Chapter 89
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 89
Chapter Title: Zombie Parade
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ㅡQueeeeeh!
"Uwaaaah!!"
Suddenly, the ghoul let out a roar and leaped forward, then started darting around like a mountain rabbit on a trip to dreamland. Running on all fours in the shape of a human, it threw its tantrum, and terror flooded the air in an instant.
I'm weak to scary stuff!
"It's a dread zombie!!!"
"That thing's a ghoul?"
"Y-Yes! Miss Claudy!"
The ghoul's skin was a deep gray. Aside from being bald, it looked just like a human. But the details were vastly different. Its eyes were pitch black like they'd been filled with sewage, with no whites at all, and its fangs protruded, giving it a vicious centipede-like vibe.
Above all, its tongue was long like a chameleon's. With that tongue whipping around and claws as tough and sharp as a bird of prey's, it was a true man-eating monster.
"Calm down, Barbarian! The three of us can handle it just fine!"
"R-Right!"
I drew my sword alongside Kobson.
It was a bit disorienting, but a ghoul was still made of flesh and bone. Stab it with a blade, and it'd spew black blood and die, no doubt.
Even if it was worth five talants per head, three of us attacking together would surely kill the damn thing, no matter how tough.
ㅡQueeeeeh!
The ghoul opened its maw and charged at us.
"W-Wait! That bastard's fucking fast!"
"Guh! It's getting closer!"
As we braced to counterattack, Claudy stepped forward. Both her hands gripped curved swords. She looked so imposing I nearly pissed myself.
"Haa... I just wanna get down quick. Stay put. I'll finish it."
With that, Claudy launched herself at the incoming ghoul. Her form blurred for a moment. No running start, yet she surpassed the ghoul's accelerating speed.
One second to admire that incredible dash.
ㅡShiiiik!
And one second later, it was over.
ㅡPlop plop!
Fully mangled chunks of ghoul rained down from the sky like a downpour. She'd spun in midair and snatched the ghoul's head as it leaped up.
"Here."
"Uh, yeah."
"Grab anything useful from the corpse."
Still dazed, I took the head and stuffed it into the sack, then rifled through the body with Kobson.
A ghoul turned into minced meat in one second. Holy shit.
"She carved it up good."
The corpse's abdomen was empty like it'd had open surgery. The gruesome sight resembled rice mixed with seasoned crab guts, but we had to loot what we could, so I swallowed my disgust and cut off its clothes.
Seeing a regular human corpse versus a monster-eaten one felt different. The latter hit harder with revulsion.
"What a rice-stealing bastard."
From its body, we harvested 12 talants and a bit over 1 silver in cash. While Kobson picked up the mace it dropped, I yanked off its shoes. Pretty good payoff for a moment of nausea. My mood lifted right away.
"Done? Let's head down now."
Clady, who'd been waiting, urged us on. She grabbed my hand and tugged as we walked fast, clearly eager to get back to the city. Wait, why so rushed?
"Clady, aren't you in too much of a hurry? We finished early anyway, so we can take it slow. No need to rush. Hell, they say the more you rush, the more you should turn back. Should we just head back?"
Joking like that, Claudy glanced at Kobson—glaring at him—then whispered in my ear. Her hot breath tickled, making me shrink back. I stifled a groan.
"But I'm excited."
"Huh?"
"Haa... It's flowing. Hard to hold back."
"Huh?"
It was such a shocking statement.
The kind that needed censorship.
This was an international incident.
"Why the sudden excitement?"
"'Cause you showed off so cool."
"Cool? You got turned on watching me slice up that guy?"
"Honestly, yeah. And quit making me say it. He might hear."
"What the hell are you even saying, sis?!"
I shoved her away, yelling like a maniac.
Her passionate urges were a bit much, but I had no idea she saw me that way!
"Snap out of it, sis!"
"D-Don't call me sis! I'm older than you... W-Well..."
"Older than what? I already know! That you're older than me, Claudy sis!"
"...!"
Clady's face turned beet red.
This was the golden chance to uncover her real age.
Those earrings seemed like the key.
"Come on, Claudy sis! Time to reveal your age!"
"Hii!"
I snuck my hand under her hood and grabbed both ears. She let out a moan and went limp.
"Doesn't matter how old sis is, heh heh heh!"
"Hng! S-Stop! Ears for a sec!"
Six earrings...
One per decade? Or per twenty years? Dark thoughts flashed, but only she'd know for sure.
"...I'd appreciate it if you toned down the PDA. Don't you care about my feelings? Old folks gotta die sometime. Why don't I have a girlfriend?"
"..."
"..."
Kobson, who'd been jutting his lantern jaw and glaring, spoke solemnly. His philosophical lament left us speechless.
"Let's go. Since the Barbarian can't drink, I'll have to solo it today. Now that I think about it, all my other buddies are in Krasheim. Damn it."
The heavy mood silenced us. I carefully released Claudy's ears. We descended the quiet mountain—no undead, just eerie desolation. As gloomy as Kobson's dropped spirits.
"...We're down."
At the base, the road appeared. Crossing the hill, Isbrandt's walls came into view. I silently handed Kobson the sack. Time to switch.
We passed the gates without a word.
"Damn it all! Say something! Why's it so quiet?!"
"Uh... sorry..."
"Guh!"
Anyway, we hit the smithy and sold three shortswords, an axe, and the mace for about 1 silver—decent haul from those generous bastards. Sold five pairs of shoes at the nearby shop too.
Total 2 silver, plus 1 more from accessories.
"Time to settle up."
Divided nearly 10 silver three ways, and 79 talants evenly. Each got 3 silver 15 copper and 26 talants.
"One farmer head and two zombie heads. And..."
"One ghoul head."
The undead bounty was a measly 8 talants.
Exchanged it at the church right away.
"Oh, is this a ghoul? Impressive you took it down."
"Really?"
"Pretty strong undead. First time I've seen one."
Settlements done, split evenly three ways.
Kobson pocketed his share and waved goodbye.
"Catch you later..."
"Yeah, see ya."
His back looked so pitiful as he vanished into the city.
"Katt."
With Kobson gone, Claudy clung openly. Pressing against my arm, she dragged me with brute force. No resisting that bull strength.
"Won't forgive you for the sis teasing. Get ready."
"Wait! It's still daytime!"
"So what? You groped my ears outside too."
One hundred percent soul-sucking ahead, so I resisted desperately. But she was a monstrous warrior, half-dark elf. Got dragged along anyway.
Resigning to death, I spotted Elise by the walls with a little stall. Hope surged—I yelled reflexively.
"Oh? Hey! Elise! Elise!"
"...Ah, it's the saint."
"Tch."
Elise approached, and Claudy let go. I jumped up, waving excitedly. Genuine joy hit me.
"Over here!"
"Katt, doesn't change your fate."
"Just buying time."
"The longer you delay, the worse it gets."
Shiver.
My body trembled.
Elise had set up a religious stall, hawking wares. Where's Sera?
"On your way back from purifying undead?"
"Yeah. Didn't catch many today. Undead supply dried up."
"I see. That's comforting."
Comforting because fewer undead, or because she couldn't purify any? Probably the former.
"Where's Sera? Weren't you two together?"
"I stepped out yesterday for fun... er, business, so she asked me to handle today alone. Seems she's sightseeing."
"Gotcha."
She seemed decent enough.
"Anyway, since you're here, care to browse our stall? No customers, so bored."
"Sounds good! Claudy, let's check it out!"
"...Haa."
Smiling, I grabbed Claudy's hand and pulled. She relented, letting me lead. Curious what the Radiant Cross Society sold.
Elise explained at the stall.
"As you know, the Radiant Cross Society only sent Sister Blarett and me for festival support, so it's small-scale. But the cardinal instructed us to provide good holy arms for those fighting evil, so we brought decent stuff."
"Hmm."
About ten items on the tiny stall. From an ominous execution greatsword with a razor edge, to a gleaming silver vajra, to what looked like Antioch's holy grenades—zealot tools for holy war.
"What do you think? Ah, this execution sword is said to be forged by a blacksmith blessed by Kshanadiel, the Radiant Celestial Angel of the Demon-Exorcising Throne of the Wingless Heavenly Emperor."
"W-What?"
"But recent research from the Self-Reflective Celestial Doctrine Study Group claims Kshanadiel isn't a limb of the supreme Aijomart but a herald of Verde, so the cardinal ordered it removed. Still valuable if you're interested."
That sword? 5000 talants.
"...Can anyone even buy this?"
"Same thought. No way it sells. Probably for promo or side purposes."
I eyed the wares.
Many intriguing, but pricey. Cheapest was a 200-talant holy dagger. Tempting. Claudy eyed it too.
"This dagger?"
"Ah, ceremonial dagger. Doctrine reinterpretation changed rituals a few years back, so obsolete. Forged with holy power, very durable."
Clady inspected and set it down. We chatted with Elise, killing time. She said if no sales, better rotate with Sera for missionary or purification work.
"Yeah, makes sense. No business, gotta do something. Hey, any word on the necromancer?"
"Just rumors of pursuit. No details. I'll let you know if caught."
"Thanks."
Clady signaled to go, so we wrapped up. I bid Elise farewell.
"Checked out the goods. Fun times. If talants jackpot, I'll return."
"Farewell."
Leaving Elise, out to the main street. Claudy glared.
"No more resisting."
I raised hands above head in surrender.
"...I'm already soaked bad. Brace yourself."
We're done for.
Her eyes were dangerous.