The Hilarious Revolt of the Weakest Monster: Slime
The weakest monster in fantasy, the slime—it's so often portrayed that way. In the novels I read, slimes were just fodder mobs. Sure, there are stories with slimes as protagonists, but none of them accelerate like a supercar, slamming into you at top speed without even hitting zero-to-hundred, leaving traces like they'd digested and melted whatever they touched.
Larirure was sprinting at full throttle. Her breathing was ragged, but there was no hint of fear or panic in her. She was plotting an escape upward, taking the highest route possible. She'd been in this mine before, so she was probably following a familiar path.
Desperate shouts echoed from adventurers and miners all around. The clanging of bells reverberated through the tunnels, guiding people to evacuate along the passages. Sure enough, the adventurers and miners were fleeing the mine with practiced efficiency.
Could we blend into that crowd and slip out? The real problem was that our pursuer made no sound at all. Was it falling behind? Closing in? Or casually toying with us right on our heels? Impossible to tell.
"No mine carts?"
We burst into a station where mine tracks appeared, tools scattered everywhere from workers and miners who'd fled in haste. The carts were gone—probably all loaded up and evacuated already. There might be spares inside the buildings or around back.
"Following these tracks should get us out the shortest way!"
"Why's a slime even in a place like this?!"
"Damn it, some kinda anomaly. Monsters leaving their habitats—hasn't happened since the Maou's era, right?"
Larirure smashed the doorknob with her shovel and charged in. She and I frantically searched for an extra cart, but found none. With nothing to show for it, she grabbed some bombs in a do-or-die move.
"Dynamite?"
"If we have to, we'll collapse the bridge."
She stuffed the dynamite in her bag, hoisted me onto her shoulder. It looked pathetic, like a kid being carried, but I was on lookout duty for the rear. We bolted down the tracks at full speed again. No time for breaks—escape was priority one.
Pitch-black darkness, nothing visible. We raced along ancient tracks bolted to cliffs and bedrock. Her footsteps made the structure tremble faintly, but thankfully it held.
Was it not chasing us? At that speed it'd shown earlier, it should've caught us ages ago. My guess... maybe it was blind, lacking [eyes]? It'd targeted that adventurer running beside me, not me directly.
"Slimes can't see?"
"Blind sight's a thing—trickier than regular vision!"
From vibrations to life signs, even mana. She'd cursed that eye-dependent foes would be easier to evade. "That color means it's a 【Black Pudding】. Mid-to-upper tier among slimes, but top danger level—you'll see why."
"Yeah, I get it."
"Fire's its weakness. Can't put out flames on its body, so it dies. Land one hit, and we win."
"If fire's the weakness, why couldn't the adventurers take it down?"
"Anyone can say it—doesn't make it easy!"
She hooked her shovel on her belt and drew a sawed-off shotgun from her gun belt—barrel and stock shortened. Different from what I'd seen at the weapon shop.
"Shotgun. Seen one?"
"Yeah."
"Adventurers prep for everything. Even I got ways for physical-resistant foes."
She gripped the gun, felt four shells in her belt pouch by touch, and frowned. Just for repelling or buying time—adventurers don't fight fair odds, she said. Slimes die instantly to weaknesses, but that's why they're rated ogre-level threats.
"Slimes turn devoured people into more slimes. It swallows everything, but overeats and splits naturally."
A Black Pudding breeding near the city? Even with a weakness, that speed reaching the surface would cause massive casualties. And it could move underground, not just on land.
"Slimes usually wait for prey. This mobility? Total anomaly."
"Portals before, now this—who's behind it?"
"Messing with the forest nearest Trust Union? They're dead set on chaos."
How long had we run those tracks? She collapsed on an open section midway up an incline. Stalactites overhead, bottomless darkness below. Tunnels branched left and right—we'd rest here.
Larirure gulped water I handed her, then chugged a whole bottle of booze.
"Not chasing?"
"Slimes sense vibrations keenly. Or strong mana."
So it wouldn't chase mana-less her or me. But no guarantee it was alone, so we stayed alert.
"This mine connect to Trust Union?"
"Yeah, unfortunately. Remember the receptionist taking our ore? Cargo tracks for that."
"...So if someone's unleashed monsters here, the city's the target?"
"Damn Union guilds doing nothing? How long's this been going?"
Not like adventurers slacked—White Ants before, but they hustled quests. Crowds were at the mine when I arrived, so this was recent.
Meaning long prep time... or someone/group able to trigger it now?
Trust Union: massive trade hub of allied kingdoms, like the heart pumping blood (adventurers) to supply allied realms.
Collapse it, and kingdoms suffer fatally.
Goddess wanted me in the academy, building foundations slowly.
White Ant swarms or 【Black Pudding】 feasting miners? Manageable for adventurers—not her crisis. She'd have pushed adventuring from the start. Libraries and guilds aplenty for study, plus her startup funds.
True danger's elsewhere.
Individual or group?
Map check: Chronicle Continent center had Pansinjeon. Below, Trust Union. Above, independent kingdoms, then Great Forest (elves), then Maou Territory.
Distance meant long prep or teleport.
"Teleport over long distances?"
"With coordinates, maybe—but grand mages would detect."
She asked if I assumed culprits existed. I nodded; she called them bizarre, not just strong.
"Pushing Magic Palace monsters through portals? Our logic won't apply."
Good to speculate, but don't limit thinking—minimal info, she advised. Calling Po'runga made sense; guilds handle this level.
"Few mages, problem solved."
"Fire weakness confirms—"
[Jin-eon · Mantra] skill has been activated.
───Receiving the thought: [Eats].
I whipped my head toward the voice. Empty darkness met my eyes. Faster than I could point, Larirure yanked me down. Instantly, the track silently eroded—like a film splice, bridge gone without process.
Chills exploded; we plummeted.
"I see it! Can you hit?!"
"Landing?!"
"Trust your big sis!"
Reassuring. She scooped my waist princess-style. Behind her, the 【Black Pudding】 falling with us. Why me? She'd pulled toward herself before we jumped—dual target would've killed us.
───No way. Was my elixir body drawing it?! Constellations sold me out!
"Page 2! [Fireball]!"
Boom—fireball lit the dark. Pudding sprouted tentacles, wrapping ground and bridge for a slingshot leap.
"What?!"
It dodged nimbly, body elongating back. A support leg buckled centerward. Rock eroded; it released tentacles, catapulting like a slingshot.
Monster smarts?!
"[Deadly Queen]!"
Her shovel exploded—bang. Primary blast veered it; secondary boom spun us midair.
"Tch, manageable!"
Clothes scorched, undies exposed—but cheap for survival, she yelled. One arm hugging me, she drew sawn-off shotgun amid spin, aimed.
"Die, you jelly bastard!"
"Page 3! [Fireball]!"
Dual flames launched. Gravity-pulled Pudding flattened wide, airlifting it upward into dark. Fireballs and shot whiffed futilely.
"That move...!"
"Slime god possessed it?!"
Curses synced as she blasted incoming tentacles. Boom—flames raced its body, but it severed burning parts.
"Reload!"
I grabbed shells from her belt, fed into ejecting chamber amid spent casings. She spun it one-handed, aiming again. Tense standoff in freefall—who blinks?
Pudding dangled a tentacle mockingly; she glared down barrel. My magic pages: two left.
"Ugh...!"
Heat whooshed—I thought ground far, but black smoke engulfed us. Her troubled face pulled trigger—fireball trailed into dark, missing as a dot.
[Jin-eon · Mantra] skill has been activated.
───Receiving the thought: [Eats].
Toward voice, I hurled Metal Mimic—Deadly Queen's primary blast collided. Snap—Pudding's tentacle bent back. Go, Metal Mimic (chamber pot)!
"Lava zone! Stay sharp!"
Lava too?! She handed shotgun, swung shovel wide. Air slash shockwave launched her up, landing.
"Grip tight! Debris floats 'cause it doesn't melt in lava!"
Pudding thudded opposite. Mimic plopped in—sizzle-melt. I gulped. Larirure gripped shovel defiantly.
"Can't die before sex with my hot boyfriend!!"
"Watch your mouth!!"
Shovel out, [Earth Shatter]. She scooped lava, hurled magma bolts. Debris rocked. Pudding split dodging, leaping sides. We pursued separately.
One plopped in; other frisbee-disc'd at me. I two-handed shotgun—recoil shook. It split dodging shot, used body as launchpad, rocketing.
"Dodge this."
Posture wrecked, exposed. Case boomed, propelling forward. Deadly Queen touch-trail ejects bag; rotational secondary blast.
"Duck!"
Shovel countered blast wake. Dynamite in bag erupted gorgeously, engulfing Pudding.
"...Got it?"
I eyed lava-proof bag sinking—no retrieval. Spotted Pudding sinking, sighed relief.
"Nearly returned to Goddess a virgin, whew..."
Sweat-drenched (lava heat?), she wiped arm, exhaled. I gazed wistfully at drifting bag.
"Move. Alchemists/mages use lava too."
Consolation for lost gear—we trudged debris. Smooth iron structure greeted. Stairs up: heat-blocked, comfy interior.
"Worlds apart from above?"
"Lava mining—better facilities."
Evacuated? Empty. Latest elevator here, she promised. Slime byproduct miss, but slimes drop nothing anyway—hated widely.
Button pressed, waiting. Distant corner: kid peeked.
"P-people... help! Waaah, slime came suddenly!"
Crying, sleeve-covered girl approached. Larirure hesitated—came from here?—but I grabbed shoulder.
"Kid, with parents?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Then that spiderweb and leaf on your sleeve—from where?"
"On the way here—"
Larirure raised shovel quietly. No spiders/trees en route—plains to forest. Slime hit? Facility ruined.
"──Sharp eyes?"
Ding—elevator. Door opened: ominous portal glowing.
Cold sweat trickled—I gambled, yelled:
"Hug me, quick!"
No words, frog-leap cling. Her 140kg crushed knees. Groan... this weight...? Too heavy! Her face beet-red, tears (hidden from Pudding).
──Party leader me, building co-owned. Gamble—
Considered during chase, but odds of winning fight, and [Return] solo would've ditched her. Girl reeked unnatural—chills from her approach.
"Whatcha doing?"
She sensed oddity, drew knife from sleeve, lunged—but
"[Return]!"
Flash—we crashed onto base level-1 round table. Dwarf-crushed, I wheezed, blacked out as consciousness faded.