Chapter 38
Translator - Zofu
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I can't lose either.
[ThreesomePlace: Guys. I'm actually Platinum. Don't throw, just stay put. I'll carry you.]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Crazy bitch. I'm actually FAKER. Playing on my friend's account because I'm bored.]
[ILOVEDILDO: Still going on about FAKER? That bitch is washed up now.]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Shut your pussy, you fucking bitch. FAKER unnie is the strongest in the universe. Everyone below Challenger, fuck off.]
Ha, fuck. Knew this would happen.
Let's just fucking play.
But who's this faker? Fuck, I haven't played LoL lately so I don't know who's good anymore.
While waiting for the game to start, the counter staff brings my food.
It is Yukgaejang and triangular kimbap.
The sexy one is the blonde bitch, but the counter girl is cute too.
Come to think of it, I don't see the blonde girl, Han Ji-hye.
But there is also Coke.
"Huh, I didn't order that drink?"
"Oh, it's a free drink. Since you ordered a lot."
Huh? Because I ordered ramen and triangular kimbap?
Well, free is always good.
"Yeah, thanks."
Why's the PC bang being so generous today?
Curious, I ask the cute counter girl.
"Hey, where'd that blonde server girl go? Don't see her anymore."
The cute counter girl answers in a slightly sulky voice.
"Ji-hye? Ji-hye said she wasn't feeling well and went home. She was limping, couldn't walk right. Said she fell in the bathroom... Why? Interested in Ji-hye?"
Ah....... So Ji-hye goes home because I fuck her so hard her pussy hurts.
I laugh boldly like a man.
"No. That girl's name is Ji-hye? Then what's your name, cutie? I'm more interested in you than Ji-hye."
Sorry, Ji-hye.
Since you're not here right now.
I just say whatever my dick feels like saying.
"M-me? You think I'm cute?"
"Yeah. So who's else is here? Do you have Kakaotalk?"
The PC counter girl quickly pulls out her phone and holds it out to me.
"Here. Put in your ID."
Wow, her phone comes out of her pocket faster than light.
Well, if you think about it from her perspective,
A fucking sexy girl comes into the PC bang and initiates a Kakaotalk exchange with the staff.
Acting all cute and shit.
Then her reaction makes sense.
Right now, the PC counter girl's pussy is probably controlling her brain, thinking about fucking me raw.
I slowly type in my Kakaotalk ID and return the phone to the cute PC counter girl.
"Th-thank you!"
I peek and see the cute PC counter girl saving my Kakaotalk profile as 'fucking sexy bastard'.
Fuck, she's so straightforward with the Kakaotalk profile name.
"Alright~ Let's Kakaotalk later."
"Huh? Yes!"
The PC bang girl answers in a frozen, nervous tone and goes back to the counter.
In my head, I am sizing up the cute PC bang girl and the PC bang blonde.
Fuck........ I should try for a real threesome soon.
Just imagining those two together gets me fucking hard.
A fucking sexy blonde tanned bitch-gangster type, and a cute girl with a white, milky-cow style body.
Mouth's watering.
Ah, right! I am in the middle of LoL.
Get distracted talking to the cute PC bang girl.
Sure enough, the chat is going crazy.
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Ah. Fucking teemo bitch, knew you'd do this. Rage quit and ran. Bitch!]
[ILOVEDILDO: Hey. You bitches! Get your mental together. I'm carrying this game.]
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: What are you talking about carrying. Support should just stay quiet.]
[ILOVEDILDO: I'm not support? I'm dealer-tank. Want to die?]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: I'm running~ Just tell me where, unnie? Mid? Top?]
[WantToSuckBigDick: Fuck you pussies. This is my promo. Please save me.]
The game is about to go to shit.
My Yukgaejang cup ramen will get soggy, but let's save the game first.
I turn on voice chat.
"Summoners, teemo has come to his senses. Let's play properly."
Sudden silence.
Someone on my team speaks through voice chat.
"Excuse me. Teemo. Are you a guy by any chance?"
It's a girl with a cute voice.
Damn, LoL really is a mainstream game.
Meeting girls in random matches.
"Yeah, I'm a guy. Why?"
........
More silence.
Instead, the chat lights up.
[ILOVEDILDO: Oh, first time meeting a guy who plays LoL.]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Hello. Your voice is cute.]
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: Where do you live?]
What is this reaction?
Why is everyone suddenly acting so proper and shit.
I answer through voice chat.
"I live in Jamsil. Why?"
Is top teemo trying to fight me IRL?
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: I also live near Jamsil, nice to meet you]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Crazy bitch, you live in Ilsan.]
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: Fuck off, bitch. Gyeonggi-do or Seoul, same shit.]
[ILOVEDILDO: Oh I live in Seocho-dong. That's close.]
Ah, fuck. Are they all trying to fight me IRL?
Why are they so obsessed with where I live?
Is top teemo about to get ganged up on IRL?
..Answer is yes.
Hmm, should I change PC bangs?
"Excuse me."
The girl with the cute voice from earlier speaks in voice chat.
Probably the ID.
WantToSuckBigDick?
What the fuck. That crazy ID.
"Ah, yes."
"Teemo. Fighting!"
"Yeah, you're in your promo too, so let's do our best."
Her voice is cute.
But honestly, most girls who play LoL are orcs.
If they were pretty, where would they find time to play LoL?
They'd be busy dating.
Just a cute voice.
Let's ignore it.
-First Kill!
Silver really is Silver, I guess.
I easily get first blood from top Garen.
Is this Garen bastard retarded?
Fucking teemo trash, straight up feeding.
That's why you're still Silver.
While Garen is forced to respawn, I farm CS hard.
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Wow, teemo is awesome. Sorry for doubting you were Platinum.]
[ILOVEDILDO: Teemo, your CS is fucking good. Can you teach me? I'll buy you dinner.]
Is he gay?
His ID is ILOVEDILDO too.
Fuck. Ignoring.
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: Hey. DILDO bitch. I claimed teemo. Don't cut in line. I'll shove a baseball bat up your pussy.]
Ah, what are these crazy fuckers doing?
Are these bastards all gay?
Feeling was weird.
"Teemo~ Nice shot!"
WantToSuckBigDick cutely throws out in voice chat.
This bitch doesn't seem right in the head either.
A bitch who makes an ID like that can't be sane.
Huh?
Come to think of it, my ID is crazy too.
ThreesomePlace
Suddenly embarrassing.
Anyway, teemo's carry game is going well.
A fed teemo's mushroom is a nuclear bomb.
Then a message pops up in all chat.
All: (*PussyWorld: Ah, fuck. Teemo bitch. Hey! Which PC bang are you at, bitch. I'm coming to find you. Stop fucking planting mushrooms. Bitch.)
Enemy Garen is pissed.
Well, he's already died 5 times stepping on teemo mushrooms.
Must feel like shit.
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: Garen bitch. Watch how you talk to our teemo. I'll fucking destroy your pussy.]
[ILOVEDILDO: Garen bastard. No mom no dad right? Admit it?]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Garen crazy bitch. Your team's getting destroyed because of you. Just play the game. Don't touch teemo who's just minding his own business.]
[WantToSuckBigDick: Teemo, don't get too hurt. Girls who play LoL are just all talk anyway.]
Huh? Why are my teammates even more worked up?
Like they're my bodyguards or something.
Are they really gay bastards?
Feeling was weird.
"Now, let's do dragon. Go go. I'll make the area around dragon a mushroom field first."
My teammates follow my orders in unison.
At the start, they were screaming about throwing.
Guess they all shut up and follow when you carry.
Shortly after.
-Boom! Boom! Boom!
A team fight breaks out near dragon.
And the sound of stepping on teemo's nuclear-level mushrooms rings out.
Must be fucking pissed right about now?
Times like this, you throw out a teemo taunt to crush enemy mental.
All: (*ThreesomePlace: Mushroom! Seems you like mushrooms. A gift for you!)
Fuck.
I send it to all chat but it's fucking evil.
Immediate response.
All:
(*PussyWorld: Wow! Fucking teemo bitch. Just wait. Garen will respawn and tear you apart.)
(*SiberianHousewife: Garen. Fucking bitch. You shut up. The shit you dropped top is overflowing. Ah, fuck so pissed. Really.)
(*FuckMeOppa: Unnie, why are you like that to Garen? What did Garen do wrong. Throwing top because of that. Garen fighting!)
Rolling around in the mushroom field once crushes enemy team mental.
And shortly after.
Enemy summoner has quit.
Mid Veigar starts throwing to top so Garen quits.
Enemy summoner has quit.
Enemy jungle Jax feeds.
We win easily without a proper team fight.
Glass mental Silver bastards, seriously.
In low tiers like Bronze, Silver, if you just keep mental together, high win chance.
Of course, MVP is top teemo.
After the game, messages come.
[ILOVEDILDO: Teemo. Teemo. I love you. Add me. Yes!]
[EngineeringStudentIsMine: Teemo. Jamsil? Coming right now. Let's get coffee.]
[TrapDeltsPussyFlaps: Sir. Do you have Insta? If so, please add me. Insta ID: ShyDCup]
Ah, fucking gay bastards, seriously.
Since when did LoL become gay paradise?
Retards should go to Itaewon gay bar.
Clinging in game.
I take out a cigarette and go to the smoking room.
Sigh~ Even though I won, these gay bastards clinging make me feel gross.
The smoking room is full of women.
What the. Today is really weird.
Do women get discounts at PC bangs?
Well, that could be possible.
PC bang business is bad lately, so they do all sorts of weird events.
Having so many women in a small space is awkward.
Ah, need to smoke quickly and leave.
But, I don't have a lighter.
Left it at home.
Normally that would never happen.
Unless I get shot in the head, it should always be in my pocket.
Guess I'll borrow one.
Since I don't have a lighter, I need to borrow one to smoke.
But the smoking room only has women.
Have no choice but to talk to the one who seems nicest.
"Hey, lighter please."