Drunken Confession
The world’s tiniest girl, wearing the world’s brightest smile, delivered the world’s most pissed-off line.
I shot Seo Eunha a pleading look, but she was the one who’d dropped me in this mess to begin with. Of course she wasn’t going to help. She simply lay sprawled on the sofa, refusing to even glance my way.
“It’s really nothing. She’s just sulking for no reason. I only took in one magical girl for a little while.”
“Am I not tragic-heroine material?”
I unconsciously let my gaze drift down Han Yeeun’s body. She really was noticeably lacking compared to Sia… yeah, I suppose so.
“Oppa, you just had a dirty thought, didn’t you?”
“No?”
So the rumor was true—women really do notice when someone looks at their chest. But I thought that only applied to people with a lot to look at.
Han Yeeun’s eyes narrowed into slits, exactly like a kitten raising its hackles. Her voice came out in a near-hiss.
“No, Yeeun. She really was just an acquaintance. The girl was getting beaten and gaslit by her boyfriend. I saw her crying in the rain and took her in for a bit, that’s all.”
“R-really?”
The genuinely heartbreaking story made Han Yeeun’s bristled fur settle instantly. She blushed, embarrassed, and scratched her chin.
“You’re too nice for your own good, Oppa. Telling even a magical girl to wash up at home? Still, thank goodness it was a magical girl. What if it had been one of those damn villains? All villains are trash anyway, right?”
Twitch.
Seo Eunha’s shoulders gave the faintest tremble. Her face stayed in that trademark indifferent mask, but after a few weeks of living together I could read her clearly.
She was furious.
“Back then I should’ve blown that villain bastard’s head off instead of his shoulder—”
“Should we drink? That stuff you brought is going to get warm, isn’t it?”
She twitched an eyebrow at me for cutting her off, but thankfully didn’t seem too bothered. No reason to drag dark stories into someone else’s house.
And above all…
“Kyaha~”
She was a drinker, after all.
“Oppa, what was your cousin’s name again?”
“Song Chaeeun.”
“Hehe, Chaeeun. You can’t seduce Yujin Oppa just because we’re cousins, okay? In our country it’s illegal even between cousins~?”
She was wasted.
My dinner table had become a battlefield of grilled tripe and fried chicken instead of actual dinner, paired with enough alcohol to make me wonder if we’d ordered too little food. Imported liquor, too.
“Yeeun, can you really handle all this?”
“Yep! Scared?”
“Did I never tell you how I beat the bar owner in a drinking contest while I was working part-time?”
“What, did you get drunk after one glass?”
Oh?
“One glass? Ha, the owner still hides the liquor bottles the second he sees me.”
I laughed, pushed the mountain of beer aside, and cracked open the hard liquor.
I might not have parents, but I still have pride.
Han Yeeun snatched the bottle from my hand and poured it straight into our half-empty beer glasses until they nearly overflowed.
“That little kid can’t satisfy you anyway, right? I’m the only one who can drink with you, aren’t I?”
With a triumphant grin she shoved the freshly made bomb drink at me.
The sharp sting of liquor pierced my nose over the beer. Downing straight liquor without warming up my palate first felt a little reckless, but I figured I could at least outdrink this tiny girl.
“Chaeeun would be upset if she heard that. She eats so much she steals all my snacks. I have to order two portions every time.”
“Hmm, so drinking with me saves money?”
The liquor costs more than the food, so how exactly is it saving money…?
Surprisingly, Han Yeeun kept knocking them back without any sign of struggle. I’d thought she was fine after three cans of beer last time because it was just beer, but apparently she really was a heavy drinker.
“You’re not secretly transformed into a magical girl right now, are you?”
“Pwahaha! Magical girls don’t get bonus alcohol decomposition skills!”
“How would you know that?”
“Puhaha~”
She never answered my question. Instead she laughed and popped a piece of chicken into my mouth.
“Just drink instead of talking so much~”
I lost count of how many glasses of liquor disappeared down her throat at terrifying speed. I genuinely wondered where that tiny body was storing all that liquid. The mysteries of the human body, indeed. Who knew I’d get a front-row mukbang right at my own table.
“Paha… Oppa, where do you keep picking people up from? You picked up a cousin, you picked up a magical girl. You even picked up a rookie magical girl before, and she can cook too?”
Han Yeeun puffed out her soft cheeks, her face adorably flushed from the alcohol as she looked up at me. Her fingers toyed with the buttons of my shirt while she muttered in a low voice.
“It feels upsetting, like a secret restaurant only I knew about suddenly getting famous. They’re all coming after seeing the broadcast anyway, right? They won’t show up once the popularity dies.”
“They didn’t come because of a broadcast, I picked them up, and they don’t visit often anyway, so it’s fine.”
“That’s exactly what’s not fine.”
It wasn’t her usual bright, teasing tone. This voice was damp, heavy with real emotion. She rubbed her head against my shoulder and let out a long sigh. I just gave an awkward smile and stroked her hair.
“You smell like alcohol.”
I flinched. I’d already downed nearly three glasses of the liquor-beer mix myself, so I was fairly buzzed. The mood had me in its grip, and I couldn’t help feeling secretly pleased that Han Yeeun was being so aggressively affectionate.
In that atmosphere I completely forgot about Seo Eunha.
“I-I’m going in first.”
Seo Eunha glanced at me, then immediately turned away like the sight displeased her. It wasn’t exactly anger in her eyes… more like irritation.
“Do it in moderation or don’t do it at all. If you’re going to, get a room outside.”
The moment she confirmed Eunha had gone into her room, Han Yeeun, face still buried against my shoulder, mumbled.
“You’re too nice for your own good, Oppa. You didn’t treat those other two magical girls the same way, did you? They’ll get the wrong idea.”
“It’s not that I’m nice. I just gave them a place to rest.”
“That’s what being affectionate is, you idiot…”
She was definitely drunk.
“Well, that’s what I like about it! It must be burdensome for you too, Oppa.”
“Not at all. After living alone for almost four years, it’s wonderful having people come over like this.”
“It’s not because my chest is lacking, right?”
“What are you even talking about?”
Was she still hung up on that from earlier?
“You looked at my chest and thought it was lacking. With a cousin like that around, of course mine would look small.”
“No, I only looked down because of the height difference. And size isn’t what matters, is it?”
“It does matter. Didn’t you see the pictures I sent? My chest gets bigger.”
“Your real form is flat, so even if the transformed version gets bigger…”
Oh no.
Han Yeeun stared at me with the face of someone who had sobered up in an instant from sheer shock. The exact expression of a rabbit whose food had just been stolen. The look that said, How could you do this to me?
“This won’t do. I’ll transform right here and now. Not in these loose clothes—something tighter…!”
“Okay, okay, calm down. I’m sorry.”
I pressed her shoulders down as she tried to leap up and forced her back into her seat.
“Uwaang~ When you told me to wash up and go, I thought, ‘Is this some perverted civilian? Did I get involved with the wrong person~?’ But you seemed so pure that I thought I was special. Turns out you’re just the magical girls’ ‘public property’~”
What the hell kind of nonsense was that?
“Watch your wording.”
“Uhi… It’s not true, right?”
“No.”
“I can believe you, right?”
“Yes.”
I wasn’t entirely sure what was or wasn’t true, or what she wanted permission to believe, but she was drunk. If I just played along, she’d probably forget on her own.
“Then I can sleep over, right?”
“Yes. Yes?”
“Okay. I’ll use a new toothbrush. You do have a spare, don’t you?”
Without waiting for an answer, Han Yeeun headed straight for Seo Eunha’s room.
“Sister-in-law~ Big sis is coming in~”
The door slammed shut with a bang, immediately followed by Seo Eunha’s sharp scream from inside. “Are you insane! I really fucking hate magical girls!!”
Sia had been quiet and Kim Hayoung was obedient, but I wasn’t sure that one wouldn’t end in an actual fight someday.
“Hueeng… My sister-in-law is too sharp…”
In the end Han Yeeun came back out sniffling. She looked exactly like a puppy that had gotten scolded after acting cute toward a cat.
“Puha… But Oppa, are you really going to keep using formal speech with me?”
Han Yeeun lay sprawled on the floor, looking up at me. Her soft belly was completely exposed, yet she didn’t seem embarrassed enough to cover it.
“Ah, that’s because I’m a little scared of getting close to people.”
“Hmm?”
“That thing I told you about on the phone before. The magical girl I met at the convenience store. After what happened, I’m scared she’ll leave again, so I can’t bring myself to get too friendly with anyone.”
When I’d told her before, she’d sobbed uncontrollably over the phone. Even when I told her not to cry, she’d just wail “But…!” and cry harder.
“Hmm… Still, there’s a two-year age gap. And we have the same last name!”
What did the last name have to do with anything?
“No, our family origins are different.”
“You’re so picky about that, so stingy. Anyway, I got hurt today. I heard I was flat-chested. I’m reporting you to the Magical Girl Management Bureau and having you locked up.”
Still lying on the floor, Han Yeeun kicked her legs in the air. How was she more childish than Seo Eunha?
“Hoo…”
Whether from exhaustion or the alcohol finally hitting her, Han Yeeun wore a tired expression.
“Oppa.”
“Yes.”
“Will you take me in too? If I say I’m hurt, that I’m struggling… will you hold me?”
“As much as you want. You’re my first guest, after all.”
Even tired, she was cute.
“……”
Han Yeeun curled up on her side and stared into empty space for a moment.
“Do you know why I like drinking?”
“Because you like being tipsy?”
“Because I can forget all the painful things. During the day I’m busy working, at night I drink until I’m drunk. That way I can forget everything that hurts.”
Her voice was no longer the usual high-pitched cheer. It sounded submerged, heavy with melancholy.
“When I first became a magical girl, I thought I could do anything. Not that I believed I was capable of everything, but that somehow it would all work out. But it didn’t.”
She sat on the sofa, head hanging low, and stayed silent for a while. Then, with obvious effort, she spoke again.
