Chapter 99
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 99
Chapter Title: Zombie Parade
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"Hoo... Hoo..."
"Behold. There is no trial we cannot overcome when our faith is united as one."
Elise declared triumphantly. Honestly, sure, winning felt great, but it was mostly because the Flesh Golem was such a pathetic monster. A rotting, unbalanced body and sluggish movements. Any decently experienced warrior could hunt it down no problem.
"So, how do we deal with this thing..."
Even with both legs severed, the golem was still flailing its arms. Some structural issue kept it from getting back up.
But finishing it off was another matter entirely. Aiming for the head meant exposing ourselves to those arms. Way too risky. To kill it properly, we'd need to target the head or chest. That was the problem.
We huddled up to brainstorm.
After some deliberation, Kobson pulled out an oil flask.
"Well, look what I found."
The three of us grinned.
—Fwoosh!
We doused it with two flasks of oil and tossed in a burning log. Flames roared up. The stench of rot filled the air. The Flesh Golem's rear end burned fiercely, charring its pelvis, spine, and guts black.
"Light Bolt!"
—Boom!
The flying orb of light exploded, adding more fuel to the fire. She'd recovered her holy power by drinking holy water from her canteen and meditating. I slashed at its half-charred side with my sword, and rotten innards burst out.
The Flesh Golem stopped moving.
Sure enough, evil things were best purified by fire.
"The exalted divine always claims victory."
Elise murmured softly, staring at the burning Flesh Golem flesh with eyes like a notorious arsonist.
"Now, let us begin the ritual. We must offer this victory to the God of Order."
"Pardon?"
Elise instructed us to circle the Flesh Golem's corpse. Her expression was so dead serious that Kobson and I had no choice but to comply. We took up positions at three points and rotated around the body.
Round and round.
Round and round.
Spinning and dancing like mad.
As we twirled, Elise muttered what sounded like a prayer. To celebrate the win, I decided to belt out a song too.
"Clap your hands! Yay! And sing a song! Yay!"
"What the hell kind of song is that? Some barbarian folk tune?"
"La-la-la, let's dance hap-pi-ly!"
The mad revelry ended when Elise finished her prayer. Come to think of it, where was Claudia? She'd chased after the shaman... No way she got taken out, right? If Claudia went down, I'd follow her to the grave.
—Plop.
"Huh?"
Something flew out of the darkness. It rolled across the ground right to my feet.
"What the fuuuuuck."
It was a human head. Familiar tattoos marked the face, eyes rolled back, tongue lolling out. The severed neck openly displayed its innards. Blood-soaked vertebrae and muscle gleamed vividly.
Didn't need to see that.
"That's the shaman."
Claudia approached as I stared in shock.
She'd thrown the head.
"Should I have taken him alive? Sorry, couldn't risk laying hands on a mage."
"No, no. Thank you so much, Claudia."
Claudia dribbled the head like a soccer ball, caught it, and handed it to Elise. Elise casually tied it to her belt by the hair.
"Katt, you three took it down? Nice work."
Claudia ruffled my hair.
"Nice? What was that shaman even do—"
"Eh, tracked him down, waited for an opening, and one-shot him. No idea what he was up to, and he was a mage besides."
"Right, our Claudia's the best. You're number one. Thought you'd gotten jumped when you didn't come back."
"Heh heh heh. What would you have done if I had?"
"Killed the bastard and offed myself after. Can't live without you."
"..."
Claudia's face flushed as she averted her eyes and bit her lip.
Been waiting for a chance to drop that line, sis.
"Perfect. Anyway, we've secured the Flesh Golem's head. Anyone know how many talents that's worth?"
"Huh?"
Oh yeah, no clue. Felt like a jackpot, though. Kobson and I eagerly severed the head with trembling hands. In my book, this was huge.
"It's heavy."
"Open the sack wider."
Kobson held the sack open. I carefully lifted the head with both hands and placed it inside. With three zombie heads and the golem's noggin, it was pretty hefty.
"Anything else worth grabbing?"
"Everything's rotted. Doesn't seem like it."
"Still, let's check thoroughly."
Anyway, we decided to search the corpse more. Elise was the most enthusiastic. Said we needed to cut out the heretical symbol on its chest. Problem was, it had fallen face-down.
"Can't flip it over."
Even Claudia's strength wasn't enough. The four of us grunted and gave up.
"What now."
We debated corpse disposal briefly. After tossing out ideas, we settled on gutting it, slicing it up, and carving out just the chest piece.
Unpleasant fluids splattered, but cutting rotten flesh was easier than expected. We hacked away at the shoulders and back for a while. Elise handled the finish. She borrowed my knife, neatly excised the chest leather, folded it nicely, and hung it on her belt.
This nun's got skills.
Night was deep, but we'd all gotten some rest earlier, so no one looked tired. Lingering battle high probably helped too.
"Huh? What's this?"
Then Kobson pulled a black, round object from the guts.
A black crystal?
He wiped it clean with some pulled grass.
"That's an orb. A terribly evil one."
"An orb?"
"Yes. Artificial monsters like this need a power source. This orb must be it. I sense a profoundly wicked aura."
Elise took the crystal and spoke. Huh, an orb. Meaning...
This thing's gotta be worth a fortune, right?
I glanced at Claudia.
"Yeah, expensive."
She nodded.
"Oh! Ooooooh!"
Pure ecstasy surged through me! Raid bosses always drop the good stuff! The head alone might fetch several talents, and now an unidentified orb too!
Elise's next words nearly burst my heart.
"You three—Sir Saint, Lady Claudia, and Kobson—should take it. You've got the shaman's head, and I got help with the skinning, so it's only fair I yield it."
In other words, she takes the shaman's head and the worthless marked skin, we get the pricey orb. Fair deal. I smiled and agreed.
"S-Saint and Lady... as a couple...?"
But Claudia fixated on that part. Flustered at being called a couple. Elise drove the nail in.
"Aren't you?"
"..."
"Heh heh heh, yep! We're a couple!"
I wrapped an arm around Claudia's waist. Her face turned beet red as she bowed her head and covered it with her hands. Always shy about this stuff.
"Anyway, shall we head back? Great haul. Leave now, and we'll arrive by dawn."
"Not sleepy anymore? I'm for it. What say you, barbarian?"
"Yeah, let's go. Got oil left—make some torches."
Took six hours coming, so strolling back through the night should get us there by sunrise. Only Claudia and Elise pulled night watch. Damn.
We set off through the darkness toward the city. Kobson and I alternated carrying the sack. Elise was top contributor, couldn't ask her. Claudia earned her kill too.
Just Kobson and me, who didn't do much.
We took breaks here and there, taking it slow. No ambushes. Forest was clear of undead and monsters now. Dawn soon broke. Staying up all night finally hit me. Gotta settle up and crash.
"City walls in sight."
"Getting tired now."
True morning arrived.
We passed the same exhausted-looking guard from yesterday and reentered the city.
"Well then, we'll part here. So much to do. We'll meet again for sure. Farewell."
Elise bowed.
"Wait, no. Hey, take your talents first. Just exchange the Flesh Golem head. Come on, won't take long."
"Thank you, but I don't need any. Sister Blarett's lost her drive... Talents are useless anyway. The head and skin are enough for me."
Elise left. Left were me, Kobson, and Claudia. Dividing four ways into three was a win, but felt a tad guilty.
"Don't sweat it, Katt. Tired? Let's hit the church."
"She's right, barbarian. We got business too."
We headed straight to the nearby Brass Celestial Society church. Exchange counter was empty. Early morning, no undead—made sense. One sleepy priest manned it. I set the sack on his counter.
"Priest, guess what I brought."
"Something special?"
"Take a wild guess. You'll fall over."
"Hmm... A ghoul maybe...?"
I grinned and pulled out three zombie heads from the sack.
"Zombie heads?"
"Do-do-do-do-dooo! Ta-da!"
I hauled out the massive Flesh Golem head with both hands and plopped it on the counter.
"Th-this! What is—"
"Flesh Goooolem!"
"Flesh Golem!"
The shout drew priests, nuns, and holy knights. They gathered, gaping in disbelief.
"Vile creation!"
"What in the—"
"Brother, where did you hunt this abomination?"
"Hahaha, calm down, faithful ones."
Instant exhibition. Someone came running. Brass Celestial senior priest by his robes.
"Th-this...!"
"Hey, Priest! How many talents for this?"
"B-Bebert, how many talents we got left?"
"About 150 sheets..."
"Give it all to them!"
Incredibly, the head was worth 150 talents. We danced for joy; holy knights clapped. After Q&A, we exited.
"Here, 50 each!"
"Amazing!"
"More than expected."
"Life-changing jackpot."
Next, the orb.
"Barbarian, where to sell the orb?"
"Know a good spot."
Why worry? We got our black mage Lisha Leon Green.
Should fetch top dollar there. Slum route was iffy, but three of us? No sweat. I could solo bandits anyway.
"Follow me."
"That black mage shop from before?"
"Yep. The one we hit after our first dungeon, you and me."
"Heh, yeah."
We three headed to the east gate district. I remembered the way. Fat profits had me in high spirits.
"Wait, black mage shop? What's that?"
"Yeah, after you and I cleared that dungeon, picked up a staff?"
"Oh yeah. Sold well?"
"Of course. 5 silvers."
"What?! 5 silvers?!"
Kobson freaked. Idiot sold it cheap with Meria at the alchemist guild back then.