Shattered Illusions
She tumbled weakly to the ground with a heavy thud. She flailed her arms desperately and tried to lunge forward, but her body refused to obey. Somewhere on that delicate frame Reyan would occasionally embrace, a few pebbles from her fall and pitiful shards of glass lying on the road had embedded themselves. She wore no shoes to protect her feet and only the pajamas she usually slept in, so her skin made direct contact with the gravel and glass every time she stumbled.
Even so, no eyes held any sympathy. Their pupils were red, shifting repeatedly from black back to red again. Everyone wandering nearby recognized the sobbing woman who had fallen and scraped herself raw as an Artifare.
Whenever people looked at her, Claire lowered her gaze to the ground and thought of Reyan. Reyan, it hurts. I’m scared. Hold me like you always did. Where are you right now? I was wrong, so please forgive me.
Claire’s bare feet were covered in wounds. Blood droplets from the scratches spread in every direction, evidence of how far she had run. Yet she felt none of the physical pain or torment. Red stains lingered wherever her injured, bare feet in pajamas stepped, but she rose the instant she fell and kept running. She was heading for the hospital, desperately searching for the one person who had made her forget fear and terror.
“...Ah, Artifare!”
When she reached the hospital’s main entrance, no one looked at her directly. This never happened when she was with Heste, and Reyan had always worked to prevent such things from touching her. Now that she was alone, Claire of the Artifare family—long called the devil of the empire—was met with open wariness.
The hospital door that always stood open slammed shut with a bang.
“I-I have someone to see inside the hospital… j-just for a moment…”
She spoke, but no one spared her a glance. If this had been months ago, before she knew Reyan, she would have simply cried and fled back to her room like a frightened animal. But things were different now. She had to meet Reyan somehow. No—she needed to. Even to survive, she needed him. She wanted to be happy again beneath that gentle touch. She prayed he would save her from this agony.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Claire knocked on the closed door with her frail hand. Her body trembled, breathing was difficult, and waves of dizziness kept making her heart sink, so there was almost no strength in the motion, yet—
“J-just a moment, please… I beg you—”
Thud. Thud. Thud.
She kept striking the front door. When it refused to open, she gripped the handle as if she would force it and shook the door violently.
“Open up—! Ah, p-please…”
At that instant, the door opened as if by a miracle. Leaning against it, Claire lost her balance and pitched forward. What she saw was not Reyan or Runyang, but several healers who worked at the hospital. And then—countless patients and doctors staring down at her with every kind of gaze, as if she were an animal in a zoo. Dozens of eyes were all fixed on Claire.
“...Lady Artifare.”
A few healers stepped forward. They could have helped the fallen girl up, but instead they approached threateningly, as if ordering her to leave on her own. Claire was pushed back naturally. Among them, some who had seen her arrive with Heste the day before stepped out and asked.
“Did Lady Heste come with you?”
Claire shook her head frantically at their question. It was a lie, but it didn’t matter.
“...Where is she?”
“S-she told me to come to the hospital first…”
“Who have you come to see?”
“...R-Reyan. And… Ru—no. The Fairy Tail Guild Master…”
It was a lie that would be exposed in seconds. There was no way the young lady of the Meliard family would send a barefoot girl in pajamas, covered in wounds, alone.
The healers slammed the door shut. Then, in a tone that mocked Claire yet would leave them blameless if Heste ever heard, they spoke quietly.
“...If you’re looking for a commoner named Reyan, he has already left. You may not enter the hospital.”
“...Wh-where did Reyan go…?”
“We wouldn’t know. Other people are afraid. Please leave.”
When the door that had opened so briefly closed again, Claire couldn’t move. A victim mentality burrowed into her mind like a centipede digging through soil, tearing everything apart. Maybe he hates me now. Did Reyan tell them to say he wasn’t here? Or did Runyang truly hate me and do something so I could never come back?
No matter what she imagined, the reality that she could not meet Reyan remained. Still sitting on the ground, Claire wiped at her eyes. Only now did the pain she should have felt from all the falls, collisions, and scrapes pierce her hazy consciousness and become vividly real. With the hope of seeing Reyan gone, the agony she had tried to ignore came flooding in, tormenting her mind.
It hurt. She was scared.
The more it hurt, the more she thought of Reyan. After sitting there a long time, wiping tears while becoming a spectacle for countless onlookers, Claire forced herself to stand and began walking again. She no longer ran as she had on the way to the hospital, but her desperation had not lessened in the slightest.
“Reyan loves me… He must have come out looking for me since I didn’t come to the hospital…”
Step. Step.
As she walked the streets, it felt as though Reyan could be anywhere. The scenery she had passed on the way to Rienie Park, the shabby little shop where he had first taken her for an “outing meal”—they all appeared before her eyes.
But sadly—
Closed Due to Death
The unmanaged, tattered, and frayed sign caught her eye as well. A chill deeper than the one she had felt when driven from the hospital ran down her spine. It feels like the world is cursing me. Seeing memories with Reyan should have warmed her heart. Was the world trying to tell her there were no more memories or happy moments left for her? That even her memories with Reyan were not permitted? That she was doomed to remember only the terrifying things from when the Meliard family had abandoned her?
Claire stared blankly at the sign, then walked on. Using her memories with Reyan as milestones, she staggered forward. By the time the sun began to set and purple twilight started to cloak the tops of the buildings, she reached the lodging. Backlit and appearing entirely black, the broken front door opened beneath her hand.
As if thieves had ransacked the place, the already messy house was covered in black footprints. Reyan was not there either. In one corner, however, remained the wrapping paper from the sandwich Reyan had once brought her—the one she had carefully folded and kept.
Claire looked at the paper that was little better than trash, then moved on again. Her legs hurt. Her head hurt. The fuse of trauma that had been lit upon seeing Bern refused to be extinguished. Maybe Reyan went to the sandwich shop to buy something in case I was hungry? She cradled the flickering candle of hope with both hands so it would not go out.
…He’s here, right?
After Reyan’s daily visits had suddenly stopped, she had already visited once and been chased away. Because of that, she reached the place without much trouble. The glass door came into view, and beyond it the terrace. On the terrace sat a blonde woman and a young man. Moisture blurred her vision.
Claire walked toward the shop as though the stares of others meant nothing. And when she drew a little closer, she heard them.
“So this is what you wanted to try?”
“You only ever bought it for Claire. I got curious too. How good could it be that you came here every single day?”
“If you wanted to try it, you should have said something.”
“You always just took the money and left like I was a stranger. Anyway—here. Say ah~. I’ll feed you. You need to taste it too.”
“No, that’s not really necessary… You don’t have to feed me…”
“Shut up and just eat. You’re still sick, aren’t you? Say ah~.”
“Uh… yeah.”
It was Runyang’s voice and Reyan’s voice. The sight of her cutting the sandwich into bite-sized pieces and feeding it to him.
“Reyan… why…?”
As tears slid down her cheeks, the world suddenly sharpened again. In a corner of the terrace, bathed in the beautiful glow of sunset, sat a lovely cat-beastkin and the person Claire wanted and loved more than anything. They were eating the sandwich that had been a memory just for the two of them—the precious symbol that had marked the beginning of their relationship—laughing and chatting happily.
Why didn’t you come find me? she screamed inside. Why are you having such a fun conversation with Runyang? she asked through sobs. …Didn’t you love me? Is it fine even if it’s someone else?
But the words she never uttered could not reach him.
Claire collapsed powerlessly. She bumped into a nearby trash bin, creating a loud clatter. Yet as if mocking her despair, the two continued their joyful conversation, far beyond the reach of her screams.
“No… there must be some reason.”
Reyan must be worried about her. He must have come out looking for her and was simply resting for a moment. No matter how many times she denied it, blamed her eyes, or told herself she had seen wrong, the scene before her did not change.
They really are enjoying themselves.
That seat beside Reyan should have been hers. The one laughing, chatting, being fed, sharing trivial stories—it should have been her.
Claire covered her ears.
…I hate this, Reyan. Don’t smile at anyone else. Don’t put anyone else before me.
With blood-stained hands she kept wiping her eyes, breathing in harsh, ragged gasps. After ten such sorrowful breaths had passed—
“...I told you, Claire.”
Heste’s voice came from behind. Whether from sadness or because, like her, she had wandered everywhere desperately wanting to see Reyan and ended up falling and getting hurt, the hand Heste placed on her chest looked far too red. They really were in the same position.
“...That we have to wait. For Reyan right now, Runyang is the best choice—not us. I told you…”
“...Reyan is with Runyang, not me. My heart feels so strange.”
Drop. Drop.
A few tears fell onto Heste’s hand. Claire bit her lip, glanced at the distant pair, and whispered softly so they would not hear.
“...I like Reyan so much. I love him.”
Then she turned her head slightly to look at Heste, who was embracing her, and said shortly.
“...So I really, really hate Runyang for being with him. What should I do, Heste?”
Heste gazed at Claire, held her tightly, and gave a meaningful smile.
“...You and me. We’ll make it so only the two of us can stay by Reyan’s side.”
Just like I did. Just like I am doing to you now.
“...Let’s go back first. There’s a place I stay sometimes when I don’t want to return to the mansion. If Reyan sees you hurting like this, he’ll be sad. You don’t want that, do you?”
“B-but… at least a greeting…”
“...Let’s treat those wounds first, wash up properly, get dressed nicely, and then go see him. It’ll only take a few days. I promise. If he sees you like this now, Reyan will be sad. He might even push you away out of guilt, thinking you’re in pain because of him.”
Claire knew how painful it was to watch Reyan with another woman, yet in the end she stared at him as if engraving his image into her eyes and gave a small nod.
“...You know, before the subjugation training there’s a banquet where nobles and promising youths gather. I’ll invite both Reyan and you. Show him the most beautiful version of yourself there so he won’t even spare a glance at someone like Runyang, alright?”