Awakening's Deadly Plunge
The chilly dawn air hung heavy and still. In front of the warehouse that managed the beastkin village's food stores stood Hawk Elder, holding some jerky and staring blankly, with me just standing there in front of him. The two of us, utterly silent, gazing at each other.
I was dumbfounded, while he was probably wondering why I wasn't saying anything. At the end of that endless silence, the bored Hawk Elder finally popped the jerky he was holding into his mouth.
Good grief...
"...Tasty?"
He nodded.
Then he handed one of the pieces he was holding to me. He must've thought since I asked if it was tasty, I wanted some too.
"No, I—"
"Take it."
"...."
He shoved the jerky right up against my cheek, pressing it firmly. It felt like he was treating me like a kid, and it bruised my pride.
But what could I do? My opponent's one of the strongest beastkin around. With no choice, I took the jerky.
"...."
Even after I took it, he kept staring right through me. Those round eyes of his. Not even blinking.
Getting the hint, I started munching on the jerky, and only then did he seem satisfied, resuming his own.
"Nom nom."
...What the heck is this?
Why am I sharing stolen jerky with him in front of the warehouse at the crack of dawn? I should've just stayed in bed.
"Tasty?"
"...Yeah."
"Good."
What kind of conversation is this? It's not even forming proper sentences.
"Stone."
"...Huh?"
Hawk Elder's gaze fixed on my chest. At the end of that stare was the stone bead hanging from my necklace.
"The stone. Yours?"
I nodded.
"Where'd you get it?"
"...I've had it from the start."
I told the truth. Sure, Bear Elder had picked it up, but he'd said it was originally by my side. Not a lie.
"The thing inside it too? That from the start as well?"
"Thing inside?"
"You don't know?"
He was suddenly chatty. Seemed really interested in the stone bead. Did he know something?
"...."
Actually, I had a pretty good idea what Hawk Elder was talking about. If it was something inside this...
It had to be the Great Plains' gift. But how did he know?
"You know what's inside this?"
"No."
...What?
Suddenly playing dumb. But his eyes still wouldn't leave the stone bead. Those blank, round eyes gave me the creeps a bit.
"Ursa."
He called my name out of nowhere, startling me.
"Wh-what? You know my name?"
"Stone. Keep it on you."
"...I am."
"Always."
"Ugh...."
Truth was, I didn't always wear the necklace. It's uncomfortable, you know? I never liked jewelry to begin with. It just gets in the way. So even if I tried to wear it most of the time, I took it off at home more often than not.
"It's uncomfortable..."
"Endure it."
Instant response. So firm it felt like it'd slice me with words alone.
"Hmph."
Hawk Elder rubbed his hands together. They were empty now.
...Did he eat all that already? Swallowed without chewing?
"I'm off."
"W-wait a sec."
I grabbed the departing Hawk Elder and asked.
"How'd you know there's something inside this stone?"
He'd said he didn't know what was inside, but he'd definitely sensed something in the bead. None of the other elders had noticed.
"Simple."
He tapped around his eye.
"My eyes are sharp."
With that one line, Hawk Elder melted into the darkness like he'd vanished.
"...Weird guy."
Was it his speech? Or those eyes? Mysterious either way.
Still, I'd see him again. Hopefully during the day. At night... those eyes were a bit much.
What if they show up in my dreams?
Maybe the jerky made me sleepy. Drowsiness was creeping in.
"Time for bed."
I turned and headed home.
"...."
Right up until I opened the door and stepped inside— I never noticed Hawk Elder's gaze watching me from afar.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Finally drifting off and barely waking up that morning.
"Late! Too late!"
Flick!
"Eek!"
In the end, because I'd overslept, waiting Tiger Elder nailed me with a flick to the forehead.
"Being this lazy on the first day? Sheesh."
"Eeeek...!"
Unfair! I'd been up before sunrise every day, and of course today I couldn't sleep. Note to self: no more nerves like that.
"Since you're late, we start now. Follow."
"...Okay."
Tiger Elder led me down the plateau.
"Ursa. What'd you say mana was yesterday?"
"Um... like an energy? In everything."
"Right. But a bit different. It's not that mana dwells in all things— all things want mana to dwell in them."
"...Isn't that the same?"
"Important. If you don't get this, awakening's tough."
"It's hard..."
"Eh, you'll get it naturally. That's what training's for."
We arrived at a waterfall. Up on the cliff. The roar of the water crashing below echoed all the way up.
"Whoa. Super high."
"Yeah. Needs to be this much."
Ah. I get it.
Waterfall training. Standing under the falling water to gain enlightenment. Classic trope in stories.
"Ursa, know why awakening mana is called self-awareness?"
"Why?"
"Like I said, mana comes because things want it. Means mana reads desires."
"...."
"When someone desperately wishes and yearns, mana gathers to that yearning. When that gathered mana enters the person, we call it qi entering, or shortened, dwelling."
"Oh...."
"Once it's someone's, it's no longer pure mana— it moves by that person's will. That's qi. Got it?"
To sum up— to use mana, first accept it and make it qi; to accept it, gather it; to gather it, yearn for it—
"—right?"
Tiger Elder grinned.
"Kuhaha! Spot on. In other words, to handle mana, you gotta desperately want something."
"...Then."
"Yeah. Knowing (self) what you yourself desperately wish for (awaken). That's self-awareness."
Ah~ Totally get it now. So first, figure out what I want to do? And this waterfall's for that.
Sounds intense.
"Ready?"
"Yeah!"
His face was serious, but inside—
Kya~~~ This is it~
Handle mana? Who? Me! The flower of fantasy. Magic!
Once I awaken, I can use magic too. Doesn't matter what others think— whether it's teleportation or druidism, it's all magic to me.
Finally getting rewarded for losing civilization. That endless humiliation and barbarism... sick of it.
Thanks, Tiger Elder!
Time to become "mage" Ursa.
Hiding my excitement, I looked at Tiger Elder.
"But why up here? Don't we need to go down for training?"
We were atop the cliff. To get under the waterfall, we'd have to go way around.
Well, first time here, so maybe he got lost.
"Huh? What're you talking about? We're in the right spot."
"...?"
Not waterfall training? Then why come all the way up here? So dangerously—
Tiger Elder approached me.
"Starting the fastest awakening training now."
"...Here?"
"Yeah."
In front of me: Tiger Elder. Behind me... cliff. Precipice with the waterfall pouring down.
"Everyone has a moment they yearn most desperately in common."
"...Hold on."
"A moment of intense, certain yearning nothing like vague daily wishes can compare to!"
"...No way?"
"Right before death."
Thud.
"...Huh?"
Ground vanished from under my feet. Vision slowly dropping. Tiger Elder now above me on the cliff.
"Let's die once first."
Pushed off the cliff, I plummeted.
"Uwaaaaaah! You crazy fucking bastard!!!"
Body tumbling. Up and down mixed. Bones and flesh falling, organs resisting— that unpleasant floating where outside and inside don't sync, all over my body.
No thoughts rising. Brain just an organ taking in sensations.
Suddenly, I'm gonna die flashed.
Splash!
Crashed into the lake below the cliff. Back stung where it hit the surface, but survival first.
"Guhp guhp. Puhah. Kheuk!"
Roooar— waterfall pouring right above. Look up, crushed by water; breathe in, dunked again.
"Puha! Kek! Gurg...!"
Only thrashing to survive. Barely remembering how, I finally escaped the waterfall's range after twists and turns.
"Kek! Cough! Heuk!"
Panting raggedly, then boom—!
Tiger Elder jumped from the cliff. Landed on both feet, unlike me.
"...."
Looking down at me, knocked over by the impact. Cold eyes. Will lurking within.
Die.
For the first time, I faced killing intent.
Vrrr— vicious qi gathering in his clenched fist.
"Ahh...!"
Whoosh.
Fist thrusting. World slowed. No— my perception sped up.
Fist approaching, but no matter how hard I try, body won't move. Technically moving, but so slow it's like frozen. Can't dodge that fist.
Don't wanna...
Death confirmed. Not even a life-flashing montage. No time for that.
Right now, I want one thing.
I wanna live.
And.
Snap, something inside broke.
Pff— body lightened. Not like flailing in water. Close call. Fist grazed my ear. Wind pressure hit my eardrum.
"Kuh...!"
Splash.
Not thinking ahead, threw myself and fell back in. Strength drained, sinking.
"Ucha!"
Tiger Elder fished me out. Hanging from his hand, gasping.
"Whoa~ First try? Shame, wanna go again?"
Tiger Elder spouting nonsense in a cheery voice. Vision blurring. About to pass out, but had to say this.
"...Just. Die."