It Must Have Been a Mistake
It must have been a mistake. Beyond the firmly shut door, Claire’s voice drifted through. Behind it came Runyang’s sobs—thick with raw emotion, yet she bit her lip hard, clearly trying not to burden me with her tears.
My head spun. I had definitely collapsed from searing agony and blacked out. So why did waking from that hell mean witnessing the person I trusted most hurting someone precious to me? None of it made sense.
I moved my hand and pinched my cheek, half-hoping it was all a dream. It hurt, but not enough to ground me. Then I pressed against my bandaged torso. The moment I pushed down, a brutal spike of pain slammed through me, confirming this was real.
It was real? Waking at the worst possible moment. Everything I’d overheard at the door… it had all been true?
‘…Claire hurt me on purpose?’
Why? I’d thought we were good friends. No—maybe even on the verge of something more. I cherished her just as deeply as she seemed to cherish me. When I first saw her, I was certain Claire wasn’t a villain at all, just someone shattered by relentless torment.
For a second I forgot how to breathe. My heartbeat thundered in my ears. The shock cut as deep as the feelings I’d poured into her.
When fate forced my eyes open to the chaos outside, I should have squeezed them shut again and willed myself back to sleep. That regret refused to fade.
I had never imagined that spending time with the living, breathing Claire—not the novel’s version—would ever reveal this side of her. My skull throbbed worse than my wounds. Every time her sobs reached me, the venom she’d spat at Runyang echoed louder: calling her a beast. Runyang’s tearful screams—did you really think I wouldn’t know?—that Claire had deliberately hurt me—stabbed into my brain like needles.
No. It can’t be.
I shook my head like a madman. There had to be some reason behind the sudden appearance of the “villain” the novel had described. There had to be. It was stupid, but I couldn’t bear to feel betrayed by her. In my mind Claire was fragile, delicate… the one who had always stood by me.
She was the person who would smile even after eating a sandwich smeared with mud, all for my sake. The memories we’d built together wouldn’t let me accept any betrayal.
Knock—knock—knock. She still hadn’t left. The sound mixed with her crying, striking my eardrums before dropping like lead. The grief and remorse packed into those knocks were painfully obvious.
“…Ah, aah… Reyan, I’m sorry. Please, just open the door. I feel like I’m dying. I’m scared—please don’t throw me away, Reyan, please, Reyan—… It hurts. It hurts so much, Reyan…”
I could almost see her through the door. Were those sobs and regrets for me, or for Runyang, who must have been wounded by the cruel words?
I instinctively started toward her the way I always had, then froze. I swallowed hard and clenched my fist until it shook. I pressed on the wound she had given me, using the fresh pain to burn away the urge to go to her.
I was hurting and sad too, but Runyang was clearly the one in the most pain. I turned away from the door and walked toward her instead.
In the corner of the infirmary where faint moonlight filtered in, Runyang sat on a chair, barely holding herself together. The tear tracks on her face told me everything—the verbal abuse from a girl far younger than her, and the surge of protective emotion she felt for me, the boy she treated like a little brother.
I slipped a hand into my pocket. The handkerchief I always carried was right where it should be. At the washbasin I dampened it with cool water—the one I had kept for Claire’s sake—and returned to Runyang.
The face that usually looked at me with boundless confidence and mischief couldn’t meet my eyes now. Feeling guilty even after being called those horrible things… When she wouldn’t take the handkerchief, I sat across from her and gently wiped her tears myself. My chest burned with every movement, but the shock was so overwhelming the pain barely registered.
“You okay, sis?”
“…I’m sorry.”
“…It’s not your fault. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”
“…Yeah. Guess you’re right.”
Runyang offered a small, sheepish smile through her sorrow, then reached out and took the handkerchief.
“Did you wipe Artifare’s tears like this too?”
“…Sometimes.”
She finished dabbing at the spots I’d missed. Then, as if it were nothing, she asked softly, “Hey, Reyan… how much did you hear?”
“From the part where she screamed that Claire deliberately hurt me.”
“So you heard it all.”
“Yeah.”
Runyang didn’t look surprised, didn’t try to hide it or deny it. She simply stared at me, biting her lip.
“…Is it all true?” I asked.
I knew the question might drag her back to what had happened only minutes ago, but selfishly I pressed anyway.
“…”
She said nothing, only looked at me. I knew silence could be an answer, but I shook my head again.
“It’s just… I was in pain. Enough to collapse and pass out.”
Without thinking I touched my forehead. It was slick with sweat.
“My bones were broken, my flesh torn open—they must have given me medicine, made me swallow something, right? When I woke up I felt dizzy at first. But something was off. The pain was gone, like the wounds had healed completely. At least for a little while.”
“…Reyan.”
“Just answer me.”
“What exactly do you want to know…?”
“That Claire hurt me on purpose. That she called you a filthy cat-beastkin. I misheard it, didn’t I?”
Runyang didn’t look away. “You already know the answer, Reyan.”
“Claire has no reason to hurt me. There must have been some—”
“There wasn’t!” Her voice cracked. “You were lying there like a corpse and Artifare walked out completely fine. Her eyes were a little swollen, that’s all. She acted like nothing had happened…”
She took my hand the way one might comfort a child.
“When you first barged into the guild. When you suddenly ran off saying you wanted to attend the academy. Even when you came back after five years and rumors spread that you were seeing a girlfriend—you were still our youngest, my precious little brother.”
Why was she holding my hand? The stray thought vanished when I glanced down and saw my own fingers trembling like leaves in a storm.
“I know how you feel about Claire. I do. But she’s an Artifare. She’s not the Claire you think she is!”
“Sis…”
“Do you know how many imperial citizens the Artifare family has killed? How many houses they’ve wiped from existence? How many royals they’ve beheaded and put on display? That family reeks of blood…”
Runyang pulled me into a gentle embrace and patted my back.
“She hurt you for no reason. She’ll do it again. Even if there was a reason, your bones were broken. It could have been so much worse. Is that how you treat someone you care about? Maybe she was only pretending to be kind so she could use you…”
From her perspective the words made sense. To me they felt like nothing but noise. The way she had slept so peacefully in my arms—was that a lie? The way she had sobbed and begged me not to abandon her—was that fake? I couldn’t accept that every side of Claire I had seen was false. No matter how many times I turned it over, the answer stayed the same.
“…I need time to think.”
There had to be a reason that could explain all of this. I wanted the trembling in my hands to stop every time her name crossed my mind.
But was there really such a reason? A hollow laugh slipped out. I had tried to deny it, but deep down I already knew the truth: there was no valid reason for Claire to have hurt me.
“…Reyan.”
Runyang looked at me, then pressed a hand to her own chest. She took back the handkerchief and gently wiped my eyes. For a second I thought I could smell Claire’s faint scent on it.
My vision swam. Nothing drops your heart into freefall like being betrayed by the person you trusted most.
I caught Runyang’s hand and took the handkerchief from her. Looking at it only brought Claire to mind. Right now, I needed it out of my sight if I wanted any chance of calming down.
I walked to the window and shoved it open. The cold night air stung my cheeks and whipped my hair. I held the handkerchief out into the darkness.
…
I couldn’t let go. It should have been easy—just open my fingers—but I couldn’t. Even though I knew there was no reason, some vague hope that there must be one refused to die. My hand shook. A drop of sweat slid down my cheek.
In that moment of hesitation Runyang came to my side. With a sad, awkward little smile she said, “Maybe, unlike you, she really did see me as nothing but a lowly beastkin and a wicked imperial. It’s true she hurt you. It’s true the reason is unclear… but when you showed up, Artifare—no, Claire—her sadness was real.”
She gently nudged me aside, neatly folded the handkerchief, and placed it back in my palm.
“It must have been a mistake. Forget everything I said, Reyan.”
Silence fell.