Chapter 25
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 25
Chapter Title: Holy Piss
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Holy Piss
Somehow, there was no way someone who chose a vulgar nickname like Holy Piss could really be the Saintess!
No way was there going to be some development where they cried out, This vulgar sweet monster bastard! What did you do to our Saintess?!
To begin with, it was ridiculous that the Hunter Gallery account could have been stolen. More importantly, the Saintess had been active under the Holy Piss nickname for years now, proving her identity multiple times.
"Phew... So that means."
The positions of the Holy Kingdom and the Saintess were different.
Reaching that conclusion resolved all the questions that had arisen from his conversation with Holy Piss just moments ago.
No matter how expensive it was for a D-Grade item, 5 billion wouldn't burden an S-Rank Awakener.
Now it made sense: it was a situation where she could only buy it with money she could secretly use, despite the Holy Kingdom's opposition.
He couldn't miss this opportunity.
[Saintess, are you perhaps buying my staff in secret?]
[Ah, how did you know...]
As expected, she'd been waiting for his messages while he pondered, and a reply came right away.
[I don't know the details, but the Gallery's in an uproar because the Holy Kingdom Guild issued an official statement.]
He'd have to check later exactly what they said—why they had no interest in his staff or intent to buy it.
For now, priority was selling the staff.
[Yeah... In that situation, would dealing with me be too much trouble?]
The buyer felt guilty and like she was imposing.
There was no better situation for sweet-talking her.
[I'm a secret deal expert. Just follow what I tell you, and I can make this transaction happen cleanly and discreetly.]
No need to match the Saintess's refined vibe in a situation like this.
[Yes...! If it's really possible! I'll trust you, Boastful Blacksmith, the miracle-maker!]
He wanted to wrap it up with something like Cool trade, let's go, but that might scare off their noble Saintess. Better to register her as a regular customer first.
...
"Argh... What is she even thinking."
He knew he shouldn't rush her with impatient messages, but it was just one button press to accept—why no response?
Saintess, this is getting really weird...
[Hunter Gallery user 'Holy Piss' has been registered as a regular customer!]
"Phew..."
Thankfully, he hadn't sent any pathetic nagging messages.
[Regular Customer Service]
Immediately after, he connected forced telepathy to the Saintess.
"Hmm... I'd like this staff to be a bit thicker..."
"Pfft!!"
"What! ...... What was that? Is someone there?"
"Ah, hello. This is Boastful Blacksmith. I'm not actually there with you; we're talking through my ability, Saintess."
"Ah... Ahem. I see."
"Did it connect right when you cleared your throat?"
"...Yes, that's right. Saintess."
...
"I see. What an interesting ability..."
"Haha... Yeah..."
"For your information, I don't want my precious equipment to break. So I prefer them thicker and sturdier, if possible."
"Yes? Ah, yes..."
"These days, durability is evaluated just as importantly as performance."
"O... Oh, you're absolutely right. Since you're such a busy person, Saintess, how about we start discussing the contract now?"
"...Sure."
He'd decided to assume from the start that it was about equipment durability. But when she explained it like an excuse, it actually made him doubt her more...
The Saintess apparently didn't believe him about connecting at the cough either.
Or maybe she wasn't fully suspicious, but was casually explaining her equipment preferences to him, a blacksmith, while also clearing up any potential misunderstandings.
Without dragging it out, he sent her the standard contract he'd used with Chae Yeonhwa earlier, just adjusting the amount.
"This is..."
...
She was reading through the contract carefully.
The sudden silence made things a bit awkward, so he racked his brain for something else to mention—and thought of one.
"By the way, Saintess?"
"Yes?"
"You know the item I'm selling right now is the Light Staff, correct?"
"Yes~ I know."
"It doesn't change the performance, but I can add a modifier to the equipment name. For example... Holy Light Staff. Something like that. Want me to do it?"
The proposal that Chae Yeonhwa had shot down hard.
Truth be told, he liked the feature so much he'd considered making it mandatory for regular customers.
"...Sure."
"As expected... Really?"
"Yes, you can add whatever I want, right?"
"Of course~ Just say the word."
The Saintess accepted surprisingly readily.
She even seemed to already have a name in mind.
"Moonlight."
"Moonlight?"
"No~ Moonlight."
"Ah... So it'd be Moonlight Light Staff... Is that okay?"
"You can't remove the Light Staff part, right~?"
"No. Unfortunately not."
"Then just do that~"
Moonlight Light Staff.
He had no idea what that meant, but if the customer wanted it, he'd do it.
While she finished reading the contract, he quickly engraved the name. Perfect timing—she was done.
"I'll sign."
"Good choice~"
His contracts were harmless unless someone had bad intentions.
And the Saintess surely didn't.
[Deal with buyer 'Holy Piss' completed! Contract terms must be fulfilled; cancellation possible only by mutual agreement.]
"Impressive..."
With the contract, the Moonlight(?) Light Staff vanished from his inventory and arrived with the Saintess.
She seemed more amazed by his ability than happy about the item.
"Saintess, you have to keep this a secret. If you do, next time I make an even better light-based staff, you'll be first on my list."
"Of course. You know I can't brag about this anywhere~"
Was she more constrained by the Holy Kingdom than he'd thought?
He didn't know the details, but she wasn't buying the staff out of some sinful desire... Why were they opposing it?
"Oh, Boastful Blacksmith? Could you do that name engraving on other items too?"
"Is there something of yours you'd like engraved, Saintess?"
"Yes."
"Sadly, I can send you equipment, but I can't retrieve items from your side. Next chance I get, I'll do it for you."
"Ah... That's too bad."
He was tempted to summon her to his place right then as an excuse, but that would cause a huge mess.
Suddenly appearing from Italy to his house would be a problem to return from, and if word got out the Saintess had vanished, it'd become a kidnapping case.
Regrettable, but their deal was done for now.
"If a better miracle comes along next time, I'll contact you."
"Hehe... I'll message you sometimes too."
"...Then I'll be going."
After successfully wrapping up the deal with the Saintess, he headed straight to the Gallery to check that official statement from the Holy Kingdom.
"Hmm... There it is."
—
[Holy Kingdom Guild Official Statement on D-Grade Light Staff]
Author: Protect the Saintess
Regarding the so-called D-Grade Light Staff that has recently appeared, our Holy Kingdom has confirmed that it does not qualify as a true holy relic.
We regard this object as a vulgar tool devoid of religious value and doctrinal authority, and declare that its existence and value are meaningless to us.
We reaffirm that our sacred traditions and order cannot be shaken by any external object.
-Praying that the will of heaven be done...
-Praying that glory be with the Saintess forever, amen...
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
They're always like this ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I know, but;; even so, if a D-Grade shows up while they're using E-Grade trash, they should buy it right away;; It's not even that expensive for D-Grade
Don't try to understand the Holy Kingdom with common sense ㅇㅇ
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
If they went so far as to issue an official statement like this, it means they got super triggered ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
—
The content... He honestly couldn't make sense of it at all.
'The Saintess is so pitiful...'
Secretly buying his staff was probably the only proof she was the normal one among them.
Was choosing the Holy Piss nickname her own form of rebellion?
Of course, it could just be a mistake... But from talking to her today, she didn't seem like someone who'd make that mistake—or fail to change it even if she did.
"Tch..."
It was pitiful and regrettable, but there was nothing he could do.
For now, he'd just secretly contact her with better staffs in the future.
Of course, at full price.
Anyway, a ton had happened in just one day.
He'd made two S-Rank Awakeners regular customers and closed deals successfully.
In between, an A-Grade crafting had gone through—all failures, as expected.
He hadn't expected success on the first try, but it was still disappointing.
With nothing much to do for a while anyway, next time he'd turn off the macro and do it manually.
As he melted time away repeating computer games and Gallery browsing...
His phone rang with a number he knew all too well—but one that made no sense calling now.
Vrrr—
—
Kwon Yena
—
"What? Did she escape or something???"
His mind racing with unease, he dropped his game and hurriedly answered the call.