flash and began scooping away with their spoons like there was no tomorrow.
"Ahh…! It's all gone…!"
"Despite the title, this ice cream was not at all 'together'…! For us nymphs to eat deliciously, we would require at least three bowls…!"
And so the voyage was one noisy, clamorous affair.
I glanced over at Mom and Dad.
"I'm not going on this trip for fun, so you two will have to travel around on your own."
I had told my family that I needed to go to China.
But they'd both insisted on coming along.
Dad was on sabbatical this year and figured, why not, he wanted to take a trip abroad.
And as a bonus, my little sister Ha Irae had tagged along too.
"Oppa, look at this! Keongkeongi is so cute! Keongkeongi! Bark for me!"
━Woof-woof…!
Irae was absolutely beside herself over Keongkeongi, the honey ant Angangi, and the wolf spider Kwangkwangi — petting their backs, feeding them snacks, snapping photos with her phone and plastering them all over social media. It was pure chaos.
"Oh, oppa, by the way — did you thank Yerim-unni? She's the one funding our family trip! A family vacation overseas! That's a first for us, isn't it? Huh?"
We'd taken plenty of domestic trips as a family, but this was definitely our first time leaving the country.
Even if, in my case, it wasn't exactly a vacation.
Just then Seo Yerim, who had been tapping away at her phone with a rather serious expression, spoke up.
"Ha Ildo is an honorary employee of the Telos Group. Roughly team-leader level. Team leaders get annual travel funding for family trips, and I used that. So there's no need to thank me."
"Amazing! That's a mega-corporation for you! I want to work at Telos too! I hear their company cafeteria is famous for being delicious! Unni! Can't you get me a job there? Huh? Even as a janitor!"
Wham-.
Irae threw her arms around Seo Yerim's waist.
Irae had always been shamelessly affectionate with people, and she loved running around, playing, and petting animals.
Which was probably why she was hopeless at studying — getting hired at a corporate giant like Telos was a dream she couldn't even dream.
Mom chuckled softly.
"Aigoo, how wonderful would it be to have a daughter like our Yerim? Your father and I just adore her. Such a pretty girl who films water purifier commercials so well. Handles all her work flawlessly! And so polite, too!"
"There's really no need to think of it that way, ma'am. Just call me Yerim. And I'm perfectly ordinary at home too…!"
Seo Yerim might have been sharp-tongued and exacting, but she was honey-sweet with elders.
Truly befitting a popular S-Rank awakener and celebrity.
Then Mom grinned slyly and said,
"Well then, Yerim — our Ildo is dating Jina, but… honestly, he seems so wobbly and half-hearted that I expect she'll dump him any day now. He supposedly has a girlfriend, but he barely takes her on dates, you know?"
My heart gave a guilty lurch.
Swish-.
Mom narrowed her eyes and looked straight at me.
"You're not actually dating her, are you? You're just pretending to be together so you can lie to your mother? It's because I keep asking when you're getting married and when you'll find a girlfriend, isn't it?"
"……"
I had never been good at lying.
Which is why Mom saw right through me in an instant.
"Yerim, tell me — I'm only saying this because if things go on like this, Ildo will live alone until he just up and drops dead one day — but is there… um, by any chance, among the nice young women at Telos, anyone who might take a liking to Ildo…?"
My face inexplicably burned hot.
Back in my adolescence—.
I'd had plenty of friends who squirmed with embarrassment whenever their parents gossiped about them in front of others, but I'd never been one of them.
But this was just pushing it, wasn't it!
Then my little sister chimed in.
"I actually think Yerim-unni should marry our oppa! Of course, Yerim-unni is way out of our league and she lives in a completely different world from us, so I wouldn't dare even bring it up…!"
"Mom secretly thinks so too! If a lovely, capable, sweet-natured woman like Yerim, who respects her elders so well, came into our family as a daughter-in-law, I honestly couldn't wish for anything more…!"
Apparently Mom harbored a quiet wish for Seo Yerim to become the daughter-in-law of our household.
She'd had one taste of a mega-corporation owner family's privileges, and now there was no snapping her out of it.
I say this about my own mother, but she does have a… somewhat mercenary streak.
"D-da… daughter-in-law…?!"
Seo Yerim's face went bright red.
The ambient temperature promptly rose by about a degree.
And Illinoi, who had been eating her ice cream, threw a tantrum.
"Ahh…! Illinoi's ice cream has become past tense…! This is not 'together' but boiling water…! Call a lawyer at once…!"
As Illinoi raged on, Seo Yerim — apparently a little stung by Mom's comments — flushed crimson and fanned her face rapidly with her palms.
Our family belonged to a respectable middle class thanks to Dad's hard work as a professor, but telling a chaebol princess to come marry into a house like ours would have been the height of presumption.
"Mom! Unless oppa is secretly hiding a wedding gown, that's never happening!"
"Fair enough. Yerim, that last bit was just a joke! Ho ho ho!"
Soon the nymphs and Irae were raising a ruckus again, so I climbed up onto the deck.
Shaaaa-.
In the distance, the dazzling lights of Shanghai were beginning to come into view.
The Murim Alliance of Shanghai.
When I found the awakener agency — a building shaped like a traditional Eastern pagoda — and presented my invitation, a woman in a red cheongsam looked me up and down with a slow, sweeping gaze.
"Are you Ha Ildo of the Dog-Squirrels?"
Her Korean was excellent.
In truth, these days, any institution dealing with awakeners anywhere in the world tended to speak good Korean.
Translation AI had grown highly sophisticated, and since Korean awakeners were frequently dispatched on business and assignments across the globe, there were any number of occasions when the language came in handy.
Who could have guessed Korean would become the most economically advantageous language in the world?
"Yes. I am indeed that Living Legend, Ha Ildo."
"Ooh…! What an honor to meet such a famous awakener. I watched TV Animal Farm too! This one here is Keongkeongi, right? And this is the golden honey ant Angangi! And this is Kwangkwangi! And this one is… that Kalinoi?"
The companion beasts I lived with seemed to already be famous.
Weren't they more famous than me?
"This Oinoi is the ditch water nymph Oinoi…! Pleased to make your acquaintance…!"
"Nymphs…."
Nymphs were apparently still an unfamiliar sight in China.
Soon a crowd gathered to gawk at them, murmuring things like "Hao," and "Hao hao."
Hao.
That would mean "good," I supposed.
Except that Illinoi got angry.
"Why is everyone looking at this Illinoi like that…? Something about those gazes displeases me…!"
Trembling, fists clenched tight.
Then Illinoi lunged at the people around her.
"The power of the American citizenship Illinoi possesses…! The rallying cry of America…! Let me show you Pax Americana…! Nymph Secret Technique: Random Beating…! Let's do it…!"
Rat-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-.
"Whoa, hey—! Stop that! Why are you hitting people?!"
I panicked, because ten years ago China had been violently strict and shown no mercy to foreigners.
But contrary to my fears, the Shanghai awakeners watching Illinoi's flurry of punches were utterly amazed.
"Hao…!"
"Behold the wondrous subtlety contained within those fists…!"
"What a magnificent technique! She's striking people left and right like that, yet not a single wound appears…!"
"…I, Zhang San, can discern the truth! That girl is in fact an ancient master who has returned to youth!"
What on earth was going on here?
While I stood flustered, the dumpling-bun receptionist in the red cheongsam explained for me.
"Truly magnificent fists. In the jianghu, the fist is law and principle itself. It is a maxim recorded in the Records of the Grand Historian, the proud chronicle of our jianghu's China."
Oh, I see.
Ever since the Fifth Industrial era, when awakeners came to rule by the logic of power, China had apparently become quite a romantic, chivalrous world indeed.
Anyway.
I booked a hotel so I could participate in the martial tournament being held in Shanghai.
Seo Yerim, who had come with me, was an S-Rank awakener and apparently had all sorts of special procedures to complete, so it would take her some time.
I headed to a nearby place called the Fairy Inn.
I'd heard it was a restaurant where pets were allowed too.
It was a gorgeously constructed Eastern-style building, and 21st-century China was full of structures built in this fashion.
The women mostly wore cheongsams with healthy-looking legs peeking out at the sides, while the men all strolled about in straw hats with swords tucked at their waists.
"This Oinoi doesn't quite know why, but she likes this second floor…! Sitting up here, she can see all the scenery of the first floor at a glance…!"
"There is no jajangmyeon…? A Chinese restaurant without jajangmyeon…! What nymph-phobic treatment is this…! Illinoi will sue for the crime of nymph deception…! Call a lawyer at once…!"
Illinoi loved jajangmyeon.
Back when she was staying at our house, I'd ordered it for her along with sweet and sour pork, and she'd loved it so much she claimed she could eat it every day without ever growing tired of it.
Clangor and clamor-.
The nymphs were raising all manner of commotion.
Then someone shouted.
"Look at that man!"
"Isn't he carrying the most amazing animals?"
"Isn't that the famous one? The celebrity! He's been on TV shows taming animals and all that!"
Oh, for crying out loud.
I had hoped to quietly enjoy my meal, and already there were people who recognized me.
I'd heard TV Animal Farm was a popular program in China, but apparently Episode 1004 had well and truly elevated me into the ranks of the Hallyu stars.
Slide.
I rose from my seat and pulled a signing pen out of my pocket.
I always carried one around so I could sign for people one by one.
"I am indeed that Living Legend, Ha Ild—."
Whoosh-.
The crowd swept right past me and stampeded toward the restaurant entrance.
"…do…?"
Wondering what on earth was happening, I turned to look — and a man was striding into the restaurant. He wore a black Chinese-style suit, his face was flushed red, and there were scraped scars here and there on his body.
"That's him — Lao of the Beast Palace!"
"So cool! Please sign my autograph!"
"The comet our great continent birthed! I love you!"
The strangest thing about this newly arrived man was that he traveled with a cat, a panda, and a red mantis.
The cat was one thing, but even I had never seen anyone walking around with a panda and a praying mantis. Just as I was marveling at this, the honey ant Angangi perched on my shoulder reacted.
━Zzji…!
Oh ho-.
So it was no ordinary mantis, then?
Soon the man glanced around the room before bellowing out boldly.
"Where is Ha Ildo of the Dog-Squirrels? I know full well that meeting fellow participants before the tournament begins is improper conduct, but I cannot bear it any longer! Let us test who is the stronger tamer!"