The Other Side (4)
The meal with Runyang ended without incident. The path back to the hospital was pitch dark. The sun had set, and the only lights illuminating the streets were the glow of streetlamps and moonlight. Yet it felt familiar, because I had always walked this road with Claire. Even on the worst days, when I headed toward Rienie Park with excited steps. Even on the day we shared our first meal outside together. Even now, walking side by side with Runyang, Claire’s face rose in my mind unbidden. The shop we’d visited before had to be somewhere around here….
When I turned my head, I spotted a sign hanging by the entrance. But before I could read the words, Runyang stepped directly into my line of sight. We had been chatting as we walked; my sudden silence must have worried her. She probably thought I was hurting again.
“...Just thinking about this and that.”
“...It’s Claire, isn’t it?”
“...Yeah.”
When I admitted it, Runyang’s expression clouded for a brief moment. Then she forced an awkward smile back onto her face. She had told me it was a mistake and that I should forget every word she’d said that night, yet here she was again, smiling the same strained way. That was how I knew the smile wasn’t real.
I gave a short laugh and took her hand as we kept walking. I was curious about the sign, but it was probably just one of those “open” or “closed” markers. There was no need to check.
“Right now I like my big sis better, okay? Don’t get upset.”
“...Who said I was upset?”
“Your ears were twitching.”
“...Even if Claire slipped up, she still got you hurt. That’s all it is. I don’t hate her.”
I knew she was lying, but I didn’t press. We walked from the bright circle of a streetlamp into the waiting dark.
When we reached the hospital, people kept glancing our way. Runyang must have assumed it was because of her ears; her face flushed slightly as she told me she’d head up first and disappeared toward the room. Warm light spilled through the glass entrance doors and every window, but I didn’t go straight inside.
...Claire.
I wondered if she might have come with Heste, so I circled the hospital slowly. Family members visiting patients and a few healers and apprentices sent sidelong looks my way. At first I thought I was imagining it, but I was wrong. It felt unpleasant even to someone as ordinary as me; the thought that Claire had lived under stares like these her entire life made my chest ache.
Still, I waited outside until the flow of people stopped completely before returning to the room. Contradictory as it was, I wanted to see her. Hoping without meaning to, I pushed the door open, but Claire wasn’t there either.
“Claire wasn’t here, was she?” Runyang asked, as if she could read my heart.
I had left the room to give myself time to think, even though I knew Claire might show up. Waiting outside like that left me a little ashamed.
“...No.”
“You like her that much?”
“...It’s embarrassing, but yeah.”
Runyang stared at me blankly, then stepped closer. She wrapped me in a light hug and smiled. The suddenness startled me, but before I could push her away she had already stepped back. Once again that awkward smile curved her lips.
“...Listen, Reyan. It might be hard right now, but if you become a high-ranking adventurer like me or get good grades at the academy, you’ll find a way to leave the empire. All the talented people from other countries were killed by the empire, and all the empire’s talent was wiped out by the Artifare family.”
“...What are you saying?”
“...Whether it’s the allied nations or some small kingdom, go into exile.”
“...What?”
Runyang’s ears twitched again, but this time the movement was painfully slow.
“...No matter how much you love Claire, you can’t shield her from every stare that follows the two of you. Right, Reyan?”
She took my hand, guided me to the bed, and sat me down. Then she settled beside me and stroked my hand in quiet comfort. Moonlight slipped through the gap in the curtains, glowing softly on her silver hair, yet somehow the sight looked lonely.
“...The fact that the Artifares drenched the empire in blood will never change. Here, imperial citizens are the best and beastkin like us are the worst… so Artifare is sin. That’s what people’s eyes say. The only one connected to that family who survived is Claire, and even she only lived because the emperor ordered it. If you stay in the empire, trouble will come. You might even die one day…”
I already knew exile was the best choice. But if we fled to the allied nations, Claire would… Besides, until she fully awakened her black mana, no country would accept an Artifare. Granting her exile would be the same as declaring opposition to the empire.
Runyang seemed to understand that too. She smiled and gently ruffled my hair.
“...I can secretly send one person to another country. Our guild takes mercenary jobs abroad… You can just wear a hood to hide your face. There are countless people without identities. You won’t be able to use Claire’s name or the Artifare name, but…”
“What if we get caught…”
“If I’m deported, you can just take me in.”
She was still smiling like it was a joke, but I saw the tremble in her eyes.
“...Still, it’s better than watching you live in danger here.”
Noticing my gaze, Runyang shrugged and gave my back a playful pat, that joking smile still fixed in place.
“Still, if you’re going to feed Claire, you’ll need strength. Get good grades at the academy or become an adventurer. Big sis will help, okay?”
I knew sadness and a trace of lingering regret hid behind that smile. Yet selfish as I was, I couldn’t turn her down. With Runyang’s help, the exile I had thought impossible suddenly felt within reach.
“...You don’t hate Claire?”
“I don’t hate her. Not anymore.”
“...Why?”
Her ears twitched once more.
“You like her. So I’ll like her too.”
Runyang kept smiling—that awkward, sorrowful smile.
...
Heste cradled the wounded Claire tightly in her arms and carried her to a small mansion. It was closer to a villa than a true estate, though still far from tiny.
“...It must have been so hard.”
When Heste opened the villa door, dolls, books, cute ornaments, and paintings filled the space. They weren’t to her own taste, but the Claire who lived in Heste’s memories had loved them, so she had grown to love them too.
“...Th-thank you, Heste.”
Claire showed little reaction to any of it. What mattered was that they were finally alone. A space belonging purely to the two of them, without even the “Reyan” Claire loved so desperately—that fact alone was enough to make Heste’s heart tremble.
She had hugged her too tightly without realizing; Claire let out a small groan as her wounds were pressed.
“...Hng!”
Heste quickly carried her to the soft bed and sat her down. Blood stained her clothes and countless injuries would dirty the sheets, so Claire looked up with flustered eyes, but—
“It’s fine, Claire. Don’t worry about it.”
Heste actually thought that any trace of Claire would only make the moment more precious, so she simply let her sit. After examining her condition from every angle, Heste let out a short sigh. Soon her long, pale fingers moved toward Claire’s soles, stroking the tops and bottoms of her feet in turn.
“H-Heste!”
When Claire cried out in panic, Heste summoned her white mana and healed the wounds on her feet. She glanced at Claire’s face, then offered a self-mocking smile. Her voice was gloomy, her eyes drenched in guilt.
“Claire, you looked like you were hurting. I only wanted to heal you… Why? Do you still hate me that much? Even when I’m doing something for you, am I not allowed? Do you hate me? Enough to look at me with such disgusted eyes?”
It was as if Claire had done something wrong.
“N-no. I’m sorry. It was just… too unfamiliar.”
“...What about Reyan?”
“...When would Reyan ever touch my feet?”
“...Really?”
“...Yes.”
Heste lowered her head. A faint smile touched her lips before she lifted her face again, expression once more sorrowful.
“Understand—it’s for treatment.”
She kept her gaze on Claire as her hand traveled from the soles to the calves, then the thighs. From there it moved to her hands, elbows, shoulders, and finally the nape of her neck, caressing every part of her body in turn. Carefully. Ticklingly.
Claire’s toes curled, her body flinched. Each reaction only seemed to amuse Heste more; her touches grew bolder. Claire couldn’t speak. She believed Heste was healing her wounds. Yet even if her heart had opened, the hands that once gave her trauma could never feel pleasant. As the touches reached more and more forbidden, sensitive places—
“...Ung.”
A fear-soaked moan slipped out.
Only then did Heste snap back to herself and realize Claire was slipping toward trauma again. She forced her regret-filled fingers away and pointed toward the side room.
“Wash up and sleep. You might feel uncomfortable, so I’ll stay in the next room. I left clothes for you in front of the bathroom. Go out and turn right immediately and you’ll find it.”
Claire nodded but never asked Heste to sleep together.
If it had been Reyan, he definitely would have suggested we sleep together…
Irritation and jealousy flared, but Heste simply turned and walked to the adjacent room. She listened to the sound of falling water, the click of the light being turned off. She waited a long time after that, until no sound remained, before rising again.
Her careful footsteps naturally led her to Claire.
Heste sat beside the sleeping girl. She gently brushed the hair from her face and stroked her cheek.
“...See? Why didn’t you listen to me?”
Watching her only friend return after suffering such cruelty was not a pleasant experience. Especially when it had happened while trying to meet “Reyan” instead of her.
I could cherish you best. What happened when we were young was a mistake.
Complaining to a sleeping person was pointless; the current “Heste” knew she wouldn’t be heard. So she hoped Claire would have sweet dreams, gathered a great deal of white mana, and poured it into her body. Then she lay down, pressing herself close against the sleeping girl as if she could merge with her.
Claire unconsciously accepted the embrace and smiled. In a tiny sleep-mumbled voice she whispered, “Reyan… I love you…”
Heste let out a soft chuckle. The Reyan she adored so much was with “Runyang” right now, and Claire was here with her. Even if Claire depended on him for the moment, someday—someday she would become Claire’s only friend again, just like before. She believed it.
“...Claire, this is for you. I’m the only one who can protect you. You are my sanctuary, and I was your nest. Right? Reyan isn’t. He’s kind, but he’s a commoner. He can’t protect you.”
After pouring out every word she had wanted to say, Heste hugged her tightly one last time, slipped from the bed, and walked to her own room. She picked up Claire’s nightclothes left in the hallway and bathroom, lit a candle with magic, and began writing on luxurious paper an invitation to the banquet.
Even if it meant creating a situation where Reyan would push Claire away. Even if it meant becoming a pitiful woman who abandoned “love” for the sake of “friendship.” Yes, even if it was to return to the past.
She needed to grow closer to Reyan.
...Surely, if a little more time passes, it will be like before… happily, ordinarily, with Claire…
Lost in that ecstatic vision, Heste slumped over the desk.
“...Uh, haa…”
Black ink spilled across the desk and dripped onto the floor, drop by drop. The carpet that had once been pure white slowly drank in the darkness. She knew others besides Claire had once comforted her sincerely and seen her as ordinary “Heste”… but right now none of that mattered.
Not as the young lady of the Meliard family. To live as plain “Heste.” To be happy. She needed Claire.
Little by little. Very, very slowly. Heste’s breathing began to grow ragged.