Revenge. Crazy Bitches Need Crazy Bastards.
I shot my hand up and locked onto the short-haired bitch's wrist.
"Hey, let go. You gonna let go or what? This is assault. Assaulting a defenseless woman. You're going to prison."
Prison? Go ahead and try, you fucking bitch.
I lifted my foot and kicked her ankle out from under her.
She crumpled to her knees on the spot, face twisting in pain.
"You fucking bastard! I am definitely sending you to prison!"
I tightened my grip on her arm and twisted.
A sickening crack.
"Ah—aaaaah! Fuck! Hey, you son of a bitch—my wrist! It's gonna break! It's breaking!"
The crazy bitch screamed her lungs out. Dongcheol and Seonghyeon stared at me with wide, stunned eyes.
Can't stop here. Gotta pay her back in full or it won't feel right.
I raised my hand and smashed it down on the back of her head.
THWACK!!!
"Ah... ah... uugh..."
Does it hurt? Of course it does. I hit her hard as hell. Still not enough, though.
I raised my hand again and cracked her skull even harder.
SMACK!
"It hurts... hhhk... j-just talk. Fuck... l-let's talk this out..."
"Did you talk? You fucking bitch? Talk? Eat shit. A piece of trash like you only understands a beating, you dog."
I wound up and hammered her head with everything I had.
CRACK!!!!!
The sound rang out clean and sharp.
"Hhk... hhhk... hhhhk..."
Tears poured down the short-haired bitch's face like a waterfall.
"Hey. Get up."
I grabbed her wrist and hauled her to her feet. All the fight had gone out of her. She kept her eyes on the floor, couldn't even look at me straight. Must've been one hell of a shock. She'd only ever been the one doing the hitting—probably never taken a hit herself.
But still. Not enough. You fucking bitch.
I raised my hand and slapped her across the face properly.
SLAP!
Her friends were too scared to intervene. Her cheek was already swelling red. I grabbed her by the hair, shook her head, and spoke.
"Hey. Hey! When you hit someone, you better be ready to get hit back. Got it? You dog of a bitch. When you treat people like suckers, you better be ready to get your ass handed to you and end up the sucker yourself. You fucking bitch. Hurts when you get hit, doesn't it? The people you jumped from behind and robbed? They got hurt a hundred times worse than what you're feeling right now. You filthy whore. Get on your knees and apologize to my hyungs. Right now. You fucking bitch. Before I beat the shit out of you some more."
Trembling with terror, the short-haired bitch dropped to her knees in front of them.
"I-I'm sorry. Hhk... hhhk. I-I was wrong... hhhk..."
No match for a good thrashing. She'd turned into a meek little lamb, begging for forgiveness. For now, at least—she was still in shock, and everything that got hit still hurt, so she was being obedient.
"Get lost, you bitch. Don't let me see your face again. If I do, I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life."
Propped up by her friends, the short-haired bitch and her crew scrambled out of the bar.
"Hey, Yu Sihyun. What the hell are you thinking? You're gonna end up in prison for real!"
Seonghyeon said it out of genuine worry.
"Yeah, you slippery bastard. Felt damn good watching that, but what if they come back with the cops? Ah, seriously. This crazy little shit. You really did it this time. You really did."
And sure enough, just as the hyungs feared, it wasn't long before the short-haired bitch and her crew came back. Too scared to get close, they hung back at a distance and started yelling.
"Hey, you uncultured son of a bitch! I already called the police! You're fucked now! A piece of shit like you needs to rot in a cell before you learn to be scared of women! Isn't that right, ladies?"
The reason the short-haired bitch had the guts to come back at all, I realized, was that most of the customers at Bar 2580 tonight were women. Earlier it had all happened too fast for anyone to react—but if women stuck together, men were screwed. That was basic feminist theory. Collude with your fellow women and even real crimes disappear.
But contrary to what the short-haired crew hoped, the reaction around them was ice-cold.
Because this wasn't the feminist-ruled shithole of a Korea they knew.
This was gender-reversed South Korea.
"What the hell are these crazy bitches saying?!"
"It's trash like you that left this country with no men! You fucking bitches!"
"You dead-eyed pieces of shit! You fucking bitch—you dare point fingers at a man and talk back?! Want your unnie to beat the hell out of you properly? Your unnie did a little jujitsu. Think carefully before you throw down, bitch."
"Bitches like you need to get beaten with a dildo! You fucking bitches! If it weren't for feminist trash like you, I'd have a handsome cock next to me right now instead of a dildo!"
The hostility toward feminists ran even deeper than I'd expected. They looked ready to beat them to death on the spot.
Flustered, the short-haired bitch shouted with a face gone bright red.
"Why are you doing this to your fellow women?! Women should help women! You all saw that uncultured man beating me one-sidedly just now!"
Three tall, well-built women stepped forward, shielding me and the hyungs, and laid into the short-haired bitch.
"What? You fucking bitch? Fellow women? You dog of a bitch—what kind of bullshit is that? You did something that deserved getting the absolute shit beaten out of you by these gentlemen. Did you crawl out of the feminist eighties or something? You wanna get hit here, or dragged off and get hit? I'll smash your mouth shut with a hammer so you can't pull this crap ever again."
The short-haired crew shook like leaves.
"U-Unnies, why are you doing this... let's talk, okay? Please..."
"Why so scared all of a sudden? You fucking bitches. You act so tough against weak men, but the second you meet unnies stronger than you, you piss yourselves? You fucking bitch. Did you wet your panties? Reeks of piss. Today I'm gonna make you shit blood, so go get ready for diapers for the rest of your life, you little brats."
Hah. Even I didn't expect the women to come out this hard.
One of the well-built women turned and comforted me and the hyungs.
"Aigoo, you must've been so startled. God, look at those bitches—picking on such lovely gentlemen. My little sister will take care of them properly, so why don't you join us for a bottle of premium whiskey? Three-on-three, nice and light. We'll treat you to the absolute best!"
"Ah—no, you really don't have to go that far..."
Dongcheol hyung flinched a little, intimidated by the sheer physical presence of the woman protecting us. At a glance, these tattooed muscle women looked like they could handle three-on-five-hundred without breaking a sweat.
"Hey, kid. What are you doing? Our lovely gentlemen are uncomfortable. Drag those bitches out and bury them already. Do I have to do it myself?"
Hah—if this goes wrong, we're the ones in danger. Get drunk and get assaulted. These women look like yakuza aunties.
"Responding to a report!"
Thankfully, the police someone had called arrived just in time. The short-haired crew lit up with relief the moment they saw the officers.
"Ah! We're saved. Fuck, I was so scared. Officer unnies—those bastards beat us up and threatened us!"
"What did you just say? You fucking bitch. You threatening our lovely gentlemen right now?"
The muscular woman glared daggers, and the short-haired bitch dropped her eyes and hung her head. Classic—weak against the strong, strong against the weak. A pure piece of trash.
"Alright, alright, everyone calm down. Let's all come along for now."
The short-haired bitch sidled up to the female officers with a sweet, familiar tone.
"Unnie, cuff those bastards. They're the worst kind—the kind that harasses women."
The female officer stared at her like she'd grown a second head.
"What are you talking about. Hey! Cuff these bitches right now. Caught in the act. You dare pick a fight with gentlemen? Think the world's that easy? The world's that easy, huh. Crazy bitches like this—first time I've seen them in five years on the force."
"U-Unnie! That's not—those bastards started it—"
"Unnie, my ass. You fucking bitch. I was trying not to swear because I'm a cop, but you're pissing me off for real. What kind of disrespect is this toward these gentlemen?! Shut your mouth and get in the car. You're all under arrest for a crime in progress."
"U-Unnieee!!!!"
All three of the short-haired crew were cuffed and loaded into the police car.
"Gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry, but would you mind accompanying us as well? Just a few simple things to confirm. Aigoo, taking up the precious time of gentlemen like yourselves—I truly apologize."
The female officer's voice was awkward, like she hadn't met many men before.
"Ah, of course. Absolutely. After all the help you've given us."
Dongcheol hyung followed the officer with pure excitement.
"Hey, Sihyun. What the hell just happened? I'm still completely lost."
"Seonghyeon hyung, this isn't the feminist-infested shithole of a Korea. This is South Korea. You'll get used to this heaven soon enough."
The extreme hospitality continued at the police station.
"Aigoo, gentlemen coming all the way to a shabby place like this. And three of you, no less. Have you all gotten married? Oh, it's nothing else—my daughter's a real beauty, graduated from a top university in America. I was wondering if we might arrange a formal introduction sometime. My mother keeps saying she could die without regrets if she just saw her granddaughter get married... she sings that song day and night."
The station chief herself had come out, serving coffee and proposing a formal matchmaking meeting with her daughter.
Dongcheol snapped at the bait.
"Is your daughter pretty? I've got a bit of a thinning hair situation—would that still be alright?"
The chief glanced at Dongcheol, then tightly clasped my hand and kept going.
"My daughter just loves the boyish type. Would you free up some time tomorrow, by any chance?"
Hah. Not even a casual blind date—a formal introduction for marriage. That's a lot of pressure.
"I'm sorry. I don't really have time these days."
"Well, of course—a man as handsome as a young bachelor wouldn't be short on women following him around. You're busy, and here I am saying nonsense."
"Not at all, Chief."
This time the chief grabbed Seonghyeon's hand.
"Aigoo, what a blessed-looking young man. Free tomorrow, by any chance?"
"I'm already married."
He held up his ring.
"Hooo, what a shame. What a shame."
Dongcheol waited for his turn.
"I've actually got time free tomorrow."
The middle-aged chief shot up from her seat.
"Aigoo, me and my useless chatter. Well then. Take care of those reports and head on home~"
She bolted from the room as if she hadn't heard a word Dongcheol said.
"Hey, you slippery bastard. At this rate, am I ever getting married? Fuck—real world, other world, they all just ignore me."
"No. Doesn't look like you will."
"What. You little shit! I'll—"
Dongcheol cracked me on the head with a knuckle.
Ah, come on~ I honestly don't think you will. I tell the truth and still get hit. So unfair, seriously.