The Hero Has No Money
"──This plan was a total failure☆"
The girl giggled, poking at the corners of her mouth with her sleeve. Was it really? They had dug tunnels using the white ants, infiltrated the mine that way, and even created a portal underground. How much time had they poured into it...? They'd put every alchemist and technician down there to good use, and the black pudding they'd tossed in like a kidnapping from the Magic Palace had been released smoothly into the depths of the mine. True to her epithet of "covert assassin," she'd been sure it'd hunt down at least 200 people. But with casualties barely scraping 40, it was a failure—a massive, utter failure.
The girl laughed merrily, her eyes gleaming with twisted delight as she recounted how even the duo that slew the black pudding had slipped right out from under her nose.
"Can you believe it? They just vanished into thin air right in front of me? And those eyes—what about them? She looks like a cute little girl, but with one leaf stuck on her~ Really. I hate kids that sharp."
Her eyes sparkling with malice, the girl pondered how to catch and kill them. Soon, she hurled the bag she'd fished out of the lava into the crowd.
"This is only the second time I've seen a human still walking around. Mind if I take the honors?"
"Do whatever. Even if it fails, what's the harm? They might recognize your face and trace it back, but we can always ditch you if needed."
"Hmm, still a waste. How about we make it spectacular—have her carry the plague and self-destruct right in the city center?"
"If it's gonna blow, let's pile on curses with the plague!"
Far from anger at their talk of using and discarding her, the girl agreed enthusiastically, her expression turning relaxed as she rolled onto the sofa.
"A human, you say. What do you think?"
The massive figure cloaked in a robe asked politely of the one seated in the chair. Well, humans were rare—beyond rare, to the point they never emerged from their kingdoms.
"Indeed. It's been about ten years since we last heard of a human sighting."
The man clicked away at the cubic puzzle on the table. The girl snickered that he was a dimwit who hadn't solved it in over ten years, while the robed giant silently poured him some milk.
"The duo probably had no intention of fighting. They were just F-rankers on a mining commission."
One had dropped from C-rank to F-rank. Considering a dwarf's fiery temper... the woman must've fallen for the guy and matched his rank.
"The guy's righteous and kind. Those blessed by the gods usually are."
So he'd shouted for everyone to evacuate, then fled like the rest. But black puddings chase mana, zeroing in on the human with the strongest presence to hunt.
"They had a way to win. Since they didn't come out of the mine but returned to the city, it must've been some teleport skill."
In other words, the girl saw no chance of victory. Or they'd pushed too far and hit their limit. One or the other... or maybe both.
"The bag's material is pretty special—looks ordinary but indestructible. Like a holy relic blessed by a god."
The man spun the unsolved puzzle like a top. The cube whirled deftly atop the glass cup before clattering down.
"A human clutching an unbreakable bag that dropped from the sky into the city."
Getting swept into incidents as if it were natural, standing at fate's center. Forever tilted toward victory on fate's scales. Beloved by the gods, a symbol of justice defying great evils.
"Looks like the hero's shown up."
The man smiled. Thrilled at human news after ten years—and it might just be the hero he'd half-doubted existed. He snapped his fingers with a pop, and the bag crumpled with a crunch.
"Next time we meet, introduce yourself properly. People forget faces quick."
"Got it☆"
The man smiled, vitality sparking in his eyes, life blooming on his skin. He wanted to rush out and meet them now, but everything had its proper course. Leaning back leisurely, he hummed a tune, lost in imagination.
"If I were you, I'd rather kill myself than catch that guy's attention."
And the girl pitied the human from the bottom of her heart. Should've just stabbed them dead then. Blaming her own blunder, she rolled on the sofa again.
".....Ow...."
"Sorry..."
A dwarf's weight matched her height. In other words, 140kg Larirure Larirarion was heavy.
Even fighting the black pudding or caught in Deadly Queen's blast, she'd never whimpered. Her valor was pure general material. But when I knelt, saying I couldn't lift her weight, she wailed like a three-year-old robbed of chocolate.
"There, there, cut it out. I'll give you something good for your body. With the constellations' blessing, my flesh has become an elixir."
"Huh?"
"So test if my blood works as medicine."
Hurt worse by Larirure than the black pudding, but she'd bought plenty of potions in a fuss, so we decided to try. I sliced my palm with a knife—without Clear Mind, it'd take guts. The red blood filling the vial was thick like syrup, wafting a seductive sweet aroma. Mana residue from the blood was even visible at the vial's mouth.
"Amazing. Visible mana means this elixir's effects are guaranteed."
"I prepared an antidote just in case, so drink up."
"....Shouldn't you drink it, Radamu?"
"No effect on me since it's from my body."
She looked baffled at the principle. Me too. How'd the constellations turn me into an elixir human? She pondered with the vial, then froze mid-sip.
"....Wait, if I drink this and get stronger, won't it make things harder for you?"
She was already plotting kids like crazy. Get stronger, and entry would be even tougher. Larirure shoved the vial away, rejecting it fiercely.
"Not drinking!"
"I'll train too— we're a party, we both get stronger! Drink!!"
"No! I don't wanna get strong!! I wanna marry, have twelve kids, live in a big family!!"
"Your family plan's ambitious!! Drink! Open wide, sis!"
"No no no! Hate potions!!"
She flopped flat, thrashing like a tantrum. Pounding feet and fists in protest: no way! I swigged the elixir myself, but... nothing. Truly tragic.
"Goal of toppling the Maou feels farther every day..."
"We can pass it to the kids."
"Yay yay.... Here's some vodka."
I pretended to give up, and she sprang up, chuckling like should've quit sooner, kiddo, shoulders shaking. Rewarding her yesterday's efforts with iced vodka, she gulped it gratefully.
"Thanks──PUHUUU!! *cough cough*..!"
Then clutched her throat, rolling: tricked by Radamu!
"Mucous spirit extract mixed with instant oil... Builds body by enduring deadly poison... something like that skill."
"Read the label first...!! Gah...! But a man's love for his girl, right?"
She shook it off quick—dwarven toughness—and flipped it: all 'cause you love me, yeah? Buzzing with excitement.
"Love that positive vibe."
"But it just hurt, no clue if it worked."
Elixirs need repeated doses. Two effects mixed—one needed applying. What happens if drunk...? She took the antidote anyway.
"Sigh... So what now? Mine's sealed off."
The underground alchemists went missing, throwing the alchemist guild into chaos. Adventurers rushed investigations, but our mystery girl vanished. We sketched a montage, but minus long sleeves, no standout features came to mind. Too chaotic.
"Would've been easier with Po'runga..."
As she sighed, yeah—Po'runga would've flame-breathed the black pudding to bits. White ants? Larirure's shovel swings would've wiped 'em. No mess like this.
"All money-making plans derailed. What now?"
"I'll feed you even if we go broke."
"Keep saying that, bad for sis's heart..."
Ears red, head down. Sell the building, grab a dorm or room. Her fault for renting this fancy place unannounced to impress.
'Not enough for Memorize Spellbook pages either...'
Food stall life ahead? No other cash ideas?
Mountain mountain mountain♬
Hero Who Surpassed Trials, congratulations!
We'll bless your children too, so hang in there. Reviving your race is hero work!
Even the Goddess of Fate can't interfere too much... Best she can do is drop lightning.
'That enough..?'
Gods watch mortals live, granting occasional blessings, trials they can overcome.
Hope the constellations help you overcome your trials.
Acquired 1 Constellation Ticket.
Acquired 1 Skill Rank-Up from accumulated karma.
"Skill Rank-Up..?"
Unlike usual, two tickets. I checked the Skill Rank-Up ticket. It strengthens one constellation-given skill via my karma.
.....Problem: no indication which skill upgrades. Identical tickets meant random, too.
'Trusting you, constellations...'
Super tough lately. Please, something good this time..! Praying, I tore the ticket.
Constellation Bi■l■
Gifting you one ability.
Time Stop
(Freeze time as desired. But age externally by frozen duration)
"Cheat skill acquired!!"
I pumped my fist, cheering. Aging? Meaningless with 7,000+ years lifespan. 100 years older? No diff—pure gain!
Curse of Longevity FTW!
"Skills, skills, skill window~"
Time Stop [Cannot Cast]
- Class Magic Spell
- Enter a stopped world.
- Caster's time flows normally.
- Requires sub-skill; unusable.
'Solid..!'
Average good! Ignoring the Memorize Spellbook need!
......Huh? Closer look sparked doubt. Says "freeze" on cast... "as desired" means I "set time," or recast to end?
'If latter, two spellbook pages..'
Tears streamed at the cash black hole. But time stop's utility... Had to invest, tears or not.
'...Good skill hits different.'
Thinking that, I tore the Skill Rank-Up ticket. Hoping decent, I eyed the dazzling light over my palm.
Forest LV.2
- You are a great forest.
- Exerts various beneficial great forest effects.
- You are the forest.
God died today. Or maybe on isekai transfer day one.