A New Challenge
When did lunchtime slip away, when did evening pass, and when did night arrive? There was no other way to describe it but to say the whole thing was fucked. I had no idea how the day had gone, and now I lay in bed with dark circles under my eyes. Tick, tock. The only sound was the clock’s hands as I spent the entire day lying there.
As of today—no, I checked the clock again. Since it was past midnight, Cha Jun-jae had become my boyfriend as of yesterday. Even when I tried to organize my thoughts, the heavy emotion crushing my chest made it hard to breathe. Dizzy, I rolled over and, grasping for some futile hope, opened my phone.
How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend
I typed it quickly, then deleted the end and rewrote it.
How to Make Your Boyfriend Lose Interest in You
True to the information age, several blog posts appeared. At first it must have misread my intent and showed ways to keep him interested. Gritting my teeth, I dug a little deeper, but the advice that surfaced was the usual: borrow money, swear at him, show an ugly side of yourself. None of it sat well with me.
If I rejected Cha Jun-jae now, it felt like pushing someone who was already standing at the edge of a cliff. Or maybe not. Maybe I was overthinking it. But what if Cha Jun-jae really was in a dangerous state? What if I truly was the only person he could lean on?
If he would lend me money when I asked, smile when I showed an ugly side, and stay by me even after I cursed him and hurt him—there could be nothing worse than that. And if he ever realized I had deliberately acted that way to push him away… Cha Jun-jae would lose his mind and die.
Knock, knock. The sound of knuckles on the door cut through my thoughts. I turned off the phone and looked toward the entrance. When no answer came from inside, Cha Jun-jae spoke up.
“Are you asleep? Eun-dam.”
If I stayed quiet he would leave, but I knew that would only postpone today’s question until tomorrow. It wouldn’t make it disappear. After a moment’s hesitation I answered in a steady voice.
“I’m not asleep. Why?”
The door opened at once and Cha Jun-jae stepped in. He was wearing a black tank top. A slightly shy smile, eyes darting as if embarrassed—my gaze went to his arms. The naturally revealed lines of muscle on both arms were unmistakably masculine. It was unfair that a body maintained only by occasional running and swimming could look that beautiful. It was even more unfair that he himself seemed unaware of it.
“This fell off.”
What Cha Jun-jae had brought was a shirt with one button missing. A sewing kit rested in his hand. He even added, just in case, that he often lost buttons. Caught off guard, I said okay. Soon the bed sank beside me with his weight and my mind sharpened.
I can’t sew. But having already accepted the task, I would rather die than admit it. Pride is what keeps me fed. I must have learned the basics in home economics class. Encouraging myself that I could at least manage the fundamentals, I picked up the needle and thread.
I poked the needle vigorously where the button had come off and looped the thread through the holes any which way. When it felt reasonably secure, a smile rose to my lips. I shook the finished shirt and turned around.
“Cha Jun-jae! Look, I did a good—”
While I had been focused on needle and thread, the wretched Cha Jun-jae had fallen asleep with his head on my pillow. The soft, even sound of his breathing could not possibly be an act. I set the shirt down carefully and kept watch over his sleeping face.
This really did look as if he had handed me the shirt on purpose.
Did he trust my skills too much, or was he simply that innocent? I pulled the blanket up to his neck and started to rise, but my body was suddenly yanked backward. I rolled across the bed like a ball and landed on my side. When I came to my senses, I was trapped in Cha Jun-jae’s arms. The man who had been pretending to sleep had pulled me in.
“Hey. You’re not sleeping.”
I felt pathetic for trying to tiptoe out so quietly. Cha Jun-jae continued the act, holding me like a body pillow. I tickled his side, hoping to force the truth out of him, but the stubborn man endured the torture without flinching. With only a faint smile, as if in revenge, he tightened his arms around my neck. Trapped by the pervert in a tank top, I soon gave up struggling.
After all, I had fallen asleep beside him twice while watching movies.
“Sleep a little more comfortably. Relax just a bit.”
Even though he knew I was awake, he stubbornly draped his leg over me as well. It was so heavy I thought I would die. Gritting my teeth, I slowly turned until I faced him. Deprived of the soft pillow, I would have to sleep on the arm I had secretly admired earlier.
“I’m not going to run away, so just lower your leg a little.”
Only then did he seem to believe me and move his leg. Cha Jun-jae slid his hand lower, wrapping it around my shoulder and pulling me closer. With my nose buried in his chest, I hooked my own leg over him the same way he had done to me. It was only fair.
Honestly, I had been terribly worried about how to face Cha Jun-jae. But because he approached me in such a playful way, I found it much easier to treat him naturally. We drew a little closer, touched each other a little more freely, yet the process was not as burdensome as I had feared.
“Lower it.”
“Huh?”
I had been studying his closed eyes when he spoke again. I thought he had finally decided to stop pretending, but his voice held not a trace of mischief.
“Eun-dam. Your leg. Lower it.”
“No. Isn’t yours heavy too?”
“I don’t think I can hold back any longer.”
What exactly are you holding back? The words died in my throat. A hot, unmistakable heat seemed to gather below his waist. I slowly slid my leg down. The thought that one wrong move might lead to something beyond kissing made me obediently tuck my arms against myself and remain in his embrace. Soon I heard the steady rhythm of Cha Jun-jae’s breathing and let my own heart settle.
The lingering trace of yesterday’s kiss still clung to my lips. I touched them gently, as if savoring that deep aftertaste, while listening to my heart that refused to slow down.
He had insisted he didn’t like me at all. It was almost funny how quickly Cha Jun-jae had seized the chance the moment I slipped up. Funny, and yet complicated feelings stirred inside me as I watched him sleep so peacefully beside me.
He seemed pitiful and annoying at the same time. I wanted to help him, yet I wondered if that was simply meddling. My own problems were already more than I could handle—who was I to help anyone else? Still, I had the intense feeling that without me, this man with broken wings would simply fall.
I didn’t know. Maybe because this wasn’t Korea, I found myself a little more forgiving toward others. It felt as if I were living in some kind of fantasy rather than reality. Cha Jun-jae had been the enemy fox who intruded upon my sweet illusion, yet somehow he had become part of that illusion too.
I gathered my courage and reached out. Whether he was pretending or truly asleep, I patted his back, hoping he would have a beautiful dream.
Each gentle pat released a fragrant scent from the nape of his neck and his chest. It smelled like fabric softener, like shampoo—sharp at first, then softly fading, only to linger warmly inside my heart.
Wrapped in a scent so pleasant it made my head throb, I fell asleep almost at once. I dreamed of something soft and sweet like cotton candy. It must have been the deepest sleep I had enjoyed since arriving on Dalos Island. The plan to slip away at dawn quietly vanished.
I woke to a shower of gentle kisses. The sensation of foxtail grass tickling my eyebrows kept disturbing my rest. When I finally managed to open my eyes, Cha Jun-jae was right there. What? It’s Cha Jun-jae. Having seen that face yesterday, today, and only moments ago, I thought nothing of it and closed my eyes again.
But one second later, three seconds later, awareness hit me and I opened my eyes to stare at him.
What? It’s Cha Jun-jae.
Someone had definitely kissed my eyebrows. One of Cha Jun-jae’s arms lay beneath my head, the other rested across my side, and my leg was draped over his thigh.
As I tried to carefully disentangle our bodies—fitted together like Lego pieces—Cha Jun-jae’s eyes fluttered open. Having slept under the same blanket, we looked at each other with fresh, almost startled eyes.
“Did you sleep well?”
This was a new challenge.