The Dwarf Who Shattered Her Badge for a Party Spot
Who was it that said a party's first companion has to be a girl? I immediately recalled one skill in my mind.
—That temptation is swift as a swallow.
You make women want to flirt first!
Was it because of this skill? Even so, wasn't she coming on way too strong?
I firmly rejected the dwarf girl looking up at me, waiting for an answer.
"Sorry."
"Hm. Do you have any standards for a bride, at least?"
She started asking more seriously than I'd expected. Bride? I wasn't all that interested in women to begin with. For now, since she was interrupting business, I suggested we talk outside.
"If things get dicey, just yell for help. Harming a human is illegal, you know."
I nodded at the kind weapons shop owner's advice. No sooner had I stepped out than the dwarf girl came trotting after me, clack-clack-clack.
We ducked into a nearby café and sat facing each other.
......Huh? Couldn't I just keep refusing and leave it at that?
But I wasn't the type to be callous about it. When someone approached me this earnestly, I had to respond in kind. Now that she'd opened up so sincerely, I was starting to get curious about her reasons.
Well, since we're here, might as well grab a bite and head to the library after, I thought, scanning the menu.
Come to think of it, this is my first café in a fantasy world...?
'Zero Cola? Huh. Is it okay to be this trendy?'
Cakes, donuts... all the usual suspects. And then species-specific options: bugs fried for Deinous, stuff you shouldn't eat...
You're telling me people actually order that?
"Waiter, one bottle of vodka."
"Heading out on a quest?"
"It's a marriage meeting."
"...? Uh, I'll have the nut-tangerine-avocado salad... and apple-lemon-mint juice."
"You a vegan?"
Getting called a vegan by a magic-girl dwarf ordering vodka—what was I supposed to make of that? My totally ordinary order had her muttering that humans eat stuff like this.
I took a breath, watching the food arrive quickly, and sipped my juice.
Oh... tastes totally normal. Nice strong mint.
She poured vodka into an iced glass and savored it like tea.
Why had she suddenly proposed marriage back at the weapons shop? ...
She was objectively a cutie. The kind who could star in a magic-girl tokusatsu show. Though, to be fair, I hadn't seen an unattractive person in this world yet.
"Ahem. I won't deny it's because you're human."
"Is... there a reason it has to be human? What about a dwarf?"
"Beards are a no-go."
Her brutally straightforward reason left me speechless. She openly admitted smooth skin was her type. And on top of being human...
"Humans can bear children blessed by the gods. Plus, you'd acquire the [Skill] for dwarf-human pairings..."
"That's pretty calculating."
"Your face is my type too."
Pffft— I sprayed mint juice all over my face in a spectacular mist.
I could've gotten mad, but the dwarf girl just wiped my face with her handkerchief, unperturbed. Her stiff, expressionless speech didn't call out my blunder; she just continued.
"Hm. As a skilled tradesperson, my income's solid. I've got a house in the Dvberg Kingdom, but if it's too far, I can relocate here. Legally in Trust Union cities, residency's fine, but child-rearing isn't, so somewhere nearby like Cocos would be better."
"We're practically strangers—why are we already talking kids?"
"I came to this union city specifically to find a husband. It's been twelve years since I last found a guy who caught my eye. I don't wanna let him slip away."
This sister was brutally honest. Definitely older than she looked—not a girl at all.
She hated dwarf men's scruffy beards, so she'd walked here over two years. In the meantime, she'd racked up achievements to hit C-rank adventurer and even showed me her certificate.
She handed it over like exchanging business cards; I gave her my F-rank one in return.
F-rank's bottom-tier—please be disappointed, I hoped. But she didn't seem to care.
Her worn certificate shocked me twice: once at 27 years old, then at the name.
"Larirure Larirarion...?"
"You don't know much about dwarves?"
"Sorry, first time seeing one."
"First human for me too, so we're even."
Our names both started with "La," she had twin tails like... well, similar style. It felt like she was showing interest just to get close somehow.
I've never even dated, so how am I supposed to read the room...?
"Speaking of, you reacted weird to my outfit. All female dwarves dress like this."
"Huh? Why?"
"It's the first decree and final will of Park Chun-sik, the human hero who built our cities, taught us tech, and founded the kingdom."
"...That sounds ominous all of a sudden. Can I hear it?"
I steeled myself with Clear Mind and listened.
It was a 400-year-old dwarf tradition passed down generations.
"Dwarf women must be cute and lovely, so wear dresses."
I'm losing it.
The human king who showered dwarves with tech, care, and a kingdom—dwarves wouldn't defy his first decree and dying wish. Fiery-tempered dwarves with flames in their hearts all dressed up without exception ever since.
"So female dwarves hate scruffy guys."
That's why she'd bolted. Dwarves name themselves, like musical notes or something. Since King Park Chun-sik loved songs, they decided on that.
What kind of guy was he? Of the heroes I'd heard about, two were a panty fetishist and a lolicon...?
Anyway, I got how serious she was about marriage. Twelve years hunting a groom—she'd grab any chance.
But marriage wasn't on my mind. Responsibility mattered, so no casual flings either. And honestly, I wasn't that into that stuff.
"If marriage is too much, just give me your seed. I can raise it back home."
"...Men should take responsibility. Isn't that kinda scummy?"
"Even better. I'm desperate, but you took me seriously too, right?"
She blushed faintly, eyes screaming there's potential!
How to turn her down? I drummed the table, eyes flashing.
"I'm planning to take down the Maou. Marriage is out."
"Ho... big ambitions. A real man needs dreams like that. Apply for a party."
No crazy talk—just a grin. She liked it more, thumping her chest: a man needs that ambition. She'd join as a party member, smoothly turning it around.
...Thanks, Po'runga. Senior's wisdom saved me!
"C-ranks can't party with F-ranks. You know that, right?"
"True. Female adventurers hitting C-rank? Either showing off to males how amazing they are, or chasing fame and dreams. It's all appeal. You don't know dwarves."
Larirarion shook her head cutely. To prove her resolve as wife to an Maou-slaying man's ambition...
She dragged me straight to the guild after leaving the café.
Dwarves have uniform height and weight. At 140kg, my struggles meant nothing.
"Receptionist!"
"Oh, Larirarion?"
"Scrap it, please."
She smashed her C-rank certificate right in front of me.
The stunned receptionist spotted me and gasped in realization.
"Found a groom?!"
"Reapplying as F-rank. Now we can party, right?"
"...Yeah..."
Arms crossed, dragged here, I nodded blankly.
Dwarves dive into fire or lava once decided. For her top groom pick, she'd invest effort and time.
Her blazing resolve and raging-bull execution left me speechless.
"...I did push a bit hard. But you politely refused at first and talked seriously—feels like I exploited your kindness. My conscience stings."
"...Thanks for saying that now..."
I scribbled the party form diligently.
Such a sweet, kind heart—sorry for using it, she apologized, buying ice cream and handing it over. Face red as heated iron, she cleared her throat, downing bought vodka in one go.
"...Desperate or not, I could've been kidnapped. Minimum death sentence."
"Dwarves usually act first, regret later."
"Can't help it—I fell at first sight."
Brutally honest. What would Po'runga say? Human's got skills, huh?
No party name in mind, I submitted the form. Who knew how long it'd last.
"Total stats 21... Mine's 590. Big gap."
"Dissolve now?"
"Nah, just worried you'll shatter at night work. You lead if you want, but doubt it. Train up for now..."
I'm losing it for real.
Larirure Larirarion.
