Chapter 100
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 100
Chapter Title: Zombie Parade
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"Why didn't you tell me!"
"You sold yours ages ago, you punk."
"Ah, damn it!"
"Better to sell first than hoard it. Hehe."
We chatted as the three of us walked, and we arrived at our destination in no time. I glared into the alley, but no thugs were in sight. Maybe because there were three of us—normally, some scout would poke their head out. Anyway, no sign of them was a good thing.
I took the lead. My memory was a bit fuzzy, but after a few turns down the alleys, I found Lisha's shop.
"W-We’re going in there?"
"Fucking scary, right? A goddamn terrifying witch lives inside. She devours all the shitty bastards. I hear slum thugs are her favorite meal."
I spun some bullshit to scare him. Kobson looked like he was about to bolt.
Like adventurers who blindly believed in folk superstitions, witches were terrifying creatures that only appeared in nightmares. In that sense, Kobson was the epitome of a native isekai local.
"A witch!"
"Claudy, wanna go in? You skipped it last time."
"No, I'm good. I'll wait outside."
Claudy declined to enter again this time. Even she, who usually stuck close to me, seemed pretty creeped out by this witch's shop. I had no idea why. It was fine by me.
"Hey, Kobson. Let's go."
"I-I'll wait outside too!"
Kobson started trembling.
"Pussy."
Creak.
And so I ended up going in alone. The inside was pitch dark. The windows were all covered with curtains. No wonder the witch's skin was so pale. Blocking out UV rays made for perfect skin.
"Isn't it a bit early for this?"
"Ah, good to see you, Witch Lady. It's been a while."
"You've brought something good again, I see."
Suddenly the darkness lit up, and the black mage Lisha Leon Green appeared. The silver-haired, red-eyed loli witch... She was rubbing her sleepy eyes, wearing nothing but a sheer black negligee that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
Shocked to my core, I whipped around with a quick about-face—twice for good measure. With a body like that, her age didn't matter; it was straight-up criminal.
"What's wrong? Ah, my outfit's the issue. It's fine now. Turn around."
"..."
When I turned back, she was already dressed in a perfect gothic dress. Magic, huh. I cleared my throat, glanced around, and spoke up.
"We already said hi... Witch Lady, check out what I brought."
"I've already seen it. Put it down there."
"On the bare table? What if it rolls off?"
"...I'll get a cushion."
I placed the orb on the small purple cushion she provided. Inside it, it felt like the primal screams of humanity cursing their fate were echoing—a seriously ominous thing. The color was that murky.
"This thing immediately made me think of you, Witch Lady. What do you think? Top-quality orb, right? It's like it's filled with humanity's sins, that murky hue. If you listen closely, you can hear the wails of wicked sinners from within. Ever since I got my hands on it, I haven't slept a wink—that color! That orb! Even the filthiest sewer sludge would be crystal-clear spring water compared to this! I could just devour it right now... Ah, despair! Orb of despair! How can you be so pitch-black? Just like my hair!"
I pointed at the orb and unleashed a torrent of flattery to hype up its value. Like a con artist, I ranted on about its worth, but halfway through, I got way too into it and ended up yanking at my hair, howling in mock horror.
Truth was, I knew jack shit about orbs. That's why.
"Hehehe, chirping like a canary... Boy, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Uh... yeah? What's that got to do with anything...?"
"Hmm... You do, don't you? Never mind. Anyway, contrary to your description, this orb isn't great quality."
She said the exact same thing as Elise, and I couldn't hide my blatant disappointment. Picking up the orb and peering inside, she continued.
"Don't look so down. I can give you about 30 silver for it."
"—!"
Gaaah!!! I screamed internally. What do I do!? The Teletubbies are coming out! I was so thrilled I thought I'd lose my mind. Teletubbies meant that level of joy. Amid the panic, I recalled Lamaze breathing, took slow breaths, and calmed myself.
"Sell it to me?"
"Of course, of course, of course—!!! Thank you!! Witch Lady!"
We chatted a bit more after that. Before I knew it, my hands were full of silver coins. One, two, three... a total of 30. Perfectly divisible by 10. I bowed politely and headed out, promising to come again when she asked.
"Whew, whoa, hahaha!!!"
"You're out."
"Don't laugh weird."
When Kobson asked how much I got, I declared "30" like a proclamation. He dropped to his knees and tearfully asked if it was real. "Yeah." At that, Kobson burst into tears.
"Here, take these '10 silvers.'"
I handed him the silver fruits nobly. I stuffed some directly into Claudy's pouch too. We left the alley, said goodbye to Kobson, and parted ways. Almost forgot—I gave him the tag from the dead adventurer I'd picked up. Elise didn't need it since she wasn't an adventurer.
"So, Katt, back to the room now?"
Now that it was just us two, a bolder Claudy pushed me against the wall and stroked my crotch. I shoved her away as she tried to yank down my pants and slip her hand in.
"Hold on. Let's swing by the church first."
"..."
"Don't pout."
I offered her my hand. She took it reluctantly, and I dragged her to the Salvation Paradise Church. Combining the 50 talants I'd earned with what I'd saved up, I might—just might—afford the Salvation Paradise Greaves. They were still on discount, so with luck, it was doable.
I figured this was pretty much my last shot. Tomorrow, there'd be no more undead. The festival would end, and my chance to boost my taekwondo's attack power with those greaves would be gone forever.
Those metal shin and instep guards wouldn't just increase defense—they'd skyrocket my kicking power.
"Still a lot of people here, huh?"
"Yeah, people love shopping even without money."
The Salvation Paradise Church's parade ground was pretty crowded. Maybe because their goods were high-quality—even early morning, it was packed with onlookers. They'd set up the displays so neatly from the start. That's why they had so many customers.
It felt like a church-affiliated department store.
I let go of Claudy's hand for a moment and headed to where the greaves were displayed. Heart pounding, I checked the stand—thank god, they hadn't sold yet.
"Ah, fuck, but the price..."
Even with the discount, I was just short. Agonizingly short on talants.
"Fuck."
I could haggle? Nah, they'd already slashed the price this much—what more did I want? They'd probably lecture me about not being greedy, sermons included.
Ask Claudy to chip in a bit?
Ah... nah, that felt wrong.
Borrowing money from a girlfriend? Even if it was talants, no way in hell.
Got some pride, fuck.
"Ah, fuck, I want it so bad."
What now? Seriously. Ah.
"Haa..."
After pacing forever, I finally sighed.
Just give up.
Not meant to be.
Head to the smithy with the cash I made. For blessings... maybe ask Elise for a good-luck charm or something.
"You there! The tall one!"
Someone called out to me then.
It was the nun handling accessories.
And that's when inspiration struck.
"Me?"
"Yes! Interested in accessories, right?"
I strode over. She didn't seem to remember me—the one who'd shooed me away mercilessly for having no talants.
"Over here! Eyeing the Rings of Eternal Bliss? Just 40 talants! Gift them to your sweetheart for a hundred years of happiness!"
"You really love that 'eternal bliss' line, huh."
"Of course! How wonderful is eternal bliss!"
There were silver pairs and gold pairs. Gold to match Claudy's gold earrings? Something about Hel-Kahn being gold...
That was the spark.
I'd gift her the ring.
"I'll take a gold pair!"
"Yes! 80 talants!"
"What? You said 40!"
"Huh? Why are you yelling? 40 is for silver! Gold's 80!"
Oh, right.
"Oops, my bad. Thought it was 40. Gold pair, then."
"Right away!"
I shelled out a whopping 80 talants for the gold ring pair. Festival ends soon anyway—no point hoarding. Time to show Claudy how I felt. I found her browsing weapons at the arms corner.
"Claudy."
"Oh, back? The greaves?"
I dragged her to a corner before she could say more. "Hey, what?" Crowded—better find somewhere quiet. "Just follow." Found a secluded spot quick enough.
"Gimme your hand."
"My hand?"
"Just hold it out."
Alone now, I demanded her hand. Claudy looked baffled but extended it. I took her finger and slipped the ring from my pouch onto it.
Click.
My face started burning.
"Wh-What's this?"
"It's a custom from my homeland... We give rings to girlfriends like this? Means we'll be together forever. Saw this ring and thought of you."
Isekai or not, Korea does rings for proposals—at least in dramas I'd seen. Romantic's universal, so despite the embarrassment, I confessed like one.
"So I bought it. See? Matching mine. Proof of love."
Face scorching, I showed her my hand with the matching ring. Claudy's expression was pure confusion. She mumbled "Ring...? Custom...?" chewing over my words.
And then.
"...!"
Her face flushed red, and she flailed around, not knowing what to do.
Must be super embarrassed.
"What? Don't like it?"
Her cuteness tempted me to tease.
"Huh?! N-No! Not that! I love it! Totally love it! Ah, ahhh... Uh, so... this is... Wait, what about the greaves? You wanted those!"
Stumbling badly but affirming she loved it, Claudy desperately changed the subject. We'd seen all of each other already, yet her shyness had me blushing hard too.
"Greaves were too pricey. And gifting you this beats that anyway. Seeing you this happy? Good call. You'll accept my feelings?"
I grabbed her hand like a man.
"...Katt."
Claudy, fully in 'that' mode, gazed at me with moist eyes.
Ah, shit. Wrong timing?
Should've been in the room. Things are escalating.
"Hand over all your remaining talants."
"Huh?"
"Quick."
"Uh... here."
But her words were the last thing I expected. Flustered, I dumped all my leftover talants into her hands as demanded.
"Here."
She snatched them, spun on her heel, and bolted toward the church.
"What?"
What? What went wrong?
Beyond comprehension, I panicked half to death, replaying the confession in my head for mistakes.
First proposal ever, right? But fuck, nailed it for a newbie. What's the issue? Deep in thought, footsteps approached.
Claudy was back.
"Claudy? What's that?"
She carried a large box.
"...I had some talants saved too."
She pulled out the contents.
Salvation Paradise Greaves.
"Take it. Return gift for the ring."
"...Thanks."
She'd combined my talants with hers to buy the Salvation Paradise Greaves. Holding them, joy made my head spin. Right now, Claudy...
"..."
Our eyes met.
Her blushing face, avoiding my gaze, biting her lip—it was utterly adorable.
Broad daylight—morning even—and we naturally kissed.
The festival was over.
But mine was just beginning, maybe.
Well, as always, festivals start and end with your lover. Isekai or modern world, no difference.
What's a festival without a girlfriend? She was my festival.
Shame it wasn't a summer night with fireworks.
We finally parted lips, laughing, hands linked, and headed back to the room.
Motel ending for real, what the hell.