Chapter 15
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 15
Chapter Title: Date?
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It was the next day. Normally, people take Saturday and Sunday off consecutively as common sense, so I was lounging in the inn bed, basking in the morning sunlight, thinking I'd rest today too. Then, out of nowhere, that thought hit me.
The sermon.
Today was definitely the day the Brass Celestial Society was holding their sermon.
Sermons held at churches are typically regular events aimed at recruiting new believers, explaining doctrines and benefits like, "Join our faith and you'll go to heaven," or "Get promoted to mid-level believer and we'll heal your injuries."
The biggest draw was handing out a bottle of holy water as a souvenir to visitors—that was the bait to hook the poor, uneducated masses who couldn't afford real holy water and treated it like a miracle cure-all.
Once those fools joined, they'd rot as low-level believers forever, faithfully paying their tithes. In my eyes, isekai churches were no different from multi-level marketing scams.
And the holy water they gave out? [Lowest-Grade Holy Water].
Not even low-grade—lowest-grade.
At that point, it was probably no different from tap water.
Hell, it might actually just be tap water. In this barbaric era crawling with crazy con artists, why would churches be any different? They're not priests who can detect divine power anyway. They slap some tap water in a vial, say "holy water," and the ignorant masses swallow it hook, line, and sinker. Then they babble bullshit like, "Ever since I drank it, my back doesn't hurt anymore, my knees don't ache"—placebo effect at its finest.
If they believe it that hard, maybe it's fine? But the fact they got scammed doesn't change.
Somehow, while ranting, I've made it sound like a done deal that it's tap water, not holy water—but that's just talk. It's not actually the case, so rest easy. In this isekai, the most trustworthy folks were still the religious types.
Anyway, I had zero interest in that crap holy water, and I didn't believe in gods to begin with. If they handed out a loaf of bread instead, maybe I'd show up. I'd tried the holy water from a previous sermon—did jack shit. If it saved me meal money, I'd bother going.
And yeah, I wasn't big on religion back home either, so expecting me to buy into isekai gods was way out of line. From what I'd overheard, gods here supposedly descended as avatars, and divine power was their strength or whatever—but I couldn't picture any god with real substance.
Born in a country where polytheism had crumbled and Christ was the one true god, how the hell was I supposed to believe in some Order God Izermart or Moon God Dantemone?
Damn, I'm rambling off-topic again.
Mornings on weekends have that effect. But more importantly, the core of those scattered thoughts that popped up wasn't anything relaxing.
"Ah, fuck..."
Then it hit me—I'd made some lame excuse to Winia and ended up promising to go to the sermon together.
Realizing that, my heart started pounding. It felt like inky black, tar-like octopus tentacles were squeezing it tight—pure suffocation.
For some reason, it felt like I'd conjured the most absurdly shitty thought. And it was true. If I'd just slept without thinking, it'd have been fine.
"This is fucked, isn't it."
Spending the weekend with Winia? No way that made sense...
I couldn't imagine a busy mage like Winia actually investing her precious day just to torment me by dragging me there.
No... thinking negatively, it was creepy how plausible that was. Honestly, I wished that was it.
I believed it. She said it just to mess with me in the moment. Had to be 100% that.
Was mage a leisurely job? On days off, they'd research magic alone, craft scrolls for pocket money, visit the Magic Tower, teach junior mages, meditate to recover mana, or memorize spells from ancient traditions.
Mages' schedules overflowed with productive shit—to me, just handling that would fill a day. Had to be. It made more sense. Mages were super smart, rational beings, right? Even if Winia was a batshit crazy bitch without common sense, she was still a mage at heart. She'd think rationally.
Using the power of positive thinking to squash that anxiety—like a sprout bursting through soil—I tried flopping back down to sleep.
"—!"
Something noisy banged outside.
Who the fuck was this brainless asshole screaming bloody murder this early in the morning?
Isekai folks truly lacked common sense. Thinking deeper, Hel Joseon wasn't much different. Anyway, please stop the weekend morning racket.
"—!"
I tried ignoring it to sleep, but the petty criminal kept yelling.
Maybe someone got hit by a carriage, screaming.
Sucks, but some kind, righteous soul could report it for sleepy me. Hell, in a world without 119, I wouldn't even know how.
"—!"
Pulling the blanket over my head helped a bit. Just crash out.
Thud thud thud.
Now the downstairs was noisy.
What idle crazy homeless fuck was chugging booze at midday and tap-dancing on the first floor? The world was shit—quiet until you try sleeping, then suddenly these pricks pop up doing the erection blues.
Why did upstairs always hammer nails into walls at night? Why jump around the living room only at night? What did night mean to them? Pretty sure they held some sinister ritual every evening.
In deepening suspicion, I started thinking that was actually the best-case scenario.
Bang!
My door flew open.
Terrified, I peeked from under the blanket.
What I saw—
"Blackie."
The pink-haired big-tits mage.
Winia.
"When I call, come out."
In this unbelievable reality, I nearly fainted. Vision went black for a sec. Foam bubbled from my mouth. Dying here in bed forever didn't sound bad.
Smack!
"Ow!"
"Not only did you make me wait, you forced me to come find you, and now you're sleeping right in front of me? Amazing! What do you think promises are?!"
Staves weren't just for magic—you could bash heads with them too.
Yelping in pain and shock, I bolted up—only to get dragged out by Winia. For a mage, she was strong as hell, hauling my floppy ass barehanded.
"Let's go!"
"W-where?"
"Forgot? You promised to hang out with me today."
Unfortunately, she hadn't forgotten. Bye-bye, pretty day. Planned to read, exercise, laze around comfortably—fucked now. Goddamn it.
"W-wait! Let me wash up first!"
"No need!"
"What?"
"Grimy Blackie is cute!"
"How's this cute?!"
"Dunno? Like a big dirty dog? Anyway, hurry!"
She dragged me out raw—shoes half-on, no wash.
Looked like Winia had antisocial psychosis from walking dirty big dogs for kicks.
No religion specialized in curing twisted minds, far as I knew. If there was, fuck the sermon—I'd drag her there.
"Ah, shit..."
Hair grown to shoulders, messy as fuck; clothes sloppy; no face wash.
If I were a girl, walking with a guy like this would crush my pride—I'd scream and bolt.
But Winia just grinned ear-to-ear, gripping my wrist, marching on. This sadist's tastes were beyond me.
"So, wanna do what Blackie wants first? You said the church sermon—let's go there!"
"You usually cleanse yourself before church. That's proper."
"It's fine with me. No one cares if Blackie's dirty but me, right?"
"Th-that so? Eh, whatever."
I couldn't shake her saying "first." Planning to stick with me all day?
Too scared to ask.
Morning visit like this—she wasn't letting go easy...
"Brothers and sisters. Welcome."
"The sermon hall is inside."
After walking a bit, we reached the Brass Celestial Society church.
This huge place buzzed from the entrance—tons of people for the sermon.
Why flock here this early for religion? Faith won't save you. Only your own strength will. If gods existed, they'd have saved me from Winia ages ago.
"So crowded. Blackie, don't get lost—hold my hand tight, okay? If you vanish in the chaos, I'd be lost too."
"I'll grip like Mom's hand—relax."
"Ew, what kinda talk is that."
Ignoring the soliciting nuns and priests, we entered the church's training grounds. Isekai churches didn't just preach—they trained militarily to exterminate evil, based on shared ideology.
The grounds were for that. What else would paladins and holy warriors do with spare time? No fapping, so sweat and blood it was.
Anyway, the vast grounds were packed with sermon attendees.
"Welcome, saints of tomorrow. We gathered here today to..."
Messing around with pesky Winia to kill time, the sermon started. An old guy introducing himself as Senior Priest Alfredo droned on boringly. No chairs—like standing for the principal's speech on the school field.
"Blackie really into this stuff?"
"Like I said, not enlightenment—holy water. Health matters."
"Gonna give that to all these people? Looks like they'll hand out fake-ass holy water."
"Hm, yeah, you're right."
I knew, smartass.
Winia looked bored; I got bored too, so I tuned into the doctrine.
Brass Celestial Society teachings boiled down to: Kill monsters that kill humans. See evil humans? Kill 'em first. Don't do immoral shit. See someone doing that? Kill 'em. Or kill yourself. Punish injustice. Do that, go to heaven. Glory to the Just Scales God Berde. Stuff like that.
Sounds decent at first, but three seconds deeper? Most doctrines end in "kill."
What criminal gang was this? In Krasheim, about 50% of assault arrests were Brass Celestial priests. The other 50%? Radiant Cross Society.
Source: Adventurer's Guild gossip—don't quote me.
Anyway, time dragged like hell.