Chapter 174: Selfish Love
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 174: Selfish Love
Sizzle, crackle.
I was grilling meat.
I was flipping the pieces mindlessly, like some sort of meat-grilling machine. It wasn't because I was particularly focused on the task; it was because my brain had short-circuited from the mental shock.
What just happened?
I definitely rejected her, didn't I?
I was sure I told her we should end this relationship, but in the end, Choi I-seo kissed me, told me she loved me, and then just walked away.
Even now, she was sitting among the others, happily eating the meat I’d grilled.
I stole a glance toward the table and locked eyes with her. She gave me a soft smile and beckoned for me to hurry up and join them.
I looked away, pretending not to see, and went back to the grill.
Did I miscommunicate?
No, that wasn't it. So why did it turn out like this?
Sigh, let’s put Choi I-seo aside for a moment.
I felt like I needed to state my position clearly one more time.
"Did you tell her?"
Gyu-a approached me quietly, holding an empty plate. I placed some meat on it.
"Yeah, I told her."
"Did you choose Senior I-seo? She looks like she’s in a great mood."
Gyu-a glanced over at Choi I-seo.
I opened my mouth, feeling the urge to vent this complicated mess to someone. But after a brief hesitation...
"Get lost."
I shooed her away with a heavy sigh.
"What? I’m just trying to help."
"Yeah, go away. I don't think there's anything you can help me with."
"Senior, don't you think you're treating me a bit too harshly?"
"You treat other guys like dirt, so I figured I should return the favor. Life isn't that easy, Gyu-a."
"…I think you’re the one living life on easy mode, Senior."
I had no comeback for that.
"Just go."
"Ugh, I really did come here to help you."
She scowled, her pride wounded. I didn't care much, but the word "help" caught my attention.
"Help me how?"
"Well, I saw Senior Ah-rin earlier. She lost a game, so she’s heading to the convenience store."
"The convenience store is incredibly far from here, though?"
"That’s why it’s a penalty. She already left, so if you run now, you’ll catch up to her."
"…Thanks."
Even if I was putting Choi I-seo on hold, I had to finish what I started.
"Here."
I handed her the tongs and the glove.
"…I didn't expect this part."
"I'll be back."
Leaving Gyu-a behind, I ran toward the main road. Behind me, I could hear her voice echoing as she called out for Ahn Hyun-ho.
As I ran along the mountain road, I spotted Yoo Ah-rin. Despite the cold, she was wearing short shorts with a hoodie thrown over them.
She was wearing earphones, so she didn't notice me even when I got right behind her.
"Hey."
"Boom-clap, boom-clap."
What kind of music was she even listening to?
"Hey, Yoo Ah-rin."
"Boom-clap, boom-clap, tss-tss."
She suddenly started dancing, her shoulders grooving to the rhythm. She was so good at entertaining herself that it felt like a waste she hadn't pursued a career as a professional broadcaster.
I tapped her shoulder and called out again.
"Hey! Yoo Ah-rin!"
"Holy shit! You scared the crap out of me!"
She practically jumped out of her skin before finally looking at me.
"You startled me!"
She pulled out her earphones and snapped at me.
"You're the one walking around at night with earphones in. It's dangerous."
Especially since this was just a road with nothing around. If something went wrong, it could be serious.
Finding herself without an argument, she pouted and changed the subject.
"What? You want me to buy you something too?"
"No, I want to talk."
"Talk? Ah, is this about Senior Ju-hee?"
Well, it wasn't just about her.
"Yeah, about—"
Rustle!
"Eek!"
A sudden rustling came from the trees beside us. It was probably just the wind shaking the branches, but Ah-rin’s reaction was extreme.
She looked terrified, her body shrinking back.
Ah…
I suddenly remembered her saying a long time ago that she hated scary stories more than anything.
"Ugh, damn it! This is why I didn't want to come! That’s why I was listening to music, you jerk, Woo-jin!"
"Is this my fault?"
"Wh-whatever. If you have something to say, can I just keep my earphones in and listen to music while you talk?"
"Just say you don't want to listen."
Rustle!
"Heek!"
Now completely spooked, she clung to me. Seeing her on the verge of tears, looking around frantically, the tension I’d been holding dissipated.
"Good grief. Ghosts aren't real."
"Did you see one, you bastard?! It’s freaking scary!"
"You're so good at fighting, and yet… Let’s just get to the convenience store first."
I figured it would be better to talk somewhere with a bit more light. I hadn't realized she’d be this terrified.
I could smell a faint scent of fruit on her—she must have had some fruit soju. She was gripping my arm so hard her knuckles were white, tears welling in her eyes. She really was scared.
Rustle! Rustle! Rustle!
"Aaaah, seriously!"
"It’s just the wind. The wind is blowing, so the trees are shaking."
"What wind?! There isn't even a breeze!"
"What are you talking about…"
I raised my hand slightly.
She was right. There was no wind.
Then why were the trees and bushes shaking?
Just as I started to feel a chill myself, influenced by her fear—
Crackle!
Something burst through the brush.
It was a wild water deer.
"KYAAAAAAAH!"
"It’s a water deer! Just a deer! It’ll pass by on its own!"
I tried to calm Ah-rin, who was now literally hanging off me, while I stared at the deer. I’d heard they were usually skittish and ran away quickly.
"…Why isn't that thing moving?"
The deer just stood there on the edge of the road, staring blankly at us.
"What’s wrong with it?"
"I don't know. Don't they usually run?"
Realizing it wasn't a ghost, Ah-rin seemed to recover slightly. She let go of me and balled her hands into fists.
"Should I chase it off?"
"If it charges at us, we’re in trouble. Let’s just wait."
We waited for about five minutes. The creature stood its ground like Zhang Fei at Changban Slope, staring us down.
"What is its problem?"
Ah-rin grumbled in frustration, but we couldn't exactly just ignore it and walk past.
Right then.
Headlights illuminated the road behind us. As a car sped past us—
Zip!
The water deer suddenly bolted to cross the road.
Thud!
It slammed right into the side of the car, tumbled a few times, and died on the spot with its tongue hanging out.
The driver, startled, brought the car to a halt and let out a long, shaky sigh.
"…That deer really made a big decision, huh?"
"Maybe it was being bullied in the forest?"
If it wanted to cross, it should have done it earlier. Why did the idiot wait until a car was passing to kill itself?
"I’ve heard they get hit by cars a lot, but seeing it happen is… jarring."
"It’s like a psycho."
With the deer gone, we were able to continue to the convenience store. Because of the bizarre incident, the serious atmosphere I’d been trying to build had completely evaporated.
What is even happening?
I almost felt like someone was intentionally interfering with me. Still, I had to do what I came to do.
Ah-rin came out of the store with the items the others had requested. I was standing outside, staring blankly at the surroundings, choosing my words.
Considering the walk back, maybe now wasn't the best time to say it, but once we got back to the pension, we wouldn't have any time to talk privately.
"What are you looking at? It’s pitch black out here."
I wanted to say I was looking at the scenery, but it was literally too dark to see anything.
She handed me a Hershey Choco Milk. I took it but didn't open it, setting it down on a table in front of the store instead.
Sensing the heavy atmosphere, Ah-rin placed her shopping bag on the table and looked at me.
"You said you had something to say?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, out with it."
I remembered my conversation with Choi I-seo. The words I’d gathered the courage to say hadn't produced the result I wanted. This time, I needed to be firmer and more resolute.
Just like when I spoke to Choi I-seo, it felt like a heavy stone was sitting on my chest. But I looked Yoo Ah-rin straight in the eye and declared our end.
"I don't think we can date. Let’s end this complicated mess and find other people."
"Screw that."
…
……
………Huh?
Did I hear that right?
I stared at her blankly, but her expression didn't change as she looked up at me.
"Is that all? That was nothing."
"Did I hear you correctly? Or did that deer hit me and I’m dreaming—"
Whack!
"Ow!"
Ah-rin smacked my shoulder. It hurt enough to bring a tear to my eye.
"Hurts, right? Not a dream. If your ears are still acting up, want me to slap some sense into them?"
"No, no. I’m fine. I heard you. You told me to screw off. Should I take my pants off and actually do it?"
"So you understood. You carry the bag. That’s your penalty for getting a confession from Senior Ju-hee."
"Yes, ma'am."
I watched her walk away for a moment before snapping back to my senses.
"Wait, hold on! I’m not joking! I’m being serious!"
"Sigh."
Ah-rin stopped and turned around with a deep sigh.
"Yeah, I heard you. I said I heard you, didn't I? You want to quit. And I told you: no."
"No… I mean…"
"Why? Do I have to do everything you say? I’m pretty sure I’ve ignored you more often than I’ve listened to you."
Well, that was true. But this was different.
"Ah-rin, I’m being serious. I know this is a terrible thing to say. But I can't stand myself anymore. I feel pathetic."
"…"
"It’s right to stop here. For my sake, and for yours."
She had to know that our current relationship was messy and abnormal. It might seem fine for now, but I could only see an ending where everyone got hurt.
As I spoke, Ah-rin’s expression gradually turned serious. Then, she put her hands on her hips and replied.
"I said, screw that."
"…Hey."
"You’re having a hard time? Why is that my problem?"
I was speechless. She was so confident that it actually flustered me.
"You selfish bastard. Did you think you were the only one who could be selfish? Did you think I’d just dance to your tune forever?"
A shameless smirk played on her lips.
"You don't get to decide when it’s over. I do."
Ah-rin marched up to me and grabbed me by the collar. She yanked me toward her and gave me a mocking grin.
"So shut up and stay put. You’re interfering with my love life."
My mouth hung open in shock. Taking advantage of the gap, she gave me a brief, firm kiss.
It felt like my brain had been repeatedly pummeled. Did she even realize what she was saying?
But Ah-rin, acting as if she had nothing more to say, let go of my collar, pulled a Chocomong out of the bag, and poked a straw into it.
"Are we done? Then let’s go. If we’re late, the kids will eat all the meat."
It was the exact same feeling I’d had after talking to Choi I-seo. Faced with her resolute confession, I could only pick up the bag and trudge after her.
I felt like a leash had been snapped onto my neck. Ah-rin’s declaration that she would love me selfishly bound me just that tightly.
"Hmm, was I too harsh?"
As we walked along the dark path, Ah-rin tilted her head and muttered to herself.
"I guess just dragging you along is a bit much. Fine, let’s set some times."
"What are you talking about?"
I looked at her, wondering what kind of bizarre idea she’d come up with now.
Ah-rin grinned mischievously.
"During the day, I’ll do whatever the hell I want."
Even though no one was around, she leaned in and whispered secretly.
"But at night, I’ll let you win as much as you want."