Chapter 173: Method of Expression
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 173: Method of Expression
“So, who is it?”
At Gyu-a’s sudden intrusion, Senior Ju-hee also glanced my way.
“What is?”
“Oh, come on, you know what I’m asking. I mean, who are you going to choose?”
“…….”
I hadn’t expected her to ask so directly.
“None of your business,” I replied bluntly, ignoring her.
Ju-hee seemed to decide it wasn’t her place to intervene and let it slide.
“How can I help?” she asked.
“Just… I’ll just talk to them one by one. Please just make sure no one else comes around while I do.”
At my determined answer, Ju-hee nodded.
Thump.
She gave me a supportive pat on the back.
“I know it’s hard.”
She offered a gentle smile and words of comfort, a side of her I rarely saw.
“But it’s the right thing to do. I’m proud of you for making the right choice. And thank you for making sure I don’t regret having liked you.”
“Senior…”
“After the MT is over… I don’t know who it’ll be, but let’s all grab a drink with your girlfriend.”
I only gave a bitter smile in response, offering no further word.
Could I really choose someone?
I feared that, in the end, I was simply a selfish person.
* * *
I had said I would set aside time, but finding a private moment during an MT was harder than I thought.
It was difficult to slip away from the crowd, and since these girls naturally attracted people around them, it was immediately obvious if even one of them went missing.
‘This is tricky.’
Time slipped away without me managing to do anything properly.
After the foot volleyball tournament ended, I decided to prepare dinner since I hadn't contributed much else. Ju-hee was the one directing everything anyway; I was just there for the manual labor.
‘Reminds me of the festival.’
The memories were still vivid because so much had happened back then, but quite a bit of time had actually passed since. Our relationships had changed significantly since those days, too.
“What are you doing?”
Grilling meat is the national rule of any MT. A voice called out from beside me as I was lighting the charcoal in the barbecue grill.
It was Choi I-seo.
“Weren’t you resting with the others?”
I’d heard she’d been worn out by the professors earlier, so I wondered why she was out here.
“I should help with dinner. It’ll take forever if you leave it all to the freshmen.”
“Ju-hee’s here, so it’s fine.”
“I can’t leave it all to her.”
Even as she spoke, she didn't move away from my side. As I awkwardly continued to light the fire, she spoke again.
“Are you grilling the meat?”
“Yeah. I skipped the foot volleyball earlier, so I should at least do this.”
“Stir-fried pork?”
“No, not that. Just grilling.”
“Reminds me of the festival.”
It seemed we were thinking the same thing. Choi I-seo stared blankly at the flickering flames for a moment before poking me in the ribs.
“Aren’t you going to explain?”
“……About Senior Ju-hee?”
“Yes.”
She stared at me intently. I figured acting flustered would only make it look more suspicious, so I explained as plainly as possible.
“She confessed, and I turned her down. That’s really all there is to it.”
“Right, I know that. But I wanted you to be the one to come and tell me.”
“……I messed up.”
She was different from Yoo Ah-rin, who had reacted emotionally and grumbled. I had forgotten that since their personalities were different, my approach should have been different too.
“I’m sorry.”
When I apologized sincerely, Choi I-seo watched me for a moment before lightly placing her hand over the grill. She was checking if the heat was rising.
In that brief moment, I scanned our surroundings. Since the grill had to be outside, there was no one immediately around us, but someone could show up at any second. It wasn't an ideal place for a conversation, but…
“Everyone, let’s start setting the tables!”
I heard Ju-hee’s voice leading the others. When I glanced over, I saw her intentionally directing the students to set the tables away from us, keeping them from coming this way.
I caught her eye and nodded, taking a calm, deep breath.
I had braced myself, but the words didn't come easily.
However, I knew I had to say it.
“I-seo.”
Crackle.
To the rhythm of the burning charcoal, I whispered softly.
“Let’s end this.”
There was no way she could misunderstand what I meant. My heart felt heavy as the words left my mouth, but I knew they were words that needed to be said.
“…….”
A single sentence packed with meaning.
I expected resentment. I was even prepared to stand still and take a few hits if she wanted to swing at me.
However, her expression didn't change much.
She didn't even answer.
Was she too shocked to respond? Or was it because she had already been prepared for this?
Choi I-seo remained calm, taking her time.
What would her answer be?
As I waited for her, my heart pounding, she finally spoke.
“The 'you' right now…”
Her voice was steady. She sounded no different than usual as she confessed her inner thoughts.
“Are you the Kim Woo-jin I loved?”
With that one sentence, I felt as if a massive stone had been lodged in my throat.
The suffocation was so intense I could hardly breathe. My tongue felt too heavy to move.
“Recently… the thought suddenly occurred to me.”
“…….”
“Are my feelings fading? Is that why I’m having these doubts?”
“I suppose so.”
It was only natural. I was a man wavering between multiple women. It was only right for her to lose affection for me.
Even though I was the one calling it quits, my heart was the one that ached.
The fact that I had disappointed Choi I-seo hurt more than anything else.
“That must be it.”
Even so, I agreed with her. In the end, I couldn't give her the answer she wanted. Thinking it was for the best, I gave a bitter smile and started to turn away.
But then I saw Choi I-seo staring at me, a smile on her face.
“They say two-timers have a specific trait.”
I intended to just listen. Any complaints or resentment she had were rightfully mine to bear.
But why was she smiling so happily?
“They say they constantly confess their love. They say things like 'you're the only one for me,' almost as if they're brainwashing the person.”
“What are you trying to say?”
Unable to follow the flow of the conversation, I asked her to clarify. Choi I-seo shook her head with a smile, as if something was incredibly amusing.
“You’re the exact opposite, aren't you?”
“…….”
“You’ve never once told me—no, any of us—that you love us.”
She continued.
“So I thought about it. You don't hesitate to be physically intimate. You have no patience at all in that regard.”
“Ahem.”
The truth stung.
“Why is that?”
Because I’m a selfish Kim Woo-jin who’s slave to his desires. That was the only answer I had—
“It’s because that’s all you had.”
Tap.
Choi I-seo’s finger touched my chest. She was smiling brightly, as if she had finally found the answer after a long search.
“Because if you confess with words, that’s the end.”
“…….”
“So, there was only one way you could express yourself. The moment you put it into words, everything becomes clear, but the intent behind actions can be interpreted in many ways.”
“…….”
“You said love and lust are different. But actually, love encompasses lust too.”
Therefore…
“That’s why you acted on your desires. Because that was the only way you could express your love to us.”
Actions speak louder than words.
It was a famous sentiment, but…
“You were masking your love as lust.”
Conversely, because things would end the moment they became clear through words, there were things that could only be expressed through actions.
That was our relationship.
The kind of relationship that would end the moment I confessed my love to someone.
“Shall we go back to what you said?”
Choi I-seo’s gaze hadn't wavered from me once.
“You want to end this?”
Her direct gaze made me want to run away in spite of myself.
“Even though you’ve been confessing your passionate love for me like this?”
“N-no… that’s…”
“Hehe. Woo-jin, do you know something?”
There was only one reason I wanted to run away.
“Your face is bright red. Are you embarrassed?”
“……!”
Yes, I was embarrassed, and that’s why I wanted to flee.
I hurriedly covered my face with my arms. It was clear that the heat I felt wasn't from the charcoal in front of me.
“Since you couldn't say you loved us, you expressed it by pretending to be crazed by lust instead.”
Choi I-seo took a step closer.
I instinctively backed away and shouted.
“So what? In the end, I couldn't choose anyone. I’m just a selfish bastard. I’m sick of myself too. I want to stop now.”
Despite my sincere confession, Choi I-seo stepped toward me again, grabbed my hand, and pulled me toward her.
“You’re so selfish that even your consideration for others is selfish.”
“…….”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve won everything so far, and I have no intention of losing now.”
I was speechless.
I had clearly confessed my feelings. I had said I couldn't do this anymore. I had said let’s end it.
So why were my feelings for Choi I-seo only growing larger?
“To be honest, I was worried at first. I thought you might just be satisfied with this situation and try to maintain it.”
Relief now filled Choi I-seo’s eyes.
“And that wouldn't be the Kim Woo-jin I loved.”
In front of my bewildered self, she stood on her tiptoes.
Placing her hand on my chest and leaning in, she gave me a brief kiss.
Mwah.
“Thank you for telling me to end it, Woo-jin.”
She smiled and confessed to me, while I stood there with a face flushed crimson from shock.
“You really are the Kim Woo-jin I love.”