An Indirect Kiss
I let out a long sigh as I stared at Han Yeeun, who was still completely passed out this early in the morning.
This girl really was just a drunkard.
What the hell was good for a hangover again…?
“Ughhh…”
Whoa, that scared me!
Yesterday she’d been drowning in guilt, and now she was crushed under the weight of alcohol. The poor magical girl’s condition was beyond words.
Her hair was a mess, and one of her twintails had lost its ribbon, turning into a sloppy side ponytail. I couldn’t tell if she was dying or coming back to life.
“Oppa… I think I’m really gonna die… This is worse than when I fought that mental-attack villain…”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have drunk so much. Come on, get up. The only thing we have for a hangover is udon. That okay?”
“Nnghhh…”
I couldn’t tell if that drawn-out “nnghhh” meant she hated the idea or if she was agreeing. Probably the former.
Han Yeeun shakily sat up, eyes still squeezed shut. I guess I should give her credit just for managing to sit.
If I had a little sister like her… Well, since she’s someone else’s sister, she’s cute. If she were mine, I’d probably be tearing my hair out.
“Go wash up first. If you stay like that, the smell of liquor won’t come off your mouth or your body.”
“Nnghhh…”
Was she regressing into a toddler instead of just being drunk?
“Just splash some water on your face and brush your teeth to wake up. And leave the door open. I don’t want you having an accident in there.”
“Nnghhh…”
Han Yeeun staggered into the bathroom like a zombie. A loud crash followed shortly after.
Brushing teeth took three minutes. Boiling udon took three minutes. Perfect timing.
Her face still looked half-dead, so I couldn’t tell if she thought the udon was delicious or disgusting. Better not poke her. It’d only make things annoying.
“Um… Yeeun?”
“Nnghhh…”
“Which toothbrush did you use?”
“The… one on the right.”
“……”
That was Seo Eunha’s.
Who in their right mind uses someone else’s toothbrush?! If you didn’t know which one, you should’ve asked me! Or just taken a new one!
Well… if she hadn’t brushed at all, no one would know. Or I could just replace it with a new one. No evidence, no crime.
“What are you doing in there by yourself, acting all suspicious?”
“…!”
I spun around at Seo Eunha’s sudden voice and quickly snatched up her toothbrush.
Her sharp eyes would never miss my guilty expression.
“Give it here.”
“Oh! Uh, I was just about to change it!”
“What are you talking about? I changed it yesterday.”
She easily plucked the toothbrush from my hand, turned it over a few times, then poked the bristles with her finger.
“Why is this wet?”
“Ah, that’s because…”
“Don’t tell me… you used it, Oppa?”
Would it be better to say I used it?
If I said it was me, I’d just get killed once. But if she found out Han Yeeun used it, I had no idea what would happen to this household. This place was already being rented cheap because I basically begged the landlord. I couldn’t afford any incidents!
“Ah, I’m really sorry. I was drunk and out of it…”
“Nnghhh~ I used it~ The right one~ It was my sister-in-law’s~?”
Crack.
The poor toothbrush in Seo Eunha’s grip bent like a bow and snapped cleanly in half.
“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t kill that bitch, Oppa.”
Seo Eunha forced a smile as she pointed the sharp broken end of the toothbrush straight at me.
I… don’t have one?
Wait, what the hell am I thinking?!
“Murder is obviously wrong! There’s no reason needed!”
“So I just shouldn’t kill her?”
“That’s not gonna fly.”
“Ugh! It smells like alcohol!”
She actually sniffed the toothbrush, then grimaced and hurled it into the sink.
“If you don’t kick her out, you’re dead.”
“Thank you so much for your generous mercy, Chaeeun.”
I immediately bowed at the murderous glare that clearly showed how hard she was holding herself back.
“Go buy a new toothbrush. I noticed we were out yesterday.”
“Yes…”
She said she’d make me happy, so when was she going to fix that terrifying side of hers…? Or wait, didn’t she say she’d destroy anything that got in the way of my happiness?
In that case, I guess I can’t complain.
“Is my sister-in-law… really mad…?”
“She’s not your sister-in-law!”
“Nnghhh…”
Okay, got it. I always thought Han Yeeun was the one who lost every fight, but it turns out Seo Eunha was the real winner. Information received.
Despite my desperate damage control, Han Yeeun—completely unaware of how furious she’d made Seo Eunha—went right back to burying her face in the udon bowl. The hungover magical girl was inhaling it so hard I was worried she might suffocate with her nose stuck in the bowl.
In the end, Seo Eunha couldn’t hold back her anger and stormed back into her room.
“Sigh. Alright, let’s head out. We’ll take a walk and sober you up. I’ll buy you ice cream.”
“Chocolate?”
“Strawberry?”
Calling her a high school girl? She was acting like an elementary kid.
The moment we stepped outside—practically chased out—the air was colder than I’d imagined. Probably because it had rained recently.
Good thing I’d put my hoodie on Han Yeeun. She’d almost gone out in that state and frozen solid.
“Haa… I feel alive again. People really should get close to warm nature instead of cold cities, right, Oppa?”
“You look like you’re about to get close to the ground before nature. Try walking straight before you kiss the pavement.”
In my hand was strawberry ice cream—the peace offering meant to calm Seo Eunha’s rage. In Han Yeeun’s hand was a brand-new strawberry toothbrush.
I’d offered to carry both, but she insisted on holding it herself.
“Ah, sorry Oppa, but I need to use the bathroom. I think my magic energy is flowing backward…”
“Go ahead. Just don’t make pizza on the sidewalk.”
“That’s not what it is!”
Han Yeeun dashed off toward the public restroom in the nearby park.
I sat on a bench and prayed the ice cream wouldn’t melt before she came back.
“…She’s not going to fall into the toilet, right?”
I was trying to sober up with the cold morning air, hoping it wouldn’t be anything serious, when—
“Hey, buddy. You alone?”
Before I could even turn my head, a cloth reeking of chemicals covered my mouth and nose.
I tried to lean forward and resist, but it was useless. My body suddenly felt impossibly heavy, and I collapsed onto the bench.
When I opened my eyes, I was in what was clearly a suspicious-looking warehouse.
My hands and feet were bound tightly with cable ties. In front of me stood a man in a rough leather jacket, smoking a cigarette while looking down at me. Dozens of other men surrounded us.
“Took you all day to wake up, big guy. I was starting to think you might be dead.”
The man ground his heel hard into my thigh.
“Ugh…”
“You’re the guy always hanging around that Magical Keraunos, right? Consider yourself lucky. Normally I’d have started by cutting off a few fingers on the street.”
“Who the hell are you…!”
“Oh, we owe a little debt to that magical girl squatting in your house. Do you have any idea how many times our hideout got blown up because of that bitch?”
Keraunos? Keraunos? What?
“Who are you talking about? I really don’t have any connection to magical girls. Four years ago, my whole family was massacred by one, and—”
Wham!!
“Cough!”
The man slammed his fist into my stomach. The chair and I tumbled backward together.
Wham! Thud!
As I rolled across the floor like a human punching bag, the man’s gravelly voice continued from above. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.
“No connection? You’re saying you didn’t know she was a magical girl?”
He stomped on my head with his shoe, putting more weight on it.
“We saw her going in and out of your place. You think that lame excuse is gonna work? Don’t even try saying it was a misunderstanding. We watched you let her into your house more than three times just to be sure we had the right place.”
Wow, what diligent and admirable villain gentlemen you are.
It would’ve been so much better if you’d used that diligence to contribute to society instead.
“Ugh…!”
“You two seemed pretty cozy. Already slept together? And you really didn’t even know her name? That bitch’s codename is Magical Keraunos, you idiot. That lightning witch has killed dozens of our comrades!”
Wham!!
The man got so angry while talking that he kicked me again, spitting curses the whole time.
They were the ones who screwed up and got what they deserved. Why take it out on me…?
“Hah, got a little too worked up there. Too bad. I don’t have anything against you personally. Still, if we just kill that girl, we’ll let you go. So hang in there, yeah? You don’t want to die for some slut who throws her body at anyone, right? Or maybe you two have been sharing more than just a bed and caught feelings—”
Thud!
This time it wasn’t the sound of the man’s kick.
It was the sound of me throwing my body into him.
“Take that back.”
“You son of a—!”
“She’s not someone trash like you gets to talk about like that!!”
“I was even gonna let you go nicely, you bastard!”
“Cough!! Urp…! Uuugh!!”
My stomach was already messed up from drinking yesterday, and his kick flipped it completely. I ended up vomiting pathetically.
I’d teased Han Yeeun about making pizza, but here I was, the one throwing up like an idiot…
The man fished my phone out of my pocket and dialed. The ringtone echoed.
Ding, ding-ding-ding-ding~♪
The video call connected, and Han Yeeun’s panicked face appeared on the screen.
“Oppa! Where are you? I came back from the bathroom and you were gone, and I was mad about the toothbrush—wait, what happened to your face?!”
“Hello there, Magical Keraunos. If you want to save your precious owner, get over to the coordinates I’m sending right now. If we see any sign of the Management Bureau, get ready to find this bastard’s head at the recycling center.”
“Hey!! Who the hell are you?! If you touch my Oppa—!”
Click.
Han Yeeun had shouted in pure rage, but the man just smirked and waved at the phone before hanging up.
“Alright. Preparations to catch that bitch are complete. Everyone back to your positions.”
The villains chuckled among themselves as they started checking their weapons.
I carefully twisted my bound wrists, but the cable ties only dug deeper into my skin. Damn it. I should’ve watched that shorts video on how to break cable ties more carefully. I’d brushed it off thinking I’d never need it.
That video had over ten thousand likes on the comment “If you watch this hard and still forget it when you need it, like this post lol.”
‘Yeeun… please don’t come…’
Han Yeeun was still hungover and exhausted from overworking the day before. There was no way she could fight properly while I was being held hostage.
That was when it happened.
Rumble…!!!
The sound of massive thunder cracked across the bright daytime sky, and the outside grew even brighter despite the sun.
“She’s here! Get rea—!”
But before the man on the container could finish, a yellow light flashed.
The man who had been standing there was gone. In his place, Han Yeeun stood looking down at me.
“Urp…!”
…It was Han Yeeun, absolutely reeking of hangover.