Lucid Dream: Light Flows
Light flowed through the lucid dream. A sea of stars where neither sky nor earth was visible. As I set foot down, ripples spread out.
"Ah."
Suddenly, I was standing atop a star. Blue fragments poured over the inky black sea. Amid them, one star shone especially bright.
The North Star.
I took a step toward it, reaching for that star. One step. Two steps. Just a little further, and I could touch it.
Splash.
The final step. The star was right before my eyes now. I stretched out my hand.
But my outstretched hand merely swiped at empty air. I'd thought I was getting closer. But in truth, I hadn't drawn any nearer at all. Being right in front of it didn't mean I could reach it.
The moment I realized that, strangely enough, tears welled up. It felt so unfair. This was ridiculous. It's right there—why can't I have it? Even screaming at the top of my lungs brought back only a silent echo.
My will was too feeble to grasp that star.
The star beneath my feet shattered. Pop. The scene folded away. The world flowed by like a panorama.
A massive axe. A blade glowing red-hot. Starlight flowing along the handle. It swung.
I didn't know what it meant. But it etched itself into my eyes, as if it was something I absolutely had to witness.
Suddenly, I realized I was dreaming. I'd seen everything I needed to see. For the last time, I gazed at the star I'd failed to seize.
And then.
I closed my eyes.
…
"Nngh…."
I opened my eyes. An unfamiliar ceiling came into view. We're back in the village, huh. But this isn't our house? Someone had changed my clothes, and the warmth from the blazing hearth felt comforting.
"You're awake."
Beside the hearth, a woman sat grinding herbs.
"Snake Elder…."
Tangled Shedding Yor. It had been the first time we'd been alone together since returning with the warriors that day.
She mixed the powdered herbs into a cup of water and stirred slowly.
"Drink up, dear. It's good for your body."
I took the cup, steam rising gently. It held an orange liquid with a faint, herbal aroma. I blew on it carefully and took a sip.
"Eugh! So bitter!"
It was so bitter and astringent my tongue curled up. My face scrunched involuntarily!
"Bitter things are good for the body, so bear with it and drink up."
Her voice was firm even as she smiled. There was some irresistible magic to it, so I squeezed my eyes shut and downed the rest in one go. Bitter, hot, astringent—tasteless, anyway….
"Good job. Now, eat this too."
More bitterness? I'd pass out right after waking up. I held out my trembling hand.
Plop. What dropped into my palm wasn't medicine.
"Huh? What's this?"
A soft, yellowish orb. It smelled sweet.
"No way, is this…?"
"Honey candy. You ate something bitter, so you need something sweet now, don't you?"
Honey! How did she have something this precious? Among us beastkin, sugar was rarer than salt. Days we got to eat anything sweet were few and far between. And candy—made from honey, no less! This was totally new.
I stared at it blankly, not even putting it in my mouth, when Snake Elder reached out slyly.
"Don't like honey? If you're not going to eat it, I'll take it back… and give you some really bitter medicine instead."
"Nooo!"
She looked serious, so I hurriedly popped the candy into my mouth. It rolled around. As it slowly melted, it soothed my medicine-tortured tongue. Then—crunch. I bit down with my molars. The thin sugar shell cracked, and gooey honey burst out.
"Whoa!"
Sweetness flooded my mouth. The rich honey scent rose through my nose and filled my head. Sweet, soft… and warm.
"Oh my. Are you crying now?"
Snake Elder looked at me with an amused expression. I wiped my cheek—yep, tears.
"It's… so good."
I mumbled around the candy, savoring it. It really was delicious. Glad I'm alive.
"You really like it, huh. Your reaction's more intense than I expected…."
"Om nom nom."
"But pull yourself together now."
Clap. Snake Elder's clap snapped me out of it. To think it could steal my mind like this. Honey candy. A fearsome thing.
Still, time to get serious. The candy haze lifted, and I remembered what I'd forgotten. Right before passing out, I'd dodged Tiger Elder's punch. A trajectory I absolutely couldn't avoid. But I did. Like some unknown force had pushed my back.
That must've been mana. So then…
"Did I… succeed?"
Snake Elder nodded.
"Yes, it seems so. Bite-Crushing Fangs was so thrilled he personally entrusted you to me."
"Ah."
So Tiger Elder had asked her. I'd thought Snake Elder brought me here herself.
"Does that mean I can use mana now?"
I shot up and flailed my arms around wildly.
Whoosh! Swish—shoo. Shoo shoo.
…Nothing?
I didn't feel a thing. It wasn't like invisible things became visible. My body didn't feel lighter. Just the same as always.
"What the…."
"Of course. You've only just awakened once. If it changed everything instantly, that would be strange."
…So I have to do that a bunch more times? Once is enough to nearly die!
"Then fall off a cliff again?"
"No. You've connected to mana now, so that's not necessary."
"Phew… good."
Yeah. Going to the brink of death every time would be too much. We'd all die before awakening. Not that trying to kill people was normal to begin with. But at least no more of that—relief.
"Did you dream?"
"…Dream?"
"Everyone dreams after their first awakening."
"…."
The dream from moments ago. Every scene was still vivid in my mind. The stars and North Star. And the axe.
"A dream tied to your deepest desire. A dream of the path you'll walk. We call it a lucid dream."
Those were my deepest desires? What I wanted was my past life's civilization. The city. Technology. A world of iron and glass. If that really was my lucid dream, shouldn't that have appeared? So why stars and an axe? It couldn't be a failure….
…Should I ask Snake Elder?
"Um…."
"Don't speak of the dream's contents."
"Eek!"
"It's your personal wish, your path alone. No one else can interfere. Figure it out yourself."
"Nngh…."
Guess it's on me to solve it. Why not the city? Did I forget it in just a year? No way. My longing for civilization is still here. Otherwise, why would I stare toward the Empire every day?
Must be the things on the Great Plains. The memory of the plain seizing the stars. The sensation of cleaving goblins with my axe. Nothing in my life had been that intense.
Damn. Data corruption. Intense memories overwrote my priorities. This is an error. I need to get to the Empire ASAP for a civilization detox….
"Being hasty tangles the order."
Snake Elder's voice cut my thoughts.
"Rash judgments are forbidden. Focus on the now first."
The elder who blocked my worries opened the door. Outside was still daytime. Not as much time had passed as I'd thought. As if all words were done, Snake Elder stood at the entrance, looking at me.
I bowed my head.
"Thanks, Snake Elder. The candy was delicious."
Her eyes curved narrowly. Like she'd slightly opened her closed eyes—but probably my imagination?
"I have a few more made. Come anytime."
Okay. Means I can have more candy. Gotta come tomorrow.
I said goodbye to Snake Elder and stepped out. Maybe because I'd come back from the brink of death, but the wind felt sharper. The sunlight warmer. The Great Plains looked a little more beautiful.
…
Training wasn't over, so the next day I went to Tiger Elder too. The attempted child-murderer sat brazenly on his rock.
"You're on time today. Sleep well?"
"…Thanks to you, deeply."
So deeply anyone would've thought I'd drowned and passed out.
"Kuhaha! Tough kid—good. If you'd whined, I'd have planned to drop you off a cliff this time."
"…."
Not a joke. That jerk would really do it. The floating sensation from yesterday resurfaced, making me shiver.
"Heard from Snake Elder. You had a lucid dream? What was it?"
"Can I tell? She said not to."
"That's 'cause that old fogey's a stickler. Doesn't matter. If our paths are similar, I could even advise you."
Old fogey, huh. He looks and acts more like one. Driving people to near-death—what era is this? Well, he's offering help, no reason to refuse.
I briefly explained the dream.
"Hm… so that's it."
Tiger Elder pondered seriously. Guess he meant it about advising.
"Kuhaha! No clue!"
"What? You said you'd say something!"
"Nope, nope. Your lucid dream's texture is too different. That's why Snake Elder said that. Probably no one can advise you."
"…That much?"
"Usually, it's a clear ideal self… yours is too vague. Too vast, too abstract."
"Bad thing?"
Tiger Elder smirked.
"Hardly. Big dreams mean big vessels."
Too big a dream, huh. Yeah, to pluck a star, you'd need something plain-sized. Wait. Wanting to be like the Great Plains… that's a huge wish, right? Maybe that's why no city. The plains get a pass.
"Alright, let's start."
Tiger Elder hopped off the rock.
"What're we doing?"
"You've awakened to receive mana and recognized your desire through the lucid dream. Now, pave the path to that desire."
"Pave a path?"
"It's a metaphor for attuning the accepted mana to your body."
He sat me on the rock. Following his instructions, I adjusted into a pose like lotus position.
"Now, I'll open your qi meridians. Think of them as channels for mana to flow."
Qi meridians? Isn't that from wuxia novels? Genre suddenly fusing.
"Does it hurt?"
"Kuhaha!"
Laughter exploded behind me. Couldn't see his face, but the sound was ominous.
"You'll wish for the cliff instead."
A palm touched my back.
"Wait! I'm not ready—"
"Bite down! Here we go!"
"Uwaaaah!"
I clenched my teeth hastily.
…
….
……
"…?"
What. Not painful at all? No sensation. No pain, no heat, no flow. Just the warmth of the palm on my back.
"What? You haven't started?"
"…How."
"Tiger Elder?"
"How can this be…."
The hand lifted from my back.
I turned. Tiger Elder looked flustered. He stepped back—one, two steps, hesitantly.
"What's wrong? What went wrong?"
He stared piercingly at me.
"Ursa… what are you?"
"…Huh?"
Tiger Elder said with a despairing expression.
"…You don't need meridians opened. They're all already open."
"…What?"
For real?