Shattered Promises
Unease. (2)
It was inevitable that I would be thrown into confusion. Even though we had made a promise on the rooftop, that didn't mean she could just show up like this out of nowhere. The plan had been for Heste to step in first so that Claire wouldn't be tormented any further. Then I would ask if I could meet with Heste while staying by Claire's side, and only after receiving Claire's permission would we arrange to meet. That's what we had agreed on.
No, the fact that Heste had appeared the very next day was just as sudden for me as it was for Claire. It was something to worry about. Yesterday, Claire had been in such agony just from knowing I had been with Heste. And now, suddenly, the three of us were supposed to form a party and head out for a subjugation mission?
Ever since the incident with the duke, we had been careful not to act like close friends in front of others. We tried not to show any sign of our special relationship, but the eyes of the academy were already fixed on Claire.
Claire looked strangely calm. But I knew that wasn't real composure—it was only an act. That knowledge made fury rise within me. The hardest thing in life is being unable to say that something hurts when it hurts, or that something is difficult when it is difficult.
Even if she didn't show it outwardly, Claire almost always met my eyes... but now she was staring straight ahead, as if refusing to look at Heste at all. I could see her hands trembling violently on her lap. Her anxiety was visible to the naked eye.
Because of that, a sharp tone slipped out toward Heste, who sat right beside me, staring at Claire with the same intensity.
“...What the hell is this? Didn't we make a promise yesterday?”
It was a question about why she had broken that promise. Had her claim of wanting to protect Claire been nothing more than a way to ease her own guilt?
“Duke Ephedrine...”
Heste opened and closed her mouth, then glanced briefly at Claire before making a sorrowful expression. Soon after, as if having made some decision, she smiled faintly and changed the subject.
“...It's for our sake. I'll tell you about it later, when we're alone.”
That single phrase drew every eye in the room. From the trash who constantly insulted Claire for no reason, to the professors who had shielded them. They must have latched onto the words alone. In noble society, suggesting a private meeting between two people carried all sorts of implications.
Perhaps some were already imagining one of those filthy rumors—that Heste, who had approached a commoner with no connections, was trying to buy a “pretty male prostitute.” Or maybe they thought we were lovers. Of course, considering Heste's reputation and her position as a beloved member of the Meliard family, such speculation was highly unlikely.
“...Understood.”
I was about to force myself to accept it and move on when—
“...Reyan.”
Claire called my name. It was unusual, at least lately. She had been so afraid I might get hurt that she barely spoke to me beyond greetings.
“...Claire?”
She slid a little closer along the long desk and took my hand, pressing it against her forehead. It was burning hot and damp with sweat. Her breathing was ragged.
“I... I think I have a fever. I'm dizzy. I can't breathe...”
She spoke while looking at me, but I could easily tell that the edge of her gaze held Heste. Even if she pretended to be calm, seeing the person who had left her with trauma right in front of her must have triggered something. If she ended up having a seizure or convulsions like Heste had mentioned, it would tear my heart apart.
Of course, I knew her current state wasn't as severe as it had been on the rooftop. Maybe she wasn't even truly sick right now. Still, there was no need to take risks and leave Claire trembling in fear.
“Lean on me.”
I thought about raising my hand to speak with the professor but decided against it. It would only earn me more dirty looks. I grabbed Claire's arm and immediately left the classroom.
The academy's classes were quite flexible, so there were many people in the hallways.
“...So the rumors were true?”
“Disgusting. A male whore sucking up to her like that.”
“I don't get how someone who fights so well could be so obsessed with an Artifare. Did he knock her up or something?”
No matter how many times I heard people mocking and spewing vile words at someone clearly in pain, I could never get used to it. I had thought Heste's sudden appearance was incredibly rude, but—
Clatter—!
“Lady Heste?”
“...Why is she here?”
“Did something happen?”
The fact that the disgusting comments stopped the moment she followed us was something to be grateful for.
“...Reyan and Claire are my friends. How dare you insult my friends in front of me and then casually call my name like we're close?”
“Lady Heste?”
“You have no right to call me Heste. I am only the heir to the Meliard family. So stop flapping those vulgar tongues. Who knows? The perfect young lady everyone calls kind and flawless might just take out all her hidden stress on your families.”
“...Ah, um... th-that's...”
“If you understand, then shut your mouths and get out of the way. You're making Reyan and Claire uncomfortable.”
Moreover, no matter how hard we tried, she had silenced the pouring criticism and baseless rumors. She had proven her usefulness. Surely the others thought there must be a reason the Meliard family's young lady would call us—labeled witch and male whore—her friends and become so enraged on our behalf.
Thankfully, we heard no more insults or accusations. Even as we left the hallway and headed toward the academy's infirmary for Claire, it stayed that way.
...
Heste had said she was Reyan and Claire's friend, but in reality she walked about ten steps behind them. It was simply because she was worried about Claire. When Claire was among nobles rather than commoners, there was nothing she could do to help.
Even if she was called the next head of the Meliard family—one of the ducal houses—it was impossible to control noble children through pressure without justification. Wielding power without reason was no different from tyranny.
That was why she had tried to become Claire's friend like Reyan had, to protect her. But every time, Claire would cry and scratch at her own body with a blade she had gotten from somewhere in a secluded corner. She would scream that she would rather die than see her again, that if Heste truly thought of her as a friend, she should just disappear from her sight.
But now it was different. Since they had become party members for the subjugation practice, taking care of her party was her responsibility. She had justification.
Through Reyan, she had clearly seen Claire gradually learning happiness instead of only misery. No seizures. No convulsions.
...There might still be hope.
There was a reason she had come despite their promise. Because Claire cared so terribly for Reyan, if she told her about what Duke Ephedrine had planned and they talked about it together...
Maybe she'll talk to me too... like she used to...
Maybe she would become her only sanctuary again.
Step. Step. Step, step, stepstepstepstep.
Heste began walking faster and faster. At some point, she broke into a light run. Carefully, she reached out and placed her hand on Reyan's shoulder as he walked ahead.
He stopped. The moment he turned around, she spoke.
“...If I'm not there, the infirmary won't accept her.”
Claire wouldn't look at her. Reyan didn't respond either. His gaze held only Claire. In turn, Claire's gaze held only Reyan.
“...C-Claire. I won't appear in your sight. So please, don't mind me. I'm a bad bitch anyway. I'll just secure you a room at the infirmary. Until then... just... together...”
The moment Heste spoke with such desperation, Claire covered her ears. And then—
“Please, stop, s-stop iiiiit—!”
She screamed and collapsed. She couldn't even swallow her saliva. Her vision blurred until dizziness overwhelmed her. The ground rose up and the sky came crashing down.
When Heste saw Claire's reaction, she unconsciously stepped backward. This was the Claire she had seen among the nobles. What was she supposed to do in a situation like this? Soon Claire would tell her to disappear from her sight. She would hurt herself, saying she was going crazy.
Unable to watch, Heste squeezed her eyes shut, but no more screams came. When she cautiously opened them again, she saw Reyan gently embracing Claire.
As the young lady of a ducal house, Heste had possessed everything. If there was one thing she didn't have—or rather, had once possessed but let slip through her own fingers, never to hold again—it was this.
It was Claire. The only person who had looked at Heste—the one everyone saw as a kind and perfect young lady—and accepted her clumsy, ordinary self with a smile when everyone else demanded perfection from the Meliard family's Heste.
Heste felt something strange stir inside her. She had known it would come to this. She had thought it would be difficult since this was an attempt to mend their relationship, yet still...
“Reyan, it hurts. Help me, hold me...”
“Calm down. Breathe. Yeah? I'm right here beside you.”
She was my friend first. I was her only one.
So why does she push me away so violently when I approach, yet open her body and heart so easily to Reyan?
Watching Claire calm down in Reyan's arms, Heste felt her chest tighten. It was true she had made a mistake. It was true she had betrayed her that day. It was true she hadn't actively stopped the nobles from tormenting her...
But selfishly, Heste thought she should be the one in Reyan's place. The moment that thought crossed her mind, guilt, pity, and sorrow instantly twisted into jealousy. Overcome by that sudden jealousy, she made a mistake.
“...Reyan, you might die during the subjugation practice.”
That Duke Ephedrine had demanded something from the dean through his connection with the eastern guild for this subjugation practice. That because Claire had dared to speak rudely to a duke despite being a commoner, they had specially assigned Reyan a monster that could kill him. It was something that should have been said between just the two of them so Claire wouldn't be hurt.
Yet without realizing it, she had spoken of Reyan right in front of her.
...Claire?
It was nothing more than a mutter no one should have heard properly, but strangely, Claire's gaze—for the first time—met Heste's eyes.
...Finally!
Heste desperately needed Reyan. She had only muttered something related to him, yet she had finally received the gaze from Claire that months of effort had failed to earn.
On the other hand, Claire felt unease. She hadn't heard everything, but she had clearly caught the word “Reyan” leaving Heste's lips. Considering what she had said in the classroom and the handkerchief she had given him on the rooftop...
She began to think that Heste might also have fallen for Reyan—the man she couldn't help but love.
“Claire, are you okay? Claire!”
Reyan, looking at the dazed Claire who had been crying, panicked and lifted her up in his arms. When Heste tried to follow, he shouted.
“Please, just stop already! This isn't what we promised!”
Now that he had driven Heste away, the anxiety should have disappeared. But Claire couldn't smile.