Kidult
Nothing was going my way. Just because I hated the idea of Harin going to the amusement park with her crush, I had gone around asking everyone under the sun and somehow ended up locking myself into a bunch of pointless plans.
In the end I was so flustered I never even managed to tell Eunju I was quitting school; I just had to send her home. Well, we were seeing a movie tomorrow, so I could bring it up then…
But hadn’t I already retired from the high-school-boy cosplay? I thought a few leftover appointments would let me walk away clean, yet extra meetings kept spawning like they had a life of their own.
“I already told you I don’t need side dishes! I cook perfectly fine for myself, so don’t bother bringing any.”
On the drive home, Eom Chaewon was glued to her phone for once, deep in conversation with someone. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but she was yelling like she owned the car, so the context came through loud and clear. Whoever was offering side dishes had to be her mother—120 percent.
“Ugh, this is so annoying.”
Only then did she hang up and shake her head. I had no desire to poke into someone else’s family business, but driving in total silence felt too awkward, so I spoke up.
“That was your mother, right? Sounds like she wants to drop off some food for you.”
“Yeah.”
She answered right away today? Then again, she had just been on the phone, so maybe she didn’t need the usual warm-up time to process my words.
“Come to think of it, you seem to live alone. Where’s your family home originally?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Just curious… If your mom’s willing to come all the way over with side dishes, she can’t live that far, right?”
“I don’t need that kind of crap.”
“What do you mean, ‘that kind of crap’? If you get home late you just order Coupang Eats anyway, so why refuse? Your mother wants to take care of you and you’re acting like it’s some huge burden—”
“Oh my god… I’ve never voted once in my entire life! I’ve never even heard that candidate’s name, okay? More importantly, how the hell did you get my number and start calling me?”
“…?”
What was this? I hadn’t said a single word about voting, so why was she treating me like some political nutjob?
Or was it something else? Had Eom Chaewon hung up with her mother and immediately started another call, while I kept talking to her without realizing it—turning the whole thing into accidental humiliation play?
“How do these people even get my number? This is exactly why I never vote!”
Confirmation kill. Chaewon was so irritated she yanked out her AirPods and started ranting at empty air.
Meanwhile I was breaking into a cold sweat, terrified she would notice I had been holding a one-sided phone conversation with someone who never intended to answer. Stay calm. She had been so absorbed in her call she probably hadn’t heard a word I—
“Team Leader, what have you been mumbling about this whole time?”
“M-me? I haven’t said a single thing!”
Shit, she heard everything. Honestly, it would have been better if I had just been cheerfully talking to myself.
“Don’t tell me you’re driving drunk right now? Are you insane? If you want to die, die alone—why are you trying to take a perfectly healthy person with you?”
“W-what are you talking about, Chaewon? We’ve been working the loading dock together this whole time! I haven’t even had a glass of water, let alone—”
“A glass?! So one glass means it’s okay to drink and drive? Can you say the exact same thing in front of a judge?”
“What? I didn’t say I had one glass—I said I didn’t have even one—”
Tap-tap-tap!
But Chaewon had already stopped listening. She was huffing to herself and furiously typing something on her phone.
Tonight, Blabla would probably see a post titled “What do you think of a boss who gets wasted and drives while carpooling?” racking up a mountain of comments.
Just like that, I had become the trash team leader who drank and drove his subordinate home.
I got back to the house. The CBR125R parked in the corner of the lot made me think of Hyeonji all of a sudden.
“…?”
Come to think of it, I hadn’t heard a peep from her since yesterday. It wasn’t like we had to stay in contact, but I had been half-expecting another abrupt “Get out here!” text and worrying about it in the back of my mind.
I sent the text just in case. No reply came, of course. She must be seriously pissed… I was about to pocket the phone when the message window suddenly flipped to Read.
“….”
And that was it. No further answer. This was textbook read-and-ignore.
Looking at it now, she wasn’t just sulking—she was straight-up resenting me. Given Hyeonji’s personality, the second she saw me riding the exact same bike she would never buy it herself.
Considering the CBR125R was the strongest in its class, she would have no choice but to jump to a higher price bracket. A few more months of part-time work—no wonder she was in a foul mood.
Creeeak…
I hadn’t particularly wanted late-night contact with Hyeonji, but knowing someone out there was actively hostile toward me left a bad taste. When I stepped inside, Harin was “again” curled up on the sofa waiting for me.
“Uh… were you waiting for me? You could’ve at least poured yourself an iced tea or something.”
If she just sat there staring with those wide eyes after I had pulled overtime, I ended up feeling guilty. At the words “iced tea,” though, Harin flinched like she had developed a full-blown neurosis and slightly furrowed her brows.
“Iced tea again… I just wanted to ask when we’re going.”
“The amusement park? Ah, that… maybe this weekend?”
“Which day? My friends asked if Saturday works.”
“Then let’s do Sunday. I’m meeting friends on Saturday.”
“Okay.”
That seemed to be all she had to say. Harin nodded in understanding and only then headed to her room.
What the hell was this completely un-father-and-daughter, pure business-meeting vibe? Anyone watching would think she would rather die than go to an amusement park with her dad and had only waited up to check whether the plans had mercifully been canceled.
The fact that she could have just texted or called but deliberately waited until I got off work was proof enough. Even with the nephews included, Harin clearly hated the current group composition.
And the most depressing part? Swapping out just one person would instantly lift those drooping corners of her mouth.
If “me” simply became “her crush”…
Jingle!
The next morning I dropped by Aunt’s restaurant to kill the weekday emptiness. No one asked me to, but I walked straight into the kitchen and started washing dishes.
“What’s wrong this time?”
After the lunch crowd thinned out, Aunt and Uncle and I had a light tea break. Scratching my head, I laid out the amusement-park schedule.
“Harin really doesn’t want to go with me.”
“I told you already, didn’t I? Your father-daughter relationship only actually started five months ago. If you rush in too hard you just make her feel pressured—why don’t you get that?”
“I know. Honestly, I could just tell her to go with her friends and buy a few tickets myself.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Harin’s weirdly sensitive about money. Three tickets plus food and rides easily hits two hundred thousand won. If it were the nephews tagging along that would be one thing, but if I hand her three or four tickets for other friends she’ll definitely tell me to get a refund.”
“So just buy two tickets and let her go with that boy. Why does that bother you so much?”
“That’s…”
Truthfully, I didn’t fully understand it myself. Now that the misunderstanding about Harin had been cleared up, I had no intention of dragging genetics into it again.
I just hated it. The thought of my daughter going on an amusement-park date with some guy whose face I had never even seen rubbed me the wrong way. And the bastard wasn’t even interested in her!
“You’re not… thinking something weird, are you?”
Right then Uncle took off his glasses like he had achieved sudden enlightenment. Come to think of it, I had never seen him remove those glasses in my entire life.
Then squeak-squeak… he started polishing the lenses—already smeared with pork-cutlet grease—on the hem of his T-shirt. Hey, if you’re going to start a conversation, finish cleaning them first, okay?
“Spit it out already, you idiot!”
Thwack!
Aunt finally lost patience and smacked the back of his head. Uncle’s shrimp eyes—normally hidden behind the reading glasses—flashed as he scratched his nape.
“Heh heh… sorry. It’s just, Aunt and I talked about you a bit. From our perspective, the way you’re fixated on Harin is… not exactly normal, you know?”
“Uh… yeah. I’ve thought the same thing myself, actually. But one way or another she and I are father and daughter now, and she’s the only direct family I have left, so maybe I care a little more than necessary—”
“Or maybe it’s something else. Right after middle school you went off to Maritime High, lived in the dorms, and basically cut yourself off from the family, didn’t you?”
“That’s true. But what does that have to do with anything?”
“What do you mean, what does it have to do? You might have thought you were all grown up back then, but looking back you were still a kid. Especially living half-estranged from your family—you had a completely different high-school life from ordinary kids.”
“….”
He wasn’t wrong. There were hundreds of students at Maritime High, but I was the only one who spent every vacation sleeping rough at Seoul Station because of resentment toward my family.
“So what does that have to do with Harin?”
“How does it not? You were exactly Harin’s age then. So maybe you’re not just seeing her as your daughter—you’re projecting onto her whatever you missed out on during your own school years.”
“….”
The moment I heard “whatever you missed out on,” exactly one person flashed through my mind.
Yu Jiyeon. She had been at the start of everything.
If it had been anyone other than Yu Jiyeon, I wouldn’t have given a flying fuck whether my brother became a high-school dad or a middle-school dad.
I would have gone to the autonomous private high school I originally planned for, come home every vacation, played with my cute niece, and lived the ordinary life of an uncle.
But could I really claim I had never once seen Yu Jiyeon when I looked at Harin? Could I swear that the reason I accepted Harin in the first place wasn’t the faint shadow of Yu Jiyeon I glimpsed in her?
“Th-that’s ridiculous! I’ve never once thought of Harin as a substitute for Jiyeon noona. They don’t even look that much alike—”
“Huh? What are you talking about? I meant you were compensating for the normal high-school life you never got by living vicariously through Harin—like one of those ‘kidult’ things that are trendy these days.”
“….”
That was what he meant? Then why give me time to think and make me bring up Yu Jiyeon in the first place?
“Hold on—Jiyeon? What the hell did you just say?”
Of course Aunt was right there. Hearing a story that completely contradicted everything she thought she knew, she grabbed my shoulder in shock.
“Huh? Suddenly Yu Jiyeon? I never said anything like that.”
“What are you talking about? You just said Harin wasn’t a substitute for Jiyeon!”
“I heard the exact same thing. So who’s this Jiyeon?”
“Who else? Harin’s mother!”
“Ah~ that Jiyeon? Then why is this kid suddenly bringing up Harin’s mom?”
With two witnesses present I couldn’t keep lying. More accurately, Aunt had already half-figured it out long ago.
“You… don’t tell me you liked Jiyeon? Is that why the second they ran off with Harin you applied to some random school?”
“Uh… it wasn’t only for that reason…”
“Are you out of your mind?! You put your sister through hell and skipped Mingu’s funeral—all over one girl?”
“I really was in Buenos Aires for the funeral—”
“Get out! Get the hell out of here, you little shit!!!”
Aunt went berserk, screaming that this was the ultimate betrayal. Using Uncle as a human cushion, I barely survived the endless beating and managed to escape the restaurant.
Looks like I wouldn’t be able to visit Aunt for a while.
I spent the afternoon in a foul mood. All I had wanted was one trip to the amusement park with my daughter, yet I had lost way too much in a single week.
First I had freshly realized just how uncomfortable Harin felt around me. On top of that Chaewon now saw me as a lunatic who drank and carpooled. And now Aunt knew about my history with Yu Jiyeon—who knew when I would be allowed back.
Did I really have to go watch a movie with Eunju while feeling this miserable?
“Did you wait long?”
Eunju appeared, completely oblivious to my mood. I forced a smile and turned around like nothing was wrong.
“Nah. I just got here too.”
“Your face doesn’t look great. You weren’t actually here way earlier and starting to get annoyed, were you?”
“The appointment time hasn’t even come yet—why would I be annoyed? Anyway, you look different today.”
A nearly primary-red T-shirt under a light jacket, wide-leg jeans underneath—pure high-school-girl energy. Completely different from the mature look she had forced on Saturday.
“You didn’t seem to like it when I wore skirts, so I dressed comfortable. Is it because my legs aren’t that pretty?”
“What are you— I just said it looked too short back then. And they are ab-so-lute-ly pretty.”
“But compared to girls like Jang Wonyoung or Ahn Yujin, aren’t my thighs long and chunky?”
“Jang Wonyoung and Ahn Yujin… I don’t know who those are, so I have no idea how to answer.”
“You’re lying, right? How can you not know IVE? Even my dad knows them.”
“Huh? Is that so? Then I guess I should study up a little.”
Apparently this IVE group was absolute royalty among high-school girls. No wonder Harin felt a generation gap when her so-called dad didn’t even know that much.
“No! You don’t have to force yourself to study. I don’t want to never be able to wear a skirt in front of you for the rest of my life…”
“….”
And there she went with another weird line. “The rest of my life”? Weren’t we only supposed to eat together twice more and then never see each other again?
“Ah… bus is here.”
The bus arrived in the middle of that. Eunju hopped on with little bouncy steps like a duck out for a stroll.
Maybe it was the outfit that emphasized her cheerfulness, but even the always-serious girl was, in the end, just an ordinary high-school student.
So I still had no idea how pretty Jang Wonyoung or Ahn Yujin were, but no matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn’t imagine them being as cute as you right now.